Oh...one more thing. After Planet Vegeta blew up, I don't think that Freiza would have allowed Vegeta Jr. to claim the title of king, anyways. Too involved with his charming little 'Prince'. "Prince Vegeta, Prince of No One", comes to mind....ugh. That, too, may have drilled itself into Vegeta's mind over time.
Hey, maybe you could name their coming daughter Echalotte, as Vegeta was considering in Super. It means 'Shallot' in French.
I didn't notice this in my first read-through, but:
"He was, after all, he was only half of a person."
You may want to change that to: "After all, he was only half a person."
Also, I want to beat Goku over the head with a brick right now.
Such an exciting chapter! So much was explained so beautifully and I definitely feel a new jolt within the story with this turn of events. I liked how you explained where Videl was coming from, it made sense, and I loved how the girls were with Gohan, which was only better explained by Vegeta and Piccolo's father hood. I also think the request of Piccolo over looking the new home Vegeta plans for was very nice.
As for Goku and Vegeta, I wonder what secret could have been that well kept, and the two different yet similar depictions from Gohan and Vegeta on the matter were interesting.
Looking forward to more!
TristaML
By the way, hoping for more sooner than later!!!
Sorry I didn't leave a review sooner.
Torn between "Goku needs to PAY!" versus "Something seriously horrible is wrong and Goku has to be told".
He may not realize he's doing it...not knowing, not in control...but he has to understand that what he is doing is basically raping Vegeta on a regular basis. I don't care what the truth is...it's rape to me. Goku is unknowing, of course, so it can't really be counted as a sin he's committing, but still!
I don't get WHY Vegeta hasn't set him down to try and tell him something serious is going on? It should have dawned on Goku long ago that something is off with Vegeta, due to the issues with his condition.
The girls have very strong personalities. I like that.
I am mostly over this crap now. I have to see the doctor today, although for an unrelated reason. I'll be bringing up the fact I've been sick far more than normal this past winter. It's not normal of me.
If I had ever given Vegeta's sister a name, had I ever written her out, it would have been Kureson (Watercress), come to think of it. Kure for short. I'm no genius at Japanese, but what the hell, it's close enough.
Man, what can I say? I'm so anxious for the next chapter, that I don't want to wait! *Puppy dog eyes*
The way you write it sounds like Goku is raping Vegeta, even though you haven't outright said it that way...I don't know if I make any sense. Even if it is just rough sex, it should never reach the point where Vegeta has to make sure to protect his kids during the act.
That line about Vegeta changing the sheets without waking Goku made me remember that scene from Super where they have to wait it out to change Beerus's sheets. One of the funniest scenes so far in the series....
I know if I were the girls I'd be positively pissed off at 'Dad' too.
And finally, I really do hope that Vegeta turns to Whis to speak with. They were confidantes before. It's hard to get through that sort of shit alone.
I also need to stop reading chapters of this right before I go to bed (I tend to read stuff before bed every now and then), because it tends to affect my dreams. (Anything I'm doing right before bed tends to affect my dreams. Let's just say that if Whis is ever wandering Universe Six and somehow gets misdirected, I'd hate for him to land on the other version of his beloved world by mistake and dealing with the emotions from that alone. I doubt he could handle it.
And, finally, this whole Universal Tournament arc disturbs me in so many ways. Until and unless they say otherwise, I am quite convinced all the Angels and the Grand Priest are very, very bitter in their hearts. The last time Zeno destroyed six universes, I'm very much willing to bet six Angels died with them. It means the Grand Priest lost six kids, and this time around, he made steps to safeguard them. It is probably the reason why they are, for the most part, so distant and aloof to whatever goes on around them. Like in your story, why ever get attached? It hurts so much to lose who you are attached to.
More, please, and SOON!
Interesting turn of events. As usual there is a lot going on and I realized only recently that since I have not watched any of the dbz series based on the new frieza movie that that's why I have a hard time fully following what's going on, lol. Now that I know that (I'm not gonna start watching it but) I'm better able to understand the premise of the story as a whole.
I'm excited for the next chapter, things are way too complicated right now between Vegeta and Goku, I look forward to their progress! Especially with Vegetas pregnancy... his bodily state is freaking me out! As for Gohan and the girls, woo, I'm sure the next chapters will be plenty interesting and entertaining.
TristaML
Oh, I was going to ask but forgot...the dialogue in this chapter makes me wonder if the events of chapters 3-4 of The Spaces in Between occurs after this chapter. Otherwise what happens in those chapters doesn't seem to fit with what I read here. It makes perfect sense if it happens afterwards.
Said it before, and I'll say it again: If any story evokes real emotion in me, be it happiness, or anger, or anything else, then I know I have something fantastic on my hands.
What I felt here ran the gamut (maybe I'm more than a little annoyed at Goku's behavior by this point, both in the anime and here) and the feeling that all Saiyan peoples need to live their lives by their own choices the same as anyone else does, even the child-bearers.
Everything in the chapter's just fantastic. Keep it up!
This review would be longer, but guess what? I caught bronchitis again! I can't win....it's been a bad winter. The upside is that I've been on inhaled steriods for a while now to treat the underlying issue so I'm recovering from this bout far more quickly than the last time.
Hoping for a new chapter soon! :)
By the way, since you keep up with the anime version...I was rewatching clips of Episode 70, and both Vados and Whis remind Beerus and Champa that Gods of Destruction fighting each other is strictly forbidden. It's up to you to take that information into account in your story or not.
It makes sense, because in the world of Dragon Ball, if defeat meant taking over that universe, one God of Destruction would get it into his head to take over all the rest of them.
Zamasu definetly tried the backdoor route to such a thing...