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November 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Sometimes it's good to step outside of what you normally do, just to test your boundaries. I thought it was fine, it's hard to do a Vegeta x Goten, but as a piece of lemony goodness, it certainly served its purpose :)
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November 4, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Not bad, honestly. I've read the a different story of yours on one of your other sites, A Tail of Two Saiyans, and I felt that the writing was better there. Not really trying to compare the stories, but rather the way the writing held up. Being that this was a very short piece, I was left a bit empty, lol. (That may have to be with how into your other story I am, so this is probably unfair commentary seeming as i'm apparently biased.) I do like Goten and Vegeta together, and I know you LOVE them, so I was surprised to find it somewhat forced...hm, maybe thrown together is a better way to phrase it? I guess I thought there'd be more chemistry. Even if it is a PWP, sometimes it's there, many times it's not, but that connection wasn't there before it led up to the lemon. Now, had I not read your other story I probably would have been satisfied, but then again, that other story was what got me into the Vegeta/Goten pairing in the first place! lol. You really do some good work, evidence enough is that I have kept up with every chapter you've updated on any fic, but this one just wasn't my favorite cup of tea.