Symphony

This is just a little something that came to me when I was rewatching my GW tapes. Don\'t worry, I\'m still working on the next part of my series.

Title: Symphony

Author: Kris

Part: 1/2

Pairings: 3+4

Warnings: angst, yaoi...um..I think that\'s it..

Disclaimer: The characters and their world doesn\'t belong to
me. That should cover it.

Notes: Enjoy! Quatre\'s POV

Symphony

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Slowly, my hands caress the ivory keys, bring voice to my grief. I mourn for you, and I know that I can never forgive myself for what I have done. Why do I stay if I hurt so much, you ask? I stay because others need me. I stay because I am too much of a coward to let go and face you.

I close my eyes to block out the light, where I am should always be bathed in darkness. You called me your angel, but I am no heavenly messenger. I am bathed in blood and destruction. I have the stain of innocent blood on my hands and heart and no amount of tears can wash it away. Even e, Ie, I have shed your blood.

As I let the haunting melody take me from this place of light and hope, I can see you once again trying valiantly to stop me from my madness. For I was mad, I think you both saw that. My father\'s pain tore me apart and exposed my carefully hidden darkness to the world. And you, my love, payed the ultimate sin for my crime.

Behind the shadows of my eyes, the memories we shared dance and taunt me. I snuffed out your light, far sooner then you should have met that fate. I, who you gave your heart to, ripped it from your chest.

Your pain awoke me from the darkness, showed me the error of my ways, but it was far to late. I could not save you, and Heero thought of me as the bigger threat. Despite what he says, I know that it wasn\'t all Zero. Zero merely accented the darkness. I created it.

As I slowly drift, my hands start to play a familiar tune. One you and I once shared. Your favorite symphony. You once said that the melencoly tone fit your soul. Well, it fits mine far better now, for I have no more light, no hope.

I wish to join you in the eternal darkness, my soul is there already, but Heero needs me to look out for him, as do the others. I will care for them, my sleeping prince, until they are safe and then I will join you. Like the symphony I play, I know that the end shall come, far sooner than the listener might think. Suddenly, it all makes since. I am the symphony, a collection of sounds, of ideas. Soon, I shall bring my symphony to a close and move into the next with you.

Decision made, I slowly start to drift up from my dreams to hear Miss Noin calling me. Although I answer and speak to her as if nothing has changed I am no longer who I was. I rename myself for you. Quatre Rababa Winner died with you. Now, I am Nanashi.