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The Road to Kindness	By : shinigamiinochi Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 7935 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
The Road to Kindness

Chapter 7

Part 4

�� Heero deeply missed those times in the hospital when Duo
was too out of it to realize he wasn�t sleeping much, that he was spending most
of his time watching the longhaired boy sleep. He couldn�t do something like
that now when they were rooms apart, it was too risky, too many creaky
floorboards and doors to go thorough without Duo being sick and woozy and
vulnerable enough to not care if Heero was constantly close to him. Still,
after having Duo disappear on him for a second time, and having to think that
he would never see him again made him get out of his bed in the middle of the
night and sneak into Duo�s room. After two days of worrying about never finding
his best friend, it was just a bit difficult for him to believe that he was
back, safe in bed. He couldn�t deny what his eyes saw, though, when he closed Duo�s
door behind him.

�� The longhaired boy was sleeping on his stomach, his braid
trailing over his shoulder. Heero stood at the bed, watching his sleeping face.
Even when Duo was supposed to be completely relaxed, he seemed edgy, ready to
wake up at the slightest sigh of trouble. No one should sleep like that, Heero thought.
But he didn�t blame him, if he had lived with a man who had raped him without
warning at all hours of the day and night, he would be sleeping on edge, too.
He smiled affectionately down at the sleeping boy. The two cats sleeping on the
pillow next to Duo�s head either didn�t notice Heero�s presence or simply didn�t
care. Though his fingers ached to reach out and brush Duo�s long bangs from his
painfully beautiful face like he had done so many times in the hospital, Heero
didn�t dare to do it. Duo was too on edge and he felt clumsy next to the
longhaired boy�s feline-like grace. If Duo ever caught him doing this� just the
possibility made him shudder.

�� Duo awoke the next morning realizing that something was different
but for a few minutes, he couldn�t place what it was. He had half expected to
wake up on the hotel balcony, but the sadness in Trowa�s eyes when he had told
him about his past had been too real for Duo to dismiss as a dream or
hallucination. He also remembered thinking about Helen and that memory brought
forth a sharp pain in his chest. Duo realized that he would have to get used to
that pain because it wasn�t going to go away. He couldn�t bury those memories
like he had as a child and he didn�t want to.

�� It finally came to him what was different when he realized
that he could read the display on the TV�s DVD player across the room in
perfect detail. He smiled brightly, not even aware that he was
doing so. He hadn�t been able to read things that far away for many,
many years. For a brief instant, he forgot all the things that had happened
yesterday and focused on that wonderful fact. He could see, not in a slight
improvement, but clearly and completely. The surgery had mended the damage Wes
had done to his eyes. He just wished such a simply procedure could mend all the
other damage his guardian had done to him. He shook the dark thought as he
rolled out of bed and got dressed. For once, something good had happened and he
didn�t want his own pessimism to get in the way of that.

�� Duo didn�t know what he had expected to happen coming back
to school after disappearing for two days, but it seemed like nothing had
changed. For once, the other kids were chatting about the bomb threats instead
of gossiping about him, or giving him weird stares. He, Heero, Quatre, and
Trowa had discussed telling Wufei what had happened, but had ultimately decided
against it. Wufei was their friend and Duo trusted him with the information,
but he didn�t think that eh Chinese boy would understand his reasons for
running away and their friendship was still a fairly tentative thing. Though,
he did inform Wufei of the news concerning his vision, just like he had Name
and the others. Trowa jokingly claimed that they could go out and get wasted
since he was old enough and they had all laughed, but they knew they wouldn�t.
Wufei was too straight laced and Duo was too anxious around drugs for any of
them to be comfortable with celebrating that way.

�� Their first two classes were cancelled as Treize called the
entire school into assembly about the bomb threats. Duo didn�t hear a thing he
said, too preoccupied with other things. He and Name had take Patches to the
vet, who had told them that she would be giving birth any day now and Duo
couldn�t help but be anxious about it. He had seen a stray mutt give birth
before and he had watched Shiva�s mother give birth twice, so it wasn�t a
completely alien thing, but this was his cat
and he was worried that something was going to go wrong and he wouldn�t know
what to do. He didn�t even know what he was going to do with the kittens. He
wanted to wait a few months before separating them from their mother and he had
promised one to Quatre already, but what if Patches had seven or eight kittens?
He didn�t trust any of the local pet shops, they weren�t bad places, but he was
too overprotective to give them to anyone he didn�t fully trust. Name might let
him keep one or two, but he doubted she would agree to seven more cats under
the roof, especially rambunctious kittens. Shiva and Sammy were bad enough and
they weren�t quite kittens anymore.

�� Duo was startled out of his thoughts when Heero, who was
sitting to his right, nudged his side with his elbow.

�� Assembly�s over,� Heero whispered. Duo blushed as he
realized that everyone around them was standing up and trying to leave the
auditorium in a mass exodus. He barely remembered what Treize had said, just a
lot of lectures about irresponsibility and immaturity, the rest he hadn�t pain
attention to. He stood and hurriedly left the large room with the rest of them,
his thoughts still scattered.

�� What�s on you mind?� Heero asked
in concern. He had learned that when his friend was this absent minded, it was
a bad thing.

�� Patches and something else I seem to be forgetting�� Duo�s
brow furrowed as he racked his brain, trying to think of what had been
bothering him since he had gotten up this morning. He knew he was forgetting
something, nothing important, but obvious enough that it was irritating him.

�� Well, I�m sure you�ll remember what it is and Patches will
be fine. If something goes wrong, Trowa worked with a lot of pregnant animals
in the circus. Everything will be fine.�

�� It was a senseless assurance, but it still made Duo feel a
little bit better. He followed Heero back to the biology classroom and they sat
down next to each other, like they always did. Une marched into the classroom
with a huge stack of papers in her arms, gaining a raised eyebrow from students
like Heero, who had only gone to school there for a short time, cheers from the
�veterans�, and a groan from Duo, who suddenly realized what it was he had
forgotten.

�� What�s going on?� Heero whispered Duo glared at him.

�� Listen and you�ll find out,� he hissed back, worried the
tone would hear them.

�� But I want to hear it from you,� Heero teased stubbornly. Duo rolled his eyes.

�� Every year, some of the Middle school honor students and the
entire High school go on a field trip to Boston
for five days,� Duo explained with a wistful tone.

�� Then why do you look so upset about it?� Heero whispered,
confused, �It sounds like fun and you told me you�ve never left this town.�

�� Because Wes never would have let me leave his sight, and
my job for so long,� Duo pointed out, �and even if he had, this trip isn�t
free. You have to shell out fifty bucks and lunch and dinner aren�t covered. I
could never let go of that kind of cash for something so� trivial.�

�� Heero�s expression turned sad and apologetic as he realized
he hadn�t used his head again. He wanted to protest that a little bit of fun
and freedom was never trivial, especially considering what Duo�s life had been
like back then, but he knew what he was saying. Those fifty dollars he had
needed for food and clothes, not a field trip. Still, he felt devastated at the
thought of his friend staying behind while his classmates were enjoying
themselves in another state. What he hated was the depressed look on Duo�s face
right now. He hated that the boy
frequently got trapped in his past and forgot his present.

�� There�s no reason why you can�t go this year,� Heero
insisted. Duo instantly brightened as he realized he finally had the money to
go on the trip.

�� But I need a guardian�s permission. Duo you really think
your Mom will let us go out of town for that long?� he whispered. Heero snorted
lightly.

�� Of course she will, and if she doesn�t, just give her your
best puppy eyes and she won�t be able to say no,� the Japanese boy said with confidence,
smirking when Duo rolled his eyes at him. The two boys quieted when Une cleared
her throat to speak.

�� As most of you are probably aware, a week from now is our
annual trip to Boston.
Each of you will go home today with a packet of information entailing what we
will be doing each day, emergency contacts, what you will need to bring, the
school�s rules for field trips, and the permission slip your guardian will need
to sigh. I don�t think I need to tell you what will happen if any of you are
caught forging your parents� signatures,� the longhaired teacher gave her
students a stern look, which gained her a few nervous chuckles.

�� Because of the local economic issues this town has been
going through lately, the price for going on this field trip has been raised
from 50 to 75 dollars,� Une informed them. Several students groaned, mostly the
ones whose parent�s were on a tight-budget this year and the ones that had to
pay for the trip themselves. Duo felt a strange sort of glee as he realized
that, ironically, he could still afford to go.

�� This money will pay for transportation, your hotel room,
and the breakfasts you will be having at the hotel. As always, lunch and dinner
and any shopping you wish to do is separate,� Une continued, handing out the
packets to her students.

�� Also like last year, to cut back on room costs, you will
be sharing a three bed room with five pre-selected classmates. The lists will
be posted today after lunch. If you wish to switch with someone you�re friendly
with, it must be done at the end of this week, no later. I suggest you talk to
a teacher about this quickly if you don�t want to be separated from your
friends.�

�� Duo paled a little. Believing he would never be allowed,
and could never afford to go, he had never given the trip a serious thought.
The thought of sharing a room with a strange boy scared him and he didn�t want
to go if that happened. What if, worst case scenario, he got paired with Zechs?
In the past, the trip to Boston
had always been a bittersweet thing for him. It meant staying behind as a very
few minority that couldn�t afford it, but it also meant freedom from Zechs, who
always went on the trip, for an entire school week. He didn�t think Treize or
Une would condone him sharing a room with Zechs Merquise, but he was only one
kid out of hundreds and he was used to being left behind or ignored.

�� Heero looked over at Duo again and felt the urge to hold
his hand at the look on his face. He knew exactly what his friend was thinking
and he refused to have him in some strange hotel room, in a strange city, with
strange boys. It sounded like a panic attack waiting to happen. That, and the idea of sharing a room with him like they had
during their sleepovers excited the primal urges in his body that he had yet to
successfully repress. He would have gotten out of his seat and held Duo�s hand,
their classmates and teacher be damned, if he hadn�t known
that the unwanted attention would bother the longhaired boy. He also hoped that
his mother would let them go. He thought that this trip would do a bit of good
for Duo, a chance to get out of town, for the first time in his entire life, and
to have some fun away from all the bad stuff. But, it could be bad, too. Boston was loud and
crowded and it would be a strange place to Duo. Heero, Quatre, and Trowa had
been to Boston a few times when they were
younger with their respective parents and guardians, but Duo had not once left
this little Maine
town, so a big city would probably be very scary to him and his issues with
personal space. His friend was doing much better in social situations than he
had when he had first been released from the hospital, but he was still very
skittish and prone to anxiety. What if walking around in such a big place gave
him another panic attack? Heero wasn�t sure if he could handle it without his
mother�s silent guidance. He was sure that his mom would think of all these
things and it wasn�t exactly clear if this trip would be mostly good or bad for
Duo, but simply because he seemed excited to go, Heero wanted to give him that
chance.

�� Lastly, but most importantly, I want you all to be on your
best behavior. Any incident will give you a one way ticket home and either
detention or suspension. You will be representing, no only this school and
town, but this state. Please do not embarrass the rest of us,� Une finished gruffly,
�Now, let�s continue where we left off last week and put all this bomb talk
behind us, shall we?�

�� Heero liked to think that he knew his best friend pretty
well after taking care of him when he was too sick and weak to do it himself
and living with him for months now, so he wasn�t surprised to find Duo checking
the room lists as soon as they finished lunch. The four of them followed him,
even Wufei who, unlike Heero, Quatre, and Trowa, had never been to Boston and was quite
excited by the news of a trip there.

�� So, where are we?� Trowa asked, slinging an arm around
Duo�s slim shoulders. Heero watched them carefully as Duo only gave a tiny
flinch. It was gratifying to Heero that he was still the only one Duo felt
truly relaxed around, but he found it ironic that Duo seemed to be more
comfortable around Trowa than Quatre, especially since Duo had been so scared of
him when they had first met. Something had happened between the two of them
when Duo had been missing, something that had given him more trust for Trowa.
Heero wanted to know what ground breaking thing could have broken down Duo�s
iron-clad barriers, but he knew that it wasn�t really his business. Trowa was
his friend, but if he didn�t want to tell him what he and Duo had talked about,
he wouldn�t push him.

�� Duo�s eyes widened as he finally found his assigned room
and his breath caught in his throat.

�� What is it?� Heero asked worriedly, his view obstructed by
Trowa�s height. Had Duo really been paired up with Zechs, or someone just as
bad?

�� We�re all in the same room together,� the Italian
explained. Suddenly, a frustrated, but determined look in his eyes, Duo stormed
off towards Une�s office.

�� What was that about?� Wufei questioned in confusion,
trying to figure out what had happened to set Duo off. Wasn�t it a good thing
that the five of them were rooming together? Being Duo�s friend was frustrating
at times because he was so hard to understand and follow. Since he had given up
on courting the longhaired boy and he was no longer blinded by ideas of lust or
romance, he could see that a relationship between the two of them could never
last. Trying to follow Duo�s mood changes gave him a headache, they just didn�t
think or act on the same wave lengths and when he was this frustrated, he
usually gave up. Unless he truly believed something would come out of it, Wufei
wasn�t stubborn. Now, Heero was stubborn. Wufei knew the Japanese boy would
follow Duo all over the planet, whether or not it would accomplish anything,
because Heero Yuy didn�t know how to
give up. Wufei could admit, jealously, that that was exactly what Duo needed,
someone so stubborn and invested in him that they would either never let him
fall into darkness again, or keep him company in that darkness, because they
couldn�t quit. Heero didn�t disappoint Wufei�s theory this time around, either.
He was already running after his best friend in a split second.

�� Catch you later!� Heero called back, almost as an after
thought. Wufei knew he should feel offended, but the three of them knew, when
competing with Duo for Heero�s attention, they would always be just second
best.

�� Duo, wait!�

�� Duo stopped walking as he heard Heero call out to him,
giving him a vaguely annoyed look that Heero simply ignored. The blue-eyed boy
put a hand on Duo�s arm unconsciously as though he thought that Duo would bolt
anyway.

�� What�s wrong?� Heero asked, �Why are you so upset about
this? This is what we wanted.�

�� But that�s exactly the problem!� Duo insisted, �We�re all
from different grades and different classes, there�s no way that we were paired
up randomly!� Duo sighed tiredly, �Look, I�m not used to be people going out of
their way to make things better for me, ok? It�s like, as soon as I uttered
�rape�, everyone thinks I can�t do anything on my own and that isn�t fair! You
and Name know more about my past than Une does, but you respect me. You let me
figure things out on my own without treating me like a little kid. The worst
either of you have done was your mother assuming I wouldn�t mind living with
you guys, but she still let the final choice be mine and the only reason why
she did any of that was because she knew that at the time I would be too
overwhelmed to make the right choice. Yes, I want to room with you guys, but I
hate that Une or Treize went out of their ways to give me what I want. I�m just
one kid, why do I warrant their special attention and why can�t they let me do
things on my own without assuming what I�d want?� Duo seemed to deflate as he
finished his rant. Heero watched him with a slightly raised eyebrow.

�� I�m being stupid, aren�t I?� Duo asked in a small voice.

�� A little,� Heero admitted with a soft smile, �I can see
how this might bother you, I�d be upset if I thought people
were treating me like an invalid, but you�re making a mountain out of a mole
hill, Duo. Yes, they should have asked what you wanted, but them going out of
their way just means that they care. Now, do you want to talk to her?�

�� Duo shook his head.

�� No, I guess not,� he admitted,
�Though I feel bad if we can�t go and Trowa, Quatre, or Wufei have to room with
strangers. Those pre-lists are pretty stupid, if you think about it. Half of
those kids won�t be able to go this year and they�ll have to shuffle people
around again. And it�s only a three bedroom. Who�s going to get the beds and
who has to bring the sleeping bags or air mattress? Or should we just share
beds?�

�� Heero chuckled as the energy Duo had had for his anger and
frustration was diverted to his excitement for the trip.

�� We�ll just have to flip on it.�

�� Heero was surprised that Duo and Quatre were the two that
were the most excited with the idea of going to Boston for a week, considering
that one was half terrified to go because of his fear of crowds and the other
had gone several times, but as Heero drove the four of them home after school,
his two friends couldn�t stop talking about it. Trowa gave him a look that was
partially suffering and partially affectionate. Heero had to agree, seeing Duo
acting like a child for once made his heart melt.

�� The four of them entered the house laughing and in good
spirits, but when they entered the hallway and saw Name waiting for them at the
foot of the stairs, they became silent, none of them daring to speak.

�� Duo, it�s time,� she said simply. Duo didn�t seem to need
more information than that. A serious expression crossed his face and he
followed her to her bedroom. When he realized where they were going, Hero
figured out what was going on fairly quickly. A stone-like feeling settled in
his gut as Name ushered Duo into the room.

�� Trowa, we�ll need you, too,� she told the tall boy, who
nodded and followed duo into the bedroom.

�� Heero, Quatre, stay here,� she insisted. Neither of them
protested, not used to the birthing process like the other three were and a bit
afraid of it. Heero watched anxiously as his mother shut the door behind her.
He and Quatre shared a somber look, but neither said a word.

��

�� If someone had told Heero that at some point in his life,
his stomach would be in knots over a few baby cats, he would have laughed in
their faces, but here he was, standing outside his mother�s bedroom, stifling
the urge to pace. Quatre was silent and still next to him, leaning against the
wall with his arms folded over his chest, the worried, anxious look in his
blue-green eyes destroying his calm fa�ade. There was a part of Heero that
insisted it was ridiculous for all of them to be so wound up in some cats, but
he didn�t really believe that. At one point, Shiva came over to investigate
what was going on, but quickly became bored when she realized that Duo wasn�t
around to dispense strokes, food, or toys and wandered off again. The two boys
could hear a few sounds from beyond the heavy door, the noise of indiscernible
talking, some of Patches� stressed mews, and a few other sounds that they
couldn�t identify. It seemed like forever, but it was only a few hours when the
door opened and Trowa came out, looking slightly flushed, but with a brilliant
gleam in his eyes that Quatre had never seen before and made his heart hurt
with a bitter mix of jealousy, doubt, and affection. Heero noticed the look,
but didn�t say anything. He knew that Trowa missed the circus and working with
animals, it was something that was obvious, but it was also something that
Trowa and Quatre had to figure out for themselves. Trowa had to sacrifice a lot
for a relationship with Quatre and the blonde was finally realizing that fact.
Eventually, they would have to decide which one would have to sacrifice what
for the both of them to be happy. Heero wasn�t worried, though. Having Duo,
someone down to Earth and out of popular social circles, was making Trowa more
bold and open, and seeing him like that had probably shown Quatre that his
lover was having a hard time coping with his wealth. Their relationship had
lasted so long, Heero doubted his friends were stupid enough to let it die by
just not talking it out. In the meantime, Heero was glad that Duo and Trowa had
each other, it helped to keep them grounded. Duo
needed all the kind, understanding friends he could get.

�� Come in,� Trowa urged excitedly. Quatre and Heero couldn�t
help but smile seeing him that way and followed him inside.

��

�� Patches was lying on a pillow in the corner of the room and
Heero stared in amazement at the little� things nestled against her, the tired
mother cat diligently cleaning them with her tongue.

�� They�re so� tiny,� Heero said in shock. He knew that the
kittens would be small, but they reminded him more of gerbils than cats. Trowa
chuckled at him.

�� They may seem little now, but you�ll miss this when they
start to get bigger,� his green eyed friend promised. As cute as the tiny balls
of fur were, Heero found his eyes glued to Duo who was watching the kittens
with a peaceful, loving, enthralled expression, standing next to Name. That
expression made Heero�s heart pound and he found it a very difficult thing to
look away from the beautiful, rare sight of a very happy Duo. He walked over
and stood next to him carefully, not wanting to lose that smile.

�� How many?� he asked in a soft voice, not taking his eyes
off of Duo, struggling with a very physical effort not to try and hold his
hand, or worse, kiss him.

�� Seven,� Duo said in a giddy tone, �Five girls and two
boys. There are two Calicos, an all black, three tiger striped, and an all
grey.�

�� Heero�s eyes widened.

�� That�s a lot of cats,� he pointed out.

�� Well, I promised one of the tigers to Quatre and your mom
said I could keep the black one. She�s the runt of the litter and there�s
something wrong with her left front paw. The others will probably be adopted
quickly, but she�ll probably be� forgotten, put down if we give her to a
shelter, which I won�t do,� Duo whispered, a hardened, bitter look in his eyes
that Heero hated. The Japanese boy knew that Duo was thinking of his own
childhood and also knew that his friend wouldn�t let the cat, no matter what
was wrong with it, either die, or be neglected. Not only would he hate himself
for it, Duo didn�t have it in him to be that sort of person. Heero looked over
at the horde of baby cats and saw a small ball of black fur, even smaller than
the others, not drinking milk or being cleaned like the others, shivering
slightly. He had heard of mother cats eating the weakest of the litter, or
maybe that was wild dogs, he couldn�t remember, but the black kitten looked
like it was barely even alive, let alone able to defend itself.

�� Will they be ok around the other cats?� he worried. Duo
shook his head.

�� The males just won�t want anything to do with them. Toby
was like that when Shiva and Sammy were younger, but he never hurt them. The
females are socialized, so they won�t feel threatened by the kittens. They�re
cute, aren�t they? I can�t believe Patches had seven of them and she�s doing so
well!� Duo said excitedly, the same gleam in his eyes as Trowa�s. A lesser man
would have been thrown by Duo�s sudden change from agitation to joy, but Heero
was starting to get used to the boy�s strange moods enough to follow him
without getting a headache.

�� You�ll help me take care of them, right?�

�� The Japanese boy paled a little at the thought of being
trusted with such small, vulnerable creatures.

�� I� I don�t know how,� he confessed. He had never taken
care of anything, a cactus, a fish, not even a pet rock. The sight of the little,
weak, black kitten scared him. He had beaten boys twice his side to a bloody
pulp, holding something so fragile and small was out of his league.

�� It�s easy,� Duo assured him, �Patches will do most of the
work for awhile, we just need to help out. It�s kind of like babysitting.�

�� I�ve never babysat, either,� Heero said with a roll of his
eyes. Duo gave him a warm, affectionate look that made his heart start to race
again.

�� I�ll lead you through it,� Duo promised, but there was a
worried look in his violet eyes as he looked at the kittens. Heero found the
same look echoed in his mother and Trowa�s eyes as they all realized that, even
with its mother so close, the black kitten still showed no interest in feeding,
or even snuggling with her sisters and brothers, like the others were. With a
terribly sad look, Duo walked over to the cats and kneeled down. Heero half
expected Patches to take a swipe at him when the
longhaired boy reached his hand out to her, but either she was too tired to
care or trusted him completely, she merely purred weakly when he scratched her
ears with one hand and gently picked up the black kitten with other. Heero felt
overwhelmed at how the kitten�s size was brought to attention by how she was
dwarfed by Duo�s slender hand. The mother cat made no movement as the teenage
boy took her smallest baby away from her, merely continued to nurse and clean the
others.

�� The little black kitten shivered in Duo�s hand, its eyes
shut, just like the others, but somehow looked more pathetic and vulnerable.
Duo rubbed his finger against her head and she seemed to settle only slightly
at his touch. Heero could see what his friend had meant about her front leg; it
was thinner than the rest of her body and was curled up tightly to her chest,
as though she refused to move it.

�� Duo, she needs her mother�s milk,� Trowa pointed out,
putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, �If she doesn�t get the right
nutrients, she�s going to get sick.�

�� Duo nodded, cradling the baby cat to his chest, a broken
expression on his face. Heero realized that, if the kitten died, Duo would be
devastated. To Duo, animals were just as important as people, he would take any
of the cats� deaths like a mother would a child. He would probably even blame
himself for it, thinking he should have done something to prevent it. Heero
refused to let that happen. Duo�s equal love for his cats and his friends was
something that he treasured and loved about him.

�� How can you make her eat?� he asked. Trowa sighed.

�� She�s underdeveloped, even for a newborn. There might be
something wrong with her immune system or she might have not gotten enough
nourishment before being born. Whatever the case, she�s weak enough that food
isn�t even enticing her at this point and her muscles aren�t what they should
be,� he explained, �She�ll have to be force fed. The easiest way is with a
bottle, I don�t think we�ll be able to force her to drink Patches� milk at this
point.�

�� The vet gave me some formula in case this happened,� Duo
murmured, lightly stroking the little creature�s tail, hoping that the heat
from his hands would keep her from shivering so violently. Name patted his
back, smiling gently.

�� I�ll warm it up, Trowa can look after the other kittens,
ok?� she prodded. Heero followed the two of them as they walked out of the room;
Quatre looking conflicted between helping his lover with the healthy kittens
and helping his friends with the sick ones, but eventually decided not to leave
Trowa alone.

��

�� It was an odd feeling, watching his mother get a bottle
together for the kitten with such care and seeing a glimpse of what she might
have been like when he had been a baby. He wondered if she had been so precise
and intensely focused on him. Even when he was little, he remembered her being
strict, though he had never once doubted her love for him, even when they
bumped heads, which was frequently. He wasn�t sure what was more affecting, his
mother�s gentle look as she handed Duo the bottle of warm milk or the look on
his best friend�s face as he tried to feed the newest addition to their family.
The kitten seemed despondent at first, not caring about the food even as Name
tried to encourage her in a soft voice. Heero watched in utter amazement as Duo
stroked the cat�s spine and the tiny creature finally found either the energy
or the comfort to latch onto the bottle and suckle weakly.

�� Good girl,� Duo murmured, his face lighting up in relief,
a look that filled Heero�s insides with warmth.

�� She has to be fed regularly and kittens can�t go to the
bathroom on their own. You�ll have to either put a
light pressure on her stomach and spine, or put something wet and warm there to
help her go,� Duo told Name. Heero half expected her to look annoyed or
surprised, he had had no idea baby animals needed that sort of help, he was
sure that human babies didn�t, but Name just smiled at Duo in amusement.

�� You don�t mind, do you?� the longhaired boy asked
worriedly, �I know you said she�s my responsibility��

�� Name silenced him by ruffling his bangs.

�� And you�re doing a very good job from where I�m standing.
It would be irresponsible of me to not take care of her just because you can�t
while you�re at school and you�re certainly not taking her with you. Just show me
what to do and I�ll do it. But, Duo,� she cautioned warily, looking at the
scrawny creature Duo was feeding, �We don�t know what�s wrong with her. It�ll
cost hundreds of dollars, maybe even thousands, to treat her. What if she
doesn�t even last the end of the week? Are you willing to deal with that? None
of us would blame you for picking one of the healthy ones.�

�� Duo�s eyes hardened.

�� At the very least, I can give her a chance. She deserves
that much,� he said in a determined tone, �I can�t just give up on her so
quickly.�

�� Heero smiled at his friend�s words. It was just like Duo to
take on an impossible-seeming task to help someone, or something, worse off
than him. After all, even when he was poor, hurt, and starving, he had tried to
take care of all of his cats.

�� What else does she need?� Heero asked as Duo put the
bottle of milk down on the counter.

�� Well, I need to take her to the vet tomorrow to see what�s
wrong with her, but for tonight she needs someplace warm. Newborn kittens are
incapable of producing much body heat. Three of Shiva�s brothers and sisters
died the winter they were born because we couldn�t get them warm enough,� Duo
said with a slightly haunted look, �Patches will keep the others warm, but I�m
afraid that this one needs more attention that she can�t give with six other
kittens. I�ll keep her in my bed for a few weeks, that
should keep her warm.�

�� Clean up, I�ll check on Patches,� Name said with a nod,
leaving the two boys alone in the kitchen. Duo cradled the kitten against his
body again, his fingers lightly stroking her ears until she appeared to either
settle or fall asleep, it was hard for Heero to tell since her eyes were
closed.

�� You�re really good with her,� he said softly, �With all of
them. I know you have problems dealing with people, but you seem a lot more
confident around animals.�

�� Duo blushed a little.

�� Animals I can understand,� he murmured, �but people� I
don�t think I�ll ever understand why we do the things we do to each other. I�ve
studied psychology a little and I know that some people are just� sick� but, we
hurt each other, every day, all around the world. Animals hurt each other for
food, territory, the right to mate, but people hurt each other because it seems
like they enjoy it, or because they simply hate each other. I guess I could
never understand that kind of reasoning.�

�� You must hate me, then,� Heero said in a somber tone,
�Knowing what I�ve done in the past, that I�ve let my anger control me and that I�ve enjoyed hurting others, because it helped
me deal with my own pain.�

�� Duo shook his head.

�� You�re not so one sided. We all have our own demons, I
learned that a long time ago, and while I don�t like that you�ve let your
emotions turn you into that sort of person, I know you�re kind, too. And I know
that you have the ability to stop, not a lot of people have that.�

�� I suppose, going through the abuse you�ve suffered has
given you the strongest sort of deterrent against becoming someone like that,�
Heero said sadly.

�� Not entirely,� Duo said mournfully, �I�ve been so angry,
I�ve had people that I wanted to hurt, but I was so scared, I could never do
anything, and� in the end� I couldn�t see the point in it. I knew that it would
never make me feel better. I guess� I could never see the point in cruelty, to
either people or animals. I see it everyday, kids hurting animals, parents
hurting their kids, but I could never understand it. I lived with Wes for so
many years, but I could never figure out why he did� what he did, why he chose
me to do it. I think I could live for a hundred years and never come to terms
with that,� Duo looked away from Heero sharply, feeling tears prick his eyes.
Yes, he could live for an eternity and he didn�t think he would ever forgive
Wes for what he had done, or begin to understand why hurting him, taking what
he had had no right to take, had made the man so happy, or why he had thought
it was his� privilege to do so, just because he could. �He tensed in surprise as Heero suddenly hugged
him, careful of the cat in between them.

�� Then don�t understand it,� the Japanese boy whispered,
�But know that not everyone in the world is like that. You�re not like that, my
family isn�t like that. You won�t have to deal with that man anymore,
you don�t have to understand why he hurt you. Don�t let him win by thinking of
him for the rest of your life,� Heero smiled, but it was a little bit forced,
�Now, what are you going to name this little rag doll?� he asked, rubbing the
kitten�s ear.

�� Shei,� Duo answered with a small smile.

�� No,� Name snapped as she cut up some vegetables for their
dinner. Heero stood behind her, his arms crossed over his chest defensively
while Duo sat at the kitchen table, Shei in his palm as he gently massaged her
underdeveloped front leg.

�� Mom-,� Heero tried to protest.

�� No, Heero, it�s the worst idea in a long line of bad
ideas!� she whirled to face him, then turned to Duo,
who was looking at her with wide eyes.

�� Is this really what you want?� she asked, �Or are you
letting Heero bully you into it? I�d have though you�d want to stay here with
Shei next week, not go running around Boston.
Do you really think you�re up to this?�

�� Heero didn�t bully me,� Duo murmured, �It was my decision.
I want to go on the trip, I�ve wanted to go ever since
I first went to school. The vet said that Shei has some kind of� disorder, but
once she starts to develop more and builds up her muscles, she should be ok,�
he pointed out. He had been very relieved to learn of that fact yesterday,
after waiting for hours for the vet to tell him if his kitten was going to live
or die. It had turned out that Shei�s disorder was a
lot like his anemia, it made her weak and her immune system wasn�t even what her
siblings� were, but as long as he took proper care of her, she would live to
see adulthood. At first, he had considered not going on the trip, but he
realized that, not only would he be letting down his friends, there wasn�t
anything that he could do that Name couldn�t. There was that, plus the fact
that he really did want to go. The last time he had indulged in doing something,
simply because he wanted to, not because he had to or that it would be a good
thing for him was� well� deciding to sleep over at Heero�s the first time,
despite knowing what Wes would do to him afterwards. He wanted to leave this
town, even if it was for only a few days. It wasn�t just because it would be
good for him, like Heero believed, he didn�t care about that, he was just very
curious about what Boston
was like. He wanted to see things he had never seen before, just kick back with
his friends and experience something he had never done before� be normal. It
was very difficult to do that when the entire city he lived in reminded him of
his �past� life. He didn�t know if Name could see those feelings in his eyes,
but her own expression softened. Though she sighed heavily, Duo could tell she
was partially joking.

�� Well, I guess it would be cruel of me to say you couldn�t
go just because the two of you are perpetually giving me ulcers. You�re long
overdue for a good vacation, but if anything goes wrong and I mean anything, you have to call me. I want
you to keep both of your cell phones on at all times, Trowa and Quatre�s as
well,� she lectured, �and I�m paying the transportation, you two can figure out
the rest,� Duo opened his mouth to protest, but Name cut him off quickly, �No
negotiations, Duo. I�m sure that I�m not the only parent paying for the trip
and as long you live with us, I am your
parent.�

�� Her words sent an intense heat through Duo�s stomach,
strong enough to almost make him flinch, but he refused to show the affect her
sentiment had on him. A bit of movement caught his eye and he watched
cautiously as Shiva sauntered into the room. She was the second youngest of his
original brood and he was a bit worried about how she would react to Shei. The
first two nights, he had kept Shei in a laundry basket filled with warm
blankets by his bedside, so she wouldn�t fall off the bed and Shiva and Sammy
had seemed to take the hint that they weren�t allowed to investigate the
basket, but now there were no barriers with Shei napping in his hand. He had
told Heero not to worry about the kittens interacting with the adult cats, but
when Shiva finally noticed the youngest addition in her master�s hand and
walked up to check it out, Duo felt a spike of fear. He stayed stock still as
the older black cat put her paws on his legs and stretched her body to sniff at
the black ball of fur. The three humans watched in amazement as Shiva nudged
Shei with her nose and, when Shei gave out a tiny mewl,
Shiva rubbed her head against the kitten, cleaning her with her tongue, then
jumping up into Duo�s lap to snuggle with the baby cat. Duo smiled affectionately
at them, letting Shei curl up on his knee and stroking both of their ears.

�� Good girl,� he cooed, Shiva purring at the sound of his
voice.

�� How�s her leg?� Name asked, keeping her voice low.

�� She�ll have problems getting around for about a month, the
vet said,� Duo explained, �Something about her lack of muscle mass and how it�s
worse in that leg than the others. She just needs to exercise it when she
starts walking in a few days. She�ll open her eyes this week, probably, and be
able to eat solid food in a few weeks. She�ll be able to go to the bathroom on
her own before that,� he told Name.

�� Well, it looks like you have everything under control,�
Name said with an amused smile, �at least the other kittens aren�t so high
maintenance, with your calico doing all the work, where would you like for them
to go when their three weeks are up?�

�� Duo chewed on his lip at the question. In the last two
days, his attention had been stretched thin by school, work, Shei, and playing
with the other kittens who were developing better than the black kitten was,
and though they were all still blind, they were capable of a little play, even
if they slept most of the day, like most babies did. The knowledge that he
would have to give them away in only four weeks, at the most, made him feel
anxious. It would be the hardest part, not the giving away, but finding them
homes. It all boiled down to what he and Heero had talked about two nights ago�
cruelty. When he had first met Wes, he had thought �here was a man that sets me
completely ill at ease, yet he wants to help me, so maybe he is a good person.�
With that thought, it had been all too easy to go with him years later with the
promise of food. No, he hadn�t trusted him completely, no street kid knew that
sort of trust, but because he had remembered a man that could hurt him and, at
the time, had not, he had found it just slightly easier to go with him. Looking
at the blonde man, though his eyes had been cold, there hadn�t really been any
signs indicating the sort of man he had turned out to be. You could never tell
who would turn out to be a bastard and who would be your savior. When he had
first met Heero, he had had him pegged as a genuine asshole and look how that
had turned out. How was he supposed to trust his judgment with the people
taking his kittens when he couldn�t do it for himself? There was no way he was
giving them over to someone who might hurt them, in any shape or form, but how could
he tell that the people were good?

�� I haven�t figured that out yet,� he admitted, �I don�t
want to give them to a shelter, definitely not a pet store.�

�� I have a solution,� Trowa said from the doorway, Cassy in
his arms, rubbing her head against his hand, begging for attention, �If you
really can�t trust anyone, and I don�t blame you if you don�t, Quatre has 29
sisters and about ten of them would be glad to have some cats for themselves or
their children.�

�� Duo immediately brightened at the idea. He didn�t know
Quatre�s family, but he trusted his blonde friend to know what sister would
treat the cats right.

�� Uh, thanks,� he stammered out. Trowa smiled at him and
walked over to ruffle his hair, which Duo grumbled at.

�� I take it I�ll have to sign your and Quatre�s admittance
forms, too?� Name asked dryly, �I doubt your sister has a fax machine and Shahir will treat it as a practical joke.�

�� Trowa thought about that, he hadn�t even considered what he
and his lover were going to do for their forms, though he supposed he didn�t
really need it since he was over 18, but Quatre was out of luck. His father
didn�t even know that his �golden son� was taking public school classes, let
alone going on a field trip.

�� Yes please, mother dear,� Trowa teased.

�� Don�t get cheeky with me, Trowa Triton-Bloom Barton,
you�re not too old, or too tall, for me to pull you over my knee,� Name warned good naturedly.

�� Triton-Bloom?� Duo mouthed to
Heero, who was struggling to hold in his laughter at Trowa�s wide eyed look.

�� Yes, ma�am,� Trowa said quickly.

�� Despite Duo�s view of himself as someone that had lived
several lifetimes in a span of only a few years, there were a
lot things he had never done before that he probably should have. He had
never packed a suitcase before. He had never ridden in a school bus before. He
had never had to use a check list to get by for an entire week. He had also
never had to follow an animal around to make sure it wouldn�t walk into a wall,
but here he was dealing with all of those things. It was two days before he and
his friends got to go on the trip to Boston
and he was currently trying to pack what he needed into one of Name�s old, navy
suitcases. It was a new sensation for him, to have so many things, that he
actually had to make a decision what could be taken with him. It seemed like
ages ago since he could fit all of his position in his old, beat up duffle bag.
Among the packet of papers Une had given them was a check list for all of the
things they would need to bring, but Duo was still finding it hard to decide
what was necessary and what wasn�t. Quatre had commented an hour ago, watching
him struggle with what sort of shirts he should bring, that he was a boy scout,
always prepared for anything, and Duo supposed that, in a way, he was. He knew,
better than most, that anything could happen, and it was always better to have
something you would never need than to be without something that could very
well save your life. So, while packing what was �most necessary�, he couldn�t
help but second guess himself and go through every scenario, even ones that were
completely insane. Heero said it was just� in his nature. Taking a school bus
wasn�t such a problem for him since he reasoned it was probably a lot like
taking a city bus, only there were just his classmates with him and the ride
was going to take five hours instead of five minutes.

�� On top of all of his anxieties about the trip, Duo was also
dealing with Shei, who had finally opened her eyes a few days ago. The event
had been both a blessing and a curse for him, because it drove home to him that
his little kitten was never going to be completely healthy. Whatever disorder,
something Trowa had no problem pronouncing, but Duo stumbled over, had made
Shei weak and her leg underdeveloped had also made her blind in her left eye.
Her right was a brilliant yellow, just like Shiva�s, but her
left was a hauntingly beautiful mix between a light blue, silver, and white
with no pupil at all. To Duo, it looked a lot like the glowing full moon and
ever since then, Trowa had been calling her �Luna�, which had prompted Heero to
make jokes about something called �Sailor Moon�, which Duo didn�t understand.
Her newly awakened sight had given the kitten a sort of courage she had never
displayed before. Usually, she would stay with contact with Duo, terrified of
the world around her, her only real actions licking Duo�s fingers and mewling,
but now that her good eye was open, she was constantly limping around. Duo had
instinctually followed her around the first time she had tried to walk around
and he was glad that he had. With only one good eye and little motor skills
between her age and her game leg, the kitten frequently bumped into things, the
legs of the nightstand, the walls, Duo was terrified that if he didn�t stalk
her, she would fall down the steps or walk into something that could end up
hurting her little body. It never ceased to amaze him how quickly she became
attached to him and he couldn�t help but worry about what would happen when he
was gone on the trip, but he trusted Name to take care of Shei.

�� As he stood at the bed, folding his shirts, the black
kitten rubbed her head against his foot, the only part she could reach with her
size, and mewed pitifully for his attention. Shiva and Sammy watched this with
interest from their spots on the bed. Duo gently picked her up and let her lick
his cheek.

�� It�ll be ok,� he assured her, the cat�s little purrs at
the sound of his voice, the voice of the only being that had ever cared for
her, soothed his anxieties. She placed the paw of her hurt leg on Duo�s cheek
and rubbed her head against his skin affectionately.

�� Name�s been following her around while we�ve been at
school,� Trowa said as he walked into the bedroom. Duo stared at him, trying
not to laugh at the image of the powerful woman following his kitten around to
make sure she didn�t hurt herself.

�� Really?�

�� Trowa nodded.

�� I caught her when we got home today,� he said with a
chuckle, �She was following her like a guard dog.�

�� A surprised laugh bubbled out of Duo�s throat.

�� You have nothing to worry about,� Trowa assured him, �I
promise you, Duo, you will do fine. You�ll be safe, we all will be, and your
kitten will be fine.�

�� Duo gave him a grateful smile that made Trowa�s heart
clench at how much trust the longhaired boy had in him.

�� You�re right. I�m not going to run away anymore and if Wes
hasn�t made a move here, there�s no way he�s going to follow me to Boston. My head knows
that, my nerves just need to catch up to that fact,� he said, the two boys
watching as Shei curled up in his cupped palm, �She�s just so fragile, and I
have to admit, I�m a bit scared. I�ve never gone anywhere before and I hate
being unprepared.�

�� Trowa squeezed his shoulder.

�� Like I said, I promise you, we�ll keep you safe,� he
swore.

�� I believe you,� Duo said.

��

��

�� Duo had never had to deal with what Heero called a �spastic
Mom� before, but he could see how most would consider it nerve wracking as Name
had bombarded him and Heero with orders as they four of them practically ran
out the door with suitcases and duffle bags. It was still hard for him to
believe that they were really doing this. He supposed he was just as bad,
though, as all he could say to Name in the last hour before they had to go to
the school to get on the bus was what to do to take care of Shei. The amused
smile on Heero and Trowa�s faces had been worth it, though, despite his anxiety
over leaving his animals alone. Behind his anxieties and fear, he felt a very
intense excitement over the trip as they piled into Heero�s car and drove to
the school. He had never really considered himself a parent before, but even
Quatre had poked fun at him acting like Name with the prospect of leaving for a
week. He still didn�t know what scared him more, being away from people and
things that he cared about, or doing something that he had never done before,
far away from the comforts he had been given the last few months. Well� that
wasn�t entirely true. A lot of his comforts were now sitting next to him on the
school bus, along with about fifty other students. Duo leaned his forehead against
the cool glass of the window as Une prattled on about hotel room numbers and
where they were going to stop to have dinner, as well as remarking that there
weren�t nearly as many students as last year as she stood at the front of the
bus. He felt Heero stiffen next to him and looked over in confusion. His violet
eyes met with Zechs� light blue ones momentarily, the taller boy sneering at
him, but Duo looked over at the window again, ignoring him. Only Heero noticed
the furious look Zechs gave the back of Duo�s head.

�� Move forward, Merquise,� Une snapped from the front of the
bus. Zechs growled at her, but walked forward as the people behind him grumbled
that he was holding up the line. Heero fought the urge to childishly stick his
tongue out at Zechs� back, but decided to be the �better man� about it. He
certainly felt that way with Duo�s shoulder pressed against his as they sat in
the small seat together. It felt so good, that gentle pressure, feeling Duo�s
warmth against him. He asked himself, it seemed like everyday, why he could
never tell him how he felt about him. He figured it boiled down to a several
things. He was afraid of rejection, who wouldn�t be when they were facing their
first, true love, not to mention that that love was his best friend? One of the
biggest reasons was Duo�s past. He was afraid that if he ever confessed to
being in love with him, Duo would panic or feel obligated, just because he
didn�t want Heero to be angry or disappointed at him. Also, Duo was the
defining point of his sexuality. His engagement with Relena and his inability
to have sex with her had made him question it, and he had always known that he
was capable of feeling things for both sexes, but what he felt for Duo seemed
so powerful, he couldn�t imagine feeling anything like it for a girl. Still, he
had never had an actual homosexual relationship before and he would have to be
an idiot not to be a little bit scared. But, there was also the fact that he
didn�t need it to be happy. Yes, it hurt, knowing he would never be able to
touch Duo in the way he really wanted, but feeling him next to him was so
wonderful, it was enough for him. Something so little, something that was so
incredible for him, had never been enough for a greedy bastard like Zechs who
had had to take everything, things that he had no right to take. Heero could
never do that, he was just glad for any small bit of affection Duo could give
him. But he would never steal it, even if it had to hurt for the rest of his
life.

�� Duo jolted in shock as the bus started suddenly and started
to move. Before he could even automatically grab Heero�s hand, his best
friend�s larger hand was around his, squeezing tight.

�� You ok?� Heero asked softly, his voice nearly overshadowed
by the cheers and loud voices of the other students. Duo nodded.

�� I�ll be fine,� he assured him, �It�s just weird, you know?
I�ve never left this town in my entire life. I was born here, I think, and I
thought that I would die here without seeing a different sky. Now, it feels
like it�s so soon, like I�m too young for this to happen. I didn�t even have to
sell my soul for it to happen, just pay 75 bucks and get someone to sign a
form.�

�� Heero smiled at him affectionately. Duo acted so incredibly
mature one moment and then an innocent child the next. Some might find it
painful or confusing, but he found it adorable.

�� Their town didn�t have one of those �Now Leaving� signs,
just a sign with the name of their town and then another sign with the name of
the next town. Still, Duo felt a thrill when the bus passed over that invisible
line, a sort of electric sensation as he realized that he was now in a
different place and, in only a few hours, he would be in a different state. Someplace
with a huge amount of people that he had never met, wearing and speaking
different things, bright lights everywhere and smells he had never experienced.
There was that feeling again, that rush of fear and excitement all rolled up
into one. The days prior to this felt like they had gone by in a rush, taking
care of Shei, packing, all of it, but right now, it felt like time had slowed
to a stop, but he didn�t hate the slowness of it. He realized that, sitting
next to Heero so closely, knowing that he would spending the week with him, far
away from the home that he had always known, there wasn�t really any other
place he would rather be. It felt� nice, even among his worries and fears.

�� Heero was extremely grateful that, two hours into the bus
ride, his other classmates grew tired of singing and playing weird verbal games
with the teachers and chaperones and settled down to read or listen to music on
their own. Quatre and Trowa were playing cards while Wufei was reading in the
seat in front of them. Duo had fallen asleep on his shoulder about an hour ago
and Heero had no desire to wake him up since he seemed comfortable and he knew
that he probably hadn�t slept well last night. He was probably one of those
people that could sleep anywhere and after his excitement over seeing a forest
for the first time, he had settled enough to dose off.
It reminded Heero of his promise to take him to the beach some time. It made
him feel bad that he hadn�t been able to fulfill that promise yet. He wondered
if Duo even remembered, or he resented him for not going through with it, though
he doubted that was true, but he also doubted that Duo had forgotten. Still, so
much had happened and he had never gotten the chance to go through with it. Boston was on the water,
too, but it wasn�t quite the same thing and he knew that Duo would see it the
same way. His excitement over the forest had been obvious and it had made Heero
smile as well. Leave it to a boy that had lived his whole life in the middle of
Maine to fall
in love with more nature. Of course, the town they lived in wasn�t exactly in the
boonies, but if a moose or fox wandered through the town, no one would loose
their minds over it. One day, he wanted to take Duo to a national park or zoo,
but he wondered if it would be too painful for him, too much like a date. He
frowned as he watched Duo sleep, the younger boy�s expression tightening in a
sort of mental pain. He took a risk and brushed Duo�s bangs out of his face,
glad that the longhaired boy didn�t so much as flinch at the touch.

�� Don�t dream,� he murmured.

�Why would I let the best thing in my life slip
through my fingers?�

�I love you like a son.�

�� Nonsensical
phrases, but they sounded so familiar� He was moving through the darkness,
though it felt like a fog, voices and objects garbled until the familiar became
odd to him, things from so long ago� he didn�t want to remember them. Suddenly,
he realized that he wasn�t alone as he walked. Another was by his side,
matching each step. He whirled and caught a glimpse of a pale face and long,
ebony hair.

�Don�t ever let them get the drop on you. Don�t ever
let them turn you into something you�re not� if that were to happen� There�s no
going back. We�re not puppets, Duo, we�re nothing less
than human. So� don�t let them win. Never let them win� Even if we die
fighting, it�s better than living a lie. I�d rather die knowing my true worth,
than live as anything less than I am. Don�t let them convince you of anything,
only we know our true worth, do you understand, Duo?�

More words from the past, but they made his insides
hurt.

�What do you mean?� he heard himself ask, but it
wasn�t really himself. Rather, it was a part of him from long ago, a very old
memory.

�They never give up,� the black haired boy said, �I
tried to run away, but your past follows you. You have to burn it every scrap
of it until there�s nothing left. That�s the only way to escape it, but even
then� the ghost of it always remains. Those ghosts will find you in the end,
and unless you know who you are,
they�ll destroy you. Don�t let them get the drop on you. You�re stronger than
that. If you can remind yourself that people will say things, say lies, just to
hurt you, that you, and only you, can know yourself to make any judgments, you
can survive anything.�

He heard himself laugh, but it was a dark,
disbelieving sound.

�But what if you�re just lying to yourself? What if
you don�t know yourself at all? What if you�re too weak to know the
difference?�

The other boy smiled at him and sharp pain shot
through Duo�s chest as he realized who it was, and when.

�If you�re so weak, you wouldn�t have lasted in this
business for so long.�

�Duo,
wake up,� Heero gently shook his friend�s shoulder. Slit violet eyes peered up
at him groggily.

�Yuki?�
he murmured sleepily in confusion. Heero frowned. He hadn�t thought that Duo
spoke Japanese, unless he was referring to a person, but he couldn�t think of
anyone in town with a Japanese name besides himself. Duo rubbed at his eyes,
sitting up straighter as his surroundings came back to him.

�We�ve
stopped?� he asked, his dreams fading away into nothingness, only a few sparks
of incoherent memory remaining.

�Dinner
time, Duo,� Trowa said with a soft smile as he stood next to their seat, Quatre
waiting impatiently for the line of students in front of him to move so they
could leave the cramped bus. Duo stretched his arms over his head.

�Where
are we? How long has it been?� he asked.

�We�re
in Concord, New Hampshire,� Quatre offered, �It�s been
two hours since we left town, but we still have another two hours to go.�

Duo
groaned loudly as he stood, popping his spine.

�I
can�t believe I fell asleep,� he grumbled. Heero chuckled, the line moving
forward enough that he could leave their seat and stumble into the aisle.

�You
didn�t sleep well last night, did you?�

Duo
blushed guiltily.

�Not
really,� he admitted, �I�ve never dealt with excitement or anxiety well.�

�Though
I never had much to be excited about in the past,� he thought silently, but he
knew his friends would add that sentiment onto his sentence on their own. He
followed Heero as the five of them shuffled off the bus and into some sort of
roadside complex. Duo had never seen one before, but understood the concept.
The parking lot was bigger than the building itself, filled with their school
buses and tons of other cars and vehicles, even a few motorcycles. He knew that
there were places like this all over the major roads where people on long trips
could stop for a bite to eat or a map, if they were lost. The outside of it
didn�t look all that extraordinary, but he looked around the inside with
interest. The �rest stop�, if it could even be called such a thing, monopolized
on the same stereotype that all Northern New England tourist attractions did
and the inside of the building had been built to look like the inside of a log
cabin with dark, aged wood everywhere and pictures of moose, salmon, leaves in
the fall, and even some photos and paintings of wolves. Duo had never come
across a wolf in his entire life and he was pretty sure that the only wolves in
New England existed in parks and zoos, so when
they passed a small boy that claimed he and his parents could see one, or
perhaps even a bear, on their camping trip, Duo rolled his eyes to himself.

�� I thought wolves were extinct up here?� Quatre noted
having seen the same picture that Duo had.

�� They are,� Trowa said dryly, �the bottom of the photo says
it was taken at Yellow Stone. Just don�t tell the tourists that.�

�� Isn�t that what we are?� Duo asked him with a fake
wide-eyed look.

�� Hardly,� Trowa gave an equally fake nose-in-the-air expression,
�We are proper New Englanders.�

�� Heero sighed dramatically as Duo and Trowa chuckled
together. Having lived most of his life in Italy, Trowa was as far away from a
�New Englander� as you could get.

�� Like peas in a pod,� he noted in a low voice. It was
almost scary how alike Duo and Trowa were, especially their sense of humor. Duo
looked around and saw with relief that, amidst the tourist gift shops and mini
local museum attractions, not to mention stand after stand of brochures, there
was a bathroom and a food court.

�� I could kill for a hamburger,� he grumbled. Having never
traveled before, or fallen asleep on a bus before, he was unfamiliar with the
drowsy, heavy feeling he had, or the sense of confusion and alienation of
falling asleep in one state and waking up in another. He felt that some hot
food in his stomach would wake him up and he had the sudden intense craving for
beef.

�� How about a double hamburger, fries, and a milk shake, with a piece of hot apple pie for dessert?�
Heero suggested, noticing that one of the restaurants was a chin that existed
in their town. Duo looked like he was almost ready to drool at the thought of a
hot meal.

�� There is a God and his name is Heero!� Duo exclaimed
cheekily.

�� Ok, everyone!� Une�s no nonsense
voice caught the attention of students and tourists alike, �The buses will be
leaving in exactly one hour, so whatever it is you have to do here, do it fast!
If you are not on the bus you came in on, none
of us will be leaving! In the 36 years we have been going on this trip, we
have never lost a single person and that is a trend we wish to uphold! The next
time the buses stop, we�ll be in Boston,
Massachusetts!�

�� A cheer went up among the students and Duo couldn�t help
but feel energized. Her role as chaperone and pretty much �den mother� to the
large group of teenagers completed for the moment, Une left to call her husband
in a whirl of mahogany hair. She always wished that they could go together on
these field trips, a sort of small vacation from their busy lives as teachers,
but since Treize was the principal, he had to always stay behind, especially
this year with a smaller group going on the trip.

�� Let�s go get you that burger,� Trowa said, clapping Duo on
the shoulder, �I could go for a nice chicken sandwich myself.�

�� Une smiled to herself as she managed to overhear the tall
boy�s comment as he led Duo towards the food court. She knew that, as a
teacher, she wasn�t supposed to play favorites, but she was glad that Duo was
going on the trip this year. It had been painful to watch the shy, lonely child
Duo had been being left behind year after year, watching the throng of kids
getting on the buses with a longing look. It was obvious to her that the trip
was already doing him a lot of good, or perhaps that was just being with his
friends. It made her smile brightly at how much he had changed, from reclusive
and anti-social to the point of social terror to joking and hanging out with
friends he had only had for a few months, as though they were brothers. She was
glad that, for once, she could see a happy ending for someone who truly
deserved it.

�� Dinner was a nice affair, most of the students too hungry
and eager to see the bright lights of Boston
to pull anything, especially with Une and the other teachers watching them like
hawks. Zechs had bumped into Duo when he had tried to get to their table, but
the longhaired brunette was agile enough to right himself without spilling so
much as a single fry, which seemed to only agitate Zechs further. Heero had
looked like he was going to start something, but Trowa kept a hand on his
shoulder until Duo was seated and they all acted like nothing had happened.

�� At one point, a family of tourists had sat down at the
table next to theirs and talked about their trip so far. They had traveled from
Tennessee to
here in an RV they had rented. Duo wondered what that was like, piling into a
confined space and driving all over the country. At the same time it sounded
kind of stressful, it sounded fun, too. Of course, he was sure that the family
didn�t have the problem with small spaces that he had, or staying in one place
for long periods of time� It would be fun to see so many different places and
people and wildlife� but even he knew his own limitations and that such a trip
wouldn�t end well for him, at least not at this stage of his life. Suddenly,
Trowa tensed beside him and Duo came back to the family�s conversation quick
enough to catch a comment about �up-state inbred hicks� and �illegal mutts�.
The scathing conversation was sharp enough that Duo felt fury boil in his gut
and he glared over at the family, only to find both the mother and father
giving their group an equal glare and realized that the comments had been
directed at him and his friends. That only made the fury crest
stronger and stronger inside of him. He didn�t know what pissed him off more,
how the mother was glaring at his two Asian friends like they were demons, or
how they had somehow focused on his own, slight, Maine accent and had judged him for it. It
was something he didn�t even think about. Sure, Wes had never had that accent
and Duo was sure he had lived somewhere else, but he had lived in Maine his
entire life and that accent was just so� normal for him, he never had even
thought about it� Did that make him a hick, having something that defined him
as coming from some place specific? He didn�t even know why it made him feel
sick inside, being signaled out by something he had never even realized about
himself. He wasn�t sure what he wanted, to get out of his seat and punch one of
them in the face for daring to say such things about his friends, or run and
hide from just one more person, or in this case four, judging him for something
he couldn�t change. However, Trowa didn�t give him the chance to make any sort
of decision. The mother watched with wide eyes as the tall boy stood and
approached them.

�� My friends and I would really appreciate it if you would
keep your voices down,� he said slowly, in a low, non-hostile tone, �We�re
trying to eat and your� language� is very distasteful.�

�� The father narrowed his eyes at him.

�� What I find distasteful is being talked back to by someone
who doesn�t deserve to be here,� the man snapped.

�� Fence fairy,� his wife hissed at Trowa, who looked at her
in shock. Duo half expected his friend to slap her, but the green-eyed boy
stayed stock still and Duo realized he could easily see the lion-wrangling
circus boy Trowa had been.

�� Actually, I�m Italian,� Trowa corrected as though he were
talking to a small child, �If you�re going to insult people, use the correct
insults or you come off as� childish. Of course, you come off that way,
anyway.�

�� The man grit his teeth, opening
his mouth to yell at Trowa, but the boy interrupted him in a flurry of motion,
slamming his hands on the table.

�� Use such disgusting language in front of my friends again,
and I�ll show you what a �savage� I can be,� he said in a frighteningly cold
voice. The family stared at him in fear, even as he walked briskly out of the
food court.

�� Trowa�� Quatre murmured. He had never seen his lover upset
in their entire time together. It was more than just slightly alarming. Wufei
couldn�t believe the entire scene and felt a bit relieved that none of their
classmates had noticed what had happened. He still couldn�t fathom the sort of
mentality that could insult people based on their looks, and what was that shit
about �up-state hicks�? He knew that it had rankled a bit with Duo and that
felt worse to him than any �Chink� comments they could have dished out. Duo was
from their own goddamn country and they still found
fault with him just because of the way he spoke, and in reality, his accent was
barely there. It just made him realize that people never changed. There were
people that hated each other for such stupid reasons as �differences�, so why
was it so easy for the five of them, all from different places and different
beliefs, to be so close?

�� Heero watched in shock as it wasn�t Quatre who ended up
running after Trowa, but Duo. He rose, but Quatre grabbed his arm.

�� Don�t,� the blonde pleaded, �You know how he likes his
privacy. He�s probably embarrassed��

�� Sad aqua met furious cobalt for a brief moment before Heero
turned his angry look at the family.

�� I�m not going after him. Whatever�s bothering him, Duo can
talk him down from. Better than I ever could,� Heero pointed out. It was
something that his best friend was good at, Duo had
talked him down plenty of times in the past.

�� I just suddenly have the urge to not be here anymore,� he
said stiffly.

�� Despite only being a few minutes behind Trowa, Duo found
himself struggling to keep up with his much taller friend until the two boys
ended up in one of the bathrooms. Duo was immensely glad that there was no one
else there, especially for some of the things he needed to say. Despite the
wide spread belief among his classmates, his personal life was not on display, and certainly none of
their business. Just to be safe, he closed the door behind him and wedged the
door stop under the crack to keep it stuck. If Trowa noticed him do this, he
didn�t say anything about it as he stood at the sinks, looking at his
reflection in the mirror.

�� I�m sorry,� he said, still not facing Duo.

�� Sorry?� Duo questioned. He mentally went through
everything that had happened in the last half an hour, but couldn�t come up
with anything that Trowa would feel the need to apologize for.

�� Scaring you, I mean,� the green eyed boy clarified. Duo
shrugged.

�� You only scared me because you�re my friend and I�m
worried about you. Did what they say bother you that badly?� he asked. Trowa
finally turned to face him, his arms folded over his chest.

�� Until I had met Quatre, I had never been outside of Italy,
had never had to deal with people that might� think things of me just because how
I looked or spoke. But, then we started to date and suddenly I was traveling
all over the place. I learned pretty quickly how to develop thick skin to people�s numerous prejudices. I had thought I could handle
anything anyone threw at me, but in all those times, I was the one dealing with the slurs. I don�t think Quatre�s ever
heard those things before. I never wanted him to hear those things. And then,
when you realized that they were talking about you and you got that� look in your eyes, I guess I kind of snapped,�
Trowa explained.

�� What look?� Duo asked in confusion. He wasn�t aware he had
a look. Of course, he hadn�t been aware that he had had an accent, either.

�� Sometimes, you get this look, like you�re second guessing
yourself, like you�re measuring yourself up and you never like what you find. I
hate that look, and I hate anyone who can put that look in your eyes,� the
taller boy said stiffly, �And you�re certainly not an �in-bred hick.��

�� I could be,� Duo pointed out, �For all I know, my parents
could be sewer mutants or something.�

�� Trowa snorted.

�� You shouldn�t have to deal with people like that. Heero
and Quatre were pretty well protected, but only out in the open. In reality,
Heero got the worst of it out of the three of us. In Japan, he didn�t fit in because he
was tall and had blue eyes, everywhere else he didn�t fit in because he looks
Japanese. He never really fit in anywhere, but somehow, here, when he�s with
you, he looks like he doesn�t belong anywhere else. You look the same way,�
Trowa said softly. Duo blushed darkly and found that he couldn�t say anything
to that, whether it was the truth or not.

�� Do I look Mexican to you?� Trowa suddenly blurted out. Duo
gave out a sharp bark of laughter in surprise.

�� N-no� You just� uh� look like� Trowa�� Duo stammered to
find the right response. He wasn�t sure what Mexican people or Italian people
were supposed to �look like�. He wasn�t even sure if there was such a thing as
being able to tell where someone came from, just by what they looked like. However,
Trowa smiled at him affectionately, so he hoped he had said something right.

�� Do you remember your parents?� Duo ventured cautiously. He
remembered Quatre telling him that Trowa�s parents had died when he had been
just a baby, and he knew that his older sister had taken care of him and then
his uncle, but he wondered if he had any little memories of his parents at all.
To his dismay, Trowa shook his head.

�� For as long as I can remember, Catherine was there for me,
like a young mother that I could talk to and joke
around with. Even before I knew that sort of monster that my uncle was, I felt
closer to her. Sometimes, you�re distant from your family, you feel like
they�re strangers. But� Catherine actually felt like
my sister, you know? Like we were kindred spirits as well as
family.�

�� It must have been nice,� Duo told him with a smile, �To
have someone that�s related to you always be there, to
know where you came from.�

�� Trowa nodded.

�� It was.�

�� Where do� where do you think I came from, racially, I
mean?� Duo asked. It was something that he had thought about through the years,
but not very often and not very hard, though he didn�t know if it was because
he didn�t have the information to think on it for very long, or that it was
simply to painful to try to think of the things he couldn�t remember, no matter
how hard he had tried as a child. His blush grew as Trowa studied his face.

�� European without a doubt,� he said, �Irish, a bit of
Swedish, quite a bit of German, I think. Does it bother you that much, not
knowing where you came from? Don�t you have any memories of your family at all?�

�� Duo looked away from him.

�� Not really. The first thing I remember is waking up and
being on the streets. I couldn�t remember where I came from before that, how old
I was, or even my own name, let alone remember my parents. It�s strange, no one
really remembers the first three to four years of their lives and neither do I,
yet I�m missing this huge chunk of my life. Just not remembering such a small
amount of time, and I got lost, I don�t even know who I am, not really, anyway.
I may say that I�ve lived my whole life in one place, but that�s not true. I
could have come from anywhere at all and I�ll never know the truth, just what
my mind remembers, which isn�t very reliable. I�ve lost memories before and who
knows what I�ve forgotten-,� Duo said passionately.

�� The two teenagers jumped as someone tried to open the door,
followed by a sharp knocking.

�� Hey, open the door!�

�� Shut the fuck up!� Trowa snapped, angry that the boy had
interrupted Duo, especially considering what he had been telling him.

�� Asshole,� came the muffled
response, but they listened as the boy shuffled off.

�� I dreamt of her in the hospital,� Duo murmured, as though
he were talking to himself. Trowa looked at him with wide green eyes.

�� Duo?� he asked, unsure of what was happening. He had been
sure that, with the interruption, Duo would have let the topic drop and now
that he hadn�t, Trowa wasn�t sure what to say. He wasn�t even sure of what Duo
had meant with what he had just said. The longhaired boy looked at him and the
look in his violet eyes chilled Trowa to the bone.

�� When I was in the hospital and my withdrawal was making me
so sick, I had this dream,� Duo tried to explain, �there was this woman singing
to me. It was a lullaby and her voice was so familiar� Does that count as a
memory? What if, somewhere deep inside, I remember her voice? Or� maybe I was
just going crazy because I was in so much pain��

�� Trowa sighed sadly and pulled Duo into his arms. The other
boy didn�t protest, but was unable to look up at his friend.

�� I guess I�ve spent too much time wondering why I was on my
own, if my parents had died, or if they hated me enough to actually leave me on
the side of the road somewhere. That voice� that song� it was
probably all in my head� but it made me feel better, to think that I
could remember my mother�s voice,� Duo said into Trowa�s shirt.

�� I think� if your parents did abandon you, then they didn�t
deserve you in the first place,� Trowa said, resting his chin on the top of
Duo�s head, �And I think that you did just fine without parents. You may never
know where you came from, and I may never know how my parents knew to put me in
my sister�s care, instead of my uncle�s, but we didn�t do so bad, did we? As
far as families go, the family we have right now is pretty kick ass.�

�� Duo chuckled and gave his friend a brief hug before they
broke away.

�� Well, there is that. They probably think you put a bomb in
that family�s RV or something,� the longhaired boy smirked. Trowa bent down to
un-wedge the doorstop and opened the door for Duo.

�� That sounds like a pretty good idea, actually,� he said
cheekily. Duo swatted his arm.

�� Don�t say that! I could see Wufei doing that, maybe, or
perhaps Quatre, but not you,� he said with a grin.

�� Oh? What about Heero and me? What would we do?� Trowa
asked as they left the bathroom and headed back towards the front of the
building.

�� Well, Heero would probably just beat the crap out of them,
but you would stake a darker territory and break their fragile, boring
psyches.�

�� Trowa laughed, a rare sound.

�� And you would take the high road and just ignore the lot
of them,� Trowa said. Duo smiled at him, but didn�t tell him about the
incredible rage at the family he had felt earlier.

End Part 4
- 9
- 10
- 11
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The Road to Kindness