\'Twas the Night before Christmas (GW Style)

This is a Gundam Wing revision of a parody I did a couple of years ago.

If you'd like to see the non-GW version, go to this page:

http://shounenboy.deviantart.com/#/d36zavk

This will take you to my DeviantArt post (I'm shounenboy there).

It's tagged as mature content, so if you don't have a DA account, you'll need to sign up.

It's free.

Finally, if you want to see the generic version but don't want to create a DA account, email me (presserkun (at) yahoo (dot) com) and I'll send it to you.

peace 'n' hugs,

presser-kun

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the place,

All the pilots were stirring, 'specially those wearing lace.

The stockings were stuffed with fresh condoms piled high,

In hopes that St. Yaoi would be dropping by.

Trowa and Quatre and Wufei in bed,

Had visions of sugar-cocks in their sweet heads.

My Heero (a cross-dressing hunk whom I favored)

Was cleaning up lube that was pineapple flavored.

When down in the Play Pit arose such a clatter,

He sprang down the stairs to see what was the matter.

The noise woke me quickly. I jumped up, got dressed

(No more than my short-shorts)--my braid was a mess!

I ran down the stairs to the Play Pit and saw

A saucy young man wearing nothing at all

But a Santa hat. Heero was drooling, mouth open;

The look in his eyes said he really was hopin'

To take Santa right then, before he had spoken.

This young man's physique was so hot, I said, "Wowie!"

I knew in a moment it must be St. Yaoi.

More rapid than eagles his sex toys, they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

"Now Dildo, now Cock-Ring, now Sleeve-Masturbator!

On, Butt-Plug, on, Extra-Large Ten-Speed Vibrator!

To the tip of my cock, to the girth of my balls,

Now turn on and amp up and blast away, all!"

As flaccid young cocks, licked greedily, will

Instantly stiffen and instantly fill

With precum, each sex toy flew to the young hunk;

Then they fell to the floor at his feet with a thunk.

And then in a twinkling, I heard voices sweet:

The prancing and pawing of pilots in heat.

As I drew back my head and was turning around,

Down the stairs came the pilots; they came with a bound.

Wufei in fur; Quatre wore only panties;

Trowa was naked completely and chanting:

"St. Yaoi! St. Yaoi! Please fuck us, oh, please!

We'll lie on our backs; you can mount us with ease.

We'll lick every inch of your balls and your cock;

We'll tease every nerve till you're hard as a rock."

St. Yaoi's eyes twinkled; his dimples so merry;

His butt-cheeks were perfect; his anus a cherry.

His abs (yes, a six-pack), quite lean and so taut,

Went perfectly well with his pecs, as they ought.

On the top of his head was a long mane of gold

That fell past his shoulders and waist: very bold.

He was tanned, he was toned, and quite well-endowed;

And before I could stop myself, I said out loud,

"St. Yaoi? Your ass: how would you like it ploughed?"

He smiled, and he winked, and he waggled a finger

Right at me. Then I knew that I shouldn't linger.

I hurried right to him. His scent was divine!

He kissed me; I swooned! God, he tasted so fine,

Like a Porterhouse steak and a really fine wine.

I reached for his groin, but he pushed me away,

Chuckling, then turning to motion his way

To the other three pilots, who all yelled, "Hooray!"

They soared over furniture quick as a wink,

And surrounded St. Yaoi, that jolly young twink.

They licked and they lapped; they teased and they tickled

Till St. Yaoi's cock (rather wet as it trickled

A good load of precum) became hard as brass;

It throbbed and it pulsed; it wanted an ass!

The pilots, on seeing what St. Yaoi needed,

All turned their backs, dropped their pants, and then pleaded,

"St. Yaoi! St. Yaoi! Fuck me, not the others!

My ass is best. Don't look at my brothers'!"

Then St. Yaoi sighed; for the first time he spoke:

"Don't fight, boys; that's silly; each one gets a poke!"

And everyone cheered, except Heero and me.

We sulked in resentment, then suddenly he

Said, "Come, Duo, sit down, and we'll see what we'll see."

So Heero and I went down in the Play Pit,

Got comfy and cozy to watch all this play shit.

St. Yaoi smiled broadly, then went straight to work.

He put on a condom, then turned with a jerk.

He surveyed three asses turned up to his face

And selected the first one he planned to debase.

What happened at that point I can't quite recall,

Except that each boy, Heero, me--I guess, all

Had really sore asses and really big smiles

When we woke late the next day amid several piles

Of torn condom wrappers, used bottles of lube,

And Wufei (oh, my) stuffed with five bouillon cubes.

(Don't worry; he liked it. And he's no one's boob.)

We yawned and we stretched; we tried to think back

To what happened last night when things went pitch black.

Trowa said that St. Yaoi had banged him just right.

"His cock was so big!" "My hole was so tight!"

Regardless, we all thought we had a good time,

And each one thought he had been treated just fine.

So everyone laughed, and everyone hugged,

Even my Heero (who looked slightly drugged).

Then suddenly I said, "Hey! Yeah! I remember

What happened when St. Yaoi pulled out his member

From ass number five, the last one he did.

He threw back his head and he laughed like a kid."

"My god, that was spurt-worthy! Never had better!"

He said, then looked all 'round for me to see whether

That Heero and I had enjoyed the show.

He saw us, and smiled. (We were having a go!)

As dawn broke, St. Yaoi put on his red hat,

He called to his toys, "We've got to leave, stat!"

So Dildo and Cock-Ring and Sleeve-Masturbator,

Young Butt-Plug and Extra-Large Ten-Speed Vibrator

Flew right to St. Yaoi, and into his bag.

He even remembered to grab his ball-gag.

He pulled on fresh panties, he tucked back his junk.

(Lucky for him it was soft and had shrunk,

Or he'd never have managed to pack that long trunk!)

He jumped out the window and floated right down

To the taxi he called for his night on the town.

St. Yaoi looked up at us e're he rode off.

He said, "One request for next year. Please don't scoff."

We struggled to hear as he spoke with sore throat.

"Next time," Yaoi said, "could I bring billy goats?"

#

A Merry Very, Very Christmas to all my Gundam Wing yaoi friends!