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November 30, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Good, although you have a number of grammar and spelling errors that detract from it. The dialogue structure could have been executed better, and perhaps putting thoughts in a different font would make it easier to understand.
Good idea, but really out of character for Krillin, even for the time frame. Piccolo was done well, however. Over all I'd give it a C, which is still good. Who did the original prompt, BTW? I have a Piccolo/Krillin started as well. Let me know?
javor1cm@cmich.edu
Good idea, but really out of character for Krillin, even for the time frame. Piccolo was done well, however. Over all I'd give it a C, which is still good. Who did the original prompt, BTW? I have a Piccolo/Krillin started as well. Let me know?
javor1cm@cmich.edu