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Cowards	By : CJMay Category: Gundam Wing/AC > General Views: 1051 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Cowards
- 1
Cowards

by CJ May

aka Drakon Sword

Pairing: 3x5 (1+3, 5+M, and 4+R implied)
Warnings: A bit of Angst, and Language, Yaoi, Lemon, OOC (they have grown, and matured),
AU (after Endless Waltz)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own these GW bishonen . . . . damn!
Feedback: PLEASE?!
E-mail: drakon_sword@yahoo.com
Summary: Can Wufei and Trowa get over themselves and their fear to admit their feelings and
get together?

~*@*~

The war was over. Mariemaya was safe in Lady Une's care. Preventers were in full swing
as the ex-Gundam pilots tempted to have somewhat of a normal life. Some leaving to find
themselves, and what they wanted. Others already stepping into there awaiting lives.

After the Mariemaya incident, Heero left for a short time, or everyone thought. He finally
came out, half a year later, joined the Preventers, and became Relena's body guard. Though the
only difference this time is that he was seen, and he was getting paid. Bonus! Though all that
mattered to him is that he fulfilling his mission, protecting Relena, helping protect the peace they
fought hard for. That's what he said, anyway.

Duo went back to L2 with his new friend, Hilde Schiebecker, and together they started a
sweeper business. No one was sure of the relationship between them but, they seemed to get
along perfectly. Though he also joined the Preventers, on call. If he was needed for an emergency
they would call, and he would help out with the other pilots.

Quatre went back to his business, his 29 sisters, and his Manguancs. Mind you, he also
joined the Preventers, on call. To him it was his way of keeping in touch with everyone.

Noin, and Zechs, or Millardo Peacecraft, went to Mars, or at least that was everyone
guessed. They knew that they would return one day.

Dorothy on the other hand disappeared for a short time like Heero but, then came to
Relena and begged for her forgiveness before Heero did. Relena was more than happy to embrace
her, and made Dorothy her assistant.

As for Trowa, and Wufei, they also joined the Preventers but, as officers. They joined
full-time to help Lady Une. Also they both, like Heero, didn't really know anything other than
being a solider. That was who they were.

Mind you, Catherine wasn't really pleased with losing her target but, let her little brother
go as long as he promised to keep in touch. Trowa being obedient, nodded and continued on his
way.

That was where he was now. He was sitting in his office behind his wooden desk which
was facing the door. On his left was a small window, which was open letting the cool late April
breeze blow in. He sat staring at his computer with unseeing his eyes. So many things were
running through his head.

He changed quite a bit over the year or so. He had just turned 18 a few months before, at
the beginning of the new year, and was 6'2''. Though since the war like the rest of the pilots he
looked the same. Maybe a little broader, and muscled but, for the most part he was still the same
Trowa Barton, Gundam pilot 03, of Heavyarms. Though inside he had changed.

If he really thought about it, he had changed. He talked, and communicated more. He still
enjoyed his solitude, especially the conversations with Wufei. They would sit on the balcony of
the apartment they shared, drink coffee, and discuss. Wufei was also a philosopher to a degree,
and they enjoyed talking about philosophy or other conversations.

They shared an apartment because they were placed as partners, and there wasn't enough
apartments for everyone to have their own because of all the new recruits, and the areas were still
under heavy construction. Lady Une suggested that they share since they have lived together
before, and they were partners. Both Wufei, and Trowa didn't exactly flip in joy but, accepted.
Their relationship was mutual during the war.

Wufei was hard to get along with because of his stiff, and stern attitude, that was rapidly
changing since the war. He talked more, showed more emotion, and positive feelings. He still
held honour, and justice close to his heart but, that would never change.

Trowa on the other hand just talked more. Like Wufei, and Heero he started to show more
emotion. He started showing how he felt instead of hiding behind the mask. Though he hid
behind the mask for it was his security blanket. If he didn't trust you, or didn't want to show how
he felt, he hid.

That was what he was doing now. He was staring at his blank computer, emotionlessly.
He wasn't sure how to feel or act. Something had changed between him, and Wufei on Tuesday,
over a week ago, for it was Wednesday evening the week after. Trowa worked on weekends and
went out to avoid Wufei. Though Wufei seemed to be avoiding him as well. It hurt. Trowa really
didn't want to go home to the quiet apartment. Wufei would be mediating in his room, and
Trowa would sit around, and fuss. Jumping at every sound, and creak. He was a nervous wreck.
At work, and at home.

He wasn't sure really what to think, or believe. While he was on a mission with Wufei,
something . . . . happened. He couldn't explain why? How? When? It just did, and it felt right but
. . . Wufei pulled away, and has stayed away since.

~*FLASHBACK*~

Trowa, and Wufei were driving down the dirt roads in a black jeep, towards a supposedly
abandon factory. They were to check it out, and come back to report. Nothing too hard.
Especially since they were ex-Gundam pilots.

Trowa looked at Wufei from the corner of his eye in the passenger seat. Wufei was sitting
back comfortably though slightly agitated, as he switched gears on the dirt road. It was early
morning so the sun still hadn't shone, though clouds were hanging overhead so they may not
even get a ray of sunshine, even when the sun is supposed to be out.

Wufei was still the same as he was during the wars. His ebony black hair was tied back in
a small ponytail. His olive skin was oval face, with slanted, obviously Chinese, onyx eyes. He
had grown taller to be 5'11'' or so. He was muscular from his martial arts, and kata training. His
shoulders had gotten a little broader, and maturer but, other than that, he was the same.

Trowa noticed a glimmer of impatience and slight annoyance run through Wufei's onyx
eyes. Trowa slowly shifted to look at Wufei, with his arms crossed. His green eye studying him.

"Something the matter, Wufei?" Trowa asked, brushing the bang of mustard brown bang
that hung in his left eye. It moved with his hand but, flipped back to its original place. Trowa
noticed Wufei jaw tighten as he turned to miss a pothole in the road.

"Hn." Wufei grunted. Trowa waited patiently. He knew that Wufei would say what was
on his mind, it just took time. "I'm not sure why that onna is sending us out to search this
abandon factory." Wufei said finally, grumbling.

"Une said it was better to be safe than sorry." Trowa stated looking out the windshield
again. He heard Wufei grunt in displeasure.

"Why send us? I mean, this is trivial! Anyone can do it! She could have easily sent some
other recruits!" Wufei muttered. Trowa sighed, slightly.

"Do we reallve ave anything immediate to do? And what if the rumour wasn't a rumour?
Besides all the recruits were given missions. We happened to finish our other mission early."
Trowa said simply. He received no answer. He was right, and Wufei always had of shutting up
when he was bettered. Sometimes.

"It could have waited for some else couldn't it?" Wufei said, almost childishly. Trowa
knew that no matter how much Wufei complained he really enjoyed getting out of the stuffy
office, like he did. Wufei just didn't like having a woman in charge. Wufei wasn't racist but, he
had a lot of bad experiences with women. Meirin being the worst. No one could competite with
her strength.

"I suppose. Besides, it's nice getting out of the stuffy office. Quite frankly, this to me is a
good excuse." Trowa said, leaning his head back on the headrest, and closing his eyes.

"Hn." Wufei grunted again. Trowa smirked, but said nothing. "I suppose. Though this is
pointless, and weak." Wufei muttered under his breath.

"All the better." Trowa murmured. He liked Wufei. He had deeper feeling for him but, he
wasn't sure if Wufei would approve or if he was gay. So sticking with the friendship that had
grown over time, he stayed with Wufei.

Wufei looked over at the tall pilot. His hair covering the long face with emerald green
eyes. Wufei felt his breath quicken as he looked down his friend. He had deep feelings for
Trowa. Wufei was unsure though. He was afraid of getting hurt, though he would never admit it.
That was why he was so hard to get along with during the war. It was his cover. His security
blanket.

Long ago when he was 14 he was engaged to Meirin. She was a full blood Chinese, and
chosen by the clan to be his mate. He married Meirin following the tradition of his clan. He cared
for her, but didn't love her. Not till after he lost her.

She was very demanding, and could be selfish, and conceited. She was strong, and
insisted on being called Nakatu. For she knew she was strong, but unfortunately she was only
physically strong. She wasn't stronger than him, but strong for a woman. Though she wasn't very
strong mentally. Which she ridiculed Wufei for. Him wanting to be a scholar rather than a
warrior, which she trained everyday for.

He stayed with her through all her teasing, though really they became friends. He never
really felt attracted to her, and it never was more than friends. She had accused him, teasingly,
that he was gay. She didn't mean it, but it strung a truth in his heart. It may have been why he
never really felt anything for her, no matter how pretty she was.

After his colony blew up, and she was dead, he felt remorse. He felt that he failed her, and
should have tired to save her. He had failed to save her, and it was his duty not only as her
husband, but as a friend, to protect her. Feeling the failure, he carried her memories, of the good
and bad times, and her beliefs with him. This way he never forget, or fail again.

Wufei turned to look at Trowa who was resting peacefully. Maybe it was time to move
on, and forget. Maybe it was okay now. He had grieved for her, and he had gotten revenge. The
war was over, and peace was ranging over. He was still fighting to keep peace but, maybe it was
time to let Meirin go. He did need her anymore, and the person he wanted, and needed was
beside him. Yes. It was time but, how could he let Trowa know how he felt? What if Trowa
rejected him? And then he would lose everything. So many worries . . .

Wufei mused about his past, present, and future as he continued to drive towards the
factory. They were going to go to a cabin where an old couple went on vacation often, and hike
up to a cliff that overlooked the factory. There they were going to sit, and wait. They were to
report what they found after 8 hours.

If they saw nothing they were to report, then go down, and inspect it. If they saw
something report it, and come back for other plans. Depending on what it was.

Wufei turned left when he saw the road they needed, and drove up the driveway.
Branches of trees, and brushes scrapped against the windows, and sides of the jeep. This stirred
Trowa with a yawn. It seems he had fallen asleep.

"Lazy." Wufei murmured, as Trowa stretched his arms towards the roof of the jeep.
Trowa chuckled, and rolled his shoulders.

"I take it we are here." Trowa stated more then asking as Wufei parked the car beside the
cabin. Wufei grunted.

"The couple has left and went back to town to there home. They said we could stay the
night, and use whatever we want, if we please." Wufei stated, remembering Sally's small report
abohe che couple, while Trowa was getting the equipment, before they left. "Though personally
myself, I liked to get back as soon as possible." Wufei said, turning off the car.

"I agree." Trowa said, looking at his watch. It was 6:30am, and it was obviously going to
be a cloudy day. He sighed, and watched Wufei get out. "I think the couple gave us the option to
use it in case of an emergency." Trowa said as he got out, and went to the back of the jeep, where
Wufei was already pulling out their packs, and gear.

"I don't think we will need it but, as you said, 'Better to be safe than sorry.'" Wufei said,
sighing. Trowa just gave him a smile, that made Wufei heart skip a beat, and picked up his
backpack.

"Shall we go?" Wufei asked, covering his sudden desires, as Trowa threw on his green
windbreaker over his white T-shirt. Trowa wore jeans, and hiking boots, as did Wufei for the
hiking they would have to do. The Preventers uniform was not exactly practical.

"Let's." Trowa said then throwing on his pack. Wufei was already ready. He had his blue
thin jacket over his black tank top, and his back pack on with the equipment.

"Hn." Wufei grunted in agreement, as they started through the bush. It took them an hour
to walk up, and down hills. Step over rocks, boulders, and trees. Silence the whole way other
than their breathing, the rustle of bushes, snaps of twigs, and the natural noise of the woods. Both
Wufei, and Trowa enjoyed the wilderness, and liked the silence. It was a mutual understanding
that speaking wasn't necessary.

They finally came to the end of the cliff. They looked over the edge to look down
hundreds of feet. The factory lay below, with no obvious activity. The building looked ruined as
it did years ago, after the fire. Wufei looked like he was right. It was a rumour but, they may as
well make a report, and enjoy the scenery while they were there.

"Hn." Wufei grunted as he put his sack down on the dew-covered grass. There was a
small clearing of bushing at the end of the cliff, so Trowa pulled out a blanket from his bag, and
set in down upon the grass from them to sit on.

"It looks the same as it did years before." Trowa said after they had sat down, and leaned
back against a tree trunk near the edge do he could still see.

"I told you." Wufei muttered as he pulled out binoculars, and other gear. Trowa groaned
lightly, and leaned his head back against the tree trunk.

"Don't even think about sleeping, again. You are incredibly lazy, Barton." Wufei
muttered as he looked down at the factory, with the binoculars, not glancing at Trowa.

Trowa sighed. Wufei knew him too well. With a shrug Trowa pulled out a book he
brought, and flipped to the chapter he was at, and started to read. At least he wasn't sleeping.

While Trowa read, Wufei mediated. Both giving the occasional glance down below, and
kept an ear out for any activity. Both were very quiet as they often were at home. Talking wasn't
always necessary for these two. When it was, they did and had strong, intellectual conversations,
or debates together.

Later they pulled out the lunch they packed but, were still silent. After Wufei tried to
mediate but, a green eyed ex-Gundam pilot kept interrupting his concentration like it had before.
He saw daydreams of him, and Trowa together and loving. Trying his best to concentrate, he
went back to his mediating with constant interruptions in his own mind.

Trowa, on the other hand, was bored from his book, and was pretending to read but
studied his partner from under his bang of hair. One reason why he never changed his hairstyle,
not that he could. It naturally went that way. Though of course unknowing, that the other was
having warm, loving thoughts about the other. Why couldn't it be so easy?

Wufei was in the middle of a warm daydream, which he did consider weak but, he was
bored. He was interrupted by Trowa who called his name.

"Wufei? Wufei, I think I see someone down there." Trowa said, quietly to rose him gently
out of his mediation. Also, not to gain any attention of the people below.

Wufei opened his eyes to look into the green one that was glancing at him. Trowa then
turned back to the binoculars he was holding. He adjusted them to look below. Wufei looked and
saw a gang of about 13 people walking to the abandon, and burnt factory.

"What do you see?" Wufei asked as he came up beside Trowa on his knees, near the
edge. Trowa sat crossed legged also near the edge, and handed him the binoculars.

Wufei looked out, and saw the gang standing near the door, moving some of the wooden
panels aside. They looked to be about their age, and younger. Maybe a few older ones, dressed in
black clothing. Long, old coats, silver jewellery, and long hair.

"I think it's just a gang looking for a place to sleep, and shot up." Trowa muttered as
Wufei looked at them below.

"Hn." Wufei grunted, disgusted. All this way for nothing, though essentially they figured
that out earlier, when they first arrived.

Suddenly as Wufei adjusted on his knees, watching the gang slowly disappear into the
factory, the ground below him start to give way. With a startled gasp he started to sink as the
rocks below him fell. He tired grabbing something, dropping the binoculars but, had not avail. He
was going to drop to his death.

Suddenly his left out stretched hand was ceased, and he was dangling by that grip. He
watched the broken rocks tumble down the cliff, with the binoculars he dropped. Watching as it
rolled down, and smashed to pieces as it made contact with the side of the cliff as they made their
way down. If that was him, he would have broken bones before he touched the bottom. Through
confused, and dazed Wufei titled his head to look up. There was Trowa holding his hand, braced
along the edge.

"T-Trowa . . .?" Wufei stuttered with fear, and confusion. Also, a bit of pain from
scrapping the side.

Trowa said nothing but, in his green eyes was worry, relief, and fear. Quietly, quickly,
and smoothly, Trowa pulled Wufei up. Wufei tried to help but his limps were stiff. He liked the
rest of the pilots, didn't fear his death but, that was in a mobile suit, or by a gun. Not by dropping
hundreds of feet down a cliff. Not to mention Wufei did have a bit of vertigo.

"Wufei, are you all right?" Trowa asked, his voice betraying his fear, worrworry. He was
just as scared as Wufei was. If not more.

"H-hai." Wufei said, hoarsely. Trowa let out a pent out breath in relief. Suddenly Wufei
found himself in Trowa's embrace. Something he dreamed of for a long time but, too confused,
and disoriented to return it.

"Kisama! Don't ever do that again!" Trowa said, his voice strained with emotion. Wufei
then hugged Trowa back but, pulled away to look at Trowa's face.

Wufei saw the care, worry, and fear for him, deep in the emerald depths. Wufei felt as
though he was drowning, not that it mattered.

Suddenly he saw Trowa leaning close to him. He could feel Trowa's warm breath
caressing his face. Then Trowa's lips touched his, gently, unsure. Wufei was to stunned to react,
and stood stiffly in Trowa's warm embrace.

Trowa wasn't sure what the hell he was doing. All he knew that he almost lost the most
important person in his life. If it wasn't for his fast reflexes, he may have lost him. It felt good to
finally hold him, and he needed more. More reassurance that he was alive, and that Wufei was
still in front of him, and in his life.

Trowa then leaned towards Wufand and touched his lips, to Wufei's, unsure of the
reaction. At first there was none but, it felt nice, and warm. Most importantly alive. He needed
Wufei. More than he could explain or understand. Though as he kissed Wufei, he still had the
fear that maybe he was pushing it. He went to pull away but, he felfei fei move his hands to rest
upon his shoulders.

He then felt Wufei begin to warm up to his touch, and return to the kiss. He felt Wufei's
body press against his, and deepen the kiss. Trowa then let his tongue play at Wufei's lips,
bedding them to open.

Wufei felt Trowa's gentle tongue stroke his lower lip, bedding entrance. Wufei responded
instantly, and opened to feel Trowa's tongue caress, and discovery his mouth. The caress was
mind bogging. Wufei gripped Trowa's shoulders tighter in response to his kiss.

Suddenly surprising them both, making them jump apart, a cell phone rang. Both hearts
were racing, and both bodies were mourning the los of the warmth. Trowa gained control, and his
thoughts first, pulled out the cell phone, and answered it.

"Barton here." Trowa said, impassively. Though his heart was still pacing, and he was
still a little breathless. He could hear Wufei gathering the blanket, and other things as he spoke.

"Trowa. How is everything?" Sally Po's voice rang through the phone. Trowa almost
cursed her for interrupting but, what exactly what was she interrupting anyway?

"Sally. Everything is fine, . . .or almost." Trowid, id, looking at Wufei who was avoiding
his eyes. He was fiddling with his hands, as he stood with his pack on. Trowa could see that his
face was pale, and his lips were red, and swollen from the kiss. Overall Wufei looked like a
nervous wreck. "Wufei, and I are going to head back now. We'll explain once we get back."
Trowa explained turning away, again.

"Is something wrong? Who's hurt?" Sally asked concerned. Trowa muffled a sigh. He
really liked Sally but, sometimes she was so . . . doctorish.

"Nothing serious." Trowa said, and again he looked a Wufei. A pain started to edge in his
heart, as Wufei ignored him.

"Fine. Hurry back. About what time?" Sally asked. Trowa looked at his watch. It was
2:12pm. A hour to get back to the car, and a over hour drive . . .

"About 4:30 or so." Trowa said, again looking at Wufei who now had his back turned to
him. Trowa placed his emotionless face on. It started to seem that Wufei regretted the kiss and
wished that it didn't happen. This made this constriction in his chest, that he couldn't begin to
explain.

"All right. See you then." Sally said, hanging up.

"Right." Trowa said, also hanging up. He placed the cell phone in his bag, and put the bag
on his back. "Let's go." Trowa said, touching Wufei's arm. Wufei flinched at his touch so Trowa
removed it, and they started to walk down back to the car.

Wuf Wufei was unsure what happened. He liked the kiss but, what if Trowa only did it
because he was scared for him? What if it was a pity embrace? He didn't want pity. He wanted
Trowa's love. Trowa didn't mean it. He did it to comfort Wufei. Yes, Wufei would like comfort,
but only if Trowa meant it, and loved him.

Wufei figured it out. Trowa didn't mean it, and Wufei had promptly made a fool of
himself. He was going to lose Trowa because of his own foolishness. He was a weakling. He
made a grave error, and he was going to hate himself till the day he died.

Trowa figured that Wufei didn't feel that way about him, and only accepted the kiss at the
time because he was still in shock about almost falling off the cliff. He had taken advantage of
him. He had made a fool of himself, and probably lost one of his best friends.

Trowa unlocked the car when they got there, and threw his pack in the back. Wufei came
up beside him, and did the same. Trowa was angry witmselmself, and threw his damp
windbreaker also in the back. He then slammed the trunk closed. He noticed Wufei flinch at the
crash of truntrunk slamming. Trowa instantly regretted it.

"I'll drive." Trowa said. It would help him cool off, and gain his thoughts. Besides Wufei
was probably still in slight shock to drive.

"All right." Wufei murmured weakly. Trowa hated him. He was sure of it. He thought
that maybe he was disgusted but, as he slammed around he was positive that Trowa hated him.
He had officially lost his best friend, and partner.

Trowa sped off down the dirt road as dust flew around. Trowa could see Wufei resting in
the passenger seat. How he hated himself, and regretted what he did. He had taken advantage of
the situation, and lost a good friend.

~*END OF FLASHBACK*~

Trowa sighed. When they had gotten back, Trowa explained the situation, and Wufei
went with Sally who gave him a shot to calm his nerves. They then took him back to their
apartment to rest, and Une said she let someone else on the case but, still wanted a report from
both of them. Though they had to notice that the relationship between them changed, for the bad.
Wufei flinched with every touch from Trowa, and avoided him. Trowa on the other hand was
angry. You could see it in his eyes. Though wisely Une, and Sally said nothing, and left it be.

Trowa sighed again, and rubbed his temples. Since that day Wufei avoided him, and
stayed in his room to mediate by the time he came home. Which was usual after 8. Just like now.
It was quatre to 7, and he was now making his way back home. Or what he used to call home.
Now it just seemed like an empty apartment.

Trowa missed the talks they would have. Or the nights they would sit, quietly in front of
the TV watching A&E, or the History Channel, or any other channel that had something
interesting on. He missed Wufei helping him wash the dishes, and his food. He even missed his
rude remarks, or his rantings about 'honour' and 'justice.'

Trowa shut off his computer, shut off his light, and left the quiet but, almost emptied
office. He made his way home, and stepped into the apartment. The kitchen light was on but,
nothing else. No noise, or any movement. With a sigh he walked down to his room, across from
Wufei's and opened the door. Before he disappeared into roomroom to read a book he looked
longingly at the door to Wufei's room. He still heard nothing, and then quietly went into his
room to curl up with a book . . . again.

~*@*~

The next morning Wufei woke up, or got up. He hadn'tn sln sleeping to well at night.
Maybe because he was mediating in his room all the time. With a groan he got up, showered, and
dressed. It was 7:09am, and Trowa hadn't moved yet. Wufei knew that because he left early to
avoid Trowa. He felt guilty, and unworthy of anything. He had lost his good friend, and his
possible love.

That was one reason why he was leaving early. He had to see Lady Une today about
getting his own apartment. He couldn't do it anymore, and frankly, Trowa probably couldn't
either. Trowa was probably wishing, and praying that he leave, and get out of his hair. He must
be up all night, and locking his door, to be safe. Probably afraid that he was going to come in and
ravish him.

With a groan of disgust, he made a pot of green tea, grabbed a cup of it to go, and a
blueberry muffin. As eft,eft, he heard Trowa get up, and go to the washroom. As he made his
way out eating his muffin, and sipping his steaming tea, he heard the shower start. With a
relieved sigh he left making his way to the office.

It was quiet in the office. It was just a little after 7:30, and the Preventers didn't start for
another hour. Some officers would come in early like him to finish work, and they were there
but, the number was small. He went into his office still sipping his green tea, and went to
working on her paper work.

It was about 8:30, he saw Trowa walked by his office towards his own. He looked a little
frazzled, and unrested. Clutched in his hand was a hot, steaming cup of black coffee. He looked
tired, and jumpy. For someone dropped their stapler on the desk, and Trowa jumped a mile.
Spilling some coffee on the grey tile below.

He heard Trowa grumble, and grab a wad of tissues from the nearest desk, and sop up the
spilled coffee. Then Trowa rolled his shoulders trying to loosen what seemed his tight muscles,
and nerves as he walked to his office with an emotionless face.

That's it! Wufei thought ruefully. He had to get out. Trowa was never jumpy. He was
always aware what was happening around him. He never was intense. He was easy going, and he
was serious. He also never talked to himself, or spilled his drink, unless he was bumped into.
Even then it was uncommon. This was all happening because of him. Trowa wouldn't be like
that unless he was worried about him.

With his mind made up, he worked, and waited till around lunch. Then he walked to
Une's office. He was going to demand his own apartment.

"Hello Mr. Chang. May I help you?" Leah Mathews, Lady Une's secretary asked as he
entered the small waiting room, or the secretary's office.

"Is Une in?" Wufei asked, stiffly. He saw an admiring glance in her eyes, and inwardly
cringed.

Leah was good looking. She had blond hair that was tied tight in a french twist, and a
navy pants suit on with a white blouse on her slim body. She was indeed good looking, but he
wasn't attracted to her, or any woman. It also reminded him of what he felt for Trowa, and why
he was here now.

"Yes . . . " she started to say but, Wufei walked over to the door, and opened it. Wufei
looked in to see Sally sitting across from Lady Une sitting at her desk.

"Chang Wufei, can you knock?" Une asked, looking slightly amused, yet stern.ly
ly
smiled sweetly at him, but Wufei said nothing, and walked in shutting the door behind him.

"Is something wrong, Wufei?" Sally asked concerned as Wufei stood by the door, looking
expressionlessly. Though in his onyx eyes were anger, sorrow, and a longing.

"I want to move out of my apartment that I am sharing with Barton." Wufei said Trowa's
last name quietly, but was able to keep it loud enough for the two women to hear.

"May I ask why?" Une asked, standing up behind her desk. She gripped the desk, concern
flashing through her eyes. Again Wufei inwardly cringed.

"It just isn't working out. I would like to have my own apartment, is that possible?"
Wufei asked sternly, with his hands gripped behind his back, watching the two women exchange
glances of concern.

"I suppose." Une drawled, as Sally stood up. Wufei looked between them. "I have a few
open ones. I suppose you could move into the other tomorrow. I'll have Leah get the information,
and forms." Une said, carefully, eyeing Sally. The look was 'find out what the fuck is going on!'

After Une left and shut the door, talking to her secretary Leah, Sally spoke up. Wufei
inwardly sighed, wishing it could have been easier than this, and that Sally wasn't here but, he
kept his face impassive, and took it as it came.

"What is going on Wufei? Why are you all of a sudden moving out? Did you and Trowa
have a fight? If you did, this is a little drastic, don't you think?" Sally said walking closer to
Wufei. Wufei inwardly sighed.

"Trowa and I are not getting along like we used to. We have changed. He, and I agree that
I should move out. So please, bud out." Wufei said, monotone. He was lying, slightly. Trowa
never said he wanted him to move out but, it was obvious he didn't like having Wufei there. That
was why he was working late, on weekends, and spending the rest of his time in his room. Their
friendship was lost.

"So this is your solution?" Sally asked, sceptical. Wufei glared at her. He was tired of all
this questioning, he was leaving.

"Look onna. I am moving out because Trowa and I aren't friends anymore. We haven't
been friends for over a week. Just leave me, and him alone. This is our decision, and no one
else's." Wufei growled, stepping out.

After filling out the forms he went home, and started to pack most of his belongings the
whole time he had a heavy, constricting feeling in his heart.

~*@*~

Trowa came home early that evening, or rather, afternoon. Firstly because he had no
work, and secondly, it was time he, and Wufei had a talk. He walked down the hallway, and
noticed a few boxes in the doorway as he entered.

Confused, Trowa walked in, and saw Wufei packing a few items into another box. Wufei
heard him, and spun around. Trowa was too confused to see the longing in Wufei's deep onyx
eyes. Trowa just removed his coat, and stared at the boxes.

"Wufei . . . . .what's this?" Trowa asked, putting his coat on the back of a kitchen chair as
he watched Wufei pack. He was confused, yet felt a sense of doom because he had an idea what
was going on.

Wufei stiffened as he reached up for the tea. Wufei knew that this would come but, he felt
his heart breaking. He really didn't want to go. He secretly wished the Trowa would tell him that
he loved him, and beg him to stay. Though he knew that wouldn't happen. So he was doing this
for the best of him, and Trowa.

"I'm moving out." Wufei said, not looking at Trowa as he placed the tea pot, and tea in a
small box on the kitchen table. If he did look he would see the pain, longing, and sorrow in
Trowa's eyes as he heard the truth. The truth that he feared.

" . . . . . .oh . . . . ." Trowa said, simply. He couldn't bear this pain in his chest, it was
overwhelming. Wufei wouldn't look at him as the silence fell between them. "Tonight?" Trowa
finally asked.

"Yes." Wufei nodded as he returned to the cupboard. He was still stiff, and prayed Trowa
would leave to make it easier on him. "I moving upstairs. This is my lbox.box. Une said she
would look into getting us new partners." Wufei said, monotone, though it hurt to say every
word.

Trowa twitched as he felt his world fall apart. He felt his lips thin out. He had lost his
good friend, and his love. Just because he couldn't restrain himself. Stupid. Stupid! STUPID!!

"Hn." was all Trowa could say in reply. Stiffly, and quietly he walked to his room. He
shut the door, and grabbed his book. Refusing to feel anything he read, though something started
to blur his vision. He hastily whipped at the tears. He wasn't going to cry. There was no way!

He did, and curled into a ball on his bed. Crying himself to sleep as he heard Wufei leave
for the last time. He would never see the Chinese man again. Not the way he wanted. Not as a
partner, friend, or lover.

~*@*~

It had been a month. A whole month since Wufei had moved out. And Trowa was not
feeling any better. He wasn't jumpy, or a nervous wreck anymore. Instead he created his shell of
indifference again. He turned back into the stoic, silent pilot.

Wufei's promise was fulfilled. They weren't partners anymore. Instead they took a new
partner every few days or so, and trained them. Une didn't seem to want to permanently put them
anywhere. She had an idea that the two would get over this lapse, and work together again.

Trowa scoffed at that. There was no way. Wufei hated him, and ignored him. This broke
his heart though he should not outward emotion to prove the fact. Wufei went back to pushing
people away like he did before. They had both closed back into their shells. Not a huge fucking
surprise.

Though Trowa did show his surprise when the famous, perfect solider, Heero Yuy
entered his office.

"Heero? What are you doing here?" Trowa asked as he frowned at the tall, lean figure.
Heero was dressed casually in jeans, his green tank top, and jean jacket. No big surprise. Not to
mention his emotionless face was in place, as his deep prussian blue eyes studying Trowa.

"Trowa." Was all he said, the familiar deep, monotone voice. So cold yet so warm. Trowa
never really understood Heero, but respected him. Over time the two had become fairly close
during the war, after Heero self-destructed. Heero knew him the best, and he knew Heero the best
really anyone could, he supposed.

Trowa said, nothing and leaned back in his chair crossing his arms as Heero stayed in his
position. Leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. Trowa patiently waited for Heero
to get to the point.

"I came to talk to you." Trowa arched an eyebrow. Heero was blunt, yet he also had a
habit of stating the obvious.

"So-o . . . . . . .?" Trowa drawled. Heero shifted impatiently. He sighed, and rubbed the
bridge of his nose. Heero knew it wasn't going to be easy.

"Come. We will go out for some lunch. My treat." Heero stated, walking out. Trowa sat
for a few moments, considering his options. Also why the hell Heero was here? Wasn't he
supposed to be with Relena?

"Now." Heero's head poked back in. The demand clear in his tone, as his eyes were
piercing as his unruly chocolate strands only obscured the obvious, Yuy death glare, only a little.
Trowa held a groan, grabbed his coat, and followed the demanding ex-Wing pilot.

"Aren't you supposed to be protecting Relena?" Trowa asked as they walked through the
building going downstairs.

"No. She is at the Winner's, visiting Quatre. There is some meeting at L4. Wufei is with
her. I have a few days off. I thought you knew." Heero said, glancing at Trowa who was slightly
behind him.

"No. I didn't know." Trowa said, stiffly. He could feel the rush of emotions he had tired
to rid over the past month.

Silence fell between the two silent ps ass as they walked downtown. It was a nice day but,
still a little cool since the sun was in. They walked as people passed. Many recognizing them,
others just enjoying the view.

Heero directed Trowa to a small, but clean dinner. They entered, and removed their coats,
looking over the fairly empty dinner. That was why Heero had chosen it. It was fairly empty.
Better for talking. Not to mention they were good, and not expensive.

"What happened between you, and Wufei?" Heero finally asked, blunt as ever, after they
sat in a small booth, ordering their meals.

Trowa glared at him, and picked up a newspaper that was resting on the seat. He
pretended to read, though it was ripped from his hands before he could begin to pretend. Prussian
blue eyes stared at him evenly. Trowa returned it but, was slowly losing. Heero was always so
much better, and colder. Not to mention Trowa was feeling a little overwhelmed lately.

"What happened with Wufei?" Heero asked again. Placing the newspaper aside but, not
breaking his staring contest with Trowa.

"What do you mean?" Trowa asked evenly back. He knew bloody well what Heero meant
but, he really didn't want to share. Though Heero was the only person he could really talk to
during the war. Yes, there was Quatre but, Quatre was untouched. He didn't understand the
pains, confusion, and only knowing, and being a solider, Heero did. Thus making them close
friends.

"You know fucking will what I mean! I talking about him moving out, changing partners,
and now not speaking to each other at all, unlet ist is completely necessary! What happened?"
Heero asked, tapping the table with his index finger, hard as he stared at Trowa.

Heero had been talked to Sally a week before. She told him everything she knew, and
Heero was perplexed. As long as he could remember Trowa had always had favoured thhinehinese pilot. Wufei on the other hand seemed to admire Trowa as well. The two seemed evenly
matched, though nothing ever happened. Not till they went to the Preventers. He heard that they
had moved in together, and were quite close friends, and partners.

Now Wufei had moved out after a mission that Trowa, and he would refuse to tell the
details. It seemed to be about a week after they were out of character, and would look, longing at
each other. Then Wufei moved out, they requested new partners, and hadn't spoken to each
other, except for business, for a month.

It was clear that something had happened but, neither would say a word. Heero had
already talked to Wufei, and Wufei didn't say much but, Heero had an idea what was going in his
head. Now to find out what happened, and what was going through Trowa's head. Then maybe
something could be done.

"i ani and I felt that we had enough of each other, and needed a change." Trowa said,
shrugging his shoulders like it was nothing. Though Trowa could feel the common pain in his
chest, again.

"Bullshit!" Heero said glaring. Trowa looked away, and out the window. Not before
Heero saw the flash of pain cross his eyes. Heero tentatively reached out, and touched Trowa's
arm, causing to lto look back to Heero. "What happened?" Heero whispered.

"Does it really matter?" Trowa asked quietly, looking straight at Heero. His face was
impassive but, his green eyes were swirling with deep emotions. All passing before Heero could
read them.

"You tell me." Heero said, as his hand rested on Trowa's. Trowa didn't move, or waver
his eyes from Heero's. "Trowa, I know you are in pain. I consider you one of my closest friends.
You, and Duo are my best friends, and the first people I would turn to. I hope you feel the same,
and would do the same when necessary. I am here, and always will be." Heero said, care, and
warmth in his features. Trowa felt his chest constrict with emotion. Heero really cared, and the
thought of Wufei was overwhelming. For his best friends were Heero, and till lately, Wufei.

"You are a good friend Heero but, I not sure if I want to drag you into this . . . . . mess."
Trowa said, shaking his head as he titled it down. He heard Heero sigh.

"Trowa, I'm not stupid, and I know you. You, and are a lot alike. I know you have had a
crush on Wufei for a longtime. Then something happened, causing you both to pull away. What
happened?" Heero asked again, his voice still soft but the demand still there. He was worried for
his friend but, he needed to get it out. He knew that Trowa had a habit of hiding it all away to
fester. He knew Trowa as well as he trusted his emotions.

Trowa sighed, and rubbed his forehead as the waitress gave them their meals as Heero
removed his hand. She favoured the two with warm smiles. Heero rested the urge to give her his
patent death glare for interrupting them, and gave her a nod. Trowa just ignored her. He was to
lost in his thought to really care.

Should I tell him? He knows that I care for Wufei. He is one, or rather, my only close,
and good friend. What harm would it do? Other than opening the wound, and rubbing salt in it.
However, lately I have been doing that to myself, everyday. Everything I do reminds me of him.
Trowa argued with himself. He looked at Heero was looking at him expectantly.

"So-o . . . . . . what happened on the mission?" Heero asked, folding his hands, waiting.
Trowa ate a little of his meal, trying his best to gain control. Heero waited patiently, knowing that
Trowa was gathering his thoughts, and wits.

"The mission went as normal. Talking, arguing, debating, and companionship but, I took
our friendship a step too far. I was selfish, and paid for it causing him to pull away. I took a step
too far, and then fell down the staircase." Trowa said, taking a drink of his tea.

"What do you mean? What happened, exactly?" Heero asked, giving Trowa his full
attention as he ate his meal.

"He almost fell down the cliff. I was able to grab him, and save him. He was in shock,
and I was overwhelmed with emotions with almost losing him. I-I . . . . I kissed him, and at first
he returned it but, I know now, he did it because he was in shock. After he pulled away, and was
timid around me. He avoided me, and winced away from me. I realized I fucked up. I lost him all
together. I royally fucked up!" Trowa spat at himself. The most emotion he had shown in the
past month.

Heero was a loss. He got the impression whenever he saw the two, they were close, and
the affection was not one-sided. Wufei seemed to appreciate, and care for Trowa as much as
Trowa did, or rather does. Not to mention when he talked to Wufei, he could see the care he felt
for the ex-Heavyarms pilot. Then what exactly was Wufei thinking? Why did he pull away when
he had Trowa? Trowa finally reveals his feelings, and Wufei runs away?!

"Wufei ran, and so did you." Heero stated, not hiding the anger. Trowa was being a fool
for not following because Heero could see now that Wufei had a fear. He was also mad at the
Chinese pilot. He was so goddamn righteous but, he couldn't stick around and be honest? Isn't
that dishonourable?

Trowa snapped his head to look at Heero. He could see the anger flashing in Heero's
eyes. He knew that it wasn't all directed at him. Heero had become very passionate overtime. He
was slowly learning to be human, and leave the perfect solider. Normally Trowa would be happy
to see the pure emotions rage out from Heero but, he was already a wreck as it was.

"I suppose." Trowa answered eating a bit of his meal as Heero snorted in disgust. "I tired
to talk to him one night but, he was leaving that night. I knew at that moment that there was no
point in talking to him. He was thoroughly disgusted with me, and wanted out. I, frankly, was not
going to stand in his way. I am not going to force him to talk to me, or try and work this out."
Trowa said, shrugging. Trying his best to hide the pain. He was doing pretty well.

"Coward." Heero scoffed. Trowa thinned his lips, and continued eating. "You ran away
because you were afraid of rejection. You can fight in a mobile suit, knowing that your chances
of living are 1 in a million but, as soon as it comes to your emotions, you run. You, Barton, are a
coward. A coward of your emotions." Heero growled, glaring at Trowa.

"You, Yuy, are a cold-hearted bastard. You just don't understand, and never will
understand the matters of the heart!" Trowa spat back. He glared at Heero, stood up, and
grabbed his jacket. With the grace of a cat, he threw on his jack, and quickly made his way out of
the dinner.

Heero sighed, and rubbed his temples, clenching his eyes shut. He swore under his breath,
and ran a hand threw his hair. Quickly getting up to follow, he threw some bills on the table,
grabbed his coat, and left. Jogging after Trowa, regretting his words, though he knew that they
had to get out.

Trowa needed the truth, and he had made Trowa react. Trowa could be so cold, and
heartless sometimes, like he was, that he needed to be challenged to bring him out. This was one
of those occasions. Heero had succeeded.

Trowa stuffed his hands on his pockets, and stiffly made his way down the street. His
head titled down, as he scowled at the sidewalk, muttering under his breath. He was angry.
Royally pissed.

"Fucking bastard! What the fuck does he think he knows! I am not a coward! I just . . . . .
I . . . . ." Trowa stopped in the path way of the park, and blinked. He was a coward!

Trowa's anger was directed in the wrong place. Heero was right. He was a coward. Heero
had simply told him the truth to face it. Instead of talking with Wufei, which he had many
chances to do if he had truly tried, he ran, and made excuses.

He wasn't mad at Heero. He was mad at himself. He was a fool for doing it but, what did
he plan to do? Play Wufei's friend forever? It was a move that was unexpected but, was
necessary for them. He couldn't lie to himself or Wufei anymore. It may have seemed he wasn't
thinking clearly but, subconsciously it was completely planned.

He kissed Wufei, and got a reaction. He was happy, and instead of talking right there, or
persisting, he ran. He pulled away, and let his fears fuck him up. His fear of rejection. He feared
the rejection, and pulled away first. Wufei may have wanted it, and was unsure himself. He may
have pulled away because of his own fears, and listening to his own he did the same instead of
talking to Wufei. He ran, and made Wufei run too. He had fucked up but, not in the way he
originally thought.

"Bakayarou! I am a fucking asshole!" Trowa muttered, sitting on the wooden bench. He
put his elbows on his knees, and covered his face with his hands, as he kicked himself in the ass.
He had just made the worst mistake in his life.

"Trowa?" a familiar voice asked beside him. He didn't even hear Heero approach. Heero
obviously hadn't lost his touch.

"I fucked up. I fucked it all up! I'm not worthy of him." Trowa swore as he looked up. He
clenched his hands into tight fists.

"Trowa. It's all right." Heero said, softly as he sat down beside him. Trowa spun around,
outraged.

"All right? All right! I don't think so Heero! I just fucked up the possible relationship
with the person I love! It is not all right!" Trowa snarled, so many emotions were swirling his
common sense. He felt anger, sadness, shock, and self-disgust.

"Sh-h." Heero murmured and whipped the tears of his face with a knuckle. His face was
soft as he gave a small smile at his friend.

Trowa couldn't take it. All the emotions were too much. He collapsed into Heero's
willing, and open embrace. The two were very close, and understood each other better than the
others would ever know. Trowa's words had hurt Heero, but he knew that like his, they were out
of anger.
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Cowards