rate_review Reviews

Fucking. Amazing.
Fics like this give me hope for my fandoms and fanfiction in general.

I am SO glad you brought this back! I read it on FF.net, and spent hours searching for it here on AFF.net. Made my day to finally find and read it. I love love love how in character you kept everyone. I swear to god, when I began reading it I could legit hear their voices with the dialogue- it was that in character. This is by far my favorite DBZ fan fic right now, I'm just... sayian. ;D
And although I think it stands very well as a oneshot I'm greedy and say~ Yooou should wriiittteee moooreeeeee! :D

If its okay, I'd like to throw a teensy bit of concrit at you?

1)
“Get up, Vegeta.” But the prince can no longer move. He can hardly breathe.

“I-I…” He tries to explain through a hacking episode, but his mind isn’t forming the words right.

You have a tense switch in this paragraph. The "Can" Should be "Could" And a few other words should be switched to the past tense.

2)
The only other thing i'd add is a bit more krillin pov/ interactions once the raep finally gets going. I think that would have lead for more humiliation.

But regardless of me being nittpicky... I LOVE IT SO MUCH! *faves* I really hope you keep going with it. :D

I truly enjoyed this. I love fics that go passed Vegeta's closed off exterior and show us that vulnerable side that was too rarely shown on the show. The journey to vet to that vulnerability was very realistic. I feel it was well paced and in character. Maybe I'm a sadist but I thought this was very sexy and satisfying. please continue.

Poor Vegeta :(

Frieza was awful but I liked reading his thoughts and Vegeta's defiance.

That was very well written and I can't believe you killed him, or did you?

... That... was beyond words. So... Frieza actually killed him????? Or is it possible that you are continuing this? I would very much enjoy it if you would. Oh, and I'll be happy to beta it for you if you would like.
All in all, it was wonderfully written and you captured everyone's attitudes (or at least those that acted/spoke) fantastically. You just don't see good (perhaps a better phrase to use would be high-quality) torture fics like that often enough.

Very interesting! I loved it. I would enjoy reading more. I wonder if Piccolo or Goku would show up to help him. You wrote the angst really well, which is all I need for a good story. Poor Vegeta! I hope to read more fanfics by you, especially ones like this!