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March 8, 2014 at 12:00 AM
This was an absolutely AMAZING start! I love the how you decided to get them together, that was a good idea, you gave a little conflict, which I like, it's way better than "oh, I just realized my father's hot, I'm going to jump him oh ... NOW" You actually gave your story a little more depth by adding that aspect. I also like how you made Goku more observant, and intelligent in this story, often times stories make him a joker. You however made him conscious of Gohan's internal struggle and had Goku attempt to snap him out of his funk. I do hope that you continue this story soon, I will be on the look out!
Thank you for this fantabulous story!
Inu-Ice-Dragon
Thank you for this fantabulous story!
Inu-Ice-Dragon
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November 28, 2013 at 12:00 AM
:( No updates? I was so hoping....
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August 22, 2013 at 12:00 AM
I literally love this story. You write there personalities so well and im at the edge of my seat waiting for what is to come. I hope you update soon, and write more dbz stories! :)
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August 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM
What a great story, I want more, please keep writing you are keeping me hanging.
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July 12, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Since this has been at the top of the list for a while, I didn't even realize there was a second chapter!
This chapter does not disappoint! :) The are still very much in character, although I still get more of Gohan's POV than Goku's POV. Ah, if Gohan wanted to actually think about it, he should have walked away - quickly! LOL - there's no going back now! :)
It's always difficult to get them to think around the main issue to where they actually want to be. Sometimes it just needs that little shove to move them in the correct direction. The hug was most certainly that moment!
Looking forward to chapter 3! :P
This chapter does not disappoint! :) The are still very much in character, although I still get more of Gohan's POV than Goku's POV. Ah, if Gohan wanted to actually think about it, he should have walked away - quickly! LOL - there's no going back now! :)
It's always difficult to get them to think around the main issue to where they actually want to be. Sometimes it just needs that little shove to move them in the correct direction. The hug was most certainly that moment!
Looking forward to chapter 3! :P
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July 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
very good, well paced with a bit of dramatic flair, good character composition very in character, excellent style, i look forward to reading more.
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June 28, 2013 at 12:00 AM
YAY!!!!! I can't tell you how excited I am to see this story - it's showing some great promise! Gohan's 'voice' is pretty much how I would expect him to behave in such a situation. I didn't get enough of Goku's POV to tell you if I feel the same from that direction or not, but he's being pretty direct/candid, which is what I would expect him to be in this type of situation.
I'm so happy I get to read this instead of writing it! :D
Trying to find the types of situations where these two might finally face up to something so obvious is kind of fun. I've thought of plenty, but usually Goku walking in on Gohan, and not visa versa. You're pulling it off rather well!
YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!
I'm so happy I get to read this instead of writing it! :D
Trying to find the types of situations where these two might finally face up to something so obvious is kind of fun. I've thought of plenty, but usually Goku walking in on Gohan, and not visa versa. You're pulling it off rather well!
YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!