rate_review Reviews

This slowly turned into a Vegeta/Goku. Not bad, a bit confusing, but good detail and I liked the characteristics, they were somewhat on point. Keep it up.

OMFG!! THAT WAS SO FRICKIN AWESOME!!! XD YOUR STORY ROX MY SOX!!

Well, other than some glaring spelling errors, it was a good read. It is nice to see a \"character bashing\" fic that still manages to keep Chichi somewhat in character, and with motivations and feelings, rather than just being \"that vindictive bitch\" It gets old when people are so one sided about their characterizations, it is nice to see you getting away from that.

If you wrote a sequal, or more chapters, I\'d definantly read them. That is not a plea if you are happy with your story as a one shot, but.. I\'d be interested to see more of your work. Just as a suggestion, you might try getting a beta reader. It would make your writing a bit more polished.

Great story, I like teh ides and how you opened it, I found a few errors.

took the votes=took the vows?

sole=soul?

foot not feet


um...the slang you used really dosen\'t apply ot men (eat eachother out) so if you can think of something else to use it would sound better.

also you said he was wounded as in injured in his arma, maybe you could use entwined? or tangled? woven?

I really like teh concept of your stary though. I hope I was helpful.