No Regrets

On time? Well, that was a nice change of pace. Hair pulled into a neat ponytail instead of it’s usual braid? Also different, but a welcome change that went well with the polished boots and blue uniform Ed seemed to have finally deigned to wear. Roy frowned at that, wondering what had changed in the last twenty four hours to instigate such a shift in both appearance and demeanor. Ed had knocked on the door, waiting until Roy gave the go ahead to open it. Roy sighed, watching Ed now, standing perfectly still, a feat in itself, outstretched hand offering a typewritten report.

“Who are you, and what have you done with Fullmetal?” Roy asked finally.

Ed just looked at him as if he was being incredibly foolish.

“What instigated this, anyway?” Roy was at a loss, surprised enough not to even tease the younger man.

“I thought you’d appreciate it, sir,” Ed bit out, a hint of his usual volatile temper seeping through the façade. His voice and expression softened into something unreadable as he reigned himself in, “I figured I owed it to you, at least once.”

It didn’t register really, what Ed was saying, the meaning behind his words. Roy frowned, feeling as if he was missing the punch line of some all important joke, but finally settled on letting it go.

“Acting like an actual, responsible adult suits you,” Roy smirked, finally regaining his composure. “You should try it more often.”

He’d obviously said something very, very wrong, because Ed didn’t look angry so much as… very deeply hurt, but he said nothing of Roy’s comment.

“I just came to drop off that report. I’ll be at the library if anyone needs me,” Ed completely ignored their prior exchange, offering a very crisp, very not like Ed, salute to Roy before turning and leaving.

Ed had to have lost his mind, Roy decided. Perhaps, he had lost his own. He could practically feel the marbles all tumbling out over his desk, across the floor, and down the hall after a very confusing subordinate. He wondered idly why no one else seemed to notice all the rolling.

X

It turned out to be the most efficient day Roy had had in the history of signing paperwork. He tried to pretend it had nothing to do with being incredibly concerned about Ed’s eyes not being an open book, about a professionalism that had nothing at all to do with being respectful to him, he was sure. In any case, it was done, and he was out the door just as the clock struck five. Riza smiled a surprised sort of smile when she noticed his desk, entirely empty for the first time since he’d gotten it.

“Have a good evening,” she called after him, but he was already halfway down the hall.

X

The library had just closed and he could only assume that Ed would be rushing home. It had already begun to sprinkle, those clouds promising a downpour of epic proportions. It surprised him to find Ed not only still in his line of vision, but walking slowly away from the dorms. He ran to catch up, and it was only after he’d reached the young man, who said nothing about him being short of breath, that he realized he hadn’t a clue as to what he wanted to say.

“Can I help you, General?” Ed asked, and for the first time, Roy could see the strain it was for him to act this way.

“What’s going on?” Roy demanded.

“I’m going for a walk?” Ed offered.

“In the rain?”

“Some of us are not rendered useless by a little water,” Ed offerend a hint of a smile.

“You typed up your report,” Roy noted, changing the subject.

“You can read that easier than my handwriting, right?”

“You never type your reports.”

“You can’t possibly tell me you came looking for me because I typed up my report,” Ed looked rather doubtfully at him.

“You’re wearing your uniform. Never in all the time I’ve known you have you ever even considered putting it on.”

“So… you followed me to find out why I typed a report and to worry over my choice in clothing?”

“Ed,” Roy frowned. When he put it like that, it really did sound silly, but the fact that they were having this conversation at all meant something was up, and why hadn’t he heard anything about something important enough to make Ed act like he was some sort of alien? The younger man was looking at him, eyes wide in surprise, and it took him a moment to realize it was probably related to having said his name, his real name.

“I followed you because you’re acting strangely and not even your brother knows why,” Roy said finally.

“You talked to Al?” Ed looked afraid for a minute, and Roy filed the reaction away. He’d have to ask about that soon.

“He came looking for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell him where I was?” Ed asked, ignoring the rain that came down ever harder, dripping off his bangs.

“How do you know I didn’t?” Roy returned.

“He would have come to find me if you had.”

“You’ve never been the sort to keep things from him. If there was something important enough not to tell him, I decided it was worth watching out for,” Roy finally conceded.

“Thanks,” Ed muttered.

“I would like to know, however, what was so important it merited me covering your ass for you.”

“You don’t need to be covering my…” Ed stopped, blushing furiously despite the cool rain that licked his cheeks, realizing belatedly that he’d read Roy’s comment in an entirely inappropriate way. The older man couldn’t help but grin at the horrified look on his subordinate’s face. It was better than the somber mood that had pervaded the day up until now.

“Tell me what’s going on,” and though it was a statement, an order even, he voiced it in a question and watched Ed bite his lip in consideration.

“Do you ever think, if this was it, your last day of existence, that there’d be things you’d regret not having done?” Ed asked instead.

“I try not to think like that. It’s morbid. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. There’s plenty of time to do all the things you want to do,” Roy responded, carefully watching the shift of Ed’s lips as he thought about… something.

“I wonder if…” Ed paused, shaking his head.

“You’re right,” he smiled a little too brightly, acquiescing in a way that Ed never did, not to him.

“What were you in the library for?”

“Just double checking a few things,” Ed explained.

“For?”

“I’m working on a project.”

“What sort of project?” Roy asked, fairly certain that it had something to do with Ed’s odd behavior.

“Just a project,” Ed was moving a little faster, walking by the gates of the park.

“What project?” Roy asked again, grabbing Ed’s wrist, determined to get an answer.

“I… it’s nothing,” Ed looked away, pulling uselessly away.

“It’s not nothing. You may not think that you’re painfully transparent, but you are. Something is going on and I want to know what it is.”

“I’ll tell you about it soon. I just… please just…heck, I’ll write you a whole damn report on it. Just let me tell you about it later,” Ed pleaded.

Roy was taken aback, and silently let Ed’s wrist go. The whole ordeal was so unlike him, and Roy supposed there was a perfectly normal explanation for it all. He tried to believe it was some normal, teenage thing, that maybe he’d met a girl and was just trying to impress her or something, but somehow that rang very, very false. He said nothing though, watching as Ed walked away.

A slip of paper fell from the younger man’s pocket, and Roy picked it up, realizing immediately he wouldn’t be able to read it. Perhaps with a little bit of time he could break the code, but all he could make out for the moment was that it was a list of some sort, numbers down the side, with the top one crossed out. Only two words, at the top of the page, were immediately decipherable.

No Regrets