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Young Man's Heart	By : Rogue Category: Dragon Ball Z > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4043 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DragonballZ, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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~Word
From The Mistress~

Hello
all! I know I�ve been away for a while. I�ve been busy trying to get my life
under control and underway. But no one cares about that. It�s the writing that�s
important, right? Good! I was feeling kinda down today and decided to write
this�and then it just sort of took over. My inspiration was the song �45� by
Shinedown. Feel free to listen in while you read.

~And
Now On With It~

&n">

Shinedown

"45"

Send away for a priceless gift

One not subtle, one not on the list

Send away for a perfect world

One not simply, so absurd

In these times of doing what you're told

You keep these feelings, no one knows

What ever happened to the young man's heart

Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,

Swimming through the ashes of another life

No real reason to accept the way things have changed

Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child

Keep your eyes open for a while

In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else

There's a piece of a puzzle known as life

Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

What ever happened to the young man's heart

Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,

Swimming through the ashes of another life

No real reason to accept the way things have changed

Staring down the barrel of a 45

Everyone's pointing their fingers

Always condemning me

And nobody knows what I believe

I believe

And I'm
staring down the barrel of a 45,

Swimming through the ashes of another

No real reason to accept the way things have changed

Staring down the barrel of a 45

Warnings � Angst
and darkfic. Coming chapters will contain references to drug abuse and
depression. Rated for language and adult situations and content.

Characters � This
story concentrates on Gohan and his mental stability. Anyone else is just to
further the plot.

Disclaimer � There
are so many of these things around that they really don�t serve any purpose anymore. We
all know who owns what and who stole what, so just read my fiction and enjoy it
and get on with your lives so you can read someone else�s.

*Staring Down The Barrel*

Saiyaman! Protector and hero of Satan City.

Beloved of little children.

Held in reverence by elderly and infirm who tell of his
brave deeds to those little children.

Hated by criminals, miscreants, and doers of injustice.

Mistrusted and envied by strong men and lusted after by
women.

Supported and encouraged and discounted by his loved ones.

Gohan lived the life of a superhero, glorious and fateful
as any truly worthy life could be.

And just as lonely.

It was everything he ever wanted. Everything his father
always avoided at all costs. To be recognized and accepted and praised for doing
a good job, for protecting others, for upholding everything that he had ever
been taught about righteousness and honor�and he could also live up to his
mother�s greatest wishes at the same time because it left his pseudo life open
for her dreams of his success. This way, he could please everyone.

He had the love of a good woman. Videl was always there for
him�when it involved fighting and excitt ant and the evening news. She always
professed to hate her father�s bigoted and famous lifestyle, but she was never
shy when it came to dealing in such things herself.

She tried so hard to bring herself into his lifestyle, but
she threw off the balance even though he did enjoy her company at times. She
wanted the superhero life�and nothing else. He had to have both. Had to! It
wouldn�t work otherwise!

But it was so hard sometimes. It took so much out of him.
Trying to be everything�but not too much of any of it.

To keep balance.

His friends and family thought Saiyaman was a joke. Most of
them made no secret of it and, even though he was admittedly pretty dense at
times, he got the gist after a while. They couldn�t understand why he did it.
Were his actions so futile, so worthless, that they couldn�t see that he did it
all for them? That everything he ever did was to mahem hem all happy? To make
them proud?

And to survive through it at the same time.

They all wanted so much from him. His mother. His father.
Piccolo. Videl. Vegeta and the younger demis. All his friends.

No matter what, he never seemed to be able to live up to
any of their expectations. Sure he had their acceptance�but�he could still feel
their disappointment and that was the worst thing of all.

He had all this power. They couldn�t understand why he
didn�t use it. Why he wouldn�t spar. Why he wouldn�t give his all when they
pushed him to it. None of them could fathom it. None of them understood that he
just�couldn�t.

He couldn�t.

�let go.

He couldn�t access so much power. He didn�t want it, never
wanted it, and he couldn�t handle it when he tried to use it. He didn�t have the
warrior spirit that test est had. All of them. He wasn�t like them and they
didn�t seem to *want* to understand that. He was the only one who was�different.
He didn�t have the will necessary to control so much strength and power and
responsibility. He didn�t want it. He was afraid of it.

They were all disappointed in him. They always had been.
And it had always torn him inside because he just *couldn�t* be what they all
wanted.

But here he was.
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Young Man's Heart