House of Vegeta Chronicles

A/U

HOUSE OF VEGETA CHRONICLES 10

"Raditz, be still. I mean it!!"

"But-"

"It's your own fault. Now enough already, I'm not spending half the
day doing this!"

"Ah haaaaa!! That's messed up."

"SHUT UP, KAKAROT!"

Celipe snarled, tail lashing. "BOTH of you be quiet or I'll crack
your skulls together!!"

Kakarot plopped on a corner stool, sulking. "Well, I just wanted to
hear the good stuff, anyway. He promised to tell me!"

Raditz sniffed. "You ain't old enough to know. Not yet!"

Celipe punched her oldest in the head. "Sit up in this tub, I said!!"

Growling and snarling, Raditz turned in the tub. Celipe sat along the
edge, scrubbing dense pelt that covered him like black velvet.

"Fool! Your father will be pissed when he gets home-"

"Yeah, you ain't even changed back yet, bro!" Kakarot
taunted. "Father's gonna know you were out under moon."

Raditz was nearly obscured by thick foam as Celipe picked his pelt
thoroughly with her fingers, separating it into sections. He wiped
suds from his eyes, grinning slyly.

"Hey, Kakarot. You know what they say about river girls?"

Wild eyes went large. "What?"

A wink. "That they stink a mile wide and a trail long."

Celipe snorted. "That's why you're infested in the first place.
Idieze!" (Idiot!)

"They smell that good, huh?"

"Oh yeah. You'll find out your first moon run!"

The pre-teen thumped his tail against the wall. "Shit, I can't wait!
Maybe I'll find a stinky girl right away?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Moccos (morons)" Celipe hissed. "Kakarot, hand me the flea powder."

"All right."

"And the tick spray."

"Ai, mosi."

The air clouded as Raditz was practically fumigated. The saiyans
coughed, catching their breath.

"Mother, are you trying to kill us all?!" Raditz gagged.

"Maybe if you held your cock I wouldn't have to spray you. Now quit
whining!"

Raditz mumbled as his mother picked his back. Even in anger, the
grooming instinct was strong in saiyans.

"Look at this!" she fumed, throwing things out. "Spiders! Centipedes!
You asshole..."

Kakarot laughed out loud at his brothers' predicament. Raditz glared
at him. "Give it a rest, stick, or I'll crack you in half!!"

The saiyans paused, sensing another presence. Bardock had entered the
house.

****

"Now you're in for it." Kakarot teased.

Raditz rolled his eyes. "Grow up, kid."

"Both of you clamp it!" Celipe shouted. Seconds later they heard
footsteps winding the stairwell.

"What's all the noise?" Bardock entered the bathroom, taking in the
scene. Dark eyes went stormy.

"What the f- is going on here?!"

Celipe stared at their bedraggled son in the tub. "Ah, well-"

Gleaming armor shone as Bardock stomped to the tub, yanking the
furred head back.

"Snnrrr...you've been on run. Explain this!!"

"AAAIIAAhhh was just-"

Another yank. "JUST WHAT?!"

Kakarot laughed again. "See, told ya. Father's gonna tear your head
off!"

"You'll be next, loon. Stay out of this!!"

His youngest fell to silence. Celipe finally spoke again.

"Bardock, before you completely rip his fur-""

"I'm not listening. Answer me, Raditzsu!!" Bardock roared.

Raditz strained to talk with his head bent back. "I was on
run...Humoz and Gosco introduced me to some women from an Auguqua
town in west-"

"River trash?!" Bardock bellowed in disbelief, letting his head go
with a snap.

Raditz rubbed his sore neck. "They were okay, we just partied a
little!"

"No son of mine rolls with river trash. Celipe, get the worm pills."

"Bardock, the parasites were only in his pelt-"

"Bullshit. Who knows what else he's dragged in here? We've got
chiggers in the damned carpet already!"

"I don't have worms!!" Raditz yelled indignantly.

"He had ticks and fleas, father!" Kakarot agitated, snickering. "Not
to mention spiders and nightcrawlers. He told me about stinky girls!"

Bardock abruptly spun and popped him in the head. Kakarot hit the
floor with a thump, clutching his aching skull.

"Why'd you hit me?" he wailed.

"Because I felt like it. Now be quiet!"

"Mother-"

Celipe lifted a fist also. "You'll get it from me next. Keep your
mouth shut or leave!!"

The surly boy stayed on the floor, swearing silently.

"Hand me the worm pills, Kakarot." Celipe ordered.

"You had those in here, too?!" Raditz wailed, looking like a wet rat.

"Ai, simpleton. I know a lot about river girls." Celipe snatched the
bottle from the still woozy Kakarot. Opening the bottle, she shook
some into Raditz' hand.

"Now take these."

He stared at the pills, glowering. "I don't have anything to wash
them down with."

"Drink the damn bath water, then." Bardock snapped.

Growling, Raditz swallowed the pills.

****

After listening to an earsplitting speech for nearly half an hour,
Raditz decided to take a walk. Having Kakarot at his side didn't help
much.

"Don't say anything stupid!"

"I won't. Do all river girls have bugs?"

The maned saiyan licked his lips as they walked. "Maybe they do, but
it sure is worth it!"

Kakarot's eyes tinged with red. "Do you eat them when you do it?"

Raditz stared. "What did you ask me?"

"The bugs. Do you eat them when you do it with a river girl?"

A laugh. Raditz rubbed the jagged mop affectionately. "You're pretty
wild for someone who hasn't done anything yet!"

"Do the guys have bugs too?"

"Yeah, I met a few. They don't get groomed much."

"Ugh. Do they stink real good like the girls?"

"Of course. Now stop asking me all these questions about river clans!"

The younger saiyan's tail lashed as they walked through their
congested neighborhood. "Take me with you when you party!"

Raditz stopped a moment, holding him. Dark eyes looked over his
brother carefully.

"Easy, little brother. You're only eleven."

"Can I watch, then?" the crazed eyes were even more reddish.

Raditz tilted the lean face up. Kakarot was all arms and legs, but
the ingredients were in place to be a heartbreaker.

_His eyes...he's too young to start. Could I have triggered him
because he's a moon cub?_

"Stop staring like that!"

"Don't be so touchy. Come on, let's head home. I'll take you downtown
to get some lunch, but we need the helipod first."

The wild one nearly did a backflip. "Now you're talking!"

****

Bardock and Celipe were talking in the kitchen when they got back.
Their eyes immediately fell on Kakarot.

"I'm taking him with me downtown." Raditz explained. "We needed the
helipod."

Bardock grunted. "Kakarot, come here a moment."

The pre-teen blinked. "Hn?" he walked to the table. Both parents
watched his face carefully. Bardock examined his eyes, nearly red now.

"Have you taken your calming medicine today?"

"I...might have forgotten to do it..."

Celipe pointed out of the kitchen. "Go take your medicine. Now!"

"Can't even have any fun around here" Kakarot growled, huffing out of
the room. A pause until he was long gone.

"Raditz, don't get him excited. I'm concerned about his eyes."

"I noticed that too, father. But he's at least four years away from
first heat! I can't understand it."

A growl. "You know he's highly reactive."

"I wondered if I might have triggered him somehow this morning?"

Celipe sipped her hot haffa. "That's exactly what's happened, boy.
You came in from run, hot and reeking. His body is reacting to
something it isn't developed for yet."

"I'll be more careful around him-"

"And yourself. Bounce with fleabags again and I'll disown you."

The maned saiyan flushed red. "I ah...didn't know they'd have bugs."

Bardock laughed now. "You mean your friends never told you? Krukka!"

"They seemed clean enough. I never saw anyone scratching."

"Well you're damned lucky I sprayed you in time." Celipe
sniffed. "Those girls carry all kinds of parasites...another day or
two they'd be sucking your blood and bleeding your skin. I've seen
enough sheared idiots in the compounds to know, and it's not a pretty
sight."

Raditz swallowed, imagining himself in such a state. "I'll remember."
he mumbled.

****

A more clear eyed Kakarot rode alongside Raditz in the helipod.

"I think they worry too much about me, Raditz. I'm almost grown, you
know!"

His brother coughed, smiling. "Of course."

The wild one was silent a moment, glancing out the window. "Say
Raditz, I was curious about something else?"

"Hn?"

"Why does mother know so much about river girls?"

"Aaahh..."

"I remember our descii (parents) used to keep flea powder and tick
gel even in the winter."

"Don't even go there."

Kakarot's dark eyes were almost too large. "Hey! You don't think that
was for father, do you? After all, mother is from a lake town."

"Kakarot-"

"Do you think I could get lots of smelly sex someday?"

Dark eyes looked him over. "Hn, in a few years you'll be fighting
them off. Don't say I never warned you!"

Kakarot relaxed back in his seat. "That doesn't sound too bad. I like
having a good time!"

Raditz laughed his head off. "Someday, Kakarot. When the time is
right, we'll do our own dance!"

The bright young face tilted in curiosity. "I don't know what you
mean?"

Raditz licked his lips as he drove on. "Oh you will, little brother.
You will!!"

THE END