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Practically Canon Anyway	By : chroniclyflaming Category: Dragon Ball Z > General Views: 810 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Do not own DBZ and am making no profit from this

Chapter List
- 1-Practically Canon Anyway
- 1
The prompt: 17/18/Cell

Because it's practically canon anyway. It's up to whoever fills this prompt what direction you want to take this, because it would be as easy to write a crack-fic as it would be to write something dark. And if you wanted to do something like Perfect Cell/Androids, that would be fine even though he had technically absorbed them already.
Some ideas: Perhaps Dr. Gero programmed Cell with disturbing pick-up lines revolving around how much he wants 17 and 18 to be inside him.

The Fill:

They didn’t have a chance to escape using distractions. Too late, the twin cyborgs could only curse letting Juurokugou leave. He might not have been able to defeat Cell, obviously, but might have been able to stall the creepy bug-like android.

Unfortunately, their large, red-haired behemoth had left to explore the nearby zoo, and Juuhachigou and Juunanagou found themselves backed into their own stolen van. This was not how either had expected to end up. At the very least, the female cyborg would have argued, she should have been able to change out of this ridiculous cowgirl outfit.

Behind them, a woman screamed for mercy, and received none from the shadowy murder whose identity had yet to be revealed. Before this freak had showed up, the blonde girl had been betting on it being that shrimp with the leering smile, while her brother had his money on the pretty-boy who’d been suspiciously added to the cast halfway through the movie.

Juunanagou scratched behind one ear. Could have sworn he still felt butter back there from Juuhachigou throwing it at his head and telling him to stop blocking her view. “What the hell are you supposed to be?”

Black speckled fingers that resembled a bird’s claw rather than a hand human rose. “Rejoice brother and sister!”

Matching pale blue eyes blinked. Someone else was being mowed down by a machete on the screen in a fine spray of blood and gurgled screams.

“We will finally be together now, for the rest of eternity. In perfection!”

“Um. What?”

“We were created to be one!”

“I…don’t think so.”

“The great Dr. Gero created us to be one being. One ultimate creation.” The pinkish eyes seemed to glow in the dim light. Its lipless beak of a mouth curved upward in a smile.

The twins began to step backwards. It was one thing to play along with some crazy giant bug that apparently Gero’d also had his wrinkly hands in creating. But when it began talking about being joined with you, well, you had to dry a line somewhere. They were both surprised neither began making a joke about the other wanting the black speckled thing.

“Now,” the thing’s voice rasped, “It is time for us to be joined.”

Despite their strength, it was hard not to hold their hands up for protection. “How do you even know about Gero?”

“Oh, the good doctor created me as well.” It was still smiling. The cheeks hollowed beneath the sickly pink, slit-pupiled eyes, the striped curved beak that was supposed to be its mouth. Both were fairly sure they’d never seen this creature before. It had a face that was hard to forget. “Now, come, and be one with perfection.”

“Can I at least wear something different?” Her voice was distant, trying for amusement that her brother managed with a low laugh.

He crossed his arms, the usual smirk crossing his face. “Oh, sure, we’ll ‘become one with you.’ That’s the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.”

“And don’t you have any manners? You didn’t even take us out to dinner before asking us if we wanted to ‘join’ you.”

“Or wait for the movie to end, before making a move on us,” Juuhachigou added.

“So, what?” He held his hands out. “Are you here to make come-ons or something? Knew Gero was cracked, but not this badly.”

“You’re both mine. Together, we will complete my design and become a being of unimaginable power.”

“Hm. No thanks.”

Again, they took another step back. “Yeah, gonna pass on that.”

The monster held a black-palmed hand out to the cyborgs. “Join me, and we will make the universe tremble.”

Juuhachigou managed to summon a smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Well, I’m shivering right now.”

“Yeah, like that little bald fellow you so wanted to make out with. That wanted to make out with both of us.”

“Shut up. And you stay away from that ‘little bald fellow.’ He’s not interested in you.”

“Feh. We’ll see.”

That thing just stood there, staring. Completely not caring about anything they were saying.

“And what’s this about joining you? Is that a euphemism?”

“After I absorb you.” Its rasping voice was as even as the other two. “Then I will become the strongest being this pitiful world has ever known. It is what we were created for; it’s our destiny.”

“Hey,” Juunanagou’s smile only grew. “I’m already the strongest fighter around. Who says I need you for perfection?”

Then its tail twitched, the tip widening to a sickening black gulf. The movie behind them tattooed his dotted skin in blues and reds. “I am not asking.”

Now they found themselves regretting choosing this nearly abandoned drive-thru. Why hadn’t they gone somewhere with more people—at the least the vigilante squad of Earth fighters might have noticed the slaughter. Those idiots would never even know what happened to them, what with the lack of ki. Another reason to curse the madman who’d already stripped away their humanity and left in place programming.

If only there had been people to use as shields, cars to dodge and hide behind. But Juunanagou just refused to leave his stupid van, a thought that Juuhachigou would clutch as tightly as her growing rage and almost-fear. Why hadn’t Gero told them about this thing? She had an unfortunate feeling that this was one of those ‘life lessons.’

Even her brother was no longer smiling.

“Oh.”

“Shit.”

“I will have you both.” Gero’s monster howled, tail swooping in at their heads.

Juurokugou was going to be so lost when he came back to find them missing, and this bug thing in their place—with its huge swollen tail full of struggling androids as the pretty-boy murderer on the screen was confronted, and shot in the head.
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Practically Canon Anyway