rate_review Reviews

I can't figure out why I won't stay logged in to aff to give a signed in review, but oh well. This was really outstanding. I really do hope you continue this because I fell in love with it. This story definitely has a ton of potential and I would love to read more of it. I really, really like how you write Heero. Duo hasn't really had a chance to shine yet, but he's getting there. I really do hope to see more of this. Happy Writing.

Nooo!!! No more cliffhangers! I don't think I can take anymore of them!

I love this story. You need to put up more. I need to know what happens!!!!!!!!!

I think I missed some of this story, because it's in the sub-category "Heero/Duo" and I don't see it in the main listing of "Yaoi". I might have to go back and read the past two or three chapters, but thirteen was excellent. It's odd that each Gundam seems to have an alter ego, both as a protective mechanism when they're under attack, but also as a dark side that pushes them away from anyone who tries to get close. Quatre seems to be suffering the most, since he's not only hearing the ugly voice inside his head and trying to deny it's a part of him, but he's also feeling Duo's emotions, picking up the darkness and despair that he's projecting. That's a huge psychic and emotional burden for an empath.

Heero's been suicidal before, we've seen that, so him swallowing the pills was shocking, but not out of character. Antipsychotic drugs sometimes make people suicidal and antianxiety meds can make you depressed *been on klonopin and xanax before myself, I can relate* so seeing him react like that was, again, very much in character. It made me really feel for Heero, even as I pitied Duo, who's already been through so much. Great writing. Great dialogue. Trowa doing the newlywed carry with Quat, and then Duo, created a slightly silly image in my head, but other than that, I really enjoyed this. Bravo.

This is an interesting story. The role the zero system plays is very interesting. One thing though, intmost every chapter Quatre's name is spelled incorrectly. I don't mean to offend or anything, I just thought I would point that out.

wow......this is one of the best stories I have ever read.....love your writing style and descriptive abilities...read all the chapters in one sitting.....Please update more!!!!

I love all the layers of story telling you have woven into this so far. The scene with the pancakes was great; that brings to mind the relationship between Heero and Duo that we're used to seeing. I love the tension and the sense that something devastating is around the corner, a concept I can borrow from the last two chapters.

Thanks for the update.

You've made tons of progress with this story, and it seems like it's better beta'd than it was when you first began, too, and therefore easier to read.

That one chapter, I think it was nine, was tricky to follow while I had to jump back and forth between the present and Duo's flashbacks, then try to wade again through Heero's and Duo's delusions that they were talking to. You could remedy some of that with italic text formatting when it's the character's inner monologue, and by making some of your captions bold-italic, like "Meanwhile, back at the ranch..."

Just suggestions, probably moot. Anyway, on to the strengths of this story. I'm enjoying it. It hurt to see Duo thrown back into his nightmares through the therapy, and it was very tangibly written. I love Trowa and Quatre as a bickering couple who are having a hard time with the problems between them, on top of the problems involved with helping Duo and Heero recover. That's very real, as caretakers seldom take care of themselves in real life. I wanted to smack Wufei for constantly calling Duo an idiot, there were moments where I wanted him to lighten up, but again, that was in character. Good work.

Good start. the story could use a Beta though cuz the language is rather rough.

I've been wondering when you would update this story; I thought about it fleetingly yesterday.

I love Heero's revelations, Duo's conversations with Solo and the scenes with the crayons.