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July 31, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This story gets better with every update. I love it! Poor Radditz and Gohan... Who smashed the dragon radar????? Ahhh!
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July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This is still one of my favorites here lately. I can't to read more
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July 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Unusual story, very good, can't wait for more!
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July 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful, as always! I absolutly love this and look forward to reading it whenever updates happen!
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July 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
You had me....Until you started talking about piercings.
Perhaps you should do a little more research before you begin delving in to that sort of thing, rather than relying on your own imagination.
I will get you started, You were incorrect, nipples are the most painful piercings for males. The tongue, if done CORRECTLY, should be nearly painless. It is in fatc probably the least painful piercing, along teh lines of lobes and the septum.
And which genital piercing was it? An Ampallang, a P.A, an Apadravia?
Try some specifics, in stead of just skimming over and hoping nobody notices.
It was a pity, because you are a very good writer and the story had a sexy beginning.
Perhaps you should do a little more research before you begin delving in to that sort of thing, rather than relying on your own imagination.
I will get you started, You were incorrect, nipples are the most painful piercings for males. The tongue, if done CORRECTLY, should be nearly painless. It is in fatc probably the least painful piercing, along teh lines of lobes and the septum.
And which genital piercing was it? An Ampallang, a P.A, an Apadravia?
Try some specifics, in stead of just skimming over and hoping nobody notices.
It was a pity, because you are a very good writer and the story had a sexy beginning.
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July 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Enslavement_Thesis,
I do not know why I let your review bug me.
I think it may have been the way you approached with your feedback. Backing me into the proverbial corner with your statistics and facts on such a public forum made me feel extremely defensive. Leaving your email address with an offer for suggestions and/or guidance in your field of experience may have been a better way to approach the issue, than say, belittling my ‘imagination’.
I am actually very open to suggestions when given in a constructive way rather than having you publicly bash my lack of knowledge in a specific area.
The point of my story was not to delve into the world of piercings, but to show my creative take on a fictional world. If you have an issue with my story simply because I did not give an in-depth explanation about the piercings, then I fear you have far worse problems than my lack of knowledge in that arena.
However, you could to take a moment, slow down, and enjoy a bit of fanfiction, for what it is: fiction.
*quote from chapter 2, Gohan’s POV* (the bold and italics are for emphasis, and not actually bold or italic fonts in the story)
Rose turned back to him, and started applying something wet and cool to the areas of skin Kakarott had instructed were to be pierced, with the exception of his tongue.
We can discuss this in more detail (than my vague description) in a less public forum, if you care to email me at:
Bynp ‘at’ Comcast ‘dot’ net ( @ and . )
We all have our ‘thing’ we are rather knowledgeable of. It seems that piercing, after having read your profile, would be yours. :)
Not ranting mad any more,
Macha
I do not know why I let your review bug me.
I think it may have been the way you approached with your feedback. Backing me into the proverbial corner with your statistics and facts on such a public forum made me feel extremely defensive. Leaving your email address with an offer for suggestions and/or guidance in your field of experience may have been a better way to approach the issue, than say, belittling my ‘imagination’.
I am actually very open to suggestions when given in a constructive way rather than having you publicly bash my lack of knowledge in a specific area.
The point of my story was not to delve into the world of piercings, but to show my creative take on a fictional world. If you have an issue with my story simply because I did not give an in-depth explanation about the piercings, then I fear you have far worse problems than my lack of knowledge in that arena.
However, you could to take a moment, slow down, and enjoy a bit of fanfiction, for what it is: fiction.
*quote from chapter 2, Gohan’s POV* (the bold and italics are for emphasis, and not actually bold or italic fonts in the story)
Rose turned back to him, and started applying something wet and cool to the areas of skin Kakarott had instructed were to be pierced, with the exception of his tongue.
We can discuss this in more detail (than my vague description) in a less public forum, if you care to email me at:
Bynp ‘at’ Comcast ‘dot’ net ( @ and . )
We all have our ‘thing’ we are rather knowledgeable of. It seems that piercing, after having read your profile, would be yours. :)
Not ranting mad any more,
Macha
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July 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Having read what I have read, and yes I followed the cookie trail, I now see why you are getting death threats if you end where you seem to be ending it!XDDD I'm still looking forward to the next chapters with breathless anticipation!
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July 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I haven't read any Dragonball fiction for some time now since the plots seemed to be revolving around the same thing over and over again. I'd come back for a few authors every few months and re-read some old stories, but there was nothing all that new to take a look at, but then I looked at this. WOW! No, really, it's as an original plot as I've seen in a long time and it's fantastic. I've been reading this thing for the last few hours and I am nothing but impressed. I don't know if you do updates but if you do I'd love one, or a site where I can get them.
I don't care about the whole incest thing, since the DBZ realm is full of them, and I was completely surprised at the twist at the beginning. I almost don't want Gohan to come back! Hell, I want Goku, Vegeta, Trunks and Goten to go there! LOL Damn! i like your characterizations of Radditz and Bardock too. I can't wait to see how the story develops!
Email: gummibear_thief@yahoo.com
I don't care about the whole incest thing, since the DBZ realm is full of them, and I was completely surprised at the twist at the beginning. I almost don't want Gohan to come back! Hell, I want Goku, Vegeta, Trunks and Goten to go there! LOL Damn! i like your characterizations of Radditz and Bardock too. I can't wait to see how the story develops!
Email: gummibear_thief@yahoo.com
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July 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i was so excited to see this updates, it gets more and more intersting as it goes!!
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July 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Whoo! An update! And a pretty intense one at that. My guess to who destroyed the radar would be Vegeta. I can't wait to see the next update! X) Keep up the great work!