rate_review Reviews

I am, actualy, but shhh, no one is supposed to know >.>

Eitherway, yay Mafia involvment and Horray for Al, Finaly!! XD yayness and much loves for this chapter ^^ I'm glad it was updated so soon after I read the first few chapters. I hate long waits *hint hint* ~_^

Looking forward to the next chapter,
your new and very devoted fan of this story ^^

Alien: o.O ohh...and the plot grows..update soon. I cant wait to see what you have in store for us. ^^

yes you can call me kiki, I don't mind XD

ok this was a good chapter full of plot points! good work. I loved how you introduced Al at the end there very cool, I was all like a mafia hit already?!! haha great XD

a few things... 'of' versus 'off'. 'off' - to pick up an item OFF the table. 'of' - Hohenheim OF light...watch out for this, I make the same boo-boo all the time, or used to. I can catch it pretty good now...most times XS. next... ”You son of a bastard! You and your fuckers almost had me killed last night!” usually the saying is 'You son of a bitch' but it could be that you meant to say bastard, it just doesn't roll off the tongue as well. third: 'Winry turned and glared at him for the longest time, making Ed squirrel in his seat.' instead of 'squirrel' I think you mean 'squirm' as in shifting all around in anxeity. *sigh* I'm sorry to pick so much...but...fourth: ”Ouh yeah?”... what's with the 'ouh' should be just 'oh'

I give you premission to hit me over the head if anything I've said offends XS

kiki

Yay! ALLLL! I am so glad to see Al show up! It seems important for him to be involved in his brother's life.

Alien: Aww, poor Roy, so close yet so far away..darn ed for being so stubban. Update soon so i can read more

Ha ha ha, loved this chapter. It's interesting, great so far. Keep it up, and I hope you update soon! Just be careful when typing, you called Ed a she on more than one occasion. Just pointing it out, but I still got what you meant. Woot, update, hurry! :3

yay! I love how fast your updating for this XD

I really enjoyed that action bits. they were well thought out and explained, with no confusion as to who was doing what when/where.

kiki

Alien: aww..my Roy got shot. *cries and then grabs Winry's wrench to clonk Roy on head for getting hurt.* Oh well, *huggles Ed after damaging Roy* oh and I know this probably not important but this part kinda freaked me and made me crack up. "With ~~her~~ free arm, Ed elbowed the other man in the gut..." ummm...when did eddie become a girl? HEY WHERE IS MY ED?!! *turns to see Ed nursing Roy's wrench abused self.* Oh yeah update soon please.

Yay For street Racing Ed and Roy! I lived it! Please update this soon. i am very sorry that this reveiw is not longer nor more constructive, but all I can really say beside the afore mentioned, is that your English is very good for someone who has never had a class, and that I especialy loved the last chapter and the one before it. Please please have the next chapter out soon?

I only have two things to say;

What Happened to Al?,

Other than that,

keep up the good work!
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