rate_review Reviews

Omg another chapter >w< Thankies so much~ I've been waiting forever to see if you would continue this and I was really excited to see this on the front page X3
I'm starting to like this new side of Broly and it seems Raditz is slowly, but surely, coming to terms with this sudden change too~
I hope Tora becomes strong enough to get Bardock back soon~ Just seeing 'Dock away from Tora is heartbreaking ;_;
And then there's Jyel. He had me laughing just a little too hard XD He was trying his best to not laugh at Broly XD
Keep the chapters coming >w< I can't wait to see what happens next~

YAY!!! UPDATE!!! Need more ^_^ K

Plz update, I love your story immensely! Your characters are well developed and its incredibly refreshing to come across a story like this.
-don

Ooh a new chapter.
I don't think they were that OOC and I liked how it came out.
Keep up the good work

Wow, two chapters in two days >w<
Oh no. What was Jyel thinking. I wonder what Broly's reaction will be...and if the results would be good or bad.And what's going to happen to Bardock?
Please continue on with the story. This is starting to get more than good. This is getting...epic ^^

Please tell me good times are coming soon for raditz? Because I don't think my heart can take anymore suffering!

I adore this tale but a tad bit more description would be lovely, savvy?

horrah~ An update
Wow, this chapter was just...wow. I'm speechless. I can only hope things get better for Bardock and Raditz. I'm kinda hoping that Tora saves Bardock and then Bardock goes off to save his son. That would be nice ^^

It's been a while since I've read this... Glad you are continuing it. Hope that Bardock can get out of this.. K

I usually don't do this - and that is, offer advice.

I clicked on the story because the pairing was interesting. I managed to get through the first chapter, but noticed something.

You have a lot of dialog - that isn't a bad thing. We all need to know what is being said.

However, you could flesh the story out by giving us details. For example - when King Vegeta (and I am assuming it is King Vegeta, because there isn't any indicator) says “Raditz is unmated...” - what do you imagine his facial express is? Does he make hand gestures? Is he feeling any emotions?

A suggestion -

King Vegeta didn't like it, but he stated what was obvious to everyone except Bardock. “Raditz is unmated...” He could feel himself frown even as the words left his mouth.


Creative pairings are awesome! I hope you continue to write them.