Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Nowhere: 1
By : FelixMcKadden
Category: Missing Data > Missing Data
Views: 105 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer:
Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Nowhere: ten
My name.
My name is Vegeta.
Vegeta.
Vegeta is my name.
What's in a name?
What is its purpose?
What is my purpose when everything of me is gone?
Why do I think of this instead of concentrating on how I'm choking on my own blood?
Are memories more important than living?
I don't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I don't remember my parents - what they looked like, how they raised me. I don't remember if I had siblings - older or younger. I don't know if I had a profession. I'm not even certain of my hobbies and whether I was an amateur or an expert at them.
Every bit of my past has been devoured by me, or this place - by both or neither.
Faded. Leaving imprints. Holes. Amnesia?
Once I knew a man whose name was Kakarot, but he wasn't the Kakarot I knew.
I knew, or I know?
This makes no sense.
Maybe this is surrender. It feels like how my blood tastes. It reminds me that there is nothing to call my own, save these companions that are my nightmares. Glimpses of irrationality, fear, shame. Or maybe these are my memories. Maybe not knowing who I am is better than who I was.
Then why do I lack the ability to aspire, to ascend?
Kakarot... you warned me of this, didn't you? And I was too blind to see.
But not now.
I don't know if this place proves the existence of a god. Only a god could make this, but no god would make this. What's the opposite side of a god? What's the balance? What's beyond mortal and immortal? Every living thing can perish.
Please, I yield. Let me succumb to my antagonist. These emotions are too much to bear.
I'm losing faith.
Everything is reverting.
Forgive me.
…
Kakarot, I wonder if you can hear me. I'd like for you to. I wouldn't want you to suffer alone, like me. Even if you're a liar, even though you withheld the truth from me, I believe that you cared. You protected me from death itself. You managed to make a different kind of darkness. Maybe I resented you for it. Seeing you, I saw everything I lost – no – misplaced.
It is as if I've neglected parts of myself to the point where they're so rotted and in such disrepair that they can no longer be distinguished from one another. It's as if I'm merely shambles on the inside, the hollowed shell of a person. The skeleton of a soul.
Oh, the sensation that arises at that particular thought... it is you, Kakarot. That feeling of lost equilibrium. The pitfall. I'll never be rid of you.
I'm glad of it.
You linger inside my head, like a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Or an angel disguised as a demon.
Can angels be cryptic? Do they bend the truth to spare pain? Would you tell me this wasn't all in my head even if it was? Would you lead me to believe this is a dream? That I could awaken anew? That the rain, fatigue, pain, and blood was just a benign mirage?
What a blissful image.
But what if I am dreaming and cannot wake? What could be done that hasn't already been done? What avenues could I attempt to explore then? How could I prevent myself from being further misguided?
Struggling for the possibility of a possibility...
And there's no one to help me but me. There's no one to save me except for myself. No family. No friends. Maybe they're dead. Maybe they're farther away than I could ever possibly imagine.
And if I had a family, then what kind? Were we close? What kind of extended relatives did I have? Maybe I had a wife. Maybe we had kids. Maybe it was a good life where we had a game night and always ate dinner together. But maybe it was bad. Maybe I hated the bitch, and maybe we fought all the time in front of the kids. Maybe I hit them, or she hit them, and maybe they hit us back. Maybe we took advantage of each other, verbally jabbing on a daily basis, too wrapped in our own worlds and priorities and too self-absorbed to take care of one another and work in a harmonious unit. It could've been a loving arrangement, or it could've been a cycle of abuse. Or better. Or worse.
Ah... my blood is thick... never noticed how thick before...
...Kakarot?
Can I give up so easily? I'm so tired. My will is evaporating as quickly as my memories.
I don't think I can walk. My lungs burn, my throat is hoarse; a metallic tang is on my lips and tongue. My nose inhales the scent of decay. My figurative slow-death implanted into my senses by my mind?
How long has it been? How long have I been lying here? It's so hard to tell when the sky is the same bleak grey all the fucking time. Does it... even matter?
I'm... losing ground.
Breaking inside...
Breaking...
...again?
- 9
- 10
- 11
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Adult-FanFiction.Org is not in any way associated with or related to FanFiction.Net

Adult-FanFiction.org (AFF, the site), its owners, agents, and any other entities related to Adult-FanFiction.org or the AFF forum take no responsibility for the works posted to the Adult-FanFiction.org by its members.

While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.

All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.

Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!

Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo

Nowhere: 1	By : FelixMcKadden Category: Missing Data > Missing Data Views: 105 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer:

Nowhere: 1