I'm excited for the next few chapters! Its kind of funny to me that Goten was hesitant to try Vegeta in the first place, maybe he didn't want to be rejected, so he waited until he knew he wouldn't be. We shall see :) A little sad that Goku and Vegeta's first time was spurred on by an aphrodisiac but I get more why they're so at odds with their "relationship". I want to know more about that relationship, so many things are yet to be explained...
I will say, too, that I like that you update multiple chapters, although there is a downside to doing that. One, it creates a lack of anticipation, and hits on your story, and two, sometimes it seems rushed. I've done it before on one of my favorite stories and it wasn't received very well on this particular sight since some people only read stories on here based off of hits, which is ridiculous but true.
Plus, make sure you reread what you're about to post a few times before posting it, in this last chapter in particular, there were a lot of grammatical errors that could easily be fixed. Don't rush it, unless you are just dying to get it out, in which case I understand, and do go on... it just throws off the flow and emotion of the story when the reader has to mentally correct a sentence. It happens to all of us, I'm just putting it out there so you can fine tune the overall mood of your story, which will make the impact on the reader that much better.
TristaML
I really want to know how you're going to satiate their burning desire! And Goku is always such a dick for leaving- I want to know when he'll come back, damn it! That's one thing I never understood: why he can just leave and think that no one else will be bothered.
I enjoy the monologues, they seem practical, but mistaken, which is part of life. The conversation between Vegeta and Goku, Trunks and Goten, so... to the point, like familiar relations, never fully labelled... Goten is in denial, and Vegeta must have already known about him, too, but he's in denial as well. It's exciting to watch it all play out. But I itch for more.
I love PWP, BUT, porn WITH plot give you so much more to think of...
Trista ML
I love this. I know you said you posted this before in a different site, under a different name, and I feel like it rings some bells, BUT I am so wholly excited to reread, if that is the case, everything, including the changes you have made. Please continue...
Please?
Trista ML