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schedule
April 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
ok, the plot of this story was pretty good. But it seemed to jump around a little and I got a bit confused with you bringing in "Luke" and stuff like that, when he popped in with no introducion I kind of got lost. Please, can you go back over your story and put in some introductions/explinations for the seemingly random names that pop up? Also, some of the paragraphs are fractured. I dont know if that's a result of AFF moving servers or not but it was pretty darn annoying. Thanks.
Other then that it was pretty damn good. I liked the bitter sweet ending.
Other then that it was pretty damn good. I liked the bitter sweet ending.