Lonely Desire | By : Petya Category: Gundam (all others) > General Views: 12076 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Pairings:
Athrun x Kira, less Yzak x Dearka
Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam SEED or Destiny, any of its
characters or the world and its technologies.
Warnings: NC-17, but I think this chapter is pretty
safe.
Comments: This chapter is dedicated to Athrun’s birthday. Happy birthday, sweetheart! In the
beginning I wanted to write a spin-off or a post-story lemon, but I didn’t have
the time, so I decided to simply write another chapter.
OK, I found out that I really hate to write
transitional chapters. And this one is exactly that. I know what I want to do,
but I seem to be unable to write it down so this chapter has a lot of jumps and
is rather illogical, but I hope it is not too bad. If there is something you
don’t get, please ask.
Chapter
TWELVE
Moments
Erica Simmons explained most things to them and
finished with “He is out of hibernation, but now he is hypothermic and is
shivering, so we had to tie him up. It’s for his own safety in order to prevent
him from getting the needles out of his veins.” Athrun felt guilt as he
remembered the blood streaming down Kira’s hands
because of his actions. “I think this is a good sign, since it indicates that
his conscious has awaken and we may expect him to come to in a few hours, but
he might be a little disorientated and blurry. That is normal, don’t worry.”
None of the people in the small group of six
paid any attention to the delivery boy with flowers in his hands covering a
good portion of his face as he slowly passed by them and listened to their
conversation.
Kira woke up but when he tried to open his eyes
they were not willing to comply. He slowly started to lift his lids and the
light almost blinded him. He closed his eyes again and tried to shift his pose
as he felt a little stiff and uncomfortable, but to his surprise he found out
he was tied to the bed he was in. His body seemed alien and weird and it was as
if he had quite a few of his receptors missing. It felt so wrong.
He had a hard time concentrating and it was as
if his thoughts floated in his mind as if in a big lake but each time he tried
to catch one a vortex formed and his head would spin making him dizzy and sick.
He tried to open his eyes once again but this time very slowly both to let them
accommodate to the light and to be able to look at the place he was in without
being noticed if there was someone watching him. The first thing that he
realized was that he was in a hospital, but he had no idea what was the reason
for that. He moved his head left and right and noticed Athrun sleeping on his
left with head rested on the bed, but not touching him. Unconsciously he wanted
to touch him and reached with his hand forgetting he was tied. The pull of the
belts reminded him of it so for a brief time he just watched the boy he loved.
Athrun looked awful. His hair was disheveled,
he had grown a few days beard and his face bore pale and unhealthy colour that
even the rest couldn’t hide. His eyes were surrounded by deep grayish-purple
circles that showed he had not slept well lately. Kira opened his mouth to call
his friend’s name but the sound that escaped his lips made him flinch. It hurt
to speak and what he heard was not his voice, but some incoherent growl.
Athrun jumped as soon as he heard the sound and
his eyes worried and filled with hope flew to Kira’s
face. The shinning emerald met the transparent amethyst and a smile of relieve
enlightened the face of the blue-haired Coordinator.
“Kira!” his voice was soft and a whole universe
of meaning and caring filled that single word. “Kira…” Athrun seemed unable to
say anything more, so he just repeated the name of the person that signified so
much to him. His hands touched the beloved face and continued to smile happily.
“A..ath…run…” the brunet had to force his mouth and tongue to form
the word and yet it sounded muffled. Hs mouth was dry and tasted of sand and
wet wool. He opened it to try to say something more, but gave up the effort, it
was too painful. He coughed to clear his throat but it only started to feel
sore.
“Don’t speak. It must hurt after all these
days. Do you want some water?”
‘Days?’ Kira’s mind tried to process the information but his
thought were still to hazy, so he left it for later. He nodded to the question
and gratefully sucked through the straw the soothing liquid Athrun offered him.
But he could only drink a few gulps.
“I’ll call Erica-san and the others, Kira, they
will be so happy you are back.” His hand flew to a button behind the brunet’s
head, but the brunet’s eyes still hurt so he didn’t follow the action.
Soon he heard a door opening and turned his
head so that he looked in that direction and saw Erica Simmons asking “Is
something wrong, Athrun-kun?” she walked closer and gasped as she saw Kira
awake.
“He woke up! It should have happened long ago.
Kira-kun do you feel well? Just nod or shake your head, don’t try to speak
yet.”
Kira didn’t need to be told not to speak, he
had found out for himself that he’d be better if he remained silent until his
throat relaxed a little so he nodded slightly stating he was fine, even though
he actually felt uneasy and the nod itself made his head split in two with
pain. He pulled his hands and shook the belts that kept him tied to indicate
that he wanted to be set free.
The doctor removed the restraints as she
explained why they were needed in the first place. Kira listened but his mind
was drifting, he was weary and soon he fell asleep again.
When he awoke once again he found himself
surrounded by his closest friends all staring intently at him. He smiled welcomingly
and attempted to speak but his success was not better than the last time he had
tried so he gave up and just smiled at everyone, hoping that they would
understand what he meant.
Cagalli shouted at him “How could you do this
to me? Do you know how worried I have been these last six days? Don’t you ever
do this to me again!” She bent to embrace him as tears
of relief streamed down her face and she almost suffocated him. “It’s so good
to have you back, little brother” she whispered in his ear and planted a kiss
on his forehead before she moved aside to let the others come closer and greet
Kira with his come bask to the world of the awaken.
“Good to have you around again.” Dearka greeted
him and patted him lightly on the shoulder.
“You know, if I knew you are so easy to strike
down with a chili, I would have used it during the war. Then I would have been
spared the humiliation of being defeated by a crybaby and weakling like you.”
Yzak teased him as always, but his face showed that he too had been concerned
for his condition.
“Kira-sama” Lacus
said “I am so glad to see you well again.”
Kira looked around himself, smiled at everyone
and silently thanked the skies that he had been granted such good friends.
On the morning of the seventh day that Kira spent
in the hospital he was finally allowed to stand but to his surprise his feet
didn’t support him as he was used them to. It was new to him, he was a
Coordinator after all, and Coordinators were stronger, faster and healthier,
yet he was weak and he didn’t really like it. The one good thing about that was
that Athrun offered his shoulder for support and Kira was able to touch and
embrace him. He was not sure whether or not he should be happy that due to the
exhaustion of his body he didn’t get physically excited in his beloved’s
presence.
But each time he felt the strong body pressed
to his side the dreams came back to him.
He had never had such vivid dreams as those
during the time he spent in hibernation. He wondered if they were due to the
fever his friends had said he suffered or due to the hibernation, he still
distantly remembered that he could hear some things of what he had been talked
during his “sleep”, but that dream,
was something different altogether.
Athrun’s hands on his naked body… his lips and tongue
trailing maddening patterns of raw desire across his sensitized skin… His body
pressed again Kira’s…
Kira
himself touching his lover, licking him and taking him in his mouth…
And what had never before been part of his
dreams…
Athrun
deep inside him making him burn from within with both pain and pleasure,
sometimes those two mixed so intensely that it was hard to determine which was
which…
His
thrusts…
And the explosion of ultimate satisfaction…
The brunet felt heat across his face and
realized he had blushed.
“Kira are you all right? You look as if you are
feverish again. Do you want to lie down?” Athrun’s
voice snapped him back from his daydream and the brunet blushed even harder. It
was good that he had a perfect excuse for his pink cheeks.
“Huh, I am all right.” His voice was still
rough and his throat still hurt a little but he could talk and that was some
progress already. “It is just I am a little tired I suppose.” He hated lying
but he had lied Athrun so many times in the last
months that one more lie didn’t make any difference now.
The green-eyed boy carefully lifted him and
carried him to the bed and Kira felt the muscles of his chest and abdomen move
against his body. It was nice and reminded him of his dream once again. He
wondered how would Athrun react if he knew what was going through his head
right now. Would he be repulsed or would he be willing to help him turn those
dreams in reality?
“Stay here, I’ll go and ask Erica-san to check
up on you. I’ll be back in a minute.” With that his beloved went to look for
help and Kira was left alone with his thoughts.
“Kira,
I want you to know that I feel like you can touch my soul and I wish you’d let
me touch yours.”
Those words flashed through Kira’s
head for millionth time and he was still not sure of their meaning. He was
sorry now that he had reacted so inadequately that evening, but now it was late
to change the events. Was that just a little jest, was it said as a friend to a
friend or was it something more.
Ever since he woke up he had Athrun around but
not for a second had the younger Coordinator showed any sign of a feeling that
went deeper than friendship. He had found out that the other boy had not left
his sickbed during the 6 days of his sleep, but that is something a best friend
would do as well. It didn’t certainly mean love as in the type of love Kira
felt for Athrun.
The door opened and Erica Simmons entered the
room. Kira let go of his fantasies and concentrated on proving he was Healed, so that he
would be let out of the hospital.
And indeed after the examination the doctor
stated that there is nothing more to worry about and that he would be
discharged from the hospital the following morning.
“Erica-san, can’t I leave in the afternoon,
please. I promise I’ll stay in bed at home, but, don’t get offended, I really
want to leave this place as soon as possible.” Kira made a pleading grin and
placed his hand as if for a prayer.
Erica Simmons smiled at him and nodded in agreement
but said. “OK, I’ll discharge you sooner, but I want you to promise me that
you’ll remain in bed for at least two more days and” she turned to Athrun “it
would be better if someone stood by him until he is fully capable to take care
for himself.”
“Ok” the blue-haired boy nodded “I promise to
watch over him.”
“Fine then I’ll inform Cagalli-san that we’ll
discharge her brother in 5 hours, but you Kira-kun are to lie till then. If I
see you walking I’ll keep you here one more day. Understood?”
Kira nodded his agreement and obediently lied
in the bed, where to his surprise he quickly fell asleep once again.
The man stared at the results in front of him
and cursed under his breath. Nothing, still nothing.
He was a patient one, but after so many years of waiting to see whether or not
his experiment had been successful and being only a step from the possible
success, his patience suddenly disappeared.
Oh, it was here, the thing he was interested
in, but unfortunately, the quantities were not sufficient enough to be used as
conclusive evidence. He would have to wait more. He stared at the computer
screen with intensity as if his will could change the
objective results.
He cursed again. He would be unable to obtain
his blood in the near future, unless he was willing to take unnecessary risk,
and he was not that stupid. It might take them months
to find out what was wrong with the boy.
And he had no choice but to wait patiently and
hope…
Kira was glad to return to his home and it was
good to have everyone around. Btu as soon as he entered he heard Cagalli’s comment, that was probably not meant to be heard
by him, but yet it was.
“She never came to see how he was fairing.” Her
spiteful tone made Yzak jiggle and Lacus wrinkled her nose in disapprove of
suck impolite statement.
“It’s not fair of you Cagalli, you don’t know
the girl” interrupted her Lacus.
“Yet Cagalli is right” Athrun intervened “she
didn’t come to see her boyfriend during his stay at the hospital.”
For some reason Kira couldn’t keep himself from
stepping in the conversation even if he was not included in the dialogue. “Now,
and did any of you think of contacting her? She thought I was on a trip, how
was she to know that something had gone wrong if it was not publicly announced
and none of you told her.” Kira had no idea why was he saying all this, he even wanted to stop himself from talking but the
words kept spilling. “So, did anyone tell her?”
Lacus and Athrun actually looked guilty but the
other three remained unaffected by his words. His sister stared at him and a
bit too politely asked “Now, Kira, how are we to contact someone we know
nothing about, besides what you have decided to share with us of course, a
person we have never met, we don’t know where she lives or what her phone
number is?” She stared at Kira and he felt himself blushing under her glare.
“Tell me, little brother, how were we to find that example of perfection you
talked about and never presented to us?”
“Huh…, hummm…, well
did you think of looking into my contacts in the computer or into the memorized
numbers on my phone?” Kira hoped they didn’t since there was nothing such in
any of those places.
“Well…,” it was Cagalli’s
time to look uneasy “uh, no, I suppose we didn’t, but you can call her now.”
Kira desperately thought of a way out, why had
he started this in the first place?
“No. I am going to be fine in a few days, so
there is no point in having her worry over something that is about to be over
soon. I’ll call her once my voice recovers.” He hoped that was a good excuse,
but there was some spark in Yzak’s eyes that Kira
didn’t quite like or understand. If could be something completely unrelated to
the current situation, but it still intimidated him. “I am going to bed, or you
might report me to Erica-san and get me into that hospital again.” The thought
of spending more time doing nothing but lying on his back made him flinch
inwardly, but that would be most likely to get him off the hook, or he might
slip and reveal his secrets. “Would you be willing to keep me company? We might
play some game… like strip poker.”
“No strip poker!” Yzak shouted.
“Now why Yzak, you look good with nothing but
your boxers on” Cagalli teased and Lacus jiggled. The boys also laughed. Yzak
went fiercely pink with embarrassment remembering how the last time everyone
had teamed up against him and he had ended naked in no time. Cagalli decided to
rub in some more “What’s more, now I know you are not that bad without them
either.” It was the first time the Natural didn’t blush remembering what she witnessed
in the morning before the trip. She praised herself for finally behaving
normally.
That was the straw that had the blue-eyed boy
exclaim “That’s it, I agree and I am having you stay only clad in you lacy
underwear, that is if a tomboy like you actually wears such an outfit.”
“Well then, we’ll play strip poker. But, Yzak,
don’t get overly enthusiastic or optimistic, so far the only person who’s
proved to be better than me in poker is Athrun. I say it is a good thing it’s
not him who wants to see me in my panties, lacy or not.”
“Well, Cagalli, when it is for a noble cause I
am always willing to help.” The best poker-player said.
Dearka laughed loud at the smitten face of the
ORB princess as they all headed to Kira’s bedroom,
where the brunet lied down on the bed and the others sat on and around it and
started to play.
As always it turned into a game of tricking and
cheating than actually playing and everyone shouted at everyone, bluffs
succeeded and failed and soon Cagalli was indeed left in only her T-shirt – she
was grateful she had dressed casually and this shirt was rather long so it
covered enough, but the next loss would leave her exposed, just as Yzak wanted
her – and Yzak was in his trousers, also one step from losing. The others were
pretty safe since they had teamed in order to get Yzak and Cagalli lose.
Unfortunately they didn’t get to play the last
game since Mana called.
“Cagalli-sama, I have
to inform you that you have a meeting early in the morning, and besides you have
to get you luggage ready. You’ll have to leave for PLANT in the morning two and
a half days from now.”
Once Mana
disconnected Kira commented. “I had forgotten about the ball, but I doubt that
Erica-san would let me go.”
“I’ll stay with you, I promised to her.” Athrun
added instantly, but the brunet shook his head in refusal.
“You know that all of you have to go. And especially you, Athrun. Considering what your father
did, and how you – a high-ranked ZAFT military officer – changed sides during
the war, your absence at the ball that celebrates the end of the peace talks
would be most inappropriate.” The green-eyed Coordinator opened his mouth to
protest but shut it as itr sa Kira continued. “And you are Cagalli’s
bodyguard too, I trust you to keep her out of trouble. Cags
has to go because she is the Head Representative of ORB,
Lacus is the pink-haired princess of PLANT, who promoted peace even during the
most dire moments of the war. Her face is a symbol over there. Yzak and Dearka
had parents in the Council and are famous heroes from the battle at Yakin Due.
If you think about it, I am the only person who is not needed there, I was
invited simply because Chairman Canaver knows I am the
pilot of Strike and Freedom and that I am the newly-found brother of the Princess
of ORB. But there are only few people who know that and they are not going to
spread it around, so my absence won’t be of such importance.”
As much as all of the others wanted to say
something to counter his arguments, they were all aware that Kira was right.
They had to go and that was it.
“Kira is right” Dearka said.
“And it’s not the ball that is important, that
is only the obvious part, the one that is used to attract the attention. The
conference that is to be held a week later is what is more important and all of
you have to take part in it. The peace is still far too fragile and we paid a
great price for it.” Everyone remained silent as they remembered the people
they lost in the war and the countless people they had killed. “We have to make
sure it lasts. Whatever we can do to keep it, we should. Don’t worry about me,
I’ll be fine. You’ll be there no more than two weeks and when you come back
I’ll be already well and we might even go back to the island and have the
vacation my sickness ruined.”
They all agreed. That was important and Kira
did have a point. The peace was still fragile and they couldn’t take chances.
On PLANT Athrun felt restless. After spending
ten days with Kira, during the last week he had been missing the presence of
his beloved, but what he missed most was the feeling of Kira next to him. He
had tasted what it was like to love him and now his body would crave that
pleasure all the time. He was addicted…
After Kira had awoken from his “sleep” he had
become his old self from before Ai but he showed no signs that he remembered
what had they shared that fateful night and Athrun just couldn’t find an
appropriate moment to talk about that. Plus he admitted in front of himself
that he was afraid. What if the brunet had not been aware of his actions and
got repulsed by their lovemaking. Or if he didn’t believe it to be true, or acted cold as had happened with the message. Or
what if he came to the conclusion that his hibernation had been Athrun’s fault… Athrun’s mind
went on and on with possible scenarios but neither of those got him closer to
his beloved.
The ball had passed fine and the conference
that had just begun was going on as planned but his mind was not really
concentrated on anything other than Kira. What was he doing? Was he with that
unsuitable and always absent girlfriend of his? Had he recovered completely?
They had only been able to talk on the phone twice in the presence of the
others and for a short moment and that was not nearly
enough for the blue-haired Coordinator.
In ORB Kira stared in the mirror in front of
him. It was the third consecutive morning that he ended throwing up. And this
time he had not even had breakfast, yet his empty stomach tried to reject what
was not even inside of it. And that was not all. For the last two weeks he had
started to feel more and more awkward. He was sleepy all the time and he had
started to feel sick quite often after he ate something or even at the smell of
some foods. He had just decided he had recovered from his peculiar illness and
now he was down with some stupid flu or was having an upset stomach. Obviously
his immune system had weakened during the hibernation and that was the result.
He didn’t like what he had to do, but it had to
be done. He would be going to Erica Simmons for an examination or he would end
dragged up to one as soon as Cagalli and Lacus came back from PLANT which was
most probably going to happen in two or three days.
He sighed and decided that if there was no
other alternative then he could get this over with as soon as possible. He
called Erica-san to make an appointment. It turned out she could receive him in
only an hour, so he started to get dressed and went out.
It happened on the last day of the conference.
The news broke a day after Kira went to the doctor. There had been a sudden
attack of the Blue Cosmos up on the PLANT and there were casualties – not among
the attendants of the conference, but among the service personnel. All the
victims turned out to be Coordinators which only proved that the peace they all
craved was still not that stable as they wished.
Kira found that out because of Cagalli who
called to tell him what had happened before he heard it on the news and to
inform him that the five of them had no choice under the circumstances but to
stay on PLANT and to show that ORB was absolutely against such terrorist
actions.
Once it hit the media it became a huge scandal
that threatened to ruin all their efforts. There were those among the
Coordinators who demanded revenge and there were people among the Naturals that
wouldn’t hide their satisfaction that some those offencive
to the nature Coordinators had been wiped off.
The world was balancing on the edge of
destruction once again. Would it be possible to stop it from going down and
crushing the fragile peace so many had died for?
Erica Simmons thought that she had seen if not
everything than at least enough and considered it pretty much impossible to get
shocked by a diagnosis. Yet there it was in front of her. Kira-kun had
succeeded shocking her twice in less than a month. First was that weird
hibernation that might prove connected to what she saw now. And this!
There was no doubt whatsoever. She stared at
the complete chemical analysis of the blood she had requested, the MRI
and the ultrasound results. They all showed the same. But how was that
possible…
A/N: As you see Dullindal is not Chairman of PLANT. I am for eternal peace
even if it is hard to obtain, that is why I chose Eileen Canaver
to be the next Chairman (or should it be Chairwoman ^_^) after Patric Zala.
@Kimi: I keep writing. But I wish I had more time and
that I didn’t have to cut my beauty sleep short, in order to find time to
write.
@ Yami
Jay: Well, Rey and Shinn, as I said I wanted revenge
one, and two, I was too lazy to think of names of new characters. And Kira is
awake and about to get the shock of a lifetime in the next chapter. Or should I
say two great shocks. Poor him…
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