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Drug Trip	By : Zethsaire Category: Gundam Wing/AC > Yaoi - Male/Male > Heero/Duo Views: 790 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters. I don't make money off this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Author's Notes: Currently the couples in this fic are 5x6, SxOC and 2xOC. (Yes, yes...boooooo and all that.) There will be more in the future but I really don't feel like ruining everything by writing out a huge list of couples. You'll just have to wait! But I can guarantee that if you don't like 1x2, this fic ain't for you!

I would also like to add that I don't condone illegal drug abuse. It fucks up a lot of things for a lot of people...that's kind of the point of this story. Obviously if you DO choose to do drugs, that's your decision and I'm not condemning you by any means, but I'm also not actively promoting drug use with this fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the any of the characters, universe, etc. etc. I don't plan on making money of this fic in any way. It is for pure enjoyment and writing practice only! That being said, the writing is still mine, and as a creative concept, it still belongs to me, so please ask before re-posting. Thanks!

Edit: Fixed a paragraph of conversation between Quat and Duo that didn't make sense since the rewrite. Thanks priscel!

Chapter Ten

Monday, March 31st, AC 204, 9 pm

It was pouring outside. Heero ducked under the overhang in front of their door and dug his phone out of his pocket. It took three tries before Cornelius picked up. He actually sounded a little high himself, which usually meant there was one hell of a party going on. "Wha-what do you want?"

"Hey, it's Yamato. Look. Do you have any horse?"

"I thought you quit that shit Yamato."

"Whatever. I'll call Marcus." Heero knew that Marcus would charge him more then he would normally want to pay, but tonight, he didn't really care.

"Ugh. Marcus is such a fuck head." There was a long sigh on the other end of the line. "Yes, I have your horse. I keep it here just for you, you know. I'll go get it ready for you."

"Good, I'll be there in five minutes." Heero had already hailed a cab and gotten into it by the time he'd gotten off the phone with Cornelius. His shaking was getting worse – he could barely light the cigarette he was holding. Some of it was probably from the heroin withdrawal, but his methadone should have taken care of most of that. It was his nerves – the kind of memories that always bubbled to the surface when he didn't take heroin absolutely terrified him. It wasn't just remembering having sex with Duo – all sorts of nasty things came out when his memories started coming back. He felt like a little kid, scared of the dark. He'd fought and killed thousands of people, so why did a single memory unbalance him this much? Except his memories gave him a very good reason to be afraid of the dark...

Heero practically jumped out of the car and into the pouring rain. He pulled his hood up and threw his cigarette away. He ran up to Cornelius' building and took shelter under the overhang. He tried to dial Cornelius' number twice before his shaking fingers got the right keys.

"Let me in." He said harshly into the phone.

"Already here." Cornelius replied, and the grate opened behind him.

Heero slipped inside and headed straight for Cornelius' rooms. There were a few customers already there, sitting around on Cornelius' couch and smoking pot. Heero itched his track marks irritably. He didn't want pot, he wanted something stronger.

Cornelius grabbed his arm, yanked Heero into his office and shut the door behind them, locking it. Three lines of white powder were already laid out on Cornelius' desk. "You know I only keep this stuff for you Yamato. As far as everyone else is concerned, I only sell pot and party drugs. Nothing this hard."

"I like injecting better." Heero muttered.

"Don't be like that." Cornelius snapped. "I don't keep needles around here, you know that. Besides, you've got enough track marks, don't you think?"

Heero glared at him and snorted a line. He sniffed and rubbed his nose. "...the hell do you care what I look like?"

"Because I don't want you looking like a junkie for jobs, that's why. Just...shut up and take your horse. You're such a bitch when you're craving." Cornelius leaned up against the wall and folded his arms, glaring while he watched Heero do his other two lines.

It took more heroin to get him high when he snorted. If it was pure, three lines should do it. Cornelius wanted him to do his heroin here because he hated Marcus, his normal heroin dealer, so Cornelius was usually good about not cutting it with anything. Heero didn't want to, but his brain was already calculating the cost of the heroin and multiplying it by the number of people in the living room.

Cornelius must have seen the look on his face, because he said, "You don't have to sleep with them, if you don't want to. But, if you go out there high they're going to ask you."

"Yeah well...I gotta pay you somehow." Heero said. He put his elbows on Cornelius' desk and then put his head in his hands, waiting for his high to kick in. Snorting always made it take longer, and until his thoughts stopped swirling around, he didn't want to do anything.

"You know...you don't have to sleep with me." Cornelius said. He stepped closer and put his arms around Heero's waist.

"You say that." Heero said bitterly, but he didn't push Cornelius away.

"You don't." Cornelius said again.

"It's...whatever. It's fine." He was starting to feel the rush now. Heero tried to relax and let it take him over. He didn't want to think about his past, about Duo, about the war, any of it. He wasn't that person any more. This is who he was now.

Heero turned around and wrapped his arms around Cornelius' neck. "I still don't really want to go out there..." He reached up and pulled Cornelius' lips towards his own.

"Mmm..." Cornelius kissed him back, with vigor. "You know, my chair is very comfortable."

"Oh yeah?" Heero worked his way down Cornelius' neck. "We should test that out."

Duo, Monday, March 31st, AC 204, 9 pm

The sound of the door slamming shut echoed across Duo's soul, and he stared at the empty place beside him with an aching heart, holding back tears. He had been left behind, again.

Why the fuck couldn't he have controlled his mouth? He knew better! He'd spent all his time practicing watching what he said with WuFei, but Heero just made him so mad! How could he bring up something like that so suddenly...it wasn't like it wasn't a painful event for Duo as well. Even more so, because he'd remembered it this entire time.

Duo collapsed in the chair Heero had vacated, and stared at the picture in his hand. Heero had done an exceptional job rendering it out – looking at it brought tears to Duo's eyes. He remembered the night with excruciating clarity as the best, and worst night of his life.

He tried not to cry...really he did. But it was a bit difficult, with all of Heero's drawings of him staring him in the face. The way he had drawn Duo over and over made his heart ache. Just looking at them made him want to weep; it was like Heero had taken his soul and splashed it all over the paper. Heero had never been good at sharing his feelings, but he didn't need to be, his feelings came through just fine through those images.

Without really meaning to, he reached for his phone. He found himself dialing Demetri's number. He stared at the picture of himself and Heero, basking in their after-glow, and knew what he had to do.

"Hey, Demetri." Duo said, when Demetri finally picked up. "I'm sorry. I don't want to be one of those guys but...I've got to break up with you."

There was a long pause on the other end. "What did I do? I thought...I thought things were getting better."

"It's not you, trust me." Duo said, knowing he sounded incredibly lame. "I just...some stuff came up, from my past. I've been trying to ignore it this whole time, but sometimes you get to a point when you can't run from it anymore, you know?"

Demetri sounded sad. "I guess so."

"I just...I don't want to lead you on. I don't want to keep stringing you along, and I already have been for so long. I mean, we break up and then I ask you to take me back, and you always do. And that's so amazing. You're wonderful. But I can't keep taking advantage of you like this."

"So you're saying this isn't like all those other times you've dumped me?" Demetri asked. "What happened? Did Mr. Perfect come and sweep you off your feet or something?"

"No." Duo said, staring at the empty apartment. "Nothing like that. I just...got reminded that I'm in love with someone else. I've always loved him. But he hasn't loved me back. At least I didn't think so, until now. I don't know, everything's so fucked up."

"It's him isn't it. That guy who's staying with you." Demetri said. There wasn't any anger or accusation in his voice, only resignation.

"Yeah." Duo admitted. What else could he say? "He's - I mean - we're not dating, or anything. Hell, we never really have. Both too fucked up I guess. He's never had a nice, normal guy like you to put up with his shit. I just...finally realized I can't keep pretending I don't care about him."

"I understand." Demetri even sounded like he might. "I love you Duo. But I don't want to force you to do anything, much less try to force you to stay with me. I just hope he realizes how lucky he is to have you. And Duo...if he hurts you, call me. I'm not going to get in your way, but I'm not going to stand by and let him hurt you, either."

"That's...very mature of you." Duo said. Personally, he doubted he'd be able to let go if the situation were reversed. This was hard enough as it was, and he wasn't even the one getting dumped. Tears ran down his face, and he wiped them away furiously. He couldn't bear to have Demetri see him cry.

"I don't want to be mature about it. I want to get in my car and come over there, and bring you flowers and chocolate and whatever the hell else it takes to show you how I feel about you. But this isn't the same as our other break-ups. I can tell. You've made up your mind and damn if I can ever change it once that's happened. I know you too well for that. Just remember that I love you, okay?"

"I...I will." Duo said. "Demetri, if we're not together, are you still going to want to work-"

"Don't worry about it." Demetri said, before he could voice his worries out loud. "We'll make it work out."

"Thanks. You're too good for me."

"No I'm not. You deserve to be happy Duo, and if this guy makes you happy...then I'll leave you two alone. I love you Duo."

"...love you too." Duo whispered, and hung up.

That was really the worst thing about this whole situation. He did love Demetri. The guy was wonderful, and sweet. He didn't ask questions about Duo's past, since he knew Duo didn't want to talk about it. He was romantic and sexy and above all, normal. And he made Duo feel normal too.

Duo loved him. But it wasn't the same kind of love he had for Heero. He'd given Heero his heart back when they'd both thought they were going to die at any time. It wasn't just a crush; it had been a deep, soul wrenching love, love that he had thought was going to rip him apart. He and Heero had a desperate love; one that could be torn away at any moment and almost had been more times then Duo cared to think about. He'd tried to run from it, tried to bury his feelings when they hurt him so badly he thought he was going to die, but he hadn't escaped from them. It was time to stop running. He had to face how he felt; face how Heero felt about everything that had happened between them.

He curled up into a ball of misery right there in the chair, wrapping his arms around himself to keep himself from flying apart. He stopped fighting the tears; there was no one to see him, and it was a lost cause anyways. If he could just get through this night, if Heero would just come back so they could talk, then there might be a chance for them to salvage something of their relationship. If only he would just come back...He drifted off into an uneasy sleep, with only a lonely apartment and his tears for company.

Monday, March 31st, AC 204, 11 pm

Duo was woken from his misery by the frantic sound of his phone ringing. He had absolutely no idea who would be calling at this time of night, since Heero had left his own phone on the bedside table, and had half a mind not to answer it. But whoever it was kept calling back in an endless loop of what was becoming a very annoying ring tone.

Finally Duo dragged himself over to his bedside table, picked up his phone without even bothering to check who was calling him, and then answered in a dead monotone. "Hello?"

A breathless tenor voice declared into the phone, "Duo, Heero's alive!"

"What? Quatre?" Duo's brain had completely shut down when Heero walked out, again. It took him a moment to put all his scrambled thoughts back into order.

"It has to be him Duo. I just had the most horrible flash, but I knew it wasn't mine. You know how other people's feelings are – they sort of stick, and they're...a different color then mine. Anyway, Heero is the only person who projects like that, no one else can ever get through my shields like he can. I don't know what the hell he was thinking about, but he's alive!"

"I know." Duo said quietly, his voice quavering.

Quatre grew quiet. "What do you mean?"

"He's here. I mean, he was here. But he's gone now. I don't know if he's coming back."

"Duo, what is going on? Heero came back and you didn't call me?"

"I don't know. I was going to call you, but Heero didn't want anyone to know. The press and all that, you know? It's complicated. Anyways, we...well, well, back during the war we did it. But he was so drunk he didn't remember till now. And he kinda flipped out, and now he's gone and I don't know where he is!"

Duo was practically shouting into the phone now. He felt like screaming and breaking things, slashing his wrists or murdering someone. He didn't know what, but he wanted the nasty feeling in his chest to go away, and if he had to hurt himself or someone else to do it, he didn't care.

"Duo, calm down! I'm throwing somethings together; I'll be on my way out there as soon as I can wake up my pilot. I'll be there in a few hours, okay? Please...don't do anything stupid before then." Quatre made his voice as soothing as possible, and even though he couldn't actually project feelings from so far away, Duo did start to feel a little better. More like he could control the raging demons inside him anyway.

"I don't want to bother you Quatre." He said dully.

"Come on Duo, you know me better then that. I just finished my last concert here anyway, so it's not like my manager is going to be pissed or anything. Besides, you've been there for me every time I've needed it, it's the least I can do."

"Okay."

"It's just a couple hours Duo. Go take a shower and eat something. I'll be there soon, I promise."

"Yeah. I will. See you soon."

He didn't, of course. Instead he just curled up into a ball of misery on his bed, holding his phone like it was his only hope of salvation. He knew Heero wouldn't call; his cellphone was right on the bedside table where he'd left it, but for some reason, Duo couldn't let go of the phone.

It was impossible to tell how long he laid there. It could have been minutes, hours, or even years. It felt like he sat there in the dark for a lifetime, his misery greater than anything he had ever experienced, equaling the turmoil he'd felt upon seeing flames rising over a lone cathedral roof. His soul was dark and empty, there was no hope.

A soft knock drove itself through the bleak wave of despair that surrounded him. "Duo, let me in." Quatre's musical voice carried through the empty apartment.

The sound of that voice soothed him, his presence pushing back Duo's despair, making life seem less bleak. He was able to get up of the bed and hobble stiffly over to the door to let Quatre in. A very concerned blonde man stood there, holding a travel bag in his hand and a violin case in the other. He took one look at Duo's face and stepped inside, dropping both bags and closing the door before pulling Duo into his arms.

"Oh Duo..."

Quatre had been there for Duo's first meltdown, when Heero had pulled the rug out from underneath them all and disappeared without a trace. He had pretty much seen Duo at his worst, and Duo felt safe with him. It wasn't the same sort of bond he had with Heero, but they were close.

So instead of holding back his tears and "manning up," like he would have around anyone else, he leaned into Quatre's arms and let it out. He had a full blown freakout session right there; crying and screaming and sobbing, until Quatre's shirt was soggy with his tears. He still felt horrible afterwords, but all that nasty energy that signaled a bi-polar fit was gone, and he could think clearly without all the pain and rage in the way.

"Sorry about your shirt." Duo said, when he'd calmed down.

"It's fine. I'll just have it dry cleaned."

"Can I uh...get you a drink?"

"Tea, if you have any." Quatre said politely, picking up his things and moving into Duo's living room. He changed his shirt while Duo poured himself a beer and started hot water for Quatre's tea.

Quatre looked at the beer disapprovingly. "You should have tea too Duo. Having alcohol will only make your down swing worse."

"I'll be okay. At least, as okay as I can be until he gets back."

Quatre came over to the low counter and sat down on one of the three stools there. "You sort of owe me an explanation. What happened?"

Duo sighed and came to sit next to him. "About two weeks ago, Heero showed up on my doorstep, wasted out of his mind. He thought it was the night he'd left – he apologized and I let him in. Shit happened. He's working for Preventers again, fixing security. Things were going good. And then well...well...Sally sent him some drawings he'd done, at homeless shelters I guess, and had left with her, or something. I don't know. Anyways, he drew one of us, from the war. We...we had sex back then."

Quatre looked like he wanted to say something about that, he looked shocked beyond words. But he let Duo continue.

"Heero was so wasted he didn't remember the next day. I didn't even know you could GET that wasted, I mean, not enough to remember the first time you had sex with the guy you'd been practically drooling over for a year. Fuck!" Duo wiped the tears from his eyes and continued. "Anyways, he found the picture, and remembered, and then we got in a huge fight cuz I'd told him nothing had happened back then and he was super mad at me and I said some stupid shit and he left and I don't know where he is!"

Duo knew he was babbling, but he didn't know what to do about it. He couldn't stand sitting there staring at Quatre, and the hot water was almost done, so he stood up and got out the mug he kept especially for Quatre's tea. He had a traditional Chinese cup for Wufei sitting up on the shelf next to it, but it hadn't been used in a while.

"I...see." Quatre said, while Duo poured his tea. He had no idea what Duo was talking about, so he started at the beginning. "Heero was high?"

"He was living on the street Quatre. He did a lot of things. You two can play twenty questions when he gets back." Duo paused, thought about what he'd said for a moment, and stared into his beer with red-rimmed eyes. "If he comes back."

Quatre put a comforting hand on Duo's shoulder, and Duo took a large swallow of his beer. It was going to be a very long night.

End Chapter Ten

Notes: Alright, another chapter out! I hope you guys like it. We're approaching the part of the story I haven't written yet, so in a few weeks it might start taking two weeks to get chapter's out. I'm in a master's degree, and my classes are kicking my butt. But rest assured, I'm still working on it!

I'm sorry to anyone who is disappointed in Heero for reacting the way he did. I'm mad at him too. But you gotta know, drugs screw you up. It would be stupid if he ran home, fell in Duo's arms and never wanted drugs ever again. Not to mention he's horny and he's stupid mad at Duo, so who else is he gonna screw? Yes, I know. Stupid, stupid Heero. Hopefully he'll learn better.

Also good to note: because of 's recent crackdown on sex scenes, even if they're not NC-17, any sexual scenes will be posted somewhere else with a link. Sorry to anyone who will be inconvenienced by this. I don't really have any other choice.
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Drug Trip