rate_review Reviews

wow, those song lyrics really take on a new light after having finished this story! expertlly handled and exucuted (sp?) I think you've done a great job going through all the various stages of Ed's guilt and the motivations behind it!

anyway, tough story, but you did well XD

kiki

Well, I managed to finish this. You're right, it is sad, it is depressing, but it is wonderfully told. I never dealt with abuse, but this does give an inkling into the mind of someone who has in a way that no lifetime movie could dream of doing. I have known those who have been abused, but many are not able to convey how it made them feel. My own mother was saved from such a situation with an uncle, and while he'd never managed to go further than make an attempt at her before being caught, it was many years before she could really remember or communicate how it had made her feel (I was almost ready to start college). I think you are very brave to put this out there for the rest of us to read.
Though I could never see canon Roy doing the things he's done in this fic, the Roy you've created makes me hate the man and, like Riza, want to kill him for Ed. Ed, however, was true to canon with his willingness to sacrifice so many things for his brother's sake and for the philosopher's stone. He is the ultimate caretaker and protector, even at the risk of his own mental well-being. If put into such a situation, I can imagine Ed reacting just the way he did to Roy, for the sake of his brother. I can even see him pushing Al away out of fear of hurting him in the way he, himself had been hurt.
I am not the sort who backs away from stories that make me uncomfortable, but I realized while I was reading that to properly gain my thoughts, I needed to wait until the end to make any coherant sense of what I'd read or what I'd want to write in response. So rather than several shorter reviews, I'm writing you a book now. (or so it seems to me)
The end of this story was perfect, especially, going over Riza's experience while watching Ed tell his story. It made the straightforward narrative more emotional (as if it wasn't on its own), imagining how it would have been relayed to this woman, how it broke Ed up to simply tell it.
I felt that the reason Ed would shoot Roy was also real. So much of the abuse stemmed from Ed's love for Al and willingness to do anything to protect him, so naturally, the reason he'd kill the same man who hurt him would not be for his own sake, but for Al's. I had wondered, after the abuse continued for so long what exactly would push Ed over the edge, suspecting it might be Al's safety, because Ed had been put into such a mental state that he seemed to care very little about his own well-being.
I will say that when I'm asked about a good fanfiction to read, I recommend this to others, despite the fact that it has made me uncomfortable at times, and left me thinking about it for hours later. I think for those very reasons, I have recommended it. This story stays with a person once they've read it, and that says something about your writing and the truth to the emotion and the real injustice in the world that you have protrayed here.
As for this review, I think I've managed to convey everything into this, if it was a teeny bit random or scattered (or very random and scattered). Though, I will say that my heart goes out to you, after reading the author's note especially. To go through what you have, to be a survivor, says a great deal about you and how strong you truly are. Though I haven't gotten to talk to you as much as I would like to, because you have been entertaining to chat with, I am proud to say you are a friend, even if our friendship is over an internet connection and the occasional im.

YAY! I'm happy! I'm waiting for the next chapter of that story since july! XDDD (Rizey dances around the desk in a stupid way) You're really, really great, to write so fastly so many splendid fic. I really envy you. But alas my (useless) compliments, I must say that I'm a little bit sad this story's finished. Relieved just like you, in a way, but sad. As the "bad guy"'s advocate (I don't like the word "devil" referred to Roy, I love him too much, even in this story. And now I imagine an enraged crow hunting for my head) I think that I'll never recover from his death.
And this end, so... incomplete, this open end, leaves me worse that an end in which Ed dies or goes away from prison and repeats that circle of violence with his brother. I'm not saying that I don't like it. I do. Very Much. But in some way I'ld have prefered a End.

Eeeew, damn the bad marks at school, I wish I can explain myself better!
Well, I'll try anyway.

I think, but is only my opinion, that if on one side the open end permits a sort of catharsys, a way to make end the story as anyone prefers, and it makes the story sooo real, on the other is really frightnening don't know what will happen from this point: in specific, there are good chances that Ed continues the circle (frightening). It kills me don't know it for sure.
I think i will cry again. T_T

If I reborn, i want to live in a country in which they speak ENGLISH!!
Compiments for your story!
It's the best I can say! T_T

God...that was so good. I cried at the end. It hurt so much to read this fic...but I couldn't stop. You wrote his pain and emotions so well...it almost felt like I was him feeling them. Awesome job.

thank you for a wonerful story and a great experiance in reading it.

Beautiful. I liked the cyclical nature of beginning with Riza's perspective and ending with it. The redemption at the end was so key... Thank you for sharing! So glad you did.

Zakai, you story was very depressing, but beautiful in it's tragedy. I almost cryed my eyes out reading the last two chapters. And I think you ended it briliantly. giving a little hope but no perfect, false, happy ending. I really think you've touched/reached people with this story and I'm so glad you found the courage to continue with it till the end.

-Jes

You're right this story was really hard to read but it is based on so many people's lives. I'm glad you had the strength to post this and that you were able to share with people the seriousness of abuse with people who ignored it and to people who are going through it. i can only imagine the trouble you had writing this and if anyone comments too harshly for your choice in a topic don't listen to them. this was one of the most compelling stories i have even read on abuse. you did a great job.

*shoves aside a small mountain of tissues* God I've got a headache from crying so much. whew. This chapter made you relive all the gory details of the whole story before it right along with Ed. It was brutal but I liked how you let us see how Ed reacted to everything he'd been thru. It made it more real, gave it more impact. very visceral. So much so that it took me several minutes after I finished reading it to get myself coherent enough to write this review. I still don't feel too rational. ;_; Oh my God, when Riza said, "I believe you", and Ed looked up at her with hope in his eyes, I bawled! T_T Three little words, just three little words, is all it took to pull Ed out of the downward spiral into utter despair he was in. She gave him hope and a reason to live. She let him know that there was someone (herself) out there who really does care about him. Thank you, Riza. We both needed that.

I've had this one dread/fear that's been in the back of my mind since I started reading this. I've always been afraid that Ed would become suicidal or be left to languish in prison. [Oh wait. That's two fears - suicide and prison. *sigh* Well I did say I wasn't in my right mind right now. *shakes head* Can't even count straight. *weak smile*] I was always worried that it would all become too much for Ed and he would just end it. If not for Al, he just might have. Being left to rot in prison is certainly no better given what we've all been told goes on in prison. *shudders* Since the chapter ended kinda open-ended I still don't have a definitive answer but that's OK. I liked how the rain ended with the promise of a brighter tomorrow. I'm guessing you did this to imply that there was hope for Ed and that with Riza's support both he and Al would be OK. One can only hope. I am plagued now by thoughts of what happens next - the trial and all its fallout (public scorn, pity, shame, and sympathy. There won't be anywhere in all of Amestris he can go to to get away from it all, at first anyway. ;_;) and all the hard work (i.e. counseling) that's ahead for Ed. IF you ever get inspired to write a sequel to this, a nice little one-shot about how Ed overcame all would be nice.
Here's to hope. May we never run out of it. :)
Koneko =^.^=

you are one of the most talented and amazing fanfictionwriters i have ever seen. This story was so honest and real. thank you for writing it. please let me know when you update Aagain. my address is saint2sinners@yahoo.co.uk

it's on the notes area of my profile as well.