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for The First

by enslavementthesis

person Love to be Anon
schedule September 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Sweet story. Great potential. I think you should continue just because it is Gohan and Piccolo and how many stories are there of them? like almost none compared to Goku and Vegeta...so onwards with the fluff and smut. :)
person mgpem
schedule September 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
great! little bumpy in the first paragraph, but after that the writing started flowing. And hey, I hope you continue this, I want to know how their relationship develops.
person Aisuru
schedule September 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Please make another one! That was incredible!!!!
person Susie Q
schedule September 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Excellent! I think you've captured Picollo beautifully.

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