Wizard of Oz

Disclaimers: I hate writing these. I don\'t own Gundam or or any of the characters; I don\'t own the wizard of Oz, the Texas chainsaw massacre or anything else I may have mentioned here.

Prologue.

Heero Yuy sat at his desk, typing away on his laptop as usual. In the next room, Wufei thumped about, doing his Katana\'s and slashing up the furniture. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a huuuuuuge tornado blew up outside, ripping trees from the ground and shaking the very earth beneath them.
They ignored it.
Well, that is until the tiny safehouse in the middle of nowhere was picked up by the hurricane and spun off into the air. This, finally, got Heero\'s attention. He stood up, giving everything in sight a deathglare, and was trying to decide what to shoot when the house landed with a crash and everything went black.

Part one.

\"INJUSTICE!!!\"
Heero was woken up by a scream coming from the next room. His eyes snapped open and he sat up like a robot, scowling and rubbing his head. He grabbed his gun, shoving it into the back of his magic spandex, and got up to investigate the scream.
What he found in the next room was NOT in his training. Wufei stood in front of the amazingly unbroken mirror, staring at his reflection in horror, his jaw hanging open. The tip of his nose was now black and he had a pair of fangs on both his top and bottom jaOn tOn top of the gaping Chinese boy\'s head were a pair of black, furry ears sticking up through his hair, and, poking out from the back of his silk pants was a small, black tail which waggled unnervingly.
\"Hn?\" Heero said, raising an eyebrow. Wufei turned to him slowly, blinking and moving his jaw a few times, then he clamped his mouth shut and a vein began pulsing alarmingly on his forehead, accompanied by his face becoming a worrying shade of dark red.
A growling sound began in his throat and he clenched his fists, then his mouth opened.
\"INJUSTICE! I AM A DOG! WEAK!!!\" He roared, continuing his angry tirade and stamping about the room while Heero quickly checked himself in the mirror. Nope, no changes, he looked the same as always. Next he walked calmly over to the window and looked out, his eyebrows drawing together as he surveyed the landscape below.
\"Wufei.\" He said.
\"Injust Wea Weak! Injustice!\" Wufei chanted.
\"WUFEI!\" Heero yelled.
\"What is it, YUY?!\" Wufei replied angrily, coming over to where Heero stood.
\"What the?\" Wufei exclaimed, looking out at the bright colours and cheerful-looking little houses around them. They had landed in the middle of a town of some kind that seemed to be deserted.
Heero went over to the door and stepped outside to take a look around followed by Wufei who was still muttering about injustice.
Once they were outside, they immediately noticed that they seemed to have landed on someone since a pair of legs were sticking out from under the house. The legs wore a very expensive-looking pair of ruby sneakers but Heero ignored them. Red wasn\'t his colour. He turned to Toto- Wufei, that is (Heh heh heh...) and frowned again.
\"Hn,\" he said. Wufei was about to ask what the hell \"Hn\" meant when there was a flash of light and a woman appeared coughing in a shower of sparks. She looked mildly annoyed for a moment before she noticed Heero and Wufei, then she quickly patted out the various small fires on her way-over-the-top dress and grinned at them.
\"Well, hello there. Awww, aren\'t you cute?\" She patted the fuming Wufei on the head, laughing.
\"Get off me, Onna! Who the hell are you, where are we and WHY AM I A DOG?!\" He roared, not fazing the woman in the slightest.
\"Hn,\" Heero added.
\"My name is Sally, I\'m the good witch. This place is Oz, or the Munchkin village to be more precise, and I have no idea why you\'re a dog. Hey, aren\'t you supposed to be a girl?\" She asked Heero.
\"No.\" Heero replied, having no idea what she was talking about but not really caring anyway.
\"What in the hell is a Munchkin?\" Wufei demanded, folding his arms.
\"Those are Munchkins,\" Sally told him, pointing into the bushes behind them. They watched in amazement, or in Heero\'s case boredom, as about fifty tiny little people emerged and toddled over to them, crowding around to inspect the remains of whoever the house had landed on.
Wufei blinked.
\"Where the hell did they find so many midgets?\" He muttered to nobody in particular.
One of the Munchkins yanked roughly on his tail and he yelped in pain, spinning around to come face-to-stomach with a girl with short blue hair.
\"Hey! I resent that, I\'m not a midget, I\'m a chibi!\" She yelled, glaring at him.
\"Whatever,\" Wufei replied, making sure nobody was watching before he kicked the Munchkin into the bushes.
\"Goal,\" he sniggered, turning back to see what was happening. Sally seemed to have noticed the legs sticking out from beneath the house and she was grinning.
\"Hey, you squished a witch! Nice aim! Anyway, you saved the Munchkins from her, thanks!\"
Heero shrugged, looking bored.
Suddenly a shadow flew overhead, blotting out the sun for a moment before something shot past with a shrill cry. The blonde girl\'s broomstick slammed into the side of the safehouse, exploding in a blindingly pink flash. The girl, wearing a pink dress, pink shoes and pink ribbons in her hair stood up and brushed herself off, scowling. Then she noticed the legs sticking out from the base of the house and gasped dramatically.
\"Oh! Poor Dorothy! Oh well,\" she said, reaching for the ruby shoes. Just before her fingers touched them they vanished, reappearing on Heero\'s feet where they sparkled, now dark blue to match his eyes. Heero looked at Sally and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged.
\"Hey, you wanna get home, don\'t you? You need the shoes. Plus, who knows what Relena will do if she gets hold of them? They are magic, after all, and she\'s a witch. An evil one. She\'s also clinically insane, but that\'s beside the point. You\'re safe from her while you wear the shoes.\" Sally explained, smirking at Relena, who huffed angrily.
\"Well, how rude!\" She said. She\'d been glaring at the shoes, but now her gaze travelled up to Heero\'s face, hees wes widening. She suddenly rushed forward and glomped the surprised perfect soldier, who, after much struggling, managed to scrape her off and back away, his gun pointed at her. The witch\'s eyes were wide and filled with tiny heart-shaped sparkles. Sally rolled her eyes.
\"Not again...\" She muttered, watching as Relena pulled herself together a little and curtseyed politely, blushing.
\"I don\'t believe we\'ve been formally introduced, my name is Relena Peacecraft, the witch of the west.\"
\"Wicked witch of the west,\" Sally whispered to Heero, who nodded. Relena continued, oblivious.
\"May I ask your name, sir?\" She asked.
\"Heero Yuy.\" Heero muttered, putting his gun away.
\"Oh, Heeeeero, what a wonderful name!\" She screeched. Wufei clapped his hands to his furry ears, wincing.
\"Hey Relena, I think I hear Zechs trying to escape again,\" Sally said, pointing off into the sky.
\"Huh? Oh, yes, well, don\'t think I won\'t get my shoes back! I\'ll get you and your little dog too!\" She said, but her heart wasn\'t in it. Wufei glared at her, along with everyone else.
\"Sorry,\" she muttered, another pink broomstick appearing in her hand. \"It\'s in my contract, I have to say that. Bye, Heero! We\'ll meet again!\" She called, zipping off on her broomstick.
Heero shuddered.
Wufei sighed.
Sally shrugged.
\"So how do we get home and how do I get changed back? I refuse to spend the rest of my life as a dog!!!\" Wufei snarled, not making himself seem any less dog-like.
\"You need to go see the Wizard. Of Oz,\" she added for effect.
\"Where is this wizard?\" Heero demanded, wanting to get out of this crazy land and very, very far away from Relena as soon as possible.
\"In the Emerald city,\" Sally said, looking worried.
\"And how do we get there?\"
\"Oh, you had to ask...\" Sally sighed as every single Munchkin in the entire town stopped dead and turned to them.
\"You have to follow...\" Sally muttered, \"The Yellowbrick road.\"
The second wordwords were past her lips every Munchkin there began to sing at the top of its voice, bawling out the \"follow the Yellowbrick road\" song.
This continued for a minute or so until Heero finally managed to snap out of his horrified trance and raise his gun. He fired a shot into the air, jerking the whole village into complete silence.
\"Sing one more note,\" Heero snarled dangerously, \"and omae o korosu!\"
\"Baaaad move...\" Sally muttered, vanishing in a shower of sparks. Heero lowered his gun, looking a little worried. The Munchkins had suddenly become a lot more... evil looking.
\"You... You interrupted the song!\" One growled as they all began advancing slowly on Heero and Wufei.
\"Oh, well done.\" Wufei said, folding his arms again.
\"Shut up and run!\" Heero yelled, grabbing Wufei\'s arm and bolting as the Munchkins snapped and rushed at them, screaming insanely, a mass of glowing red eyes and sharp fangs.

They ran for what seemed like hours until they finally lost the rabid Munchkins somewhere along the road. After a short rest and a few minutes more walking, they came to a crossroads. Wufei looked around, annoyed.
\"This is what you get for listening to an Onna! Which way do we go now?\" He asked Heero, scowling.
\"Hey!\" A voice cried. \"Um, guys? Hell-ooo?! Could you possibly gimme a hand here?\"
Heero turned to look in the direction of the mysterious voice and raised an eyebrow. In the middle of a cornfield by the side of the road stood a very annoyed-looking boy who was nailed to a stake by his braid.
\"This is so NOT cool,\" he said as Heero and Wufei made their way over to him.
\"Er, hi! Could you get me down?\" He grinned. Heero shrugged and climbed easily up the post, unhooking the long braid from the nail. The boy sat down with a sigh of relief.
\"Oh, thanks, man! I owe you one!\" He said, rubbing his aching head.
\"Who are you, and why were you nailed to a stake?\" Heero said, not one to waste words. The boy looked up.
\"Oh yeah! I\'m Duo Maxwell, or you can call me Shinigami, the God of Death. How\'s it going? I was stuck to the post because Ribena Pink-obsessed has, like, NO sense of humour. All I did was tell the psycho-Munchkins she hated their singing, jeez!\" He said, getting up. \"So where you going?\" He asked, stretching. Heero tried not to drool at the black-clad God of Death and frowned at the floor instead.
\"To see the wizard. I want to go home and he,\" Heero gestured to Wufei, \"wants to stop being a dog.\" He explained.
\"Oh, cool!\" Duo exclaimed, \"I want a VCR, can I come too?\" He asked, making huge watery chibi eyes.
Heero shrugged.
\"Whatever.\"
\"Groovy! So, who are you guys?\" He asked as they set off walking again, randomly choosing a path.
\"Heero Yuy.\" Heero said.
\"Wufei Chang,\" Wufei said.
\"Heero and Wuffie, nice!\" Duo chirped, skipping along, his braid whirling about behind him like a tail. Wufei growled, having a feeling that he was NOT going to enjoy this fanfic.
\"Baka,\" he muttered. Duo ignored him. Heero was walking on autopilot; too busy drooling over Duo\'s veeeery nice-looking ass to do much of anything else.


TBC
Awww, poor Wufei! (Snicker!)
It gets better, honest! You think the casting is weird in this part, wait until the next one! The Munchkin Wufei kicked was supposed to be Hilde, by the way, just in case anyone was wondering.
Pleeeeeaze review?
Sorry to all you Relena fans out there, if there are any, but I can\'t stand her! She\'s always screeching for Heero to come and kill her, wouldn\'t it be great if he did? Omae o korosu! *Bang!* Sayonara! Hahaha! Ok, maybe not, but I still think she sucks and Duo and Heero make a better couple. She\'s only PRETENDING to be a pacifist until she takes over the world. It\'s true!
Aaaaanyway, hope you like it so far, I promise it will get better, =^_^=
*Grin*