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February 26, 2014 at 12:00 AM
Last update was in 2009?! Holy cow! I hope that doesn't mean this fic is dead and will never be finished 'cause I really love this fic and I want to see what happens next. Maybe if you don't like how it's going give it a reboot or something? Just please don't let this one die and be forgotten :(
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October 1, 2011 at 12:00 AM
God's sweety I have been waiting a god awful LONG time for this one, I think I must had read it about well lets see ummmmmmm 50 times over the span of two and a half years!!! I've been waiting and anxious for what is going on, who, and how this story will progress.
- and yeah thanks for pointing out my mistakes, I was very excited to write, and as you can tell V.W has been working on her own for quite some time T.T my Beta is gone T.T, I'm going to be fixing them up soon.
- and yeah thanks for pointing out my mistakes, I was very excited to write, and as you can tell V.W has been working on her own for quite some time T.T my Beta is gone T.T, I'm going to be fixing them up soon.
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October 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Sorry I haven't reviewed, PC problems again. If this keeps up I'm going to get a cheap laptop as a spare!
Poor Vegeta, as if he wasn't suffering enough with the transformation, then these thugs set upon him :( Really liked the way Kakarot dealt with Sinrai, pity he didn't get Muri too, maybe Bardock will. I wonder who the third was and how he wasn't there when they arrived, was it someone we know? I'm still a little suspicious of Bardock, but Vegeta would have recognized his voice if it was him I suppose.
Hope Kakarot doesn't let him out of his sight from now on, and the transformation eases up on Vegeta, he's been through a lot.
Poor Vegeta, as if he wasn't suffering enough with the transformation, then these thugs set upon him :( Really liked the way Kakarot dealt with Sinrai, pity he didn't get Muri too, maybe Bardock will. I wonder who the third was and how he wasn't there when they arrived, was it someone we know? I'm still a little suspicious of Bardock, but Vegeta would have recognized his voice if it was him I suppose.
Hope Kakarot doesn't let him out of his sight from now on, and the transformation eases up on Vegeta, he's been through a lot.
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June 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful chapter. The only tiny problem I have with this fic over all but I can mostly look over it as it's not all that problematic is how much Goku cries. I just always feel weird to read about him crying when he never did no matter what happened in the show ^^;
I have faith that you will figure something out for the mpreg ^_^
If you have to, just push the pregnancy closer to the end of the story, it helps. XD
I have faith that you will figure something out for the mpreg ^_^
If you have to, just push the pregnancy closer to the end of the story, it helps. XD
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June 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Question. Quick note.
Kakarott's tail is light brown, as in chapter 5...
or golden, as in 11?
Or both?
I can understand how there would be a color shift amongst standard and ascended states..
but he was Super Saiyan in 5...
which I'd think would be golden as opposed to light brown.
And I don't believe he is ascended in 11.. no evidence suggests that, and I think there may even be some to the contrary.. if not, it would stand to reason that he shouldn't be wasting his precious power on an unnecessary transformation when both he and Vegeta need his energy so badly.. reason for careful conservation.
Confused.
Kakarott's tail is light brown, as in chapter 5...
or golden, as in 11?
Or both?
I can understand how there would be a color shift amongst standard and ascended states..
but he was Super Saiyan in 5...
which I'd think would be golden as opposed to light brown.
And I don't believe he is ascended in 11.. no evidence suggests that, and I think there may even be some to the contrary.. if not, it would stand to reason that he shouldn't be wasting his precious power on an unnecessary transformation when both he and Vegeta need his energy so badly.. reason for careful conservation.
Confused.
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June 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
#12
I do so love this entire chapter..
the entire thing.
You managed to make the pain so.. tangibly excruciating, and Kakarott's reassuring presence so powerful. Fitting.
I was glad to see how nicely you kept them both in character here.. through the way that Vegeta handles the agony, wanting Kakarott to use his energy on matters he considers more important, more constructive and immediate, since the ki has only a nominal effect.
(Obviously, there is no need to establish who supplies the brains amongst these two.)
And then, Kakarott... eager to selflessly give until he has nothing else, spending all of his time at Vegeta's side, holding his hand while apparently pretending that he isn't fucking King.. (..this is me bitching, but not complaining. There *is* a difference. I am happy he is where he chooses to be.. he should be nowhere else, though it may seem as if I think otherwise.)
lucky thing that Bardock is around.
Kakarott does have a tendency to be far too soft.. there will be those who disagree with me here, but..
needless to say..
I don't care.
He is.
Period.
In cannon, he was detrimentally lenient on Gohan during their training..
not to mention ridiculously optimistic about the boy's capabilities later on, as the whelp had been too busy studying and dating when he SHOULD HAVE BEEN training in order to make himself SOMEWHAT useful during the next, inevitable crisis.
-huffs irritably-
Yes.. Gohan *did* attain an impressive level following the aforementioned training.. and while his brat was fucking around, the clown was admittedly having the time of his life.. while dead. He was deceased.. that does not matter, I will excoriate him for it regardless. I doubt that Gohan would have fared much better in his training were Kakarott alive, given the fool's *shining example* of responsibility...
-fumes silently for long moments, visibly relaxes-
Tch. Let's not start me on that, shall we?
The point is, you keep Kakarott's essence here.. his continuation of feeding Vegeta his blood, his acceptance of Vegeta's wish not to receive his ki..
it is NOT the best thing for his love, will not help him get better.
But, he does it anyway, because that is just how he fucking is!!!
(Do I give the wrong impression with this? I am crazy about him.)
It takes his father to step in and put things into perspective for him,
to force him to do what is right as opposed to what is easy to increase the odds of the transformation's timely success.
All that translates to 'nice job.'
While I realize that Kakarott was being foolish here.. take for granted I don't stay mad about that for long. The bastard has a free pass it seems, and in the end, all I could think about was how romantic he is.
Beautiful.
Your occasional reminders of his tear-filled eyes, his stained cheeks, were lovely.. you capture him as feeling.. just so much. It was amazing.. the visual of his resting next to Vegeta, on his folded arms, always holding his love's hand.. -smiles-
The thought of him crying, what seems to be constantly.. certainly he is worried, torn between wanting to end his love's pain and knowing that to cause more is the only way.. it was upsetting and endearing, which is a positive comment.
Heh.. your random dream...
-shifts eyes-
hm.
Well..
I loved it. Terribly sexy, in my opinion.
Yes.. it may sound a bit odd.. but I make no apologies for it.
I enjoyed the symbolism between the crimson blood pooling around Vegeta, to the golden liquid the resulted from touching Kakarott.. who crawled to lick the surrounding mess. So. Fucking. Hot. Not to mention an indication of Kakarott as a purifying savior.. was this intended?
I am wondering if this dream does not indicate some level of psychic connection between them.. during the actual turning, Kakarott is repeating that certain phrase within his head, not out loud that I am aware of.. and then Vegeta encounters it in his dream. Is this something that Vegeta would be aware of otherwise, as part of a well-known mating ritual.. or is there a link between their minds?
Of course I was happy about the luminescent blue ki, the idea of Kakarott carrying Vegeta's soul with him where ever he goes.. but then he was gone, which would be a reason for Vegeta to panic.
Kakarott does finish Vegeta's thought for him here, his love beginning to ask him not to leave and knowing before the request was even finished. This could indicate the link between their consciousness.. but perhaps not. Given Vegeta's state of mind when he awoke, it would seem reasonable enough that he came to in fear of Kakarott's abandonment, as he had to get up from the bed to reach him... but if there was truly a connection, I would think he would have realized Vegeta's distress before then and been in bed to comfort him. Possibly the bond is incomplete?
Nicely noted about the far more tasteful and familiar clothing. We'll be having none of *that* particular foolishness. Hn. No way.
As said before, you are horribly consistent with Bardock, who is not afraid to be the stern voice of reason with his son when the young man needs some sense damn near knocked into that hopelessly gorgeous fucking skull of his. -eyeroll-
I liked how you had those two yelling at one particular juncture to get their point across,as opposed to simply struggling to be heard over Vegeta's cries. I could not say enough about how flawless their interaction is.. Kakarott's nature is entirely intact, stunningly beautiful.. and Bardock is wholly necessary to keep him grounded.
Lovely, lovely.
Did I mention.. that you *really*.. made the transformation..fucking *suck*?
Heh. -smirks-
Perfect.
*I know Kakarot is trying to help me, but now, it just seems pointless. I don’t want him to waste his time and energy on me. He’s a King for God sakes! He has other duties to tend to! (You managed to capture Vegeta's strong sense of responsibility, even when it is not his own.)
*I look down at your sleeping form. Your crystal trails of sorrow have been on your flushed cheeks for quite some time. I also can’t recall you ever leaving my side. Your head has rested where it always has, by my side on your folded arms, your hand always holding mine, but I can never feel it. I want to reach out and stroke you soft, unruly hair, but the pain in my body will not allow it.
*You look at me with those same tear filled eyes as you always have and your luscious lips start moving, but I can’t tell what your saying. Your beautiful eyes are big with fear and shock, I don’t know why and I don’t care. I just want to stare into your hypnotizing orbs until I go blind, but I would love to touch your unruly locks one last time before I lose all feeling in my body, if it hasn’t already.
*No! I will not let him waste his energy on something so pointless! All the ki does is numb the pain a bit. It does nothing! He doesn’t need to waste it on something like me!
*His blood is the only thing I believe will get me through this.
*Then again, maybe not. I’m not exactly going by the rules here. (It does seem as if there is something to the idea that his transformation is progressing quicker than expected.. perhaps that is the reason for so much panic? That his recovery rate is astoundingly quick, though it makes for a ridiculous amount of pain? And if this is true, what is the explanation for such a phenomenon? The significance? I am wondering about this.. especially given Haru's reaction to his turning.. circumstances obviously different..but the guard's appeared seamless as opposed to this hell.)
*Kakarot’s talking to me again and I try focusing my hearing on his gentle voice. His beautiful tears stream down his face and I barely make out the words he says, “…please…make…this…all…ok…love…” I cry out again as another twist of hot-searing pain tears through my body. I writhe and arch as I tear the sheets apart. He rests his hand on my overly-heated forehead and his tears go down his chin and splash on my sweaty chest. I try focusing on his voice more, rather than the pain, “…Vegeta, try…down. Everything will…alright…trying…best. Please…there…” I can’t understand what you’re telling me! Your voice can’t carry through my cries of agony and I desperately need your guidance right now. (You portray both of their pain so entirely in this paragraph.)
*His light lust-filled voice whispers in my ear of the things that he’d love to do to me. (This nearly killed me, to imagine all the things he would be saying.. and in such a tone.. *fuck*.)
*I look up at my love to see if the same thing was happening to him and he was still standing proudly above me, giving me the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen. I had a hitch in breath at the sight. Then, he got down on his hands and knees and crawled over to me to lick the blood, which was pooling around me, off of the hard dusty ground. (Arousing, indeed.)
*There now, love. Now you will always be with me.” (This dream smells of death.. metaphorical, I hope. Rebirth, most likely?)
*All the muscles in my body are trying to get heated up and the blood is trying to get them working. (I was glad you put this here; even though I had surmised the reason for so much pain throughout the process, I wasn't sure how readily apparent the explanation would be. In this simple sentence, you nailed it.)
*Though, he can forget me ever wearing that ridiculous bright material that they call clothes. I rather stick with the ones I have already. They don’t stand out too much and I won’t look ridiculous. (HA! Yes. Brightly-colored nonsense. Offensive. Pfft.)
*“Damn. He’s strong for someone who has no energy or strength left in him.” I hear Bardock say as he lowered his ki. (And.. he is surprised *why*, exactly? -brow raise- The nerve! He expected anything less?! Insolent...-muttering-)
*I looked over at my beloved, who had freshly fallen tears. “Kakarot…s-stay…”
He immediately reacted to my words, “Yes, love, I’ll stay.” More tears streamed down his face as he leaned over to gently kiss my panting lips and head. “Everything will be alright, Vegeta. You’ll see. You’ll be better soon.” (The immediate reaction, the crystalline tears and gentle kisses... it's LOVE, I tell you!! LOVE!! -smirks in self-satisfaction-)
Well.
This review is later in coming than expected.
But, regardless..
-armfold, shifted glance-
Now.. I.. am waiting..on you.
#13 is next.
I do so love this entire chapter..
the entire thing.
You managed to make the pain so.. tangibly excruciating, and Kakarott's reassuring presence so powerful. Fitting.
I was glad to see how nicely you kept them both in character here.. through the way that Vegeta handles the agony, wanting Kakarott to use his energy on matters he considers more important, more constructive and immediate, since the ki has only a nominal effect.
(Obviously, there is no need to establish who supplies the brains amongst these two.)
And then, Kakarott... eager to selflessly give until he has nothing else, spending all of his time at Vegeta's side, holding his hand while apparently pretending that he isn't fucking King.. (..this is me bitching, but not complaining. There *is* a difference. I am happy he is where he chooses to be.. he should be nowhere else, though it may seem as if I think otherwise.)
lucky thing that Bardock is around.
Kakarott does have a tendency to be far too soft.. there will be those who disagree with me here, but..
needless to say..
I don't care.
He is.
Period.
In cannon, he was detrimentally lenient on Gohan during their training..
not to mention ridiculously optimistic about the boy's capabilities later on, as the whelp had been too busy studying and dating when he SHOULD HAVE BEEN training in order to make himself SOMEWHAT useful during the next, inevitable crisis.
-huffs irritably-
Yes.. Gohan *did* attain an impressive level following the aforementioned training.. and while his brat was fucking around, the clown was admittedly having the time of his life.. while dead. He was deceased.. that does not matter, I will excoriate him for it regardless. I doubt that Gohan would have fared much better in his training were Kakarott alive, given the fool's *shining example* of responsibility...
-fumes silently for long moments, visibly relaxes-
Tch. Let's not start me on that, shall we?
The point is, you keep Kakarott's essence here.. his continuation of feeding Vegeta his blood, his acceptance of Vegeta's wish not to receive his ki..
it is NOT the best thing for his love, will not help him get better.
But, he does it anyway, because that is just how he fucking is!!!
(Do I give the wrong impression with this? I am crazy about him.)
It takes his father to step in and put things into perspective for him,
to force him to do what is right as opposed to what is easy to increase the odds of the transformation's timely success.
All that translates to 'nice job.'
While I realize that Kakarott was being foolish here.. take for granted I don't stay mad about that for long. The bastard has a free pass it seems, and in the end, all I could think about was how romantic he is.
Beautiful.
Your occasional reminders of his tear-filled eyes, his stained cheeks, were lovely.. you capture him as feeling.. just so much. It was amazing.. the visual of his resting next to Vegeta, on his folded arms, always holding his love's hand.. -smiles-
The thought of him crying, what seems to be constantly.. certainly he is worried, torn between wanting to end his love's pain and knowing that to cause more is the only way.. it was upsetting and endearing, which is a positive comment.
Heh.. your random dream...
-shifts eyes-
hm.
Well..
I loved it. Terribly sexy, in my opinion.
Yes.. it may sound a bit odd.. but I make no apologies for it.
I enjoyed the symbolism between the crimson blood pooling around Vegeta, to the golden liquid the resulted from touching Kakarott.. who crawled to lick the surrounding mess. So. Fucking. Hot. Not to mention an indication of Kakarott as a purifying savior.. was this intended?
I am wondering if this dream does not indicate some level of psychic connection between them.. during the actual turning, Kakarott is repeating that certain phrase within his head, not out loud that I am aware of.. and then Vegeta encounters it in his dream. Is this something that Vegeta would be aware of otherwise, as part of a well-known mating ritual.. or is there a link between their minds?
Of course I was happy about the luminescent blue ki, the idea of Kakarott carrying Vegeta's soul with him where ever he goes.. but then he was gone, which would be a reason for Vegeta to panic.
Kakarott does finish Vegeta's thought for him here, his love beginning to ask him not to leave and knowing before the request was even finished. This could indicate the link between their consciousness.. but perhaps not. Given Vegeta's state of mind when he awoke, it would seem reasonable enough that he came to in fear of Kakarott's abandonment, as he had to get up from the bed to reach him... but if there was truly a connection, I would think he would have realized Vegeta's distress before then and been in bed to comfort him. Possibly the bond is incomplete?
Nicely noted about the far more tasteful and familiar clothing. We'll be having none of *that* particular foolishness. Hn. No way.
As said before, you are horribly consistent with Bardock, who is not afraid to be the stern voice of reason with his son when the young man needs some sense damn near knocked into that hopelessly gorgeous fucking skull of his. -eyeroll-
I liked how you had those two yelling at one particular juncture to get their point across,as opposed to simply struggling to be heard over Vegeta's cries. I could not say enough about how flawless their interaction is.. Kakarott's nature is entirely intact, stunningly beautiful.. and Bardock is wholly necessary to keep him grounded.
Lovely, lovely.
Did I mention.. that you *really*.. made the transformation..fucking *suck*?
Heh. -smirks-
Perfect.
*I know Kakarot is trying to help me, but now, it just seems pointless. I don’t want him to waste his time and energy on me. He’s a King for God sakes! He has other duties to tend to! (You managed to capture Vegeta's strong sense of responsibility, even when it is not his own.)
*I look down at your sleeping form. Your crystal trails of sorrow have been on your flushed cheeks for quite some time. I also can’t recall you ever leaving my side. Your head has rested where it always has, by my side on your folded arms, your hand always holding mine, but I can never feel it. I want to reach out and stroke you soft, unruly hair, but the pain in my body will not allow it.
*You look at me with those same tear filled eyes as you always have and your luscious lips start moving, but I can’t tell what your saying. Your beautiful eyes are big with fear and shock, I don’t know why and I don’t care. I just want to stare into your hypnotizing orbs until I go blind, but I would love to touch your unruly locks one last time before I lose all feeling in my body, if it hasn’t already.
*No! I will not let him waste his energy on something so pointless! All the ki does is numb the pain a bit. It does nothing! He doesn’t need to waste it on something like me!
*His blood is the only thing I believe will get me through this.
*Then again, maybe not. I’m not exactly going by the rules here. (It does seem as if there is something to the idea that his transformation is progressing quicker than expected.. perhaps that is the reason for so much panic? That his recovery rate is astoundingly quick, though it makes for a ridiculous amount of pain? And if this is true, what is the explanation for such a phenomenon? The significance? I am wondering about this.. especially given Haru's reaction to his turning.. circumstances obviously different..but the guard's appeared seamless as opposed to this hell.)
*Kakarot’s talking to me again and I try focusing my hearing on his gentle voice. His beautiful tears stream down his face and I barely make out the words he says, “…please…make…this…all…ok…love…” I cry out again as another twist of hot-searing pain tears through my body. I writhe and arch as I tear the sheets apart. He rests his hand on my overly-heated forehead and his tears go down his chin and splash on my sweaty chest. I try focusing on his voice more, rather than the pain, “…Vegeta, try…down. Everything will…alright…trying…best. Please…there…” I can’t understand what you’re telling me! Your voice can’t carry through my cries of agony and I desperately need your guidance right now. (You portray both of their pain so entirely in this paragraph.)
*His light lust-filled voice whispers in my ear of the things that he’d love to do to me. (This nearly killed me, to imagine all the things he would be saying.. and in such a tone.. *fuck*.)
*I look up at my love to see if the same thing was happening to him and he was still standing proudly above me, giving me the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen. I had a hitch in breath at the sight. Then, he got down on his hands and knees and crawled over to me to lick the blood, which was pooling around me, off of the hard dusty ground. (Arousing, indeed.)
*There now, love. Now you will always be with me.” (This dream smells of death.. metaphorical, I hope. Rebirth, most likely?)
*All the muscles in my body are trying to get heated up and the blood is trying to get them working. (I was glad you put this here; even though I had surmised the reason for so much pain throughout the process, I wasn't sure how readily apparent the explanation would be. In this simple sentence, you nailed it.)
*Though, he can forget me ever wearing that ridiculous bright material that they call clothes. I rather stick with the ones I have already. They don’t stand out too much and I won’t look ridiculous. (HA! Yes. Brightly-colored nonsense. Offensive. Pfft.)
*“Damn. He’s strong for someone who has no energy or strength left in him.” I hear Bardock say as he lowered his ki. (And.. he is surprised *why*, exactly? -brow raise- The nerve! He expected anything less?! Insolent...-muttering-)
*I looked over at my beloved, who had freshly fallen tears. “Kakarot…s-stay…”
He immediately reacted to my words, “Yes, love, I’ll stay.” More tears streamed down his face as he leaned over to gently kiss my panting lips and head. “Everything will be alright, Vegeta. You’ll see. You’ll be better soon.” (The immediate reaction, the crystalline tears and gentle kisses... it's LOVE, I tell you!! LOVE!! -smirks in self-satisfaction-)
Well.
This review is later in coming than expected.
But, regardless..
-armfold, shifted glance-
Now.. I.. am waiting..on you.
#13 is next.
schedule
June 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
#11
I love how protective Kakarott is in the beginning, standing between Vegeta and his father.. not to mention their strongest guards. It struck me as a bit comical for some reason.. I am not sure why.. it seems.. I think that Bardock being pissed is funny.
Hn.
I was a little surprised by they way he questioned his son, however, referring to Vegeta as the 'King of Shadows'.. yes, this is true.. and I can entirely see where he is coming from there.. but in full knowledge of the situation, he must not be thinking properly, upset by Kakarott's temporary and unexplained absence.. I would expect Bardock to realize immediately that something big was about to happen.
-shrugs- Fool.
His huffing and subsequent, quick calming(only to become excited about the turning and setting about the necessary preparations) is as consistent as ever with the pattern you have established for him.
Sound thinking on his part to keep the guards around, as opposed to calling attention to the King and his soon-to-be-mate of dubious origins by allowing them all dismissed.. he will obviously be a huge help to Kakarott in remaining as grounded as possible through the ordeal, and that makes him an invaluable character in the chapters to come.
Nice to know he is so excited. Hmph.
And through all this, Vegeta is standing with his arms crossed, looking bored, most likely near to tears, by the nonsense.
Nice twist that he's not given any consideration to how his men would react(a rare lapse, in my estimation, demonstrating his state of mind well).. assuming that Haru will take over(which I think is a sure bet), and especially since they are not aware he went willingly. Would that make a difference? Perhaps, perhaps not. That all depends on the loyalty of his men.. who Vegeta thinks are not fond of him.. and the disposition of Haru. Is he willing to let his King go, whether Vegeta is willing or not? When he finds out that Vegeta is where he wants to be, what will happen then? Curious, curious.
Ooh!! Haru is Kakarott's worst enemy now? How exciting...
And not a threat.. yet? -is further excited by possible epic foreshadowing-
Vegeta's sad appraisal of Kakarott's chambers gave an aspect of hard reality to the turning.. he has no idea how long he will be confined there, and in truth, neither does Kakarott. Accustomed as he is to being free(reasonably), this must be a sobering thought to him, though it doesn't detract him in the least.
The intimate act of Vegeta's turning was horribly lovely.. so romantic.
Then, it gets so angsty that I can barely stand it.. in a good way.
I love how Kakarott's moods range here, from tender and loving during the turning, to protective anger at the mention of his father's intended interrogation, to panic when it seems that things are going wrong.
Bardock's concern is a pleasant compliment here to the fear that Kakarott is feeling for his love.. obviously, the former King is far more well-versed than his son in such situations, and if he doesn't know what's going on.. we may be in for a bit of trouble. It's interesting to note how easily he seems to accept Vegeta.. I was not surprised by this, but glad. One could assume there would be some rancor between two such individuals, but to see it bypassed, Bardock seeming just as concerned about Vegeta's well-being as Kakarott) if only for the good of his son) is refreshing. The former King seems to be accepting his son's future mate with forgiving, open arms, so far.. which could explain Kakarott's gentle temperament within the parameters of the fic..as he was not an Earth-raised Saiyan here.. perhaps he had benefited from the influence of his father?
I enjoy your attention to detail, as always. Vegeta panicking as he struggles to breathe, reminding Kakarott that he had not done something so typically natural before.. that was very profound. And you managed to smooth it over perfectly with Kakarott's.. reassuring demonstration and assistance. Beautiful.
SIX FUCKING WEEKS?!! OHFORFUCKSSAKE!! I JUST ABOUT *DIED* WHEN I SAW THAT!!
It will make for some good angst.. Vegeta is entirely in his love's hands now, totally helpless.. and Kakarott certainly has a lot to deal with.. his mate's rocky transformation, and a pending attack of pissed off Shadows led by his new worst enemy... hmmm...
delicious.
That being said, Kakarott does mention at the end that caring for Vegeta is the only use for his energy now.. I would hope he does not blindly focus so much on his mate that he disregards the severity of the conflict which their union has most likely caused. He will be no good to Vegeta if he is dead.
Not that I think that would happen... -huge, pleading eyes-
But his ways do concern me from time to time. (More about that in #12.)
Ah.. the disrobing here.. very sexy.
And any other little comments will be saved for the quotes, including ecstatic mention of my(most likely) favorite gesture in #11.
*So, no one is allowed to touch him.” I growled out the last sentence as I looked over the twenty guards that stood before me.
*I relaxed my protective pose a little more and turned my head to see how my beloved was doing. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a look of boredom on his precious face. I smirked.
*He walked to my side and I wrapped an arm around him to keep him there.
*I tensed at his loyal guard’s name, whom I just made as my worst enemy. Haru. I’m going to have to remember that name.
Vegeta looked up at me when I didn’t say anything. “Kakarot, it’s alright. Haru’s not a threat, at least, not yet.” He ended in a worried tone. I hugged him to me tighter.
*He suckled greedily as if he couldn’t live without it, and in truth, he can’t. I smiled at this.
(I *adore* this.)
*I drank him slowly because I knew this was the only chance I’d get to taste him like this. I’m the only one to drink him. He’s been saving his blood for me and I’m relishing in it completely.(I loved the entire transformation; take that for granted. I had a question about this.. does Kakarott mean that he is the only one to ever drink Vegeta in *this* way? I am wondering if I have missed something or there is some significance to this. Not that the lovers would have had any reason to converse about the subject necessarily.. and we are not going to count Vegeta's father, as that was non-consensual.. but Vegeta did turn Haru.. and that did constitute Haru drinking of him. Yes, from his forearm, and not his neck.. not quite as intimate, no.. but it does not strike me that Vegeta would turn anyone else for some reason. So.. is this true based on a technicality, or a statement made by Kakarott in error, because he was ignorant? The first I will easily accept.. the second will most likely result in an unhappy King of Lights when he discovers the truth. No.. I do not think he would be angry at Vegeta.. I do think it would make him dislike Haru even more.)
*“Wait. Back up. You were going to interrogate him? After I said that no one was going to touch him?” Anger was built up in each word as I said them. (Odd.. the more possessive Kakarott becomes, the happier I am.)
*“You know…your panic…isn’t…exactly helping!!” He tried yelling at us in between pants.
*“How…is this…okay, Kakarot? I’m…not…okay!!” My love panted back at me. (I'll keep telling you about oustanding in character.. this is very Fusion Reborn, although not exactly the same.)
*He took a couple more breaths and then his breath hitched and started panting again. “I…can’t do it! I’ve…never…done this…before! I don’t…know…what to do!” he panicked more.
*I moved behind him and lifted him up so his back rested against my chest. “Now, breathe in and out. Feel my chest. You can do it.” I breathed in his ear.
*“Kakarot. As soon as I…get my strength back, I’m going to…kick your ass.” (-smirks hugely-)
*“Shh…I’m right here. It’s ok.” I stroked his hair and kissed his temple.
*“Also…” Everyone stopped. “I don’t want anyone to know that he’s in here. If I find out that anyone else knows besides everyone who is in this room, I will personally enjoy making your lives so miserable that you’ll probably wish you could join the Shadows instead.” I ended my threat with a death glare and a growl.
“Alright, alright. We get the warning.” Father answered my threat casually, and then walked over to the guards and whispered, “and for God sakes, do what he says.” I heard it anyways. A few of them swallowed loudly while others nodded and left the room quickly. (This was totally sexy Kakarott at his best.. and I loved Bardock's reaction. 'Yeah, yeah, whatever.. fucking do what he says or die!!' Oh... -snickers- ..priceless!)
*He looked at me with a glazy look to his beautiful black depths. “I’m…thirsty.” He sounded so weak. Doubt suddenly hit me. I hope I’m doing this right. I’ll never forgive myself if I let him die.
*I looked back at my love’s face, and then looked at the rest of his body. I covered his lower half with a sheet as the guard came in.
*Wow, it’s rare that someone shows that much respect to me anymore. Usually everyone is so loyal to only my father. (This worries me a bit.. is this because they are aware that Bardock is responsible for the decisions in a larger sense, or because of the rumor of Kakarott's love for Vegeta? Or both?)
*This is the only use for my energy now. I have to save it for him so he can make it through this okay. (Troublesome, but sweet.)
*I held him in my arms until I knew he was asleep and I soon curled up closer against him and secured my golden tail around his warming thigh. (-purrs blissfully- ..and the gesture I mentioned earlier, the possessive and intimate curling of Kakarott's golden(amazing!!) tail around Vegeta's thigh... this made me... *happy*.)
I am still breathless over previously mentioned show of affection as I move to #12.
I love how protective Kakarott is in the beginning, standing between Vegeta and his father.. not to mention their strongest guards. It struck me as a bit comical for some reason.. I am not sure why.. it seems.. I think that Bardock being pissed is funny.
Hn.
I was a little surprised by they way he questioned his son, however, referring to Vegeta as the 'King of Shadows'.. yes, this is true.. and I can entirely see where he is coming from there.. but in full knowledge of the situation, he must not be thinking properly, upset by Kakarott's temporary and unexplained absence.. I would expect Bardock to realize immediately that something big was about to happen.
-shrugs- Fool.
His huffing and subsequent, quick calming(only to become excited about the turning and setting about the necessary preparations) is as consistent as ever with the pattern you have established for him.
Sound thinking on his part to keep the guards around, as opposed to calling attention to the King and his soon-to-be-mate of dubious origins by allowing them all dismissed.. he will obviously be a huge help to Kakarott in remaining as grounded as possible through the ordeal, and that makes him an invaluable character in the chapters to come.
Nice to know he is so excited. Hmph.
And through all this, Vegeta is standing with his arms crossed, looking bored, most likely near to tears, by the nonsense.
Nice twist that he's not given any consideration to how his men would react(a rare lapse, in my estimation, demonstrating his state of mind well).. assuming that Haru will take over(which I think is a sure bet), and especially since they are not aware he went willingly. Would that make a difference? Perhaps, perhaps not. That all depends on the loyalty of his men.. who Vegeta thinks are not fond of him.. and the disposition of Haru. Is he willing to let his King go, whether Vegeta is willing or not? When he finds out that Vegeta is where he wants to be, what will happen then? Curious, curious.
Ooh!! Haru is Kakarott's worst enemy now? How exciting...
And not a threat.. yet? -is further excited by possible epic foreshadowing-
Vegeta's sad appraisal of Kakarott's chambers gave an aspect of hard reality to the turning.. he has no idea how long he will be confined there, and in truth, neither does Kakarott. Accustomed as he is to being free(reasonably), this must be a sobering thought to him, though it doesn't detract him in the least.
The intimate act of Vegeta's turning was horribly lovely.. so romantic.
Then, it gets so angsty that I can barely stand it.. in a good way.
I love how Kakarott's moods range here, from tender and loving during the turning, to protective anger at the mention of his father's intended interrogation, to panic when it seems that things are going wrong.
Bardock's concern is a pleasant compliment here to the fear that Kakarott is feeling for his love.. obviously, the former King is far more well-versed than his son in such situations, and if he doesn't know what's going on.. we may be in for a bit of trouble. It's interesting to note how easily he seems to accept Vegeta.. I was not surprised by this, but glad. One could assume there would be some rancor between two such individuals, but to see it bypassed, Bardock seeming just as concerned about Vegeta's well-being as Kakarott) if only for the good of his son) is refreshing. The former King seems to be accepting his son's future mate with forgiving, open arms, so far.. which could explain Kakarott's gentle temperament within the parameters of the fic..as he was not an Earth-raised Saiyan here.. perhaps he had benefited from the influence of his father?
I enjoy your attention to detail, as always. Vegeta panicking as he struggles to breathe, reminding Kakarott that he had not done something so typically natural before.. that was very profound. And you managed to smooth it over perfectly with Kakarott's.. reassuring demonstration and assistance. Beautiful.
SIX FUCKING WEEKS?!! OHFORFUCKSSAKE!! I JUST ABOUT *DIED* WHEN I SAW THAT!!
It will make for some good angst.. Vegeta is entirely in his love's hands now, totally helpless.. and Kakarott certainly has a lot to deal with.. his mate's rocky transformation, and a pending attack of pissed off Shadows led by his new worst enemy... hmmm...
delicious.
That being said, Kakarott does mention at the end that caring for Vegeta is the only use for his energy now.. I would hope he does not blindly focus so much on his mate that he disregards the severity of the conflict which their union has most likely caused. He will be no good to Vegeta if he is dead.
Not that I think that would happen... -huge, pleading eyes-
But his ways do concern me from time to time. (More about that in #12.)
Ah.. the disrobing here.. very sexy.
And any other little comments will be saved for the quotes, including ecstatic mention of my(most likely) favorite gesture in #11.
*So, no one is allowed to touch him.” I growled out the last sentence as I looked over the twenty guards that stood before me.
*I relaxed my protective pose a little more and turned my head to see how my beloved was doing. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a look of boredom on his precious face. I smirked.
*He walked to my side and I wrapped an arm around him to keep him there.
*I tensed at his loyal guard’s name, whom I just made as my worst enemy. Haru. I’m going to have to remember that name.
Vegeta looked up at me when I didn’t say anything. “Kakarot, it’s alright. Haru’s not a threat, at least, not yet.” He ended in a worried tone. I hugged him to me tighter.
*He suckled greedily as if he couldn’t live without it, and in truth, he can’t. I smiled at this.
(I *adore* this.)
*I drank him slowly because I knew this was the only chance I’d get to taste him like this. I’m the only one to drink him. He’s been saving his blood for me and I’m relishing in it completely.(I loved the entire transformation; take that for granted. I had a question about this.. does Kakarott mean that he is the only one to ever drink Vegeta in *this* way? I am wondering if I have missed something or there is some significance to this. Not that the lovers would have had any reason to converse about the subject necessarily.. and we are not going to count Vegeta's father, as that was non-consensual.. but Vegeta did turn Haru.. and that did constitute Haru drinking of him. Yes, from his forearm, and not his neck.. not quite as intimate, no.. but it does not strike me that Vegeta would turn anyone else for some reason. So.. is this true based on a technicality, or a statement made by Kakarott in error, because he was ignorant? The first I will easily accept.. the second will most likely result in an unhappy King of Lights when he discovers the truth. No.. I do not think he would be angry at Vegeta.. I do think it would make him dislike Haru even more.)
*“Wait. Back up. You were going to interrogate him? After I said that no one was going to touch him?” Anger was built up in each word as I said them. (Odd.. the more possessive Kakarott becomes, the happier I am.)
*“You know…your panic…isn’t…exactly helping!!” He tried yelling at us in between pants.
*“How…is this…okay, Kakarot? I’m…not…okay!!” My love panted back at me. (I'll keep telling you about oustanding in character.. this is very Fusion Reborn, although not exactly the same.)
*He took a couple more breaths and then his breath hitched and started panting again. “I…can’t do it! I’ve…never…done this…before! I don’t…know…what to do!” he panicked more.
*I moved behind him and lifted him up so his back rested against my chest. “Now, breathe in and out. Feel my chest. You can do it.” I breathed in his ear.
*“Kakarot. As soon as I…get my strength back, I’m going to…kick your ass.” (-smirks hugely-)
*“Shh…I’m right here. It’s ok.” I stroked his hair and kissed his temple.
*“Also…” Everyone stopped. “I don’t want anyone to know that he’s in here. If I find out that anyone else knows besides everyone who is in this room, I will personally enjoy making your lives so miserable that you’ll probably wish you could join the Shadows instead.” I ended my threat with a death glare and a growl.
“Alright, alright. We get the warning.” Father answered my threat casually, and then walked over to the guards and whispered, “and for God sakes, do what he says.” I heard it anyways. A few of them swallowed loudly while others nodded and left the room quickly. (This was totally sexy Kakarott at his best.. and I loved Bardock's reaction. 'Yeah, yeah, whatever.. fucking do what he says or die!!' Oh... -snickers- ..priceless!)
*He looked at me with a glazy look to his beautiful black depths. “I’m…thirsty.” He sounded so weak. Doubt suddenly hit me. I hope I’m doing this right. I’ll never forgive myself if I let him die.
*I looked back at my love’s face, and then looked at the rest of his body. I covered his lower half with a sheet as the guard came in.
*Wow, it’s rare that someone shows that much respect to me anymore. Usually everyone is so loyal to only my father. (This worries me a bit.. is this because they are aware that Bardock is responsible for the decisions in a larger sense, or because of the rumor of Kakarott's love for Vegeta? Or both?)
*This is the only use for my energy now. I have to save it for him so he can make it through this okay. (Troublesome, but sweet.)
*I held him in my arms until I knew he was asleep and I soon curled up closer against him and secured my golden tail around his warming thigh. (-purrs blissfully- ..and the gesture I mentioned earlier, the possessive and intimate curling of Kakarott's golden(amazing!!) tail around Vegeta's thigh... this made me... *happy*.)
I am still breathless over previously mentioned show of affection as I move to #12.
schedule
June 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
*poke, poke* You're not going to kill him, are you? (Yes, I realize he is 'dead', but you know what I mean. :P ) I hope Goku realizes and appreciates just what Vegeta has done (because Goku can be a bit of a twit at times). And I just know Haru is going to show up and throw a monkey wrench into things.
(Also - check your 'add chapter' settings - I could add a chapter to this the way they are right now.)
(Also - check your 'add chapter' settings - I could add a chapter to this the way they are right now.)
schedule
June 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Very interesting and unique story. I was hoping the whole time that Vegeta would be the one converted even if an dominant, possibly evil Kakarott did sound lovely. xD
I eagerly wait the next chapter and can't wait to see what happens ^_^
I am interested in how mpreg works with this story, too. Will it be different to 'normal' mpreg or the same? (Here's rooting that Vegeta is the pregnant one) xD
I eagerly wait the next chapter and can't wait to see what happens ^_^
I am interested in how mpreg works with this story, too. Will it be different to 'normal' mpreg or the same? (Here's rooting that Vegeta is the pregnant one) xD
schedule
June 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hmm.
How about a response.. to your response.. and then I will get on with the reviews?
-shifts narrowed eyes at the hug, though remaining still to allow it, arms folded tightly across chest in obvious discomfort-
Alright.
Hand over the Kakarott plushie, and we will be even.
Movingthehellon.
1.
As a point that does not particularly matter, I do not usually flame, other than in an extreme circumstance. I am superior to such foolishness, particularly when to flame so elaborately would have taken far too much of my precious time. Unless something is *seriously* wrong.. and it just sucks.. I do not bother with that which is beneath me.
I have somewhat of a humor deficiency myself.. so I..
-brow raise, thoughtful expression and carefully chosen words-
will be glad.. that you are glad.. that I think.. you are, perhaps.. hilarious.
I know that 'Prince' mistake is an easy one to make. I believe you had asked in a note whether no one else had noticed you doing it, upset in what appears to be your trademark fashion.. so.. I pointed it out to you where I saw it. Entirely understandable and innocuous error. Keep your hair on, would you?
I agree entirely.. I do not think that people should write about something without having their facts straight, unless they *intend* to butcher it.. in which case, that is their prerogative. However, they should be aware of their nonsense and make no attempts to pass it off as accurate.
Fucking pisses me off.. like most things.
Yes, this Vegeta is extremely.. eerily.. similar to myself.. I have never before read a fic where I thought a character could have been made for me personally. Seeing as we do not know each other in the least, it a huge reason that I have taken so much interest.
If you did want any assistance with whatever lemon, or anything, do let me know. No trouble, feel free.
Ah. I only require about 2 hours of sleep each 24 hour cycle, though I often function at full capacity on less. Sleep can be nice.. but I am very busy.
2.
I like Vegeta's father dead and Bardock as he is, yes. I think, for the Kakarott we have here, his father is a necessary supporter.. if you wanted to keep him until the time is right to off him as a literary device, forcing Kakarott to come into his own as King.. -shrugs-
I really.. do not like to see the clown sad, however.. so I will be squeamish about that as a possibility.
I love Vegeta as a seme or uke, really.. I am not one of those who have a strict preference. Rather, it has to suit my mood.. which has been totally submissive lately.
-stares at ceiling with best possible gaze of blank innocence-
Naturally, I could not help but notice the differences between Lights and Shadows.. I was looking for them carefully, actually.
I love jealousy. Makes my fucking day. -rubs hands together in a like fashion- I cannot wait.
3.
No, no. It was perfectly good enough. A whip is fairly standard, but you detailed the abuse so well overall that such a trivial thing does not matter.
Ah, as far as Kakarott having known who Vegeta was before.. that is what I had thought you meant. I only wanted to make certain because knowing that adds a flavor I would have been missing if unsure.
You have all good points about their meeting place and surrounding circumstances. Well explained, and understood.
Don't worry about what you think you could have explained better..
most of my queries are only for clarification's sake. Sometimes, I may simply want to see what your answer will be. I want to be exactly where you are coming from to appreciate the story to it's fullest. As far as consistency and coherency's sake, this is *amazing* for a first time. Truly. I love it. You are doing awesome.. continue as you have been, please.
If you are ever happy enough with the story and want to go back, do a revamp to make it entirely perfect, as many writers do even after the first publication, I would be happy to help with whatever you need.
Write more, worry less.
When I say something is 'classic', it is most assuredly good, yes.
I fully comprehend everything that you detailed here.. excellent job.
Thank you for answering my questions.
You are welcome for the reviews.
How about a response.. to your response.. and then I will get on with the reviews?
-shifts narrowed eyes at the hug, though remaining still to allow it, arms folded tightly across chest in obvious discomfort-
Alright.
Hand over the Kakarott plushie, and we will be even.
Movingthehellon.
1.
As a point that does not particularly matter, I do not usually flame, other than in an extreme circumstance. I am superior to such foolishness, particularly when to flame so elaborately would have taken far too much of my precious time. Unless something is *seriously* wrong.. and it just sucks.. I do not bother with that which is beneath me.
I have somewhat of a humor deficiency myself.. so I..
-brow raise, thoughtful expression and carefully chosen words-
will be glad.. that you are glad.. that I think.. you are, perhaps.. hilarious.
I know that 'Prince' mistake is an easy one to make. I believe you had asked in a note whether no one else had noticed you doing it, upset in what appears to be your trademark fashion.. so.. I pointed it out to you where I saw it. Entirely understandable and innocuous error. Keep your hair on, would you?
I agree entirely.. I do not think that people should write about something without having their facts straight, unless they *intend* to butcher it.. in which case, that is their prerogative. However, they should be aware of their nonsense and make no attempts to pass it off as accurate.
Fucking pisses me off.. like most things.
Yes, this Vegeta is extremely.. eerily.. similar to myself.. I have never before read a fic where I thought a character could have been made for me personally. Seeing as we do not know each other in the least, it a huge reason that I have taken so much interest.
If you did want any assistance with whatever lemon, or anything, do let me know. No trouble, feel free.
Ah. I only require about 2 hours of sleep each 24 hour cycle, though I often function at full capacity on less. Sleep can be nice.. but I am very busy.
2.
I like Vegeta's father dead and Bardock as he is, yes. I think, for the Kakarott we have here, his father is a necessary supporter.. if you wanted to keep him until the time is right to off him as a literary device, forcing Kakarott to come into his own as King.. -shrugs-
I really.. do not like to see the clown sad, however.. so I will be squeamish about that as a possibility.
I love Vegeta as a seme or uke, really.. I am not one of those who have a strict preference. Rather, it has to suit my mood.. which has been totally submissive lately.
-stares at ceiling with best possible gaze of blank innocence-
Naturally, I could not help but notice the differences between Lights and Shadows.. I was looking for them carefully, actually.
I love jealousy. Makes my fucking day. -rubs hands together in a like fashion- I cannot wait.
3.
No, no. It was perfectly good enough. A whip is fairly standard, but you detailed the abuse so well overall that such a trivial thing does not matter.
Ah, as far as Kakarott having known who Vegeta was before.. that is what I had thought you meant. I only wanted to make certain because knowing that adds a flavor I would have been missing if unsure.
You have all good points about their meeting place and surrounding circumstances. Well explained, and understood.
Don't worry about what you think you could have explained better..
most of my queries are only for clarification's sake. Sometimes, I may simply want to see what your answer will be. I want to be exactly where you are coming from to appreciate the story to it's fullest. As far as consistency and coherency's sake, this is *amazing* for a first time. Truly. I love it. You are doing awesome.. continue as you have been, please.
If you are ever happy enough with the story and want to go back, do a revamp to make it entirely perfect, as many writers do even after the first publication, I would be happy to help with whatever you need.
Write more, worry less.
When I say something is 'classic', it is most assuredly good, yes.
I fully comprehend everything that you detailed here.. excellent job.
Thank you for answering my questions.
You are welcome for the reviews.