rate_review Reviews

You need to tear this fic down and re-write it completely. Work on in-depth characterization, making your words flow better, and embellishing the scenes. It has potential, it really does...It also comes across as a bit juvenile..

i really love this story,exceept when she gived her virginity to that bastard!
well,i like vegeta,so it kinda piss me off a bit.
the story is cool by the way.

at first i was happy she found Gastro
now i want to get out a machine gun and kill her ass!
conniving little twit!

Oh shit! What a twist! Can't wait to see what happens to Sarai. I hope she's with Gastro

this is lookin to be a dark fic. very different.. i like the other person point of view. i dont get why gastro is soo.. loving for sayian?? it seems weird.. but its a sure twist! thats for sure.. keep it going, its lookin to be a very addicting fic. i wonder what vegeta is think though... seems like he has a hidden agenda or something. plus his guards seem so one sided.. but now its soo confusing.. need more clarification is gastro going against his superior.. wow!! this story is rockin thou, so please for my sanity.. WRITE MORE!!!

thanks.