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January 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Okay, I was a bit afraid there was going to be a whole lot of co-dependant angst in this chapter. (Trunks seemed very co-dependant in the last chapter.) I can see that is still there - but he is attempting to minimize it with material goods. I can see that as an IC thing for him to do.
Poor Gohan is going to get ran over by a Trunks tornado. I know he can stand up to it...I am just wondering if he's going to figure out to do so before it's too late.
And...Although I don't mind seeing Trunks and Gohan together *grins* I am wondering what will happen if Goten decides that life without Trunks isn't all he thought it would be. That's a whole lot of angst I wouldn't want to write....
Triangles...GAH!
Anyway – I am just rambling about all the horrible possibilities I can see coming from this. I am certain you’re going to surprise us. :P
P.S. All that to say – good chapter. *drools about Gohan in suits and no glasses*
Poor Gohan is going to get ran over by a Trunks tornado. I know he can stand up to it...I am just wondering if he's going to figure out to do so before it's too late.
And...Although I don't mind seeing Trunks and Gohan together *grins* I am wondering what will happen if Goten decides that life without Trunks isn't all he thought it would be. That's a whole lot of angst I wouldn't want to write....
Triangles...GAH!
Anyway – I am just rambling about all the horrible possibilities I can see coming from this. I am certain you’re going to surprise us. :P
P.S. All that to say – good chapter. *drools about Gohan in suits and no glasses*
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January 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I seriously love this story! I am filled with so many conflicting emotions. I feel so bad for Trunks, but I also feel really bad for Goten. I want Trunks to find happiness, but at the same time, I don't want Goten to be with anyone but Trunks. Even if he has to be chained to Trunks. I feel excited and anxious at the same time. I must know what happens next!
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December 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is such a beautifully written story. I love the way you've developed relationships between the demi's and their reasons for corresponding to each other's actions the way they do.
The way Gohan helped Trunks through his drunken stupor then to turn on him in the training room, written so well. All their actions are descriptive enough to know to an extent why they're doing what they're doing. Trunks got what he had coming to him. Still, the way you explained Trunks' childhood infatuation along those lines, I have to agree with Trunks having a hero worship for Gohan after that. I've seen that brought up before, and I loved the way you've inserted Gohan STILL being the strongest of the demi Saiyans. I hate when his Mystic powers are written off, due to the fact that he's just a brainy geek that's lost his ability to fight.
I feel so sorry for Trunks at this moment. Yeah, he could have treated Goten a little bit better, and perhaps it wouldn't have ended up the way it did, but I'm rooting more for it to work out between Gohan and Trunks. Gohan thinks he knows the reason he's comforting Trunks, but he doesn't know the depth of Goten's involvement either. That could also hurt what could be in the future between Gohan and Trunks.
I found this story on the Boxer and Rice site, didn't know it was this far along. Please continue this story. It's so well developed, and well written for the Truhan coupling. I'm loving it so far, and I really do wish there were a way to sign up for updates for stories on this site. Anyways, I'm glad it's come to Trunks needing Gohan at the moment.
The way Gohan helped Trunks through his drunken stupor then to turn on him in the training room, written so well. All their actions are descriptive enough to know to an extent why they're doing what they're doing. Trunks got what he had coming to him. Still, the way you explained Trunks' childhood infatuation along those lines, I have to agree with Trunks having a hero worship for Gohan after that. I've seen that brought up before, and I loved the way you've inserted Gohan STILL being the strongest of the demi Saiyans. I hate when his Mystic powers are written off, due to the fact that he's just a brainy geek that's lost his ability to fight.
I feel so sorry for Trunks at this moment. Yeah, he could have treated Goten a little bit better, and perhaps it wouldn't have ended up the way it did, but I'm rooting more for it to work out between Gohan and Trunks. Gohan thinks he knows the reason he's comforting Trunks, but he doesn't know the depth of Goten's involvement either. That could also hurt what could be in the future between Gohan and Trunks.
I found this story on the Boxer and Rice site, didn't know it was this far along. Please continue this story. It's so well developed, and well written for the Truhan coupling. I'm loving it so far, and I really do wish there were a way to sign up for updates for stories on this site. Anyways, I'm glad it's come to Trunks needing Gohan at the moment.
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December 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like this story and hope to see frequent updates!
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December 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 1:
I like the writing style and story-telling very much - it gives the feeling of lightness and flow. Characters are fleshed out very well, their actions reasonable and familiar to canon which brings a knowing smile to a reader’s face.
Chapter 2:
There are so many good “hooks” in here! For once, you have a nice sense of humor. I loved that: “”But then, remembering what time it was, he cleared his throat and in his best Vegeta impression he shouted, “Get up, you brats, before I blast this bed into the next galaxy!” Trunks scrambled out of bed so fast he didn’t even notice that Goten’s legs were entangled with his own. By the time he stood up with a “Yes, sir!” a split second later, [...].” Oh, I laughed about some minute. I wonder how often Trunks’ bed had been blasted to hell.
Another thing… the leather pants. I was waiting for something to happen (like Trunks messing with Gohan again), but it was even better. Oh yeah, amazing what one has to suffer for fashion. And going super Saiyan to look cooler - I liked how you included that.
Now let’s get to the more serious part where you portrayed Goten and Trunks’ relationship. “And, even though he knew he should be grateful to have such a loyal friend, he often felt only . . . suffocated.” Haahhh, this one floored me. Well, in a good way. It made me think that really, Trunks is suffocating. He’s kinda…maximalist here, isn’t he? Restless, wants everything to go his way, loves having control and teasing everyone around him. He’s being possessive of Goten. And I don’t think it’s just because he likes Goten very much. Probably he just wants Goten to be around him, well, like he wants to be the center of Goten’s world. Trunks simply loves attention, doesn’t he? I think he’d simply go insane if he suddenly found himself alone.
Chapter 3:
Ah, so once control slipped out of his grasp, so he too, wants Goten to balance on the end of the abyss. Poor Goten, now he won’t know where to put his eyes in University.
Anyways, drugs…I just hope it was a one-time slip Trunks did. All those drug stories are really…well, it gets really repetitive and annoying.
Well, let’s wish Gohan luck in trying to figure out what is going on ^_^
Chapter 4:
It seems trunks can’t decide whether he should be grateful to Gohan or just annoy and tease the crap out of him. Those seem like phases, heh
Mmm… Trunks is getting a habit to “beat” Gohan off with ambiguous innuendos.
I liked the scene in the bathroom, when Gohan was helping Trunks out of his clothes.
There was also this: “It had ended with the promise that, “If you’re bent on abusing your body, I’ll gladly do the honors.”
Then it had taken the construction crew two weeks to plaster the hole Vegeta had put in the bedroom wall when he tossed his son through it. And that was just cigarettes.
Sooo Vegeta-like. He seems to have a knack for rearing children, hehehe
Chapter 5:
It seems Gohan didn’t realize that this had been the end of a long lasting relationship. He thinks Trunks tried to get together only now?
What I liked the most was how you made Gohan accidentally see them and realize it all. He also wasn’t shocked, just understanding. I wonder how it would have been if Goten had not pushed Trunks away, but that’s another story.
So Goten finally decided to find out what’s life without Trunks hogging him and all of his senses and experiences. Yeah, growing up together, doing things together, Trunks trying his best to be the center of Goten’s attention might really be too much, making one feel like suffocating.
On the other hand, maybe it will improve Trunks personality? i think it might be a naive thought, but maybe not getting what he wants will make him consider other people. But then…I think Gohan is going to buzz around him, spoiling that effect and making Trunks feel as if he really is the most important in the world…
A very emotional chapter, this one!
I like the writing style and story-telling very much - it gives the feeling of lightness and flow. Characters are fleshed out very well, their actions reasonable and familiar to canon which brings a knowing smile to a reader’s face.
Chapter 2:
There are so many good “hooks” in here! For once, you have a nice sense of humor. I loved that: “”But then, remembering what time it was, he cleared his throat and in his best Vegeta impression he shouted, “Get up, you brats, before I blast this bed into the next galaxy!” Trunks scrambled out of bed so fast he didn’t even notice that Goten’s legs were entangled with his own. By the time he stood up with a “Yes, sir!” a split second later, [...].” Oh, I laughed about some minute. I wonder how often Trunks’ bed had been blasted to hell.
Another thing… the leather pants. I was waiting for something to happen (like Trunks messing with Gohan again), but it was even better. Oh yeah, amazing what one has to suffer for fashion. And going super Saiyan to look cooler - I liked how you included that.
Now let’s get to the more serious part where you portrayed Goten and Trunks’ relationship. “And, even though he knew he should be grateful to have such a loyal friend, he often felt only . . . suffocated.” Haahhh, this one floored me. Well, in a good way. It made me think that really, Trunks is suffocating. He’s kinda…maximalist here, isn’t he? Restless, wants everything to go his way, loves having control and teasing everyone around him. He’s being possessive of Goten. And I don’t think it’s just because he likes Goten very much. Probably he just wants Goten to be around him, well, like he wants to be the center of Goten’s world. Trunks simply loves attention, doesn’t he? I think he’d simply go insane if he suddenly found himself alone.
Chapter 3:
Ah, so once control slipped out of his grasp, so he too, wants Goten to balance on the end of the abyss. Poor Goten, now he won’t know where to put his eyes in University.
Anyways, drugs…I just hope it was a one-time slip Trunks did. All those drug stories are really…well, it gets really repetitive and annoying.
Well, let’s wish Gohan luck in trying to figure out what is going on ^_^
Chapter 4:
It seems trunks can’t decide whether he should be grateful to Gohan or just annoy and tease the crap out of him. Those seem like phases, heh
Mmm… Trunks is getting a habit to “beat” Gohan off with ambiguous innuendos.
I liked the scene in the bathroom, when Gohan was helping Trunks out of his clothes.
There was also this: “It had ended with the promise that, “If you’re bent on abusing your body, I’ll gladly do the honors.”
Then it had taken the construction crew two weeks to plaster the hole Vegeta had put in the bedroom wall when he tossed his son through it. And that was just cigarettes.
Sooo Vegeta-like. He seems to have a knack for rearing children, hehehe
Chapter 5:
It seems Gohan didn’t realize that this had been the end of a long lasting relationship. He thinks Trunks tried to get together only now?
What I liked the most was how you made Gohan accidentally see them and realize it all. He also wasn’t shocked, just understanding. I wonder how it would have been if Goten had not pushed Trunks away, but that’s another story.
So Goten finally decided to find out what’s life without Trunks hogging him and all of his senses and experiences. Yeah, growing up together, doing things together, Trunks trying his best to be the center of Goten’s attention might really be too much, making one feel like suffocating.
On the other hand, maybe it will improve Trunks personality? i think it might be a naive thought, but maybe not getting what he wants will make him consider other people. But then…I think Gohan is going to buzz around him, spoiling that effect and making Trunks feel as if he really is the most important in the world…
A very emotional chapter, this one!