rate_review Reviews

I'm caught up to the latest chapter. I thought this might happen to Goten. In fact I think he needed it. He tended to objectify his feelings, instincts and the basic parts of himself. As a reader, I feel that his recent actions will eventually help him understand Trunks point of view.

I look forward to your next update! :)

I agree with nana666--i was soo excited to see a Trunks x Goten story. They're my absolute favorite :) And you are a great writer. I can't help but get lost in the story. But you nearly killed me with Chapter 11! I think a little piece of me died inside when Goten hooked up with someone else! But I see where you're going with it. And in truth, life doesn't usually work out perfectly, at least not the first time around. But god, that hurt to read! Haha, at least you know you're invoking some strong emotions. Can't waaaiitt for the promised happy ending!

I really enjoyed this chapter, even if I still don't trust Shinji. I guess Goten and I have a lot in common there. ;) I hope that Goten will be able to resolve some of his issues with Trunks soon!

Loving your story! Please get these two into the sheets and then some. Please update soon. :)

This story is awesome.I love the way you write Goten. He seem more serious and real.
I can't way to see what happen next.(^_^)

First of all, WOOHOO for Goten! I'm glad he quit that hellhole job because no one deserves to be stuck in some deadend job, wasting their life away. I'm glad he got enough backbone to keep with his decision. Sometimes when people try to persuade me to keep doing something, I give in because I'm a people pleaser :P I'm glad Goten isn't like that!

Second, Trunks was a jerk once again. I mean, he shouldn't have said those awful things, drunk or not. Just because Goten had a hard time getting through school doesn't mean he's doomed to be a loser or anything like that. At least he figured it out later and was more supportive. I just might have walked away in frustration if he hadn't.

Also, the image of Goten flipping that man off and then blasting his business is such a hilarious one. I laughed for about a minute at the thought and then couldn't stop giggling for awhile afterward.

It was kinda sad how Trunks was worried Goten was going to leave him behind, become some great teacher and forget all about his best friend. I doubt Goten would EVER do that. Especially not since he's like in love with him. Wooboy, I wonder how this is gonna all turn out. This could go so many different ways but I'm crossing my fingers for a happy ending.

Anyway, great chapter!

Love always,

Tabz.

Wonderful storry I read up to the latest chapter. Great job!!!

It is interesting to see the different perspectives. Goten understands some thing thatTrunks does not, and vice versa. I think that this original character will help Goten, despite his bold behaviour an tactless advances.

I look forward to more. :)

Wow, Trunks is such a fuckin...man I don't even know the word for it. See he even got me swearing and I don't swear too often. Blaragha. Why is he always insulting Goten like that? Calling him an idiot and all that. Ugh. Some friend, really needs to clean up that attitude. But it was sweet the way he wanted to take care of Goten when Goten broke the bottle and cut his hand up like that. At least he does care, he just needs to watch his mouth more.

For some reason, the thought of Vegeta busting into Trunks' room while he's having sex with some girl was just the most hilarious thought. Any other father would have been embarrassing, but with VEGETA? Oh man, I wouldn't have to worry about dying of embarrassment because I'm pretty sure he'd kill me anyway. Lol.

Anyway, Goten still seems confused as hell but we'll see where this goes!

...

*slaps Trunks*

Sorry I just had to do it ^^ Good chapter.

Love always,

Tabz.

I don't really like this pairing but I thought I'd read your story because you've always been such a good reviewer to mine. I was just wondering if I'm the only DBZ yaoi fan that does NOT see this pairing happening? :P Haha, anyway not to get into that or anything ^^ I like the story I like how it's written. The beginning was a tad hard to follow and sometimes you've got these block-like paragraphs that I can't really read through very well but other than that I think it's written really well.

But then again this is the first chapter and I have no idea if you've changed anything about your style in the rest of the story.

Anyway, the way love was describe in the first part of the chapter was really disturbing, but in an interesting way. It's true though...love really isn't flowers and chocolates and sex. Sure, that might be something you COULD do with someone you love but it doesn't make love. Love is more something very frightening and painful. I don't think love has a definition though.

The conversation between Trunks and Goten really opened up the feelings Goten has for the readers. You can tell he's just so frustrated with Trunks but really has this special place in his heart for him. I always wondered if their social status would get in the way of their relationship, friendship or otherwise. Trunks is rich, Goten's kinda like a farm boy almost. It's like the classic rich boy falls in love with poor girl(boy) story. I love it.

As for the grammar aspect of the story, I noticed occasionally you used the word "then" where "than" should've been and that you don't put commas before names of people being addressed. Like this:

"Hi, Goten."

"Where are you going, Trunks?"

Yeah, like that. Just some examples ^^ Then again you might've already been told this. Anyway just some helpful advice. Great first chapter!

Love always,

Talitha.

A little angsty? Holy cow, that was just about the angstiest thing I've ever read O.O Okay, maybe not but wow the angst...I love it. This story really has this dark tone to it and it's rather surprising. When I read the summary I thought it was going to be a cute little growing up story between friends...I was wrong :P

I never suspected Trunks to be one to go to like bars and have sex with random women and get drunk off his ass. But I guess if anyone in DBZ was going to do it, it'd probably be him :P

I don't blame Goten for being so pissed at Trunks, I mean what the hell? Why would you invite your best friend to come and watch you sit, get drunk and have some whore hang all over you? Pathetic.

Anyway, this was a very, VERY descriptive chapter. That is a good thing in some cases but to me I'm just like wow I need some dialogue. I've always preferred when talking is what pushed the chapter instead of paragraphs and paragraphs of description and all that. Not to say that it's bad or anything, but sometimes whole chapters with no talking make my brain go boom ^^ Everyone's got different styles and there's nothing wrong with it.

As for grammar...

There was an instant or two when "your" should've = "you're".

Lovely chapter. It's getting dramatic now! ^^

Love always,

Talitha.