Housework

Note: Somehow, two chapters slipped out from the keyboard, so fast updates today. yay!


Dates and Sleepovers

During the day, Roy remembered he was supposed to talk to Havoc. “Hey, Havoc! You still seeing Amy?”

“No, and you know it! It's all your fault, I didn't have time to get her another present and she dumped me.” Jean growled, this always happened! The Colonel would make him do something lame and then HE'd get dumped.

“Well, that's too bad. Have you picked up any new numbers lately? I'm in the mood for a blond recently.” Roy smirked at his subordinate.

“Hah! Like I'd tell you if I did.”

“Oh, come now. Share, it's not like I won't get them anyways. It's so much easier if you just hand over their numbers.” Roy snickered quietly to himself, this is what made coming to work fun.

Havoc just growled and ignored him while Roy pretended to pout. Fuery giggled to himself in the corner and Falman ignored the whole thing. Breda was in the cafeteria, flirting with one of the lunch girls to give him something a bit early and missed everything. Not that he hadn't seen it before.

“Sir.” The office froze, then everyone whirled into activity, work work work, no slacking here.

“Yes, Lieutenant? What can I do for you?” No quiver, this was good, no signed papers to sacrifice, that was bad.

“Well, you can start with this, sir.” A pile of papers made a nasty 'thunk' noise. “There are more when you are finished, sir. Please get started right away.” Roy dutifully picked up a pen and started signing. “And please read these ones, sir. You almost missed a meeting last week because you didn't read the notice.”

“Ah, but I'm lucky enough to have you to remind me of such things! You do such a wonderful job of keeping me on schedule.” His most charming smile flashed.

“Thank you, sir. Please get started now.” She closed the door as she left.

Just before lunch, a pretty blond wandered in, looking for Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc. Colonel Roy Mustang was more than happy to offer his services in finding him, and secured himself a date for the evening. Havoc was sent home after sobbing for an hour and getting Fuery's shirt wet..

'Uh oh. If Havoc went home, what am I going to do with the boys?' This was obviously a new problem. Maybe... “Hughes! My friend, how would you like to have two lovely young men come and visit you for the night?”

“You went and made a date without making plans for them didn't you?” A smirk played across Maes' face and Roy could hear it. Nothing to be done, he was right.

“Uh, well. Yes, yes I did. You said they could come over anytime! Well, now's the time.” Roy tried to sound encouraging, there really weren't that many choices.

“No, I said 'Tammy' could come over anytime. But, since she doesn't exist...” The teasing tone was much too familiar. 'Don't you dare mock me over that you bastard.'

“Fine. I'll babysit for an evening if you take them.” The last thing he wanted was to have Hughes' little one to look after, but desperate times and all.

“Twice. And you have to help me plan her birthday party too.” Roy groaned, not that again, last year had been bad enough. He'd been trapped for three hours with a photo album before they'd even started planning the party. He'd talked himself hoarse to veto the elephants, but there had still been ponies and clowns.

“Fine. But you have to feed them.” There, that'll get him. “I'll drop them off after work.”

“Yep, yep, sounds good. See you then!”

Edward was not pleased to find himself at Hughes' place instead of at home. He refused to get out of the car, even when Al tried to tug him out. So, Roy got in beside him. Then shuffled. “Not moving is permission.” He shuffled again, pushing against Edward, who moved away. Again and again until Edward was half out and Al grabbed him, lifting him off the ground.

“I'm sorry, Brother. But the Colonel said we're staying here for the night. It'll be fun!” Edward did not think so, the kicking giving him away. “Now stop it. Here comes Mrs. Hughes.” Al set his brother down, keeping a hand on him as Gracia approached, holding Elysia. They greeted her politely, bowing nicely. Roy was pleased, even if he hadn't taught them their manners.

“Hello, Gracia, Elysia. Hope you're well tonight. Alright, boys, I'm off. I'll be here for you in the morning, around 7. Behave yourselves and have a good night!” He waved cheerfully before getting back into the car and driving off. He watched in the mirror as Al waved and Edward stared after him.

Gracia herded the two inside, showing them where to hang their coats. She left them in the living room with Elysia while she went to get a snack. Edward sprawled on the floor and pouted while Elysia crawled on him, babbling away to herself. “Ha ha, sounds like you, Al.”

“Does not! Take that back!” A wicked grin and shaking of the head were his responses. Al pounced, careful to reach around the little girl and tickled his brother mercilessly. Elysia screamed in laughter as her seat bucked and kicked under her, wiggling frantically to escape.

Gracia smiled and watched them play, listening to the laughter, hoarse and low as it was, coming from the previously silent child. She called them over to eat, watching as Al made pictures with his, drawing clouds in the dip and using the vegetables and fruit to make houses and trees. Finally, once everything else was gone, Ed started stealing little pieces, encouraging Elysia to do the same. Al tried to protect his masterpiece but was attacked on both sides and finally gave it up.

They went outside to play, the two alchemists making a castle for the little girl, and Al wove a crown of flowers. The boys tussled, urged on by the tiny princess, until Ed was pinned and a shower of flowers was tossed over him. Elysia gave enthusiastic hugs to both her heroes, then screamed when she saw her daddy come home.

Maes swung her up and listened to her babbling, talking right back just as fast. They rubbed noses and were generally sickeningly affectionate. Ed and Al stared, wondering if their mother had ever treated them like that. They were pretty sure she had spared them the humiliation. They hoped.

Gracia called them all for supper and the group trouped in to wash and sit. Ed waited until everyone else had started, then began cautiously. When he wasn't yelled at, he started inhaling food, Al tempering his intake until the others were finished. Once he was done, he and Al cleared the table, Al insisting Gracia sit, as she had cooked. When the kitchen was clean, they wandered to the living room and settled on the floor.

“What do you boys usually do in the evenings?” Maes wasn't sure what to do with the pair. Roy didn't leave any instructions other than not to touch Edward.

Al responded, “We play chess, then practice arrays. The Colonel gives us challenges and we design something to complete them. Can we do that, please? We'll be really quiet, and won't even try them out until we get home.”

Hughes grinned, “No problem, you can be as loud as you want and you can test things in the backyard if you like. Maybe nothing big though, ok? I don't know anything about alchemy.”

“Thank you, sir. Can, may we have some paper please? And some pencils? Would you like to give us some challenges?”

“Certainly. I see Roy is teaching you some manners. Why don't we go outside? It's a lovely evening. Come on, sweetheart, let's go out!” He swung his princess into his arms and carried her to the back door, stopping to grab some paper and pens. The four sat on the step and Maes thought about something to challenge them with. “Well, can you make it rain? My garden could use a bit of water.”

Limited rain, water and hydrogen from the air, control is the tricky part here, you don't want to get wet. Maybe a time delay? Ed sketched a quick circle and they began their ritual of haggling. More complicated, less complicated, duplicable, distance, time, amount of water, force. “No, no, it has be replicated by others, that's the rule! Brother, you're making it too hard.” Furious head shaking and they were off again, communicating quickly with hand gestures and body movements. “No, we're not just trying it this way, it's too hard. It doesn't matter if it works, it won't count! Don't you attack me! The Colonel said no fighting!” Apparently that didn't matter, because the Colonel wasn't there and Ed leaped, tackling his brother to the dirt.

Hughes stood, setting his darling to the side. He waded in, grabbing both brothers by the back of the neck. “Oi, oi, none of that now. If Roy said no fighting, no fighting.” Ed went limp in his hands. He let him go quickly, right, no touching. “Sorry about that. However, fighting is not allowed. Now, can you complete the challenge without anymore fighting?”

“Yes, sir. We're sorry.” Ed nodded.

“Ok then, go ahead.” The two brothers sat down again, picking up their paper and pens, scribbling away. Finally, they both nodded, satisfied. Al grabbed a stick and started drawing, Ed watching him. The blond started shaking his head and tried to claim the drawing stick, which Al protected. They started squabbling again, heading for a wrestling match. Maes cleared his throat loudly, freezing both teens. They looked at him, then at each other. Ed started pointing and Al made the necessary changes.

Once it was finished, they stood back and looked. Al stepped forward and powered the array. He was promptly soaked when water gushed down on his head. Ed howled and fell onto the muddy ground holding his sides. He screamed with laughter as his brother knelt in a mud puddle, frozen in shock. “You!! You did that on purpose! I'll, I'll” Al wasn't sure what he was going to do, but it was going to be severe, he knew that much. Suddenly, he knew exactly what to do. He drew a quick array and powered it. The ground shifted, swallowing Ed's arms and legs, holding him down. He was still laughing, but started to struggle. Al pounced, tickling his captive, much less gently than in the house. Ed screamed and tried to flail, bucking his entire body to escape.

Hughes finally came out of shock and hauled Al away, ordering him to free his brother. If this was what Roy did every night, he had seriously underestimated him. It was definitely time to go back in, he had had enough alchemy for a while. Gracia caught him at the door and forbid any of them entry, except Elysia, who had stayed on the step. She brought out a basin of water and the three washed up, making themselves at least presentable enough to go straight to the bathroom for baths. Al and Ed were shown to a small room and left to clean up. Ed washed carefully, getting the mud out of his auto-mail joints before going to work on Al. It took an hour to get him clean and the water was cold long before they were done. Ed had to use some water to make oil, the Hughes' didn't have any, of course.

When they were done, Ed cleaned their clothes and they got dressed and headed back down. Ed was antsy from not running that morning and Al asked if they could go out. Maes felt obligated to escort them and ended up running for half an hour before returning home, drenched in sweat. The boys were sent back upstairs to clean up again while the house's owner collapsed on the couch to play with his baby before she went to bed.

The brothers wandered back downstairs dressed in the pajamas Roy had left for them, they had no idea where he got them. Elysia was yawning and hugged them both goodnight before being carried to bed by her father. Gracia showed the boys the spare room and they cuddled in for the night.

“I love you, Brother.” Al was getting ready to shut himself down for the night.

“Thank you, Al.” Ed's sleepy voice answered.
*******************************

Roy's evening started well enough. After dropping the boys off, he zipped home to change into his backup uniform and check to make sure he was looking his normal wonderful self. He was, and arrived to pick up his date, Mandy, right on time. They arrived at a small, quaint restaurant, one of Roy's favorites for dates. His usual table was ready and his favorite wine already on the table. Mandy was very impressed and babbled on about how wonderful it was. Their meal was served and eaten, chatting the whole time. Her voice was a bit annoying, but not bad, and she made passable conversation, but Roy found his thoughts wandering. He hoped the boys were doing alright and having a good time. He dragged his attention back to his date to hear her babbling on about kittens and how adorable they were.

“Do you like children?” Somehow it just popped out.

She stared at him, taken aback at the sudden change in topic. “Yes, I love children! I want at least two for myself, a boy and a girl, I'd like to name them...” and she was off again, babbling away. Roy couldn't believe he'd asked something so stupid. Than, his mouth opened again.

“Would you like to come to my place for supper next week?” What the hell? Where did that come from? He never took women home with him, much less for supper.

Too late now, she was already answering. “Why yes, I would love to come. Thank you.” She blushed prettily. They left and Roy took her home. He didn't feel like anything else tonight, not after his stupidity. He got a quick kiss and a hug, then retreated to the car. He banged his head on the steering wheel for a minute before leaving.

Instead of home, he found himself outside Maes' place. There were still lights on, so he decided to go in. Maybe the boys were still up and would want to come home. He wasn't really looking forward to a night alone, it was strangely comforting to know they were in the house. He climbed the steps and knocked gently. The door opened and Gracia smiled and motioned him in, as if it weren't odd that he was there in the middle of the night.

Maes looked up as he entered the kitchen. “I am officially rescinding my offer. There is no way in hell we are taking those two off your hands. You are on your own.” He looked tired, as if he had run all day and was just now getting to sit down.

“What's wrong? They didn't act up, did they? They're usually pretty well behaved.” That was strange, they usually behaved well when he left them with someone, it was only if they were left alone that they were a bit rambunctious.

“No, they were fine. One minor fight, but nothing big. They just have so much energy! Where does it all come from?”He shuddered. “And the alchemy! I've never seen anything like it, they use it like it's a game.”

“Alchemy? They weren't playing with forts again were they?”

“No, they made a castle for Elysia, but they put everything back before they came for supper. I had them drawing arrays and Ed fixed one to get his brother wet. Then Al used one to hold him down. It went downhill from there. They wanted to RUN, Roy, RUN. Half an hour, after playing all afternoon, working out this morning, doing alchemy this evening, they wanted to run. And they were fine when we got back! I'm exhausted and there is no way we are adopting those two.” He glared at his friend, who was trying to hold back his laughter.

Roy couldn't stop, he laughed, his hand over his mouth. “Well, I'm here to save you. Are they still up? I'll take them home.” His friend shook his head and waved him up the stairs. Roy walked upstairs to the guest room and peeked inside. Al turned and looked at him.

“Colonel! You're here!” He hopped out of bed and rushed over to the door. “Brother is asleep, but I'll wake him for you. Are you taking us home?”

The Colonel smiled at him and shook his head. “Yes, I'm here to take you home. Why don't you carry your brother out, we'll let him sleep. I'll get your things.” He gathered the clothes and stuffed them in a bag from the closet, then led the way for Al to carry Edward to the car. “Did you have a good time?”

“Oh, yes, sir! Elysia is a lot of fun and Major and Mrs. Hughes are very nice. The Major even let us practice alchemy in the backyard, just a little one, but Ed wrecked it, he changed the array and got me wet and we got muddy and had to have a bath. Then we got to go out for a run and that was lots of fun, we went a long way but I don't think the Major enjoyed it very much, he looked really tired, so we came back. Can we go tomorrow morning?” As usual, Al babbled away happily, sharing everything that had happened. Roy filed it all away as ammunition for next time Maes annoyed him. He should tell Rose Hughes was out of shape, that'd get him for the 'Tammy' shots.