rate_review Reviews

Well that explains a few things! No wonder Ed ran from the battlefield like he did! With Roy home recuperating(?) from his injury and Ed being pregnant, it's easy to understand Ed's actions now. It wasn't legal but I'da probably done the same thing myself, consequences be damned! :) When Ed said, "I almost lost the father of our kids", does that mean he's carrying twins? *gets all excited for the little RoyEd babies!* :D I'm also pleased that Maes is here. I like him! Odd that Maes would be put in command of Roy's battalion like this since he's not a battle hardened soldier. *sigh* Hakuro musta just been being an ass to do something like this. It should be Hakuro's cowardly ass out there leading men into battle not Maes! grr! The old bastard's probably tickled pink Roy's been injured. jerk. Anyhoo, can't wait to read more!
Update soon!
Koneko =^.^=

DDDDUUUUDDDDEEEEE!!!! update REALLY fast PLEASE!!!!!

O.O That was sooooo cute!!! OMG! You better not get a writers block again! UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!!

There are two things about the story so far that are bothering me. 1 - Why isn't Roy out there involved in the fighting along with Ed? Roy is a high-ranking military officer and a state alchemist. He should be fighting this war just like Ed is. Why isn't Roy leading men into the fray like Ed is? Actually, since Roy is of higher rank than Ed and Ed's commanding officer, Roy should, in fact, be leading Ed and his men into battle. 2 - Why did you make Ed go AWOL? Ed wouldn't just arbitrarily leave like this. "I’m leaving the First Lieutenant in charge because I have to take leave." O_o? No, I'm sorry, but that's just not how it's done. There are procedures and protocols to be followed. Ed would have to request leave from his commanding officer before he could leave. You can't just up and go whenever you want - especially in the middle of a battle! Ed may hate the military but he takes his obligations seriously. Ed is going to get into a lot of trouble once it is discovered he abandoned his post and left his men to fend for themselves. His "one opportune moment to escape" may cost him greatly. hmm. Ed's one saving grace may be that since Roy is his commanding officer, Roy may be able to pull strings and save Ed from demotion and disgrace.

Roy and Ed are just wonderful together!! They are my OTP! ^_^ I'm really curious to know what was bothering Ed so much that he damn near bled to death dragging himself home from the front lines! The love of his cherished husband was a powerful motivator but there must be something else going on to make Ed do what he did.
Update soon!
Koneko =^.^=

its alittle short but good. Roy and Ed are sooooo CUTE!!!! update soon!

This is a good story...the pace is a bit fast...but its a great story...I can't believe Ed was dumb enough to get shot! I mean Hello! your suppose to duck! Update soon please!!!

Not bad! Not bad at all! It's a bit awkwardly worded in a few spots (i.e. "He then set the glass on the table as well before getting up. He guided himself to the porch to look at the many stars that shown their beauty tonight." I think, "He then set the glass on the table before he stood and guided himself to the porch to look at the many stars that shown their beauty tonight.", might work better. Also, "All of his hair still in contact and jet black. Not one single grey hair. He bent his head once more, his bangs covering his eyes, giving them a darker look.", could be improved if it was worded, "All of his hair still intact and jet black, not one single grey hair. He bent his head down once more, his bangs covering his eyes, giving them a darker look.". Just a suggestion.) but other than that I think you're off to a great start! It's nothing a good beta couldn't fix. :)
Please continue!
Koneko =^.^=