Pillow Talk | By : tenohikari Category: Gundam (all others) > General Views: 5703 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Warning:
A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and
shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. If
the site of two male fictional characters together makes you cringe and
want to write me flame reviews based on the “OMG Kira and Shinn are not
gay for each other because I said so!” - please hit the back button on
your browser now.
Disclaimer: It's obvious that I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny...
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Prologue
Despite
the fact that it was only four o'clock in the morning, Shinn Asuka was
awake. Ever since he had helped Stellar escape, his sleeping pattern
had been very irregular. Sometimes he slept normally, but often
nightmares of losing the ones he swore to protect, as well as
everything that could have been and still could be, would wake him.
Tonight
wasn't one of those awful nights. It was worse. He couldn't even manage
to fall asleep out of fear that those nightmares would be much worse
this time after Stellar's near escape from death.
But much to his
surprise and relief, he had recently been reunited with that one person
capable of banishing the shadows that threatened to pull him under.
That one precious person who could always alleviate his pain without
even knowing it.
"Kira?"
Poke.
Poke.
Poke.
"Oi, Kira?"
Poke.
"Are you awake?"
Poke.
At
first only a muffled groan answered him back. Half a minute of poking
later, the brunette in question slowly lifted his head from a pillow
with a yawn. Violet eyes, despite still being half closed from fatigue,
gazed back at the speaker, shadowed with concern.
"What's wrong, Shinn? Bad dream?"
It
wouldn't have been unusual; Kira knew the younger coordinator had
suffered much from this war. He had heard the crimson-eyed boy cry out
in his sleep several times since they'd been together; calling out the
names of loved ones and comrades with tears clinging to his eyelashes.
However, much to Kira's relief Shinn shook his head to indicate he
wasn't suffering from another nightmare.
"I... just can't sleep."
Insomnia
could be so much worse. The older teenager just had to stifle a groan
as he sat up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. As much as he liked staying up
late with his lover, this was starting to happen much too often. Also,
when it was this late - or early, he could see the faint pink hue
lighting up the predawn sky - Shinn could get very talkative. Of course
Kira would strain himself to stay awake and make an attempt at
conversation, but often he kept his mouth shut. He was too worried his
lack of sleep would cause his tongue to slip and reveal things he knew
Shinn wasn't ready to hear yet.
"Okay, I'll go get you some water."
He
really wished the hotel they were staying at offered warm milk - just
so he could put the younger boy to sleep before the uncomfortable
questions came up. But before he could even get out of bed, a pale hand
shot out and tugged at the sleeve of his t-shirt.
"Just stay with me," the young ZAFT pilot gazed back at him with those large pleading ruby eyes, "please?"
He'd
have to be some cruel unfeeling bastard to turn that look down. With a
small sigh he moved back to his spot and wrapped a tanned arm around
his lover's thin shoulders, and held him close. Gently he pulled them
back to rest against propped up pillows, watching Shinn visibly relax
and smile with a faint blush on his cheeks.
"Thanks."
Smiling
back, he reached up and stroked messy black locks and absently traced
the dark purple highlights between his fingers. "What's bothering you?"
The
smile on Shinn's face now looked obviously forced. Shaking his head, he
wrapped his arms around the older boy, clinging to him as if he were
afraid the morning breeze would blow Kira away.
"It's nothing. I just missed you, that's all."
In
return, Kira tightened his own hold around the boy lying in his arms.
He had missed the other as well, and there were many nights onboard the
Archangel that he dreamed of holding the boy close to him once again.
Whether he was listening to Shinn's stories or his cries and moans of
pleasure, Kira had always been content.
"I'm here now," he murmured softly, "there's no need to be so sullen."
"I know."
"So tell me, what's the matter?"
Instantaneously,
the false smile dispersed and was replaced with an angry frown - one
that Kira had believed was his lover's natural expression when they
first met in Orb many months ago. Already he knew he had stirred
himself into a dangerous storm.
Shinn growled, "This goddamn war...I hate it."
"I hate it too," Kira admitted softly but it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears.
"I hate the people who won't let it end."
'No matter how beautiful the flowers are, people will blow them away again.'
He
tried to rub the small of the boy's back, in an attempt to calm him
down. But it was in vain because now Shinn's hands had released him to
ball up into fists. For a short moment, he knew Impulse's pilot was
reliving some of his earlier battles. Shinn had thrown all caution
aside and attacked first. Kira remembered the devastation that mobile
suit had caused back in ORB. He would never forget that raw power that
threatened to destroy them all.
At the time Kira had no idea the
young man he had instantly fallen for back at the Memorial would have
been the pilot of the Impulse Gundam he encountered whenever Archangel
entered the battlefield. Shinn's skills were honed and exceptional, and
it was difficult to believe this was the same boy who at the beach who
had clumsily tripped over his own feet and landed in the brunette's
outstretched arms. Kira's confusion, his disbelief, was only
overshadowed by a sudden understanding that he could never bring
himself to kill Shinn.
'Even if you become a dangerous enemy I have to face in battle, and when you've grown to hate me for all this.'
He winced suddenly when Shinn punched him in the arm.
"...Kira? Hey, are you even listening to me!"
His startled dark amethyst eyes met the other pilot's narrowed garnet ones.
"Ow... uh... sorry."
"Che. Whatever. All I was saying is that you should stay alert and be more careful."
"Eh?"
"Look I know you like your job as a photographer..."
Kira
winced again, mentally this time. He hated lying and at first believed
he was incapable of it. But whenever he was with the ZAFT soldier, he
had no choice. Now lying was starting to become as natural to him as
piloting. He'd lied to Shinn and to his own comrades, and Kira knew
someday those lies were going to blow up in his face.
"...But you
gotta watch your back out there," Shinn added, "stay away from those
Earth Alliance people or Orb - even if some of them claim that they're
neutral - you can't trust any of them."
Kira wasn't sure whether
to be pleased Shinn cared so much for his wellbeing or offended that he
didn't consider him - as a neutral Orb supporter - as trustworthy. It
was a little weird to be praised and insulted at the same time. Even if
Shinn had no idea about that latter, and hopefully never will.
"Look...
I, I worry about you being out there in all the fighting," Shinn added,
his burning anger gone and the familiar blush Kira found so endearing
once again stained his cheeks with color. "I don't want to lose you,
like I lost my family."
Reaching out he affectionately stroked his lover's cheek. "Is that what's bothering you?"
Nodding, Shinn took the hand and kissed its palm. Such a simple action made the brunette's pulse race.
"I'm just tired of seeing those I care about - even the people I'm only briefly acquainted with - die before my eyes."
"Shinn..."
"We
had a new pilot on our team not too long ago. He was also member of
Faith..." Kira wasn't familiar with that group, but continued to
listen, "kind of weird but really friendly... the first time he
launched from Minerva, the Freedom and that ship Archangel showed
up...and got him killed."
Head resting against Kira's chest, the
pilot of Impulse wasn't able to see his pained expression. But the
guilt and hurt caused by that accusation were clearly there. If only
Shinn could look up and see, would he understand?
Unlike people,
death never discriminated, especially in war time. It consumed
everything. The innocent and guilty. The old and the young. The rich
and poor. Naturals and Coordinators. That's why it was harder to
preserve life than to destroy it.
As Freedom's pilot, he had
never intended to enter any battle to kill anyone. In fact, the only
reason he wanted to pilot again after two years was to prevent
countless lives from being lost in a nonsensical battle. Even though
choices and reactions will have many repercussions, Kira knew that he
and the rest of the Archangel crew had made the right one. He truly
believed the road to peace was the one with the least bloodshed.
"The
Freedom," Shinn spoke again, his tone heavy and menacing, "I know it's
one of the most powerful Gundams out there, but if it causes anymore
harm to my team mates... I'll have to destroy it."
There was a
long pause as Kira searched for something to say. How could he explain
without giving himself and of course the Archangel away? Finding no
other option, he simply entwined his fingers with Shinn's own.
"I'm sorry."
"Huh? Why are you apologizing...?"
Shinn
yawned and finally looked up, gazing sleepily at the older teen.
Between his angry declaration and the gap of silence, he had just come
to realize how soothing and reassuring Kira's heartbeat was. For all
his fears and the churning hatred for Orb and the Earth Alliance...
everything had been swept away.
That's why he loved Kira Yamato.
Again
complete silence filled the small room once again, and Kira had just
hoped to fall right back to sleep if it hadn't been for the flurry of
emotions wreaking havoc inside him.
"Um... Shinn, about Freedom... I..."
Snore.
'What the...!'
Kira, who was now wide awake, stared at the sleeping boy cuddled up against him.
"When did I become your personal pillow?"
Of
course there was no response, save for the youth's deep and even
breathing. Out like a light. How unfair. Kira just lay there quietly
and admired the sight of his lover at peace as he held him close, and
bleakly wondered how long it would be before this war would tear them
apart.
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Author's Notes: All of you worship the grammatical greatness that is Amaya for beta-reading Pillow Talk.
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