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Bedknobs And Broomclosets	By : Ashkelives Category: Fullmetal Alchemist > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1090 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Bedknobs And Broomclosets
- 1
Bedknobs And Broom Closets
It was here. Halloween.

"I would dress like a kitty."

Edward Elric twisted around on the couch slowly to stare blankly at his brother. "A... kitty?" He snerked, scratching his head patiently.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" Al replied indignantly, placing his hands on his hips. "Just because you've taken a personal vendetta against anything that has four legs and fur doesn't mean that I have to."

Ed rolled his eyes, not willing to argue the impracticalness of keeping a pet with the world's biggest animal enthusiast while other things weighed on his mind. "I don't think I'm gonna dress up at all," He said indifferently, picking up a nearby library book and burying his nose inside. " I'll feel like a moron." I'll look like one, too, in front of the whole army, and they don't give me any respect as it is.

"Brother, it's a Halloween party, other people will be dressed up too. It would be fun, come on, I'll help you pick out a costume..." Al faltered, reading the stoical look in his brother's eyes.

"I'm not dressing up, Al, and that's that." Edward turned a page of the leatherbound book and crossed his legs. "It's ridiculous that they expect anyone to, what with the way they waited until the last minute to pass out invitations." The suit of armor gave one loud sigh before turning to walk into the kitchen. It was time to cook his brother's dinner. Maybe with a full stomach Edward the Negative would be more pliable.

"Fine, Ed, suit yourself. Be a stick in the mud."

=xXx=

The autumn air seemed exceptionally cold as they made their way down the tree lined sidewalk, approaching the front doors of the East City auditorium. An icy breeze slid through the quickly thinning branches of some nearby oaks and slipped it's way down to nip at the elder Elric's already wind blown cheeks. He pulled up the collar of his under coat, grumbling under his breath all the while. Why was he even going? Why did he always let Al talk him into these things? How big of an idiot did he look with this gunk on his nose?

"Look, brother, it's the perfect Halloween moon." Al interrupted his thoughts, pointing up at the bright orange tinted sphere to the left of them. Ed spared it a quick glance, lifting his head just enough to let Al know that he saw, he registered it, and he really didn't give a damn, before ducking under the safety of collar and bangs once more.

Maybe it was the whole compensation thing. Maybe the reason he had agreed to do this was because Al couldn't, and that was his fault. His brother was trapped in a shell because of him, the least Ed could do was indulge him every once in a while... Or maybe it was because Al had threatened to withhold his dinner for a week. Yeah, that was probably it. The Fullmetal Alchemist was a master of various things, and an expert in many areas of physics and continuums that confounded even other elite and renowned alchemists. Cooking was one of the few things that had somehow completely escaped his grasp. Being forced to survive on a diet of his own failed attempts at culinary skill was a fate that chilled him to the bone.

The blonde released a woeful sigh and trudged along until he reached the large stone door that would lead him to his inevitable fate of humiliation, where he stopped and turned to fix his younger brother with a glare.

"You're really going to make me do this, aren't you?" He hissed through his teeth, wagging a shameful finger in Alphonse's general direction before bringing it around to point at his own nose.

Al placed his hands on his hips with a clang, tilting his body forward in the way he did when dealing with an unruly child or a menacing dog (because he had known his older brother to be both).

"Yes, I am, brother. It doesn't look bad at all. In fact, I think I did a good job, it looks nice, if I do say so myself. I let you wear your own clothes and everything, one little kitty cat nose isn't going to kill you. Just be glad I let you talk your way out of the ears. You know, if I had a body, I would indulge myself in a costume completely and let you go about all surly and unfestive, but I don't, so pardon me if I want to live a little bit of my life through you." Al finished with a huff, folding his arms.

For a moment, Edward could think of nothing to say. He bit his tongue and bowed his head, rubbing his forefinger over the black paint that made up the triangular nose drawn over his own, gently so as not to smudge it, letting the wind blow his hair in every which direction while he pondered his brother's words... Before shrugging his shoulders, rolling his eyes, blowing a rasberry at Al, and turning back around to face the door. "Why do you always have to guilt me into everything, Al? It's not fair! Besides, it's not the nose that bugs me, it's the whiskers."

And with that he pulled open the door, old creaky hinges that needed to be oiled filling the air with their protest.

Inwardly, Alphonse grinned triumphantly. Yet another battle that he had won.

"Hey, I worked hard to keep those whiskers straight!" He said cheerily, placing a heavy metal hand on Edward's shoulder as they made their way inside. "And guilt is the only way to get through to you, brother. Guilt... and food."

=xXx=

With a quick glance into the room, one would think that every military official attending the party had decided to wear the same costume- military official. The creativity ran amok, and the blue just went wonderfully with the orange and black streamers hung haphazardly from the ceiling and walls. But upon further inspection, one would find that some had actually dressed themselves as something (or someone) else. Take Jean Havoc, for example. He had dressed, with a badly attached black wig, as one certain Flame Alchemist, in the hopes of attracting more female attention. Too bad that the red marker with which he had scribbled something that one could only guess was a transmutation circle on his glove was not waterproof, for more than one drink was tossed at him that night, and it began to run rather quickly. Cain Fuery had taken a more traditional route and dressed as a pirate, complete with mock sword bumping against his leg with every step and a plumed hat two sizes to big for his head that repeatedly fell over and onto his glasses.

Riza Hawkeye had dressed as something very few had expected- a civilian. She was hovering over the punch bowl (and the nearby liquor cooler) with a wary eye when Edward decided to escape a pointing and laughing group of men by pouring himself a drink. (Al had quickly destroyed his plan of walking around with his hand in front of his nose by threatening to pull out the headband with 'the cute lil' kitty ears attached' if he didn't show off this work of art that was a few dabs of paint.) Just about everyone's reaction had been the same- first stare, then point, squint, and then of course keel over with laughter while Ed stalked away. The first group of people to see him had been one that included Havoc, and the eldest Elric had tried to blow up, really he had. It was just something about the way one of the female officials had remarked that he looked like a hissing kitten that took the oomph right out of his temper and left him in a sulking mood.

As he approached the First Lieutenant she turned slowly to see who was behind her. Her eyes widened, her mouth widened, her nose crinkled, and Edward was sure he knew what was coming. But she didn't laugh. She didn't even stare very long.

"Thirsty, Edward?" She said kindly, leaning over and ladling some orange punch into a cup for him. He peered at her, rather unsure for a moment before reaching out and taking the offered beverage from her hand. They stood in silence for a moment as he waited for the inevitable laughter to come.

"So... judging from your face, I trust Alphonse has worked his way into the Halloween spirit?"

The Elric smiled, relaxing a bit. Good. Someone sane who seemed to understand his brother.

"Yeah, he has." Ed took a sip of the neon liquid. It tasted like soda and food coloring, but hey, he wasn't to picky when thirsty, as long as it wasn't milk.

"I also see that he is not playing your shadow at the moment." She said with a slight smirk as he wrinkled his nose at the punch.

"Yeah, he and Fuery are off studying the black cat cut outs that are lining the walls, discussing whether they are actually life size, and, let's not forget the most important question of all, which is cuter." The shorter blonde replied wryly, taking another sip and turning his back on the milling crowds in the room to facing the table. "He'll probably wanna take one home."

Riza had to stifle her laughter at the image of Alphonse and Fuery trying to smuggle the cut outs out of the auditorium. "Well, " she smiled, brushing back her bangs. "I think it's very noble of you to let him semi dress you up."

Ed smiled, glad that his efforts were being appreciated by one person at least. " Well, he really wanted me to wea- are those... cupcakes?" He pried hopefully, peering down at the corner of the table. She nodded, and he was off in a flash, abandoning conversation for the sake of his stomach. She thought he was noble, she'd understand.

He swore he heard ethereal music as he descended upon the food end of the table, eyes welling at the sight of all the cookies and cake, cupcakes and brownies, dishes of candy and crackers. Immediately this was the best place he had ever been and he was in love.

It was around the time that he was consuming his sixth or seventh chocolate chip cookie that he noticed a shadow looming over his back. Slowly he spun, a half a cookie hanging from his lips- to find his large intimidating brother leering over him.

"Brother! I don't believe you would do this!"

"Fwut Al?" The elder brother furrowed his eyebrows and shrugged around the sugary confection crowding his mouth.

"This." Alphonse replied, carefully reaching out and grabbing his metal wrist, gently bringing Ed's own gloved hand in front of his eyes. Edward studied it for a moment. The back of it was smeared with black paint. His first reaction was 'Oh my, what the hell did I stick my hand into?', which was closely followed by 'Oh shit, that's what I stuck my hand into.' He raised his eyes slowly to stare up at his brother's face.

"You know what this means, right?" Al said patiently, tapping his foot.

"Al..."

"Kitty ears."

Ed did what came naturally when Al tried to get him to do things he didn't want to do.

He ran.

He could hear the clunking of heavy metal footsteps following him as he flew through the nearest door out of the main auditorium room, his own uneven sounding footfalls proceeding him into a deserted and very dark hallway.

"You promised, brother!" Came a shout from a ways behind him, followed by the clanking of his brother trying to speed up.
There was no doubt, Alphonse could catch Edward... most of the time.

But Ed was not wearing cat ears. He would never live it down. He loved Al with all his heart, he would give his life for him and then some. He would do anything for his little brother, and not just because he felt he owed him that. They were true brothers. But Alphonse Elric was not going to die or even be really emotionally hurt if the Fullmetal Alchemist refused to wear cat ears. All Ed would have to do is allow him to take one of those kitty cutouts home. If he were caught, Alphonse would make him wear the horrid things, and his younger brother wouldn't even have to lift a finger. Ed would just feel that since he had been too slow, it was his duty.

That's why he had to get away, and that's why as he was running he was praising Winry Rockbell's skill as an automail engineer. When he wanted to use it, his left leg could outrun even Al, and it happened to drag the rest of his body along with it.

A closet!!!

He saw it as he turned the corner, the door that would save his reputation. Without hesitation he dove inside.

=xXx=

Fumbling to find the lock and then turning it so fast he was suprised it didn't break, he turned to survey his surroundings. It was dark, darker than the hallway, and a lot smaller than he had imagined. He sidled in further with his hands groping around, feeling a large and wide shelf on his right and stacks and stacks of cardboard and plastic boxes on his left, some stacks at or below his eye level, some looming over his head and up into the unpenitrable shadow of the ceiling. The floor under his boots sounded like unpolished cement as he explored further, finding it to be rather shallow. Suddenly, his hand connected with something soft, something that was most definitely not a shelf, box, or any other inanimate object.

"Who the hell is that?"

They both said it at the same time, and they both simultaneously knew the identity of the other, one letting out a groan, and the other a chuckle.

"Well well, Edward, fancy meeting you in a place like this."

Edward couldn't say anything. All he could do was scowl and fold his arms. The Colonel. This was the man he had been avoiding all night, and now here he was, trapped in this pig sty of a closet right next to him. Maybe kitty ears would be better.

"Not feeling talkative, are we?"

Did his ears deceive him, or did Roy Mustang's voice sound slightly slower than usual? Not quite sober? Ed rolled his eyes.

The man was such a drunk.

As he let his mind assess the situation, he realized that the Flame Alchemist's loss of sobriety could be a good thing. A drunken Colonel was a slower less perceptive fount of smugness and sarcasm. A Colonel who would not be so quick to bitch him out about late reports, or notice the paint on his face, especially in this darkness.

So hey, maybe he would take his chances.

"No, I'm not, and you won't have to worry about me being in here long. So if you could just stay quiet while I am, I'd really appreciate it, and maybe I won't tell whoever you're hiding from where you're hiding." There was silence for a moment, and Edward thought that maybe those few words had done what he'd been trying to do for years- shut the Colonel up.

But in actuallity, Roy was only using the silence to think of an appropriate response to what had just been said.

"Who says I'm hiding?"

Now it was Ed's turn to ponder. He needed an answer that would make him come out on top, and not give away the fact that he himself was hiding.

"Well, I just didn't know you made it a habit to hide out in closets at company parties."

Roy smirked. "You are surely one to talk."

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence as Edward propped his back against the cool metal shelf, listening hard for signs of Alphonse out in the hallway. The quiet was broken when the Colonel let out a sigh.

"Who are you hiding from?"

Edward snorted, propping his right foot on the lowest shelf. "Who says I'm hiding?"

More silence.

"... And if I was... why would I tell you?"

Roy stopped himself just in time from saying 'because I am your commanding officer' followed by a rude remark concerning height and opted instead for looking to his left where he could just make out the top of the blonde's head.

"Because if you tell me, I'll tell you." He said with resignation, deciding to keep the peace. He wasn't sure how long he had been in here now, but the alcohol was wearing off, and maybe it would be nice to have a fairly civilized conversation with the boy for once.

Edward snorted again. "Like I wanna know, you're just trying to worm something out of me."

Okay, so maybe civilness was not one of Fullmetal's obvious attributes.

Still more silence, this time accompanied by the shuffling of two pairs of booted feet.

"Alright, I'll go first." Roy finally conceded, lacing his fingers behind his back and deciding to see this as more of a challenge that needed to be faced than just hap and circumstance. "I am hiding from one Riza Hawkeye."

Ed raised his eyebrows, turning to face the man a few inches away from him. Hawkeye had seemed to be in a great mood tonight; why would he be hiding from her?

Damn it, the bastard had caught his interest.

"Don't you want to know why I am hiding from her?"

The Elric shrugged, trying to seem completely nonchalant.

Roy rolled his eyes. " I was drinking, at the punch table, minding my own business, I was harmlessly helping myself to some more scotch, and I could feel her watching me from over my shoulder, you know, that weird power trippy look she gives me." He waved his arm, almost knocking Ed on the head.

"And then she tells me that she is putting a stop to my alcohol priveleges for the night, to which I reply 'I'm not drunk', to which she replies 'I didn't say that you were'." Ed had to stifle his laughter at the Colonel's imitation of the Lt.'s voice. "So I say 'Well, Lieutenant, even if I wanted to get hammered out of my mind, it doesn't matter, I'm not driving home. Now I want another drink.' To which she says ' That's right Colonel. You're not driving, and it's my job to not allow you to make a fool out of yourself, therefore I don't think you should have anymore to drink.' To which I say 'That is cruel.' And she says 'That's my job.' And I said 'Guess what? I'm the great Flame Alchemist, the future fuhrer, and that's who I'm dressed as. Who are you dressed as? ' and she of course replies 'Your subordinate.' And I couldn't help it, I said 'You should have come dressed as a witch.' -and you know women, they overreact- To which she says- well, to be honest, I don't even know what she says then, because I ran at the look on her face, and here I've been since. But I'm pretty sure she yelled something behind me."

Ed stared at him blankly for a moment before speaking. "You are so drunk."

Mustang scratched his chin, replaying in his mind his own words. "Yes, I'm beginning to see that now, thank you. And who are you hiding from?"

"Alphonse." Before Ed could stop himself, it was out of his mouth. He let the room sink once again into silence.

Roy waited a moment. "Why?" He said finally.

Ed frowned. "I'm not telling you."

Mustang threw his arms up, squeezing into the space in front of the Elric and shaking a gloved finger into his face. "I give up, I am trying to have a n-"

Abruptly this semblance of disfunctional conversation stopped, for Edward had felt something brush against his flesh leg and scurry under the shelf behind him, accompanied by a soft squeak

He did what years of instinct and training had worked into his brain to do when surprised- he jumped, bracing his arms and the corner of his butt on the shelf at hip level behind him, throwing his legs out in front of himself, wanting to remove them from the floor as fast he could. With a crack and a flump that jarred his torso, his feet slid down into the boxes that they had landed on, one cardboard and one plastic, trapping him in this position. This position where he was straddling Mustang's hips with his thighs, Mustang, who's slurred reflexes had not allowed him to move.

"Shit." That was all that he could think of to say. "Shit, I'm fucking stuck."

=xXx=

They would, of course, blame it on the friction. Neither of them would ever admit that maybe they had thought about it before.

Roy let out a rather nervous laugh, trying to back himself into the boxes even more when he found Ed's thighs tight against either side of his hips, anything to keep their groins from touching, even though he knew it was entirely useless.

"Never knew that you were so scared of a tiny little mouse, Fullmetal." He spoke smugly, crossing his arms.

Edward only scowled, gripping the edge of the shelf and pulling his legs up and towards himself. His left leg, the one in the cardboard box, was moving. His right, however, had gone straight through the thick plastic lid of one damn heavy box filled with paper and who knew what else. It wasn't going anywhere.

That didn't mean that he was going to admit defeat.

"I didn't know it was a mouse, alright?!" He growled, giving his leg another tug, twisting his hips and fixing Roy with a piercing glare.

The Colonel stared nervously as the blonde forced their hips together with every tug and strain, trying so hard not to focus on the leather covered crotch that was rubbing against his. He reached up to wipe a little sweat from his forehead.

"Elric..." He said quietly, trying to scoot even further back as Ed thrust upward.

"Edward..." He croaked, feeling his own stomach muscles tense as their hips were forced together again and his bottom was pushed into the cardboard behind him.

"I can't believe I'm fucking stuck." Ed muttered, pausing, much to Roy's relief, for a moment and looking down to the floor. The Colonel let out a sigh of thankfullness and maybe disappointment.

That was when it happened. Edward scooted his ass forward a bit, trying to wiggle his right foot free. He bit his lip with determination and arched his neck with effort, trying to yank his knees upward, turning his head to the right, blonde bangs sliding over his cheek and down to brush over his lips.

Roy Mustang could not help it. After all, he was only human.

After a few more tugs and grinds, Ed stopped dead, hips resting against Roy's, whipping his face around to stare in slight horror at the man in front of him.

"What the fuck is THAT ?!"

The Colonel didn't know what to do. He tried to stammer out an apology, anything, some explanation, some valid excuse. All that came out was a hiss.

"What the fuck do you think that is Edward Elric?!" He growled through his teeth, gripping his hands firmly onto the boxes behind him.

The blonde's eyes widened and his mouth drooped slightly.

"Gross!"

He yanked frantically at the boxes, desperate to get away from the feeling of Roy's fast hardening erection pressing between their groins with his every move.

Edward Elric couldn't help it, either. Though half metal, he too was only human. A teenager at that.

Roy looked down with surprise to find that his were not the only pants quickly becoming to tight. All movement stopped and complete silence fell as they glared at one another, dark eyes meeting golden, both with breath and heartbeat beginning to speed.

"What the fuck is on your face?" The Colonel growled quietly, tightening his grip on the boxes and pushing his face towards Ed's menacingly, bangs falling into his eyes.

Edward gritted his teeth and began the movement once again, bringing their groins together forcefully and holding their cocks against one another, all the while never letting his eyes leave Mustang's face. "Just shut the fuck up so that we can get this over with." He hissed back, spitting out a few strands of hair that had wandered into his mouth and pushing his face forward as well.

Their lips crashed roughly together, tongues surging forth to delve into the hot wet pits of one another's mouths, growling into one another. Roy thrust upwards, releasing one hand from the box and using it to reach down and undo his own pants, fumbling with the button for a moment before finally releasing his own cock out into the air. The blonde ground his own still contained hard against it, urging Roy to move faster.

The Colonel moved his lips now from Ed's lips to his throat, sliding his tongue over the veins there, pausing for a moment to suck at his earlobe. Edward let out a delicious moan, offering up his throat more by throwing back his neck and gulping. Roy took it, nipping at the blonde's jaw line.

Sliding his hands up smooth leather covered thighs, Roy made his way to the button of the boy's pants. "Why the fuck do you have to wear a belt..." He husked distractedly, reaching a hand around and grabbing the blonde's ass before beginning his struggle with the buckle.

Ed lifted his flesh hand from the shelf, resting his weight on his automail wrist and his still trapped feet. He looked towards the Colonel's crotch and saw what he was looking for. Reaching out, he scooped up Roy's hard cock and wrapped his thumb and forefinger around the head, giving it a squeeze and then a tug. Mustang groaned, jerking forward slightly, closing his eyes and pausing in his task of freeing Edward. The Elric grinned lustily, licking his lips and tapping his fingers down the cock before bringing the hand up to his lips and biting each finger of the glove, removing it with his teeth. When he held it swinging between his teeth and had moved his hand over to Roy's throat, the Colonel reached over and pressed their lips together, taking the glove now between his own teeth and spitting it down onto the floor, letting his wet tongue roam over into Ed's mouth once more.

Eventually, the thick leather belt and Roy's own gloves were removed. The taller man made quick work of the button and zipper holding the blonde in, reaching his hand down quickly and grasping ahold of the boy's hot throbbing cock.

"Colonel!" Edward moaned as Roy tugged his pants down as far as they could go given their current position and fisted his cock softly, bringing it to his own until their heads were rubbing together. Ed began to grind upwards again, letting the cocks drip onto one another as sweat began to fall into their eyes.

In a fluid movement that had the Elric admiring his partner's agility, Roy arched his back forward, grasping the sides of Ed's hips and placing his lips around the cock there, dragging his tongue down the side before swirling it around the head. Ed cried out, arching back his neck again and almost losing his grip on the shelf as his muscles tensed and his stomach jumped.

Mustang snaked his hand over so that he could bury them into the blonde curls that shone in front of him. He lapped his tongue down to the base, laying a kiss there and then licking his way back up before taking the cock into his mouth and humming, all the while grinding his own hot hard cock against Ed's hips. He felt the boy tense completely, heard him strain to make a cry against the lump of joyful sobs building in his throat.

He straightened his back as Ed began to come, wanting to watch every second, keeping his hand in place to catch the hot sticky fluid.

Edward strained, seeming to fold in upon himself for a moment before exploding forward with a sob, tears streaming down his cheeks and streaking the black paint that was left there. He bucked upwards and spewed out into Roy's cupped hand, letting out a moan that raised every hair on the Colonel's body (but in a very good way) and tossing his head so that his hair obscured his face.

Roy immediately took the cum in his hand and brought it to his own cock, rubbing and tugging furiously, arching his neck downwards and gritting his teeth. Edward watched in dazed afterglow fascination as his commanding officer released a ragged howl and came onto his own slightly smaller cock.

=xXx=

When the afterglow moments were over, they stood there, sometimes staring at one another, sometimes avoiding one another's eyes, silence once again stretching over them. Finally, Ed cleared his throat.

"So...wha- what do we do now?" he spoke quietly, staring at his own fingernails with his eyes half lidded.

Roy shrugged, slumping against the boxes behind him.

Slowly, he grinned.

"Maybe we should get you unstuck."

=End=
- 1
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Bedknobs And Broomclosets