Drabbles from a warped mind.

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in ages, writer's block and real life hate me. So I offer this as a peace offering. I know it isn't a fic perse but it is the reason my writer's block has now gone XD Writing this helped me hear the muse again and it was so much fun to do. There is one queston that even inspired its own fic which I will write as soon as humanly possible. Enjoy and I'll post the next drabble tomorrow. It slightly crosses over with Bleach too XD

Choose 10 of your favourite anime/manga/cartoon characters.....and on with the crack --er—quiz. I really do suggest that you write down the 10 names you want to use in order now, otherwise it will spoil it for you.

1. Roy Mustang - FMA
2. Alex Louis Armstrong - FMA
3. Ichigo Kurosaki - Bleach
4. Urahara Kisuke – Bleach
5. Edward Elric - FMA
6. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez - Bleach
7. Alfons Heiderich - FMA
8. Zaraki Kenpachi - Bleach
9. Alphonse Elric - FMA
10. Jean Havoc - FMA

Yes I like FMA and Bleach, so sue me!

(4) Urahara invites (3) Ichigo and (8) Kenpachi to dinner at their house. What happens?

Mayhem ensues. Nothing is edible and Urahara is constantly trying to jump Ichigo and fuck his brains out like the perv that he is while Kenpachi just wants to fight him and then fuck him. Poor Ichigo is literally caught between a rock (Ken-chan) and a hard place (Urahara) ^_^

Puns totally intended, that question was just a gift for the perverted, innuendo filled mind that I have.

(9) Al tries to get (5) Ed to go to a strip club.

Ed would be mortified. His little brother wants to go where? Who even told him what one is? God help the person who corrupted his younger, so much more innocent brother. Meanwhile Al is thinking that if he can just get Ed really drunk he might not notice it is a gay strip club and if he can get him really really drunk, maybe he can finally get in Ed’s pants and fuck his brains out.

And that is the closest you will see me come to Elricest right now.

You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose (1) Roy or (6) Grimmjow?

Choices, choices how to choose, either way I will not lose. Both have got that handsome look, but which one would I rather fuck? God damn that’s a hard decision. Do I want the ladies man, dark eyes, dark hair, broody, a real charmer and oh so fuckable? Or do I choose Mr Rough with the blue hair, stubborn attitude and sharp sword? Roy’s probably too busy fucking Ed anyway. Grimm, here I come ;-P These really bad double entendres just seem to keep happening XD

(2) Armstrong and (7) Heiderich are making out. (10) Havoc walks in...Their reaction?

OH GOD!! MY EYES, MY EYES. I’M BLIND!! IT BURNS!

(3) Ichigo falls in love with (6) Grimm. (8) Kenpachi is jealous. What happens?

Tickets, buy your tickets here folks. Grimmjow versus Zaraki, fight of the century. Winner gets to pop Kurosaki’s cherry.

*Ichigo walks up behind me, ‘Oi Bastard’ and chases me with Zangetsu*

(4) Urahara jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? (10) Havoc (2) Armstrong or (7) Heiderich?

I think I’d rather Armstrong didn’t save me, that would be just too much with the sparkles and the shirt loss and I think I’d rather stay with Urahara. I’d be happier if Havoc came to save me. He could use Alfons as bait to lure Urahara away and while Kisuke was raping the fuck out of the very supple Alfons, Havoc would rescue me.

(1) Roy decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening?

Panic, despair and destruction as the studio goes up in flames, people running for their lives as a rather singed Roy stands their looking confused and a rather soot covered Ed stands there looking murderous *he was dragged along for moral support and to see if this would help Roy get into his pants*. I told him not to cook using his gloves.

(5) Ed is in a car crash and is critically injured. What does (9) Al do?

Frets constantly. He creates ruts in the floor from pacing back and forth while praying to any deity that will listen. Asking to be saved from the wrath of Winry when she finds out what Ed has done to her wonderful automail. Death will be no excuse for him not to apologise to her.

(3) Ichigo has to marry either (8) Kenpachi, (4) Urahara or (9) Al. Who do they chose?

Well Al is too young, even if he is really sweet and the only choice he could make if he ever wants to be on top again but Al reminds him too much of Yuzu and that would just be so wrong. That leaves the pervert and the psychopath. That rock and hard place theme is back again. If he chooses Urahara it would never be boring, the sex would always be a mind blowing adventure but there is always the chance of waking up one day to find out you have ears and a tail because one of Kisuke’s experiments has gone wrong and Yoruichi is trying to show you just how to clean them probably. The washing of the base of the tail is rather…interesting. On the other hand there is Kenpachi who wants to fight you all the time. He’s strong and if he is proportionately developed then sex would be painful but very rewarding, also the rough aspect is something to think about. The real hazard of course is that wonderfully painful serrated edged sword of his. There would be nowhere to run but he would heal, plus sweaty body, too much adrenaline…thought doesn’t really need finishing. Decisions, decisions…It has to be Ken-chan, Urahara is just too creepy at times and that rough sex thing beats out kinky sex for little Ichigo, he must be a pain addict considering what he’s been through.

(And yes I may have thought about this too much)

(7) Alfons kidnaps (2) Armstrong and demands something from (5) Edward for (2) Armstrong’s release. What is it?

He demands more screen time in the movie and to not bloody die but when he realises that Ed doesn’t actually want Armstrong back (the laughing hysterically was a huge hint) he threatens to give him back if Ed doesn’t let him fuck his brains out. Constantly, all night, he might even consent to switching it up. If Ed can’t keep going he will be subjected to Armstrong’s sparkles.

You get to meet either (1) Roy or (6) Grimmjow. Who do you chose?

Not this choice again. It was hard enough the first time. Grimm would be fun, he’s so hot but he’d probably rip my head off or something, especially if he’s in a mood because Ichigo has been denying him sex, again.

It has to be Roy this time, at least he wouldn’t kill me and there’s always the possibility of him flirting with me. After all, he’s flirted with everyone else, the men included. And if I’m really lucky I might just get to watch Roy and Ed in a passionate lip lock, it would be a good nosebleed :P

(10) Havoc challenges (4) Urahara to a chariot race. Why?

Because he wants to show off while wearing Roman clothes. Roman clothes that leave very little to the imagination, I do like staring at those legs. Why he chose Urahara is a slight mystery though.

Why is (6) Grimmjow afraid of (7) Alfons?

Because 7 fucked over 8 to get to 9.

Grimm’s afraid because Alfons used one of his rockets to fuck over Kenpachi and get him out of the way so that he could reach Al and play with him. Grimm’s worried because he’s in between Alfons and Ed.

(And this is about as close as I get to Alcest at the moment too. Oh and the rocket sex is a nod to Blysse, I adore her work)

(10) Havoc gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

Ed and Roy sit at the back looking completely uninterested, while surreptitiously having their hands down each others pants. Ichigo is again between that rock and hard place only this time it is two hard places, both Urahara and Kenpachi waiting for the right moment to snatch the strawberry away and fuck him senseless. Grimm is trying to work out just what all the sparkles around Armstrong are actually for and batting at them because let’s face it, cats and sparkles usually mean kitty play time. Armstrong is sat at the front weirding everyone out, especially Havoc. Al is splitting his time between listening to Havoc’s version of Snow White, watching kitty Grimm play with Armstrong’s sparkles wondering if Ed would let him keep him and staring at Alfons across the way and wondering how long it would take for the German version of him to jump his bones if he sashayed towards him. Alfons thinking the exact same thing about Al.

Havoc is completely oblivious to everything but Armstrong because let’s be clear, you can’t really miss him, while continuing to tell his story. It goes down well until Ed hers himself likened to a dwarf called Grumpy and then all hell breaks loose.

(This has actually given me the idea to write that damn fic and as soon as I have time, hopefully sometime this week, I will post it)

(6) Grimmjow and (1) Roy are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does (6) Grimm save him self or (1) Roy?

Himself! There are no arguments for or against here. Grimm is a selfish bastard, he saves himself, Roy be damned he never had a chance.

Which one of them is most likely to fail at life?

The obvious answer would be Alfons due to his tendency to get shot while helping Ed, oh and that whole illness thing. But I’m going to say Urahara because technically he’s already dead and if he carries on perving someone is going to destroy him completely. More than likely Ichigo if he finds the secret stash of naked pics Kisuke has of him.

(7) Alfons makes an apple pie. Is it any good?

Oh yeah! Especially when he adds the secret ingredient and serves it to Al and Ed. Rohypnol is a wonderful thing ^_~