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Destination Eden (revised)	By : Lisachan Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3365 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Chapter
10

He woke up when he felt a
wet nose pressing against his hand. His eyes dragged open, and nestled against
his leg lay a soft brown heap of fur on four legs with a head and a tail,
begging for food and attention. He smiled to the little animal, but couldn�t
banish the creepy thoughts it evoked in his head. Yesterday had been his sixth
birthday, a birthday he didn�t know about himself. Doctor J had never before
celebrated his birthday or given him presents. Needless to say it�d had the
effect of a slight earthquake to see him there trotting over to him with that
dog in his arms, a red ribbon around its neck. Tears had sprung into his eyes
and he had hugged the little puppy close to him. It was so funny to see him wagging
his tail, see him jumping up against him with his short legs.

�Do you like him?� Doctor J
had asked. His voice didn�t sound merry, but it never did. Heero had got used
to that.

�Yes, I like him very much,
Doctor J,� Heero had smiled. �He�s so cute.�

Then Doctor J had still
given him something else. Something black and cold, something that didn�t have
a red ribbon.

�What do I have to do with
that?�

�Shoot him.�

Heero didn�t understand. Why
would he want to shoot his lovely present? And so he had questioned Doctor J.
Vaguely he could remember him saying something about �having no feelings� and �killing
without regret,� but he had been too confused and angry to pay any further
attention to his words. For the first time in his young life he had someone who
wouldn�t snap at him, who was happy to see him, and he would have to shoot him?
Ever since he'd been born he had been dragged to and fro, from one place to
another. His father, his real father, had done a moonlight flight when his
mother was pregnant with him, and so his mother had given him up for adoption.
In the orphanage they had always ignored him. They fed him and looked after
him, but that�s where it stopped. Foster family after foster family had
rejected him. It seemed as if nobody wanted him. Still he was a beautiful
child. He didn't cry an awful lot, almost never, actually. That was probably
the reason why everyone found him so weird. His mother, who already had been
determined to give him up, had become even more determined when he hadn�t
uttered a sound at birth. The doctor had still given him a tick against his
rear end, but he didn�t cry. Yet he wasn�t dead. He breathed, opened his eyes,
got a healthy color. But he didn�t cry.

At least, that�s what Doctor
J had told him.

He looked up, and behind the
roofs of the houses he could see the first soft colors of dawn. Somewhere in
the distance he could hear Doctor J tooting he had to get up. It was in the
direction, quite logically, from his bedroom. He didn�t move. If he needed him,
he would have to search for him.

A sudden shiver reminded him
how cold it could be at night outside, and he clasped his little dog close
against him to chase the cold away.

His new pet whined and still
wondered what was taking his food so long.

�Hush now, little one. I won�t
shoot you. I promise,� Heero soothed the animal. He knew it was only a matter
of time before Doctor J would find him and again would obligate him to do
things he didn�t want to, but he held the animal close.

�What are you doing here?� a
voice suddenly hissed behind his back.

He bravely crawled upright
with the dog in his arms and collected as much nerve as possible to look Doctor
J straight in the eyes. �You told me I couldn�t go to bed as long as my dog was
still alive. And I didn�t. If need be, I�ll sleep outside every night, but I
won�t shoot him,� he said resolutely. He knew he was blatantly challenging
Doctor J, had just crossed the line to address him in such a manner, and he had
already closed his eyes to take the first blow that was sure to come. The smack
had been harder than he had expected. He hit the boulders he had been sleeping
on, causing him to lose his grip on his little friend, and the animal was
smashed down with a sharp shriek.

�Mishka!� Heero shouted.

�You gave him a name?!�
Doctor J roared indignantly.

�Of course I gave him a
name! What did you expect me to call him? Dog?�

Second blow. Heero felt
blood seeping out of the corner of his mouth.

Doctor J reached for the
untouched gun he had left with Heero yesterday. �Shoot it,� he growled.

�No,� Heero said stubbornly,
crawling to the shivering ball of coat.

A muscle twitching at the
corner of the man�s mouth betrayed that he was slowly getting enraged but tried
to suppress the hurricane that tried to claim him. He took a deep breath and
lay the gun back. Without saying any more, he took Heero�s little hand and
pulled him with him.

�Where are we going? Doctor
J, what are you gonna do? I want to stay with Mishka! Doctor J?� Heero
yammered, in vain trying to pull away.

Mishka licked his lips and
started sniffing around. He still wondered what was taking his food so long. He
barked silently as he heard noise on the street and idly took a leak against a
bush he found. His ears shot up in surprise as he suddenly heard screaming. He
followed it, until the backdoor blocked his way and so he stood on his hind
legs to scratch against the wood. The distant sounds became louder, more
painful. They seemed to last and last. Sensing there was something going on,
but not knowing what, he hid under a wooden crate with a hole in the front of
it, that had to pass for a kennel. Finally he heard the screams fade away, and
the backdoor opened again. A strong hand raised the crate, and with his
innocent eyes he looked straight into the barrel of a gun, held by a little boy
who had a far too worn out skin for his age.

�I�m sorry, Mishka.�

~*~*~*~

Next morning he drove to
work with an opposed feeling in his chest. Only the tiniest token of affection
shown towards him, and it would be screwed. And the reaction of Quatre, Trowa
and Wufei, God. Especially Quatre, the other two were more sober. But if he
knew, the entire building knew. And that couldn�t happen. He should be very
clear about that.

All of a sudden his stomach
gave a twist. He hadn�t told Duo they had to keep this a secret from Doctor J.
Heidi knew about it, but, dear God, Duo had been already asleep when he had
told her. Knowing Duo, he would at once fly around his neck the moment he set
one foot inside. How could he prevent that? He thought hard, but the only thing
he could find in his head was to wrap himself in barbed wire or something like
that. The case was already doomed, even before he had arrived at work. The
whole ride he had been racking his brain, but really nothing would do the
trick. Dammit, he should�ve brought his dog. Nine, attack!

With lead in his shoes, he
stepped out of his car and headed for the building, through the main entrance,
into the elevator. He had barely stepped out of the elevator, when he heard
the loud voice of Duo.

�Hee-chan! So glad to see
you! How�ur dur dog doing?!� he cheered. In a fit of na�ve happiness, he kissed
him full on his mouth, oblivious of the fear readable in both Heero and Heidi�s
eyes.

�Duo!� she hissed.

He pulled his head back with
a dumb face. �What?� he asked sheepishly. �Can�t I kiss him?�

�No,� she said, turning her
head to Heero�s desperate face. �I�m sorry. I forgot to tell him.�

�Tell me what?� he asked
confused.

They heard footsteps behind
them, heavy footsteps which Heero knew
were from Doctor J. His eyes weren�t visible through the thick glasses, but
undoubtedly they exuded rage.

�You! Office!� he barked
sternly at Heero.

Heero obeyed him just like
that. The expression on the old man�s face was more than enough to make the
other two shrink back in their office.

�Tell me what?� Duo asked
again.

�That we must be careful
about this whole situation,� she hissed. �Doctor J can't know about it. Didn�t
you listen to his story yesterday? About the dogs? If he�s already being
punished for caring about a dog, God knows what he might do if he finds out he
loves you!�

Duo looked at her with his
big eyes, but then lowered them with the realization of what he had just done.

�Oh b he he sighed
miserably. �I�ve� I�ve got to go and help him.� He ran to the door, but before
he could open it, Heidi stopped him.

�I wouldn�t do that. I don�t
think it would help him a lot.�

�But I-�

�Leave him, Duo. Doctor J�s
already infuriated enough. It would make him even angrier, and he would take it
out on Heero.�

He sagged his shoulders and
heaved a sigh. �Oh boy,� he said again.

~*~*~*~

It had been a long time
since Heero had felt so uncomfortable in the presence of his master. When he
had barked �You! Office!� at him, he hadn�t meant Heero�s office, but his own,
and he knew that couldn�t be a good thing. With the door locked, not a single
window, and thus no possible way to get out, he was plain terrified. He didn�t
know what Doctor J would do, only that he was enraged, and that meant he was
unpredictable. He could burst out in howls of fury, beat him black and blue,
even punish him the way he used to do 14 years ago, but for now he was calm.
Deadly calm, too calm, so calm it frightened him. Slowly and threateningly he
stalked around him, like a predator sneaking upon his prey. He knew Heero was
scared, knew he was aware of what he had done. He loved someone, and that was a
grave mistake. He cared, and that could not be accepted.

�Are you afraid, Heero?� he
whispered. �Don�t be afraid. You shouldn�t be scared of me. Because you shouldn�t
be feeling at all!� he suddenly shouted.

The calm before the storm
was over. His rage resulted in a tempest with his voice as the thunder and a
rain of reproaches.

�You are a Perfect Soldier!
Perfect soldiers don�t feel! They fight and kill, but nothing more! Is this the
way to thank me, Heero? Is this what I get in return?�

�For what?� Heero retorted. �For
ruining my entire life? Should I thank you for the pain, for the beating, for
all those times my heart tore apart when I shot those dogs?!�

�I did that for your own
good, you know that! If I had've trained you differently, your life would�ve
been ruined far more then it is now!�

�Oh, so you admit that��

�Let me finish, dammit! You
were destined to be a Gundam pilot, you were destined to kill. And if I have
raised you with love and care, you would mentally die every time you kill.�

�But the others then? Why
weren�t they raised like me?�

�I�m not responsible for
them. But they�re all raised in a different way, and Quatre�s the worst one of
all. Duo just does it as a sport, Wufei fights to become stronger, and Trowa,
that guy�s just inscrutable.�

�But you can�t desire of me
that I don�t care at all. How long are you planning to keep me this way? Until
total peace reigns over the world and outer space? That will never happen!
There will always be some kind of mission to prevent any enemies from ruining
all that peace.�

�As long as necessary,�
Doctor J replied simply.

Heero was surprised, not to
say slightly shocked about himself. He had never quite dared to discuss things
with Doctor J like this, not ever ventured to speak up like this, and it
surprised him that he hadn�t got a smack in his face yet. Up till now, he hadn�t
really gotten the chance to prove his point like this. Next trump card: Relena.
�And what about Relena then? For three years I�ve had a relationship with her.
Why did you allow that?�

�Oh, Relena,� he said,
waving his hand in annoyance. �You can barely call that a relationship. Anyone
could see you didn�t love that girl. Well, anyone except for herself. Besides,
I considered it as a step ahead in your training. Next to the dogs, you also
had a lass. Really a shame you dumped that girl.�

�Are you saying that I
should�ve killed her as well?�

�When you would�ve become
too attached to her, you indeed would�ve had to kill her, yes.�

�But that�s insane!� he
yelled. �She�s the former queen of the Sank Kingdom and now she�s Vice Foreign
Minister! And another thing. Duo has been flirting with me all the time. It
killed me, and you knew that, I�m sure of it. But did you say something? No!
Why not, Doctor J?�

�Duo had a relationship with
Hilde, he loved her. I didn�t see any danger in it. Besides, it was good to
harden yourself.�

�You really are sick, you
know that.�

�And now,� Doctor J
continued, ignoring his remark, �you are in love with Duo. Make the conclusion
yourself, Heero.�

He barely let his words the
time to penetrate his ears in seep into his head. �Doctor J, I am not going to
kill Duo. Those who fight me are my enemies. And I will kill them. But Duo�s
not my enemy. Besides, murder is punishable.�

�What are you driveling now?
I have made connections during the war. I can hush it up just like that.�

As corrupt as it was, Heero
knew that sadly it was the truth. There was nothing more he could say to that.

�I�m telling you, Heero. It�s
the best for you when you, and you alone, kill him, no matter how.�

With his stare colder and
harder then ever, Heero looked at him. �No,� he growled.

�You refuse?�

�Yes. When he touched me��

�He touched you?�

Shouldn�t have said that. �Yes,
he touched me,� he said nervously.

Doctor J squeezed his eyes
half shut behind his glasses. He found it utterly suspicious how Heero was
behaving. Touched him? Just a stroke along his arm or a hand on his shoulder?
Then why was he so nervous? �Where did he touch you?�

Heero quickly lowered his
eyes and averted his face in a poor attempt to hide his reddening cheeks. He
had learnt from his own experiences that lying to him was not an option, but if
he told him this, then he could expect bad things to come.

�Did you fuck him?�

�No.�

�Don�t lie to me! For God�s
sake, I can�t believe you lower yourself to the level of such bestial
activities.�

Bestial activities. Boy,
such scientific words. Just say fucking like horny beasts, will you? �I�m not
lying!� Heero yelled. �I didn�t fuck him!�

Doctor J grinned as a matter
of course. �Of course not, he fucked you��

�We made love to each other.
That�s not the same.�

Doctor J gave a swift nod
with his head and took something out of the pocket of his white coat. �Very
well. If you will follow me then,� he said, heading for the door of his office.

Heero recognized the object
Doctor J had taken out of his pocket and he knew what it was for. It was the
key of a machine that could create shockwaves that gave you the feeling your
limbs are being ripped out.

�No,� he said again, his
voice clearly shivering now. �Please don�t�� Six years old he was when it had
been the first time, and thank God, also the last time he had felt it, bt
st
still stood vividly in his mind. He didn�t want to feel that pain again, he was
afraid of it. He feared the pain, that pain. When Doctor J paced towards him,
he shrunk back to the door. Without thinking, he turned around and ran away,
but before he could reach freedom, he felt a sharp pain in his neck and fell
unconscious on the ground.

When he woke up again, his
eyelids were sore when he opened them. He felt weak, tired, apathetic. What
kind of drug had he given him this time? It took a while before he remembered
what had happened just now. He had been scolded because Doctor J had found out
he loved someone. The old man had been more than enraged, had taken a key out
of his pocket, had knocked him down. And now? Where was he now?

He looked around. The
blinding light reflecting on the stark-white walls pained his eyes. His sight
was blurry and in a weird kind of blot there in the distance, he could
recognize Doctor J. He was standing next to a machine.

�Ah, you�re awake. At last,�
he said, his voice echoing in the large, creepy room. �I must congratulate you.
You have managed for 20 years to keep a hold on your emotions and feelings.
That�s a very long time, very good. I�m proud of you.�

Heero lifted his head to see
him better, and it was only then that he realized he was lying on a table, that
same table he remembered from his childhood. His wrists and ankles were tied
with strong, leather belts, and he was clad in nothing more than his boxers. On
several places on his body he had little white patches, and small wires came
out of them.

�Now however,� Doctor J
continued, �instead of strengthening that inhumanity you have built up for all
those years, you let it get destroyed by some pitiful brat you call your lover.
Heero Yuy, are you ready to accept your punishment?�

�No,� Heero said softly,
shaking his head.� Doctor J, no. You cannot do this.�

�I�m as good as your father.
I can do anything I want,� he growled, and with a callous movement, he plunged
the key into the ignition, turned it around and pulled a handle down.

Soon, all Heero�s organs of
sense were eliminated. He didn�t see anymore, didn�t taste, didn�t hear. He
only felt. Starting from his feet an all consuming, sizzling heat rolled
through him and scorched his entire body. His head tossed back, tears ran down
his temples, the belts tore the skin of his tugging wrists apart, but that was
nothing compared to the searing, electrifying heat that crept into him, a pain
that felt like his every fiber was being torn, one by one and excruciatingly
slow. Scream after scream shot through the room with every shock and his
breathing came with fits and starts, but, strange as it was, in the end he got
used to the pain, and his cries decreased.

It was all Doctor J seemed
to be waiting for, for suddenly the shocks stopped. Physically he was broken,
ruined, but that wasn�t enough. Something that had never happened before, not
in his childhood and not under any other kind of punishment, took place now. He
could see visions in front of his eyes. Just flashes in the beginning, lasting
only a split second, but it didn�t take that long before the images stayed
longer and he could see a human form. Someone with short, dark brown hair and
blue eyes. Average size, young and slender. He saw himself, standing in a dark
street with no houses, only trees that all looked alike, in the pouring rain.
In his arms he held a large bundle wrapped in a raw matter. He was walking, his
eyes and the entire expression on his face a mixture of grief ahe ihe inhumanity
that kept on chasing him. Step by step, his place of destination drew nearer,
although it seemed to take forever until he had reached it.

Finally he stopped. He had
arrived at a large, deserted field, the soil muddy from the rain. Suddenly the
bundle in his arms moved, and a muffled sound came out of it. Heero saw his own
mouth moving, but the words came only afterwards, which caused a very
incoherent whole.

�Dammit� Is he still alive
after all?�

Almost disgusted, as if he
was carrying a revived corps and only now realized it, he saw himself throwing
it on the ground, and when a part of the fabric fell away and revealed what it
had been hiding, he felt like he wanted to vomit. He really had been carrying a
living corps. The edges of the blanket were traced with red, and cradled a
scarlet face. A shuddering breath left his mouth as he hit the ground. If he
could�ve, he probably would�ve closed his eyes to protect them from the rain,
but his eyelids were gone. So was the rest of the skin of his face, and for as
far as he could see his entire body. His long hair was soaked with blood,
although he could still see a gleam of chestnut shining through it.

�Hee-chan�� he rasped
hoarsely.

The few remaining feelings
that were still left, flowed out of him and a sickening pain took their place.
It was his buddy, his friend, his lover� his Duo. He wildly shook his head,
wanting the visions to go away, but they stayed. Whether he closed or opened
his eyes, it was all the same, he kept on seeing them. He cried out to Doctor J
to make it stop, but the only result he got was that the images got clearer.

Duo�s lower jaw moved. Maybe
he wanted to ask why Heero had done this, but he couldn�t, for his lips were
ripped away as well. Then he saw himself taking out his gun, and pointing it to
the boy on the ground. Duo let out a relieved sigh, contented that this torment
would finally come to an end, but instead of killing him at once, he first shot
his one arm to smithereens, then his leg, his other leg, the other arm, and
finally, when he had almost bled to death, his scarcely beating heart.

Cruelty, inhumanity, he had
learned it from the master. Doctor J simply made the Heero on the table witness
how the Heero in his head slaughtered his own comrade. Was it a real prospect
of the future, or was it just something his superior wanted him to see, he
couldn�t say. Either way, when he had buried Duo and had planted a self-made,
wooden crucifix with his rosary hanging over it on top of his frugal grave, was
he relieved and immensely glad it was finally ove:p>

To be continued�
- 10
- 11
- 12
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Destination Eden (revised)