Drabbles from a warped mind.

Title: Never Let Go
Pairing/Characters: ?/? I don’t want to give it away.
Rating: PG for implied boy love
Warning: Angst. Badly written song fic. Maybe slightly OOC.
Timeline: After certain key plot events.
Words: 932 – doesn’t include song lyrics at the bottom
Summary: He’ll never let him go.
A.N: Based on Skillets song ‘The Last Night’. I’ve been meaning to get around to this for ages but I never found the time. It doesn’t suck too badly although it could have been better. I wrote it in first person which feels very strange to me for an entire fic/drabble. I think it needs work. I've never really tried anything like this before so it's kind of an experiment.

~~~~~~~~~~

You show up on my doorstep, bandages around your wrists, red tinting them slightly.

“What have you done this time?”

“I failed.” Your voice is hoarse from crying. “I don’t want to feel this bad anymore; I just want it to end. I need to go away for a while, I came to say goodbye, you deserve that at least.” You turn to leave, I grab your arm. “Don’t, please. I don’t want you to see me like this anymore. I’m just gonna go home and pack a bag, a little trip is all I need, I’ll be back before you notice I’m gone.” The blood at your wrists is proof that you’re lying to me and we both know it.

I pull you to me and you hide your face in my shoulder, I can feel them shaking slightly.

“You don’t have to be alone, I’m here for you. Didn’t I promise you that? Look at me.” You fight my hold, unwilling to raise your head but I’m just as stubborn as you are. Slowly I coax your head up, your eyes meet mine. “I’ll always be here for you, wherever you are, I am. You’ll never be alone again, understand?” You nod slowly; you still don’t believe me so I wrap you in my arms pulling you closer than seems physically possible. I hold you and try to make that convey my feelings, that I’ll never let you go. Whatever you need, I’ll give it.

I know you’ve heard the voices, those higher ups that you thought were cheering you on now speaking behind your back. Vague accusations of blame, of what could have been different. It isn’t us, we all know you did what was needed. Your family doesn’t blame you for their loss, I don’t blame you. You think they’re calling you weak, that they know something you don’t want them to know but they’re wrong and so are you. I know you’re not weak, I know you’re not to blame and nobody knows you as well as I do.

“I hate it when they say it will change.” The suddenness of your voice draws my gaze down to you. “That everything will be fine.” I think I understand what you are trying to say. “At some point I will forgive myself.” It really wasn’t your fault, nothing could have change what happened to them. “They’re lying and I know it.”

I kiss those lips that speak half-truths that neither of us wants to hear. Taking your hand I lead you to the bedroom, you’ll sleep with me tonight and every night from now on. I never want you to feel alone again. Your eyes shimmer as tears fall silently, only the second time I’ve ever known you to cry in front of somebody else. I sit you on the bed, you don’t put up much of a fight, and make you kick off your boots as I shed you of your jacket.

I push you down to lie on the bed and you don’t resist. Looking down at your weary form I know that I’ll fix you, I will keep trying until you are whole again. I move around the bed to climb on at the other side, you turn onto your side and face away from me, to offer up your back either as an insult or an easier way to hold you, I’m not sure which. I crawl up behind you, wrapping my arm over your waist and pulling you back to me so you can feel the warmth from my chest, you relax slightly into the feeling. I’ll be everything for you, lover, confidant, friend, family, whatever you need.

I’ll never let you go.

You’ve not been sleeping, I can tell. So many worries and regrets fill your head that I know you’ve been having nightmares, how could you not? I reach out for your hand and will you to hold on. I’ll keep you from falling into Hell as you sleep, I’ll help you to hold on tonight and every night to come.

Your hand closes around mine as if you are holding on for dear life. I think it may have finally seeped in to your weary mind that you don’t need to be alone anymore. You turn to face me without breaking the contact with my hand. You look at me, staring into my eyes. Yours are bottomless, endless pools of pain. I’m going to free you from that, I’m going to be everywhere you are, everywhere you want me to be until there is no more pain behind your eyes. Even when it’s gone I’ll never leave you. I will be by your side until the end, my arms wrapped around you when you need comfort, lifting you when you fall, urging you on, keeping you on the path.

I’ll never let you say goodbye, I’ll never let go of you. I’ll be the reason you get up in the morning, the reason you can’t wait to go to bed at night. The answer to every question you might ever ask. As you begin to drift off, a small twitch of your lips hinting at a smile you squeeze my hand tighter.

“Don’t let go Jean.”

“Never Roy, never.”

You slip into sleep, your face the closest to peaceful that I’ve ever seen it. I pull you close and listen to your breathing, a sound I will never get tired of hearing. This is where you are meant to be, where you belong, you’ll never be away from me again.

~~~~~~~~~

The Last Night - Skillet

[Verse 1]
You come to me with scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie

[Chorus:]
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be

[Verse 2]
Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you they don't know you at all
I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine
But I know it's a lie

[Chorus:]
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be

The last night away from me

[Bridge:]
The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand
I will help you hold on
Tonight
Tonight

[Chorus:]
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be

[Altro:]
I won't let you say goodbye
And I'll be your reason why
The last night away from me
Away from me