rate_review Reviews

Seriously, I created an account just to review. Normally I hate 1st person POV but you just take the cake. I love this piece of work!! The tone, the quirky humor, the writing style, even the way Gohan and gang are depicted. It's fantastic and I cannot wait to see it updated. I saw some veery minor errors, like your instead of you're, but nothing that detracts, just wanted to say. Thank you so very much for sharing your creative work! Oh, and the writing style change is nice. It works just as well as the first couple of chapters. Please update soon!

At least they are making a little progress. Awaiting the next chapter!!

Okay - maybe Piccolo can help Gohan get out of his funk. And I am hoping Gohan will be able to break down Piccolo's 'inaction' vow.


:)

Oh thank goodness!!! I saw the 'Fin' at the bottom of chapter three and made an assumption you had finished the story. I am sooooooooooo happy to see how wrong I was. :)

I continue to appreciate this story, despite the EEEEWWWWW of chapter four. I like your 'Gohan' voice. He knows he's got faults and at least to himself he doesn't mind recognizing them with a bit of humor. :D

Poor, poor Mr. Piccolo...:P

I like this story, it's very different =) Seems wonderfully in character for both Gohan and Piccolo... I'm kind of not sure on Videl, but the truth is you don't learn too much about her in the books or the series, and she can have changed much over the years. So that's all fine with me. Besides, we don't care about her or we'd read a het story ;)

O.o You can't seriously be ending the story there....

Okay, fine, be that way.

Despite my disappointment in the fact this is waaaaaaaay too short the writing style is great.

I liked the angst, I liked the first person POV of Gohan's everyday mundane life. I liked the descriptions. I like your characterization of Piccolo. I liked how you kept what happened in the shower between Gohan and Videl vague.

Interesting first chapter. Hurry with the next chapter!!