rate_review Reviews

hmn, looks like you did some editing on this one, *snerks* I hope my encouragement wasn't too harsh. I find I often come across as overly critical, though that is usually not my intent.

I find Vegeta too be a tad out of character, but again, we're all guilty of that. I've used tickling in one of my fics too, and it actually led me, IRL, into the long-term relationship I have now. It's both aggressive and playful, and is often an excellent form of foreplay.

Saw one typo/misspelling, which means that if there were others I was certainly engaged enough by the story to overlook them. Good work.

nice. i like it. please update soon!

this story compelled me to actually make an account, just so i could review your wonderful story. i loved it! i can't wait for an update <3

after my little rant from earlier, how could I not review? *snerks*

I can see how much work you've put into this, and how much time. There are some mistakes, mostly spelling, that are quite common and make me wonder if you have a beta reader. Many think a beta is there to praise the work, but truthfully, a good beta needs a critical eye, and must make suggestions and ask questions.

your story concept is good, though it feels a little bit like you're in a hurry to describe and move on to the next scene. I do it all the time *snerks*. But going back over things, one can see to give insight into the characters, thought and reason behind actions and motivations. This fic lacks that a little, relax and take your time, enjoy your own work and others are bound to.

"Vegeta’s voice shattered the silence like a fat woman’s voice shattered glass." This line made me lol, and I do love good dialogue. Your characterizations are fairly IC, though of course unless anyone but Toriyama is writing it, it is by definition OOC. Don't let that bother you, and don't let others tell you where to take things.

For me, a fic writes itself, I am merely the typist for the muse in my head. She dictates where the story goes. Don't try to force it, and don't let the little details distract you, you can always come back and work on it more.

I like it. *nodnods* I hope you are inspired to more soon.

c_v

ooh.. you had better to update and you had better to do it soon or I'll find you and make you type while I stand behind you with a whip in my hand! I can't wait for next chapter!

great chapter! poor goku! please update soon!

Yay, yet another great story for me to read!! Hope to see more of this soon. Can't wait until you get to the VegetaxGoku goodies, but plot is good.

WOW!...for lack of a better word. This story is extremely well written...I was almost in tears when Goku just let all the pent-up agony he was feeling go...and right in front of Vegeta! U.U I just wanted to jump in the story and cuddle Goku and tell him that everything will be alright(It will be won't it?). Keep up the good work!! I'm looking forward to chapter 3!

Great start, I can't wait to see where this is going. :3 Update soon.

great chapter! poor goku! thats horrible! you should go to vegeta, goku! please update soon!