The Prince Bride

Disclaimer: Neither DBZVelena or ShenLong own in any way, shape, form or
matter any rights to the Movie/Book "The Princess Bride" All rights
remain with Act III Communications and William Goldman, the appropriate
copyright owners. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is
being made here. This fic, "The Prince Bride" is based on this
movie/book but with several twists and Yaoi content. This fic also contains many
direct quotes and scenes from the movie/book.

Rating: Since both stories are rated PG.-13 and this fic is based on them. Most of the fic will be PG.-13. However be careful to check individual chapters to be sure. (ShenLong might add a lemon, you never know...)

Warnings: Violence, romance, lime, fluff, cheesy-ness, and lots more.

Pairings: Lots! *snicker*

A Yaoi story based on the Movie/book The Princess Bride and Gundam Wing. This story is brought to you by the combined efforts of DBZVelena and ShenLong.

Authors note: DBZVelena: Ahh, bliss. My parents vacated the premises to terrorize Egypt for a week. So Now I only have to deal with my brother. He is at least tolerable, unlike my nagging parents. I blame the time it took for this chapter solely on their pre-vacation nervous idiocy.
ShenLong: I wish my lot would go away for a few days and leave me in peace to write.

__________________________________________
The Prince Bride

Chapter 12 "Rodents of Unusual Size"

Heero was getting a little on the bored side from listening to Duo's continuous chatter. He was a silent person by nature and appreciated the peace and quiet. Where as Duo had always been a man of few words when he worked on the farm something had happened to change that during the 5 years he had been missing, and Heero wished he knew who or what so he could shoot them. With a long suffering sigh he turned away and began to step along the path. Suddenly the ground gave way beneath him and he was sucked beneath the sands.

Duo turned around to see if Heero was still listening to him just as Heero's chocolate colored hair slipped beneath the grains of sand. "Oh Shit!" he yelled and looked frantically around. Spotting the large thick vines swathed around the trees Duo quickly yanked his sword free and slashed at one. Tossing the sword to the ground and taking hold of the vine he prepared to jump in after his love. He paused for a moment and spoke out aloud. "Like sands through the hour glass... such are the days of our lives." Then he plunged into the quick sand after Heero.

Feeling the sand enclose around him Duo fought off the panic he could feel rising in his chest. Blindly he groped around in the earth trying to locate Heero.

While Duo was frantically searching the sand's depths for his beloved Heero a most unusual creature waddled along the path. It paused by the quicksand and sniffed. It had a long snout, whiskers and beady black eyes. Its overly fat body was covered in a thick brown fur and a scaly tail finished the creature. It looked like a rat crossed with a hamster and so for the purposes of this fic we will call it a rodent of unusual size,
or a Ratster.

The Ratster sniffed the air and then the ground again. It paused and watched the quicksand. It gave a funny sort of squeak which translated to...
"Damnit! I smell fresh meat but it looks like the quicksand beat me to it." The
Ratster waddled around a bit more. "Shame, I haven't eaten in a while and could do with some sustenance. Damn sand, somehow it always seems to get into everything." With a few more grunts of Ratster swearing the animal waddled off again.

No sooner had the Ratster disappeared down the track than a hand shot out of the quicksand grasping the vine. Another hand followed and then two heads began to appear. Bit by bit Duo pulled himself clear of the quicksand, Heero clinging to his back and pushing delightfully against his rear. They were covered in sand and Heero sucked in fresh air greedily. Duo panted as well but not entirely from the lack of oxygen.

Rolling themselves clear of the pit, they lay for a moment on the firm ground. Heero was so relived to be out of the sand that he trembled. He noticed Duo trembling as well and looked over to his love and savior, feeling his heart melt even more that Duo should be feeling the same sense of relief as he was to still be alive. "I feel the same sense of relief to be alive." he said quietly to Duo.

Duo stood up. "Nani?"

"I noticed you trembling with relief at being alive." Heero said as he stood.

Duo pulled him into a warm embrace and ran his hand down Heero's back. He chuckled. "Oh I'm happy to be alive but that's not why I'm trembling."

"It isn't?" Heero asked.

"Oh no. It's this damn sand! It gets into every crevice and chafes like hell!" Duo quickly released Heero from his arms and ran behind a tree where he proceeded to strip and shake the sand from his clothes.

Heero blushed and then dived behind a tree himself as the presence of the sand in his nether regions made itself known, rather uncomfortably he might add.

Duo was pulling his silk boxers back on when something caught his vision. From behind the bushes, the Ratster stood watching. Duo swallowed hard as he realized it was eyeing up his mostly naked body with hungry looks. As quickly as he could he pulled his pants and shirt back on and began to move slowly backwards to where he had left Heero.

Heero had removed his tank top and spandex. He was amazed at the amount of sand they held. He dusted off his lower regions before pulling the shorts back on. "We will never succeed. We'll die in this accursed place." he yelled to Duo. // God it feels like someone ran a piece of sandpaper around my ass.// he thought. "There is no way we can survive this swamp, we may as well give up and die here."

Facing off against the Ratster Duo realized that this was all that was needed to convince Heero that escape would be futile, and right now the last thing they needed was to give up. Duo decided to try to play it calm.

Heero stepped out from behind his tree only to be swept into a warm embrace. Duo's fingers caressed his cheek and he eagerly leaned into the touch. "No Heero my love. We have already succeeded." Duo was careful to try to maneuver Heero slightly, avoiding any sudden moves in case they provoked the Ratster into attacking.

Moving slowly Duo continued. "I mean, what are the three terrors of the fire swamp?' Duo reached the spot where his sword lay and he bent to retrieve it.

Heero's eyes fixed on the view of Duo's rather nice shapely rear and didn't see the
Ratster shift slightly.

Picking up the sword Duo continued on with his little monologue. "One; the flame throwers. They are no longer a problem, the noise they make warns us in advance. Two; The quick sand. Well thanks to you we now know what to look out for." Duo had begun to move down the track again, cutting at the vines as they pressed forwards.

Heero had been listening with half his attention, the other being diverted to more pleasurable visions... namely the play of Duo's muscles as he swung the sword. Then reality dawned on him. "Umm Duo... What about the
Ratsters?"

Duo stopped in mid slash and turned to look at Heero. He cocked his head as he thought how the hell to get out of this one. He couldn't lie but on the other hand he didn't want to cause Heero any more upset either. "What do you mean
Ratsters? Surely my love you don't believe such creatures exist now do you?"

"Well if they don't what the fuck do you call that then." Heero replied and pointed, feet frozen to the spot.

Duo didn't get a chance to turn around and look at where Heero pointed as a large furry
Ratster pounced and knocked him flat.

The Ratster licked its lips and breathed in the scent of his prey. // I know this smell... I sniffed you earlier.// the
Ratster thought to himself and then gave a puzzled twitch of his whiskers. // Wonder how you got out of the quick sand? Oh well not to worry, you're my lunch and dinner too.// The
Ratsters tongue dartut aut and licked up the side of Duo's body. // Hmmmm you taste great, shame there isn't more of you. Oh well I guess the slightly toasted one will do for dessert.//

Duo began to wrestle with the Ratster. While he quite enjoyed the feeling of a tongue against his flesh the
Ratsters tongue wasn't on that list. Heero stood and watched, still rooted to the spot with fear.

Duo fought vainly, twisting and rolling around in the dirt with the furry creature. "Phew! You have shocking bad rat breath." he said. "Haven't you ever heard of brushing your teeth or investing in breath mints?"

The Ratsters reply consisted of sinking his teeth into Duo's arm, eliciting a yell from Duo. // Ohh that tasted divine... I could do with some more of that.// the Ratster thought and proceeded to try to *ravish* Duo a little more.

Up until that point Duo had been enjoying the little roll in the hay. The Ratsters body pushing against him, the surge of adrenaline through his veins, the tingling feeling still in his ass from Heero's close contact earlier all sending his over active libido into overdrive. The pain of the bite to his arm soon jerked him back to the reality of his situation though.

"Hey! Didn't anyone ever tell you to watch your teeth when you're playing!?" he yelled.

It was Duo's scream that finally jolted Heero from his shocked daze. Looking around he tried to find something big enough and heavy enough to hit the Ratster with. Where the hell was a buster rifle when you needed it?

Duo continued to writhe in pain as the Ratster feasted on his arm. He managed to swing his left arm and punch the
Ratster in the side of the head, dislodging the beast. He looked for his sword and reached for it but the
Ratster had other ideas. Before Duo's fingers could curl around the hilt the
Ratster had pounced and planted a paw heavily in Duo's groin area. Duo's eyes crossed momentarily as the pain traveled through his body.

Heero continued to gaze wildly around. He couldn't go for Duo's sword as that meant he had to pass by the furry beast and personally the smell that was coming from the animal was enough to put you off animals for life, either that or faint from lack of oxygen. There had to be something else he could do.

Meanwhile Duo had managed to uncross his eyes and convince his testicles to return to their usual place of abode and not cower deep inside his body. He swung his arms and brought his hands to the
Ratsters mouth, grasping the jaws he prevented the beast from sinking its teeth into his anatomy once more, only problem was he now had a completely unhindered view of the
Ratsters gaping orifice and the wriggling tongue within. He also copped another lungful of rancid
Ratster breath.

Duo continued to struggle with the beast, eventually he managed to get his feet underneath and planting them firmly against the animals belly he flipped the beast over his head and into the dirt a few feet away. He pulled himself up and hoped he had enough time to grab his sword.

The Ratster shook its head and rolled back onto its feet. He looked at Heero and charged. // That one is proving to be a bit tougher than I thought, I wonder if this slightly cooked one will taste better than he smells?//

Heero's blue eyes widened in panic as the creature bore down on him. "DUO!!!!" he screamed. He hoped that Duo would hurry up and get the sword and kill the beast before it got to him. In the meantime he would have to act as bait to give Duo the chance to retrieve the sword.

Duo heard Heero's scream and forgetting the sword he spun around. His heart leapt into his mouth as he watched the
Ratster charge at Heero. Fury raged through him, his blood boiled and his eyes darkened to a deep purple. " Nobody, but nobody hurts the love of my life. You just signed your death warrant
Ratster! Beware the wrath of the Dread Pirate SHINIGAMI!!!!!!!" Duo screamed.

The Ratster ignored the screeching coming from the red and black human and continued to charge at Heero. Duo grabbed the scaly tail as the
Ratster raced past and pulled hard. There was no way he was going to let this foul creature anywhere near his love.

With the beasts charge halted for the moment Heero suddenly noticed a lump of wood. Quickly he retrieved it and tried to hit the creature over the head with it but Duo had the
Ratster in a half nelson and was busy rolling around once more in the dirt. Now being the kind hearted person he was Heero didn't want to miss and accidentally hit Duo on the head so he opted to try poking the creature instead. Unfortunately this only antagonized the beast even more.

"Aggghhhhh! For shits sake stop helping Heero!" Duo yelled.

Apparently Heero had not only succeeded in poking the Ratster but connected with Duo as well.

Even more agitated that he had been foiled in obtaining his dinner the Ratster bit down on Duo's shoulder. // That will teach you to come between me and my meal.// the
Ratster thought with an evil grin.

Suddenly the sounds of bad plumbing reached Duo's ears. Never in all his life had he been so grateful to hear what sounded like blocked pipes. Quickly he rolled himself over, taking the animal with him and managed to push the creature over the top of the trap just as the flame shot upwards.

The Ratster screamed as he was turned into a *Ratster a la flambé*. The smell of the animals singeing flesh however didn't tickle the nostrils and Duo was reminded again of how much the plumbing noise, now combined with the stench reminded him of the sewers.

Duo ran for his sword, unable to take the smell any longer and amidst the beasts cries of "Hot!.. Hot!.. Hot! Oh hot!.. Very very hot!" he ran the sword through its chest and putting an end to the ear splitting cries.

"That will teach you to mess with the Dread Pirate Shinigami!" he crowed. With the beast now dead, Duo turned to Heero. "Are you okay my love?"

Heero raced forwards, jumping over the carcass and the sudden shot of flame like Jack over the candlestick and ran straight into Duo's waiting arms.

"Am I all right? I'm fine Duo. All I have are a few scratches and bruises, but you, what about you? I mean you just battled a ratty hamster thingy that was easily the size of a pig. Oh Duo, look at your shoulder and arm, you're bleeding. Come and sit and let me take a look at that."

Duo allowed himself to be led to a small log and sat down. Heero's fingers worked over the torn fabric of his shirt, inspecting the damage.

"I can't believe you didn't say you were injured. These wounds look nasty." Heero scolded as he continued to probe.

Duo jumped as Heero hit a particularly tender spot. He quickly stood and went to walk off. "We can't stop here, it isn't safe. We need to keep moving."

"Oh no you don't. Those wounds need to be cleaned and dressed so infection can't set in."

"I'll be fine Heero." Duo didn't really fancy Heero's fingers poking around in his sore spots... well not the bites anyway, he would much rather have those hands soothing the bruising of his testicles.

Knowing just how stubborn Duo could be at times Heero stood his ground. He folded his arms across his chest and looked defiantly at Duo. Well he hoped it was a defiant look, to Duo it was rather a cute expression. We are not moving anywhere until I have tended your wounds. I will not have you bleeding to death in this swamp and leaving me to try to find my own way out, which would be damn near impossible as I haven't got either my lap top or cell phone with me and I quit orienteering school before we got to the bit about navigating
witht the sun and stars bit, not that that would do any good in here as you can't see either for the thickness of the trees and starvation is a horrible way to die. Besides I don't think I could cope with the mosquitoes as well as those ratty things and not to mention the flame throwers, mind you they could be handy to cook dinner on and keep you warm at night...."

Duo blinked. He had never heard Heero speak so muck in one episode. Deciding he had better let the man have his way and tend his wounds he tried to interrupt the ramblings. "Okay... okay Heero. Have it your way. Fix me up." Duo winked.

Those last words brought Heero's little rant to a halt as he thought about what Duo had just said.

Duo sat down on a log and Heero, now effectively silenced, came over to check the bites. He produced a bottle of antiseptic cream from his spandex and dabbed it onto the open flesh, then taking off his tank top he began to rip the garment up.

Duo's eyes opened wide. "Ummm Heero I really don't think I'm up to a little bondage at the moment."

Heero glared and proceeded to pack the wound with his shirt.

"Oh. He he he." Duo chuckled as his cheeks went red.

Once Heero had packed and bandaged the wounds as best he could without a first aid
kit, [Hey you can only carry so much in spandex space!] Heero proceeded to check the rest of Duo's body for injury. He found a few minor bruises on his torso and then moved on down those gorgeously slender yet well toned legs.

Duo shivered as Heero's fingers ghosted over his body. As Heero made his way back up his legs Duo moaned. "It hurts Heero."

Heero's eyes opened wide. "Where Duo? Where does it hurt?"

Duo reached for Heero's hand and placed it gently over his crotch. "It hurts there."

Heero swallowed hard as his pulse rate picked up and his breath hitched, he had longed to touch Duo again after their all to brief previous encounter. He rubbed his hand over the swelling in the pants and cupping lightly he began to squeeze.

Duo yelped. "What are you trying to do to me Heero? The Ratster already had one go at castrating me, I don't need you to finish the job." Duo placed his hands protectively over his abused groin.

Heero went red. "I.. I'm sorry Duo, I thought.. well I thought you meant..."

"I meant my balls were sore Heero, not that I wanted you to grope me. I only wanted you to rub them better." Duo sighed. "Look forget it, we need to get moving before anything else evil and bent on destroying us shows up."

With a sense of disappointment Heero followed behind Duo as they set off once more to find the exit from the fire swamp.

~ oOo ~

Tbc.......