Chimera

It didn't turn out as funny as I wanted, but I still like it. As to Ed backing off ont eh jealousy bit, I had in mind more an insecurity issue, so Roy's reassurance would have done it. I'm working on it. Thanks for the reviews and support!!

Shopping

“RROOYY, please!” The boy clung to his lover, arms wrapped around his chest, hands fisted in his shirt, legs tightly wound around his hips.

“No, you got yourself into this and I'm not interfering in family business.” Roy leaned back against the wall to try and keep his balance, “How much do you weigh?”

“I dunno, 170 odd.” He shrugged, almost tipping them over.

“Well, go find out, you're too damn heavy for this.” Bloody brat weighed more than Roy did. He bucked his hips to dislodge him, “Off!”

“Oh, hell no, if I let go, you'll abandon me to him. At least this way he'll hesitate and give me a head start.” The blond clung tighter, trying to meld their bodies together. The doorbell rang, right on time, and Ed squeaked and tried to burrow into Roy's neck.

“Come in, Al. You can help me with this, he won't get off, thinks I'll save him or something.” The door opened and the armor walked through, shutting it carefully before reaching over and grabbing his brother by the back of his shirt and dragging him off. Roy managed to disentangle himself and escaped further down the hall, avoiding the grabbing hands and whines. “Really, he's not going to harm you, and you do need a lesson or two on manners.” Ed glared then cowered when Al started carrying him to the guest room.

“We'll just be a minute.” The door shut firmly and Roy wandered to the kitchen to clean up after breakfast. He had no desire to be in the middle of this particular tiff; he was involved enough.

Half an hour later, they still weren't out and Roy was more than a little concerned. He knocked lightly and stuck his head in the door, “Al? You didn't really kill him, did you?” Al was sitting on the floor with Ed leaning against his side; neither was speaking. “Are you guys ok?”

“Yeah, we're fine. We just needed to have some quiet time, we're done now.” Ed pushed himself to his feet and reached down to tug on Al's shoulder spike. “Come on, you wanted to dress me up, right? Let's get going.”

“Yes, Brother.” Al rose obediently and the two led the way to the door. “Are you coming too, Colonel?”

“I thought I might, if it's alright with you. There's a shop I think would suit Ed nicely and, if you like, I can take you to the store I got the toy at.” The metal boy nodded and they grabbed hteir jackets.

A short drive later, Roy watched them timidly enter his favorite store, obviously a bit fancier than they were used to. “Al, why don't you take Ed to try some shirts, I'll be right back.” He'd spotted a salesgirl and thought to head her off, before she talked down to Ed.

“She'd pretty, isn't she?” AL turned to look at him expectantly.

Roy appraised her, not bad. “She's alright, cute but not really my type. Looks like the kind to talk about her dog for hours. Ow!” Al's foot had 'accidentally' landed on his. “What was that for?”

“If you're going to date my brother, you keep your hands and eyes to yourself.” Al had his hands on his hips and was glaring at him.

“You asked! I just told you what I thought. You and Ed are so distrustful, it's not fair, I don't know what I did to deserve not one but two paranoid boyfriends.” He glared right back and Ed wandered over

“What's wrong? What are you guys fighting over?” His eyes moved from one to the other. “Are we gonna shop or what? Let's go, I want to be done already.”

“Nothing, let's try some shirts and see about some decent pants for you.” Roy steered him towards a rack of dress shirts. “What colors would you like?”

“Black. And what's wrong with my pants? They're good for running, easy to clean, and not too warm.” Ed watched Roy browse a bit, pulling out a few different colors and styles. “No, black, not blue. I don't like green or brown.”

“Your pants are too functional and plain, you need some nice ones, for dressy occasions, and some other colors would be good for you, you'll look nice. At least try them on.” Ed rolled his eyes but grabbed the selected shirts anyways. “Al, come choose a few for him, you know better than I do what will look nice.” The younger brother moved forward, he's been watching with a glare, but chose a few as well. Three pairs of pants followed and Ed was sent off to try them.

“You know, I am capable of being faithful.” Roy casually examined his nails, watching Al from the corner of his eye. “And, I fully intend to be. This is too big a risk to wander in casually.” Al eyed him but said nothing. “You two could try and trust me a little. Let me do something wrong before you get on my case.” He got a tight nod and decided it was the best he could hope for.

Ed opened the dressing room door and peeked out. “These are stupid, I look dumb.” Roy waved him out but he stubbornly stayed behind the door.

“Come on, let me see what needs to be changed.” The blond head shook. “Really, they must be too big then. I should have known, a shrimp like you would need clothes from the children's aisle.” The door flew open and Ed stood with his hands on his hips and just glared. His mouth opened but froze and thought better of making a fuss. Roy looked behind him and saw General Hakuro and his aid entering the store. He turned back to see Ed disappearing into the change room.

“Colonel Mustang, a pleasure to see you.”

“And you as well, sir. What brings you to the area?” Be polite, must be polite.

“Just some shopping for the wife, time for another gift. You single men have it good, no little woman to suck you dry. Was that Fullmetal I saw?” The tall man looked around Roy to stare at Al. “And his brother too.”

“Ah, yes, sir, Fullmetal has a date later,” Technically true. “And wanted a bit of assistance in choosing an outfit suitable for the occasion.”

“Well, you're the man to see. Still have them lining up outside the office?” Roy smirked at him, “Good, good, enjoy it while it lasts, once you're married, it's all downhill. Good luck, Fullmetal. Enjoy your evening, gentlemen.” The two men wandered off and Roy turned to face his doom. Al and Ed were both glaring at him, identical stances and auras of extreme danger emanating. The older man gulped.

“Well, that was awkward.” They continued staring at him. “It's not my fault, I didn't do anything.” More staring. “Um, the clothes fit nicely, a bit of tailoring and they'll be perfect.” Ed's eyes narrowed. “I haven't been encouraging them.”

“You took that number.” The threat was holding steady.

“Well, she gave it to me, what was I supposed to do? Refuse?” Ed's face said 'Hell yes.' “You do not refuse a lady's number if she wishes to give it, unless you are married. It's rude.” He stuck his nose in the air. “Now, if we are quite finished with that nonsense, shall we have the clothes altered? I think those are very nice.”

“What do I need tailoring for, I'll just do it myself.” Ed made a clapping motion.

“You will not! Clothing must be altered correctly or it will not hang properly. You just make everything skintight and don't worry about a proper fit. It won't take long, they're very good here.” He waved an assistant over and informed her that they would like a fitting. Twenty minutes later, Ed was racing out, dying to escape being prodded and poked. The older man just sighed and made arrangements to pick up the clothing in a few days.

He caught up with the boys at a hotdog stand and watched, fascinated, as Ed devoured three. How did he even put those in his mouth? He made a note to have him brush his teeth as soon as they got home. “Well? Where to next?”

“Maybe the usual store? Brother really does need some new tank tops and maybe some underwear.”

“Al! Don't talk about stuff like that.” Ed's face was flushed, though Roy wasn't sure if it was from eating those horrible things or embarrassment.

“Why not? He's seen them and probably thought they were in awful condition too.” Roy looked at the ceiling, not getting into this one either. Ed fussed with a napkin and finally just shrugged it off. He was right, Roy had seen his underwear. “Let's go, I still want to get groceries and visit the toy store.” Ed looked hopefully at him. “No, I'm not cooking for you. I'll make the Colonel supper, he deserves something nice for taking us shopping.” The blond's shoulders slumped and he stomped along behind Roy, who smirked his way to the car.

It was a quick stop, in, grab the usual assortment of black outfits, out. The toy store was another matter. They stopped just inside the door and looked around before separating. Roy chose to go straight, letting them come back to him with interesting finds. He did go left when he heard Ed's screeching; a clerk had asked if he was lost and if they could help him find his mom or dad. Roy grabbed him quickly and apologized to the terrified young man before hauling his lover off. Once he calmed down, he was freed and promptly decided he wanted something from the very top shelf.

The dark haired alchemist refused to let him do alchemy and reached for the puzzle himself. Ed refused to touch it after that and ran off on his own. Roy rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Al, who had a variety of toys and games to explore. Roy asked him to choose a few Ed might like when he changed, something they could play with him or let him play by himself. Two puzzles, a few brightly colored card games, another squeeze toy, for Al, some building blocks, and a timed shape matching game were chosen. Ed brought back a puzzle of his own and it was added to the pile.

They dragged it all out to the car and realized it was already late afternoon. A quick stop at the grocery store filled the rest of the car. Al made supper, roast chicken with potatoes and gravy, steamed broccoli, and buns. Ed moped around until Roy laughingly invited him to sit in his lap and eat, then stomped off in a fit about being treated like a kid. Midway through the meal, he was back, begging cutely for food. Al laughed and let him eat, filling his plate twice before he started slowing down. A quiet evening of trying to figure out the puzzle followed; even Roy was having a hard time with it.

The two boys headed home after, Ed stopping for a quick kiss. Roy was sorry to see him go, he'd snuck a bottle of cooking oil into the groceries, overriding Al's objections of not needing any. 'Next time.' Hopefully Al wouldn't be mad for long and Ed would be back in a few days.