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January 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I liked it
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December 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
That was AWESOME. Really.. we need WAY more Krillin/18 fics. Thanks for a good one!
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December 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Yes, a couple of things, you can refer to 18 as 'she' and 'her' and use other words instead of 'cock' and 'pussy' all the time, it makes everyone know you're an amateur. You are very repetitive and I tried to enjoy it despite that. Let me tell you, it was hard. You need to read other smutty hets and derive a better writing style from it. I know this is just a pwp, but it is very childish and immature with the sex scenes. Try again, I think you might get it.
That being said, you have a talent as a writer, as not all writers do. You have the propensity to do better, I believe. Keep writing, you'll get better.
That being said, you have a talent as a writer, as not all writers do. You have the propensity to do better, I believe. Keep writing, you'll get better.
schedule
December 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
haha so thats why krilin has hair in gt