rate_review Reviews

18? oops, I must of forgotten. And yes! I KNEW Roy was molested...gosh this chapter made me cry so BAD. First because of how nice Roy was acting and then that one part where he just turned everything around and said 'This is all your fault, you know that, right?' AH! from then on I was possitively sobbing. So sad and REAL. Do I have to mention again how much I love this story? And Roy is insane, I think, but that can happen after brutal abuse. One moment he's almost apologizing (he did this another time too, after his mom died) and then he's like 'If you weren't so reckless I wouldn't have raped you'. Wtf? Sigh, aw well. Evile Roy is hard to get used to, but you do it SO well. I wish someone would find out, because very rarely do abuse victims (especially sexual) ever TELL people about it.

Can't wait for your nect update. I saw this one and it made my day!

Love ya -Aly

I don't think you could have chosen a better way to write this. By writing this strictly from the sensorial perspective, you highlight just how traumatized Ed really is. I was softly crying thru most of this. Ed was just so pitiful when he was begging (in his head at least) Roy to not hurt him. *feels tears welling in eyes again* I was really feeling Ed's panic when Roy conned Al into leaving him alone with Ed! I was trembling and holding my breath in fear of what Roy might do! *tears fall* The bathing scene made me nervous as hell what with Ed being naked and pretty much unable to defend himself. I did smile briefly when Ed refused to take off his clothes in front of Roy making the bastard do it for him. *weak smile* Ed's fiery personality hasn't been completely destroyed! :) I did panic briefly and get slightly nauseous when Roy opened the tube of ointment. (Oh no! Not again! *cries*) I so wanted to beat Roy black and blue for daring to make all this Ed's fault!! "We’re close; we understand each other..." Yeah right. Who are you trying to convince here Roy boy? Ed (i.e. me) or yourself? Your timid hesitant sweet-talk just screams of your guilt. The vicious cycle of what-was-done-to-me-I-now-do-to-you continues.

I gotta hand it to ya - you're an absolutely amazing author! Anybody who can write a story like this that draws so many emotions out of me at once is top notch in my book! Btw, thanks for those hugs from last review when I was empathizing with Ed a bit too much. Your story has made me understand some things about my own situation that I never really took notice of. As you said, "No matter what the degree of the abuse, it’s still abuse, and it’s still destructive." I guess I always knew that but just never acknowledged it. (Denial anyone? *smiles*)

I am becoming more and more curious about the circumstances of the final confrontation between Roy and Ed. I remember from chapter one that Riza told Ed how traumatized Al was and I'm wondering if the reason why Ed finally kills Roy, aside from the obvious one, is because Roy attacked and molested Al. Ed "accepts" all this crap as atonement for his sins but there is no way in all of creation he would stand by and let anything happen to Al. I thought at first that Al was so upset because he'd witnessed Ed killing Roy but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's both. Maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about! :) It's probably the latter. ;) Well, I'm off to find something to settle these nervous knots this chapter put in my stomach. *sigh* I'm such an emotional basket case sometimes!
Update soon!
Koneko =^.^=

I'll have to admit, most chapters I've only skimmed. Not because I dislike your writing, but frankly, the topic and pairing bother me. Not that Roy/Ed bother me, but that's the problem. I -love- the couple, and while I enjoy angst...not this kind. Yet, somehow, I keep getting drawn back to the fic whenever you update; sometimes I read the chapters, sometimes I just skim, depending on how...far it goes, if you get what I mean. That being said, I feel for -both- Roy and Ed. Roy's timid attutide in the beginning...both really are victoms. No, what Roy is doing isn't right or fair, but I think you get a hint in this chapter (maybe others, considering my skimming when I get uncomfortable) that Roy really has suffared. That he really does hate himself for what he's doing, yet this is -all- he knows, all he can -do-. People tend to focus and go 'Oh, poor Ed' etc, and mostly, in the chapter, I kept wanting to hug -Roy-. Because while he's doing these horrible things to Ed, I think he's hurting emotionally and mentally from it. He just can't stop, because he doesn't know -how- to, nor does he know anything but that. Both characters are suffaring, yet it's almost more unfair to Roy because he'll never get to heal. Ed may have that chance, considering he kills Roy, and that he has a supportive family. It's a cruel cycle, and it hurts everyone, not just the one on the recieving end.
Yes, I'm done now. ^^;; I love your writing style, and while I'm not all that comfortable with this story, I'll probably continue to skim it. I hope you're not insulted that I haven't read all the details and such, it's just not my cup of tea when it's between a pairing I love to death. But keep up the good work. I'm off to read one of your more happier stories. :)

This story is unbelievable, in a good way. If anyone has gone through anything even remotely similar this is cathartic. Very well written with nuances that make it seem real like you're living it instead of reading it. Keep up the good work.

I feel sick. And I'm horrified. And just... *shudders*
This is a very intense story and to be honest, I'm not sure if I want to read on.
It's bound to get worse.

I like your writing style or, I don't know... This story depresses me so much, I can't really
say I like it, but it sure as hell draws me in and keeps my attention. The situations are so
frighteningly real, it really unsettles me.

I'm not sure how to say what I think right now. It's really rare that I review a story,
maybe once in two months, but this one definitively deserves it. So I guess it's very, very
good... (and very, very unsettling)
One can understand Ed's feelings very well, his reasoning, his fears, and in a kind of sick, twisted
way I can even almost understand Mustang.

I realize what I just wrote may not sound too encouraging all in all, so I'll say it like this:
You're a very talented writer and what you're writing here touches people.

Greetings,
Shiruy

(And now I'll search for something happy to read. I need it. Badly.)

Your writing as always was fantastic. This chapter blew my mind away. I ended up crying at the end of it.

that coniving bastard...Mustang that is...pulling Ed around for a merry mind fucking XP

great chapter btw XD

kiki

Oh Jesus Christ.

I just wanna scream at him so badly and I think I scared my mother by cussing my computer out. That sick sunvabitch is doing like all those bastards do. Calmly making you feel so much more horrible than you already do. Threatening you with soft, twisted words and then sending you on your way until they hurt you again. Being nice and comfortable around you, but when you get better--

FUCK THEM!!

...*ahem* Sorry. Geez, Zakai, you really are so freakin' talented. I can't believe how good you are at this! You haven't had something happen to you too, have you? How perfect the way it is freaks me out. Of course, if Ed was older, instead of the young age he is now... I think it would've turned out differently. But because he is so defenseless and easy to manipulate, I would expect this kind of reaction. If he was older, I think he would either defy Roy and run with Alphonse... or he would even use Roy for some kind of pleasure and assurance during his search for the truth and a way to get his brother's body back.
It's great to see how you switch the chapters to make it like we are in his thinking zone. In the last chapter, I felt the frantic, scalding terror he was going through and in this chapter, I sense the fear and pain, confusion he is going through. It freaked me out so bad, because you can never predict how a rapist will act. Poor Edward had to endure his touches again, with those soothing words, with an underlying message sitting behind it. His panic when Al was leaving and his anger at Roy, that with which he can do nothing with.
Maybe I'm getting too into this, but I love it a lot and I still support it 100 percent. It's a wonderful, true-to-life (besides alchemy) story that happens everyday and I always can't wait until the update to see when Ed finally snaps and kicks some ass. I can see Ed in his mindless state, killing Mustang brutally and if that's a bad thing, so what. He deserves it, that- that... BASTARD COLONEL. (although, otherwise he is one of my favorite characters)

Loveyou,loveyou!

lovelovelovelove,
stupefiedNarutard

Wow, i almost cried on this one. Ed's fear and Roy's "hoh shit" guilt, fear, and ulitimate manipulation almost did me in. It's just hitting the right w33py button on me. (yes, the actual rape i can take, but the aftermath does me in.. i'm so weird like that) Very nicely done. *hugs*

**sniff sniff** Poor Ed.

Well done

Sad... but well done