rate_review Reviews

Wow. Just wow. Very intense.

o.o.....................................


I really...... REALLY.... liked your story...... A LOT!!

Kami, I am sooooo jealous of Videl right now! I WANT MY OWN HOT HALF-ALIEN PERFECT MAN!

My goodness, I don't even know what to say. The sheer detail, the words used, how they were used, it was beautiful~

This was by far one of the best I've ever read. I feel honored to have this in our group. Let me tell you, great job!

Also~

Kami: "Who keeps saying my name? Mr. Popo?"

Popo: "It wasn't me."

That was very well written and stuck very close to the source material. There were a few hiccups, but nothing that distracted me from your intense descriptions. Looking to see more from you.

amazing!
but i've always wondered how no one heard them i mean they were in school and unless the rooms are sound-proof i can't see how no one heard them.

Not to sound like the average, brainless commentor, but........I DEMAND MOAR.

Seriously, I loved it. Other than the misspellings that took me a couple of seconds to figure out here & there, it was perfect. So, at your leisure, please write more of this.

While this may be hawt as hell, every good writer needs a good editor, because no matter the plotting layout, if your readers repeatedly witness the same mistakes being made in the story they are trying to lose themselves in, the story's value go down. The readers are constantly being ripped out of their fantasy world that you have so magnanimously created for them only to use words that don't logically go together or aren't spelled correctly and now we've go to figure out what you're insinuating. It usually ended in me chuckling because of the way you decided to phrase yourself. This could have been a much steamier piece of work but it feels like it was a bit harried to get it out. Best bit o advise I can gives ya: GET AN EDITOR!

Great to see something else from you. I think that this is probably your best work, you really managed to capture some strong feelings and emotions. I was honestly a little teary eyed when they were kind of realising they could love each other.