Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Hope Leaves	By : pegarsus9 Category: Dragon Ball Z > General Views: 2544 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or its characters and make no money from this story. Blah.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Sorry it took so long, too many essays to write and no time to write for fun! Anyway here it is, and Bulma finally gets a bigger part in this chapter! Enjoy and let me know what you think :)

THIS CHAPTER: Bulma leaves with the prince, ignorant of the hell in store for her, and chaos ensues. Vegeta continues to sink into apathy, wondering if searching for an escape is even worthwhile anymore. Goten's circumstances only get worse.

WARNINGS: violence, NC/rape

“The Willing Well III: Apollo II: The Telling Truth”

...In my presence you will make sure the fiction meets its fate

That death will grace your face my dear character

Through these lessons you have learned, All the worlds from here must burn

For as God demands that the end, we miss

Jesse, bad boy, Just come look at what your brother did

To that girl's precious little whore of a body...

-Coheed and Cambria

***

Bulma sat at the table with her head in her hands. All morning she'd been trying to get Bra packed and ready for their holiday, and all morning the little girl had been extremely defiant and moody, crying, shrieking, and insisting she wasn't going with her parents. She'd been considering getting Vegeta to talk to her, but the child was still upset with her father over his long absence a few weeks ago, and was expressing her anger at him by making up all kinds of tall tales, saying she hated him and that he wasn't her daddy anymore. It had been incredibly stressful, but she couldn't blame Bra, and knew it was just a phase that would pass.

First Vegeta had gone missing, then Bra had been difficult ever since he'd come back, and now this, this terrible thing that had happened to her neighbour, to her friend. It was hard to believe Karen was dead, when Bulma kept expecting to pass her by when she went to check the mail, or when the other woman was out gardening. After all the mystery and magic, the death and destruction the scientist had witnessed since her youth, one would think she'd be used to tragedies like Karen's murder, yet this was different somehow. It was so very different. The one who'd committed this disgusting crime, he was no mad scientist, no alien, no android... he was only human. Just an average person like any other, driving by her on the roads, going to work, living life just like she did, everyday. Just a regular man, who'd done this unspeakable thing that she'd always imagined only monsters were capable of. Perhaps the crazy life Bulma had lead for so long, following intergalactic battles and chasing dragonballs with tailed boys... perhaps it had allowed her to believe in childish fantasies for far too long. It wasn't monsters that were responsible for the suffering in the world. Evil existed, right here on earth, within man kind itself. Right outside her front door. The sound of Trunks' footsteps approaching the lounge snapped her out of the sombre thoughts.

'Trunks, please speak to her,' she began to nag the moment he stepped into the lounge. 'Please?'

'I don't know mum, maybe Bra should just stay here if she really doesn't wanna go on the holiday with you guys... well maybe not stay here, but she could go to Chi Chi's house and hang out with Pan-'

'No, no, no, she's coming with us and that's that! I don't want her to be around here while the investigation is going on next door. She doesn't need to be exposed to any of that, I just... and she needs to spend a bit of time with her father as well. You know she hasn't been the same around him since he came back, and I don't want it to become an ongoing thing. Please, just talk to her honey? I'm at my wits end here.'

At this, Trunks rolled his eyes, left the room and walked down the hall. When he reached his sister's room he threw the door open, not bothering to knock.

'Get up,' he said sternly, seeing she was hiding under her covers. 'I said get up Bra. I'm older than you, do what I say.'

She poked her head out from under the doonah cover and gave him the meanest look she could muster. 'I don't care,' she stated haughtily, tossing her head. Trunks had to stifle laughter, finding it hilarious how much she looked like their mother right now. 'Well,' he continued, sobering himself. 'You're going to have to get up cause you gotta go with mum and dad. You're making mum get all upset and now she's bugging everyone else in the house. And anyway, if they leave you here then I'm gunna have to look after you and I have stuff planned. So don't ruin it for me.'

'He's not daddy,' she said very quietly, but Trunk's didn't miss it.

'What did you say?'

'Nuffin.'

'I heard what you said. For fuck's sake Bra, you've gotta stop this! You're really stressing mum out when you say shit like that-'

'I'm gunna tell on you!' she shouted, pointing accusingly. 'You said a F word!'

'So tell her, I don't care! But you better stop saying stuff like that about dad otherwise, otherwise... Is Goten the one who told you that? Is that why you say it? God, I'm gunna beat the shit outta him next time I see him.'

'You can't even,' she taunted.

'Oh believe me, I could, and that's exactly what I'm gunna do if you don't go with mum and dad right now! He deserves it anyway for causing all this trouble. Why does everyone blame dad every single time anything goes wrong around here? It's just not fair-'

Bra stood up on her bed, raised one fist in the air and brought it down incredibly hard against the wooden bedhead, shattering it. 'HE'S NOT DAD!' she shrieked, silencing her brother who just stared in shock at both the bedhead and her. He raised both his hands in the air with palms outstretched to signal he was done with the argument and silently left her room, too surprised and angry to notice his father leaning against the opposite wall close by. As soon as Trunks was out of sight, the prince quietly sidled into Bra's room, making the little girl startle when she saw him.

'So... I hear you don't want to go on the nice little trip I've planned for us.'

She stared up at the strange man who was hiding behind her daddy's face with a fire in her eyes and stuck out her tongue, refusing to give him any other response.

'Now now girl, I won't have that. There'll be no more bad manners. Besides, if you don't come with us, who's going to look after your mummy?'

Still no answer.

'Because you know, your mummy's only human after all. She could get hurt, out there all alone, so far from home. Don't you want to make sure she doesn't?'

Bra put her hands over her ears to signify that she wasn't listening, even though she was, not completely understanding what the mean man was saying, but afraid all the same. Why was he saying that her mummy could get hurt?

'She's not very strong, little one. Not like a saiyan. She needs you to protect her. Me and your mummy, we're going to play a little game while she's sleeping. I'm going to dig a hole in the ground, and when she's asleep, I'm going to throw her in. And then, I'm going to fill that hole right back up with dirt. You see, I was hoping you'd play the game with us too, *daughter*. It will be just like hide and seek. After you count to 30, you'll have to go find where mummy's buried in the ground so you can get her out. You know how weak mummy is don't you? She won't be able to get out of the ground by herself.'

The little girl's hands had dropped to her sides now, and her eyes were wide with terror, filling slowly with unshed tears.

'W-what if no one got her out?' she whispered, a single tear drop spilling over and cascading down the smooth baby cheek.

'Well she'd die of course,' he replied, his voice filled with mock sadness. He couldn't help but laugh when he took in the child's adorably wobbling lip and her little fists trembling with fear. 'It would be very tragic.'

Sensing that the little girl was about to wail, the prince moved with lightening speed to her bed side and quickly clamped a hand over her mouth. 'Uh uh uh, no tears little one. All you need to do is go into the lounge room and tell mummy you're coming with us. There's a good girl,' the prince said with an open smile, that smile that Bra had never seen on her father's face at any time in her short life. She hated that stupid smile more than anything in the world. Shoulders shaking and tears rolling down her cheeks in a constant stream, the stricken child got up off her bed mechanically and walked towards her door, ready to face her mother now.

'And Bra?' he called from behind her, staring at her with shadowed, blood shot eyes as his grin widened. 'You tell her you're coming along, but apart from that... don't say a word.'

Quiet, malicious laughter followed her as she ran down the hall. Once she reached the lounge, Bra threw herself into Bulma's arms, sobbing miserably.

'I'll come with you mummy,' she choked out. 'I promise I will...'

Bulma looked down at her with both surprise and confusion, and began to stroke the little girl's feather soft locks in an attempt to comfort her. 'That's really good sweety but... what's the matter? Why the crocodile tears? There's nothing to be upset about, we're going to have a great time, a nice little holiday. Do you remember the last time we went on a holiday, me, you, Trunks and your daddy? We had a good time didn't we?'

No reply, only more tears. Bulma sighed and buried her face into her little girl's hair, feeling suddenly exhausted and wishing she could cry herself. If only the time until they left would pass a little faster. She just wanted to get away, to get out of this house. Just for a little while.

*(Hours later, evening...)*

After a 10 hour long trip in one of CC's private jets, followed by an indiscriminate period of time searching for the private chalet that he'd booked them into, the Briefs finally arrived at their destination.

'So this is it huh? Bulma chirped as she stepped out of the car, retrieved Bra from the back seat and lead her along by the hand. They'd left the jet at an airport near by to be taken care of on Vegeta's insistence. Supposedly flying into this area with the noisy machine would disturb the native wildlife. She'd laughed at the fact that he'd even thought of such a thing, but of course had agreed, touched at this rare show of consideration for things other than himself and his immediate family. The family's movements seemed to have triggered off sensor lights, which provided a little more illumination to their surrounds besides the moonlight.

Bulma had seen some of the most amazing sites imaginable in her time, but there was something captivating about this place. Stretched out as far as the eye could see were temperate rainforests, with towering, narrow tree trunks reaching for the sky above and a leafy sea of ferns enveloping their bases. In the distance, the peak of a waterfall could be seen glistening under the stars, so much more vibrant out here in the country where there was no light pollution to cloud them out. She leaned her head on her husband's shoulder as the cool, damp air tickled their skin.

'So tranquil... this is just what I need,' she whispered, laying her head on her husband's shoulder. He made no reply.

'Come on you two,' she sighed happily, turning towards the chalet. 'Let's go get some rest so we can see the sights tomorrow.

Upon entering the chalet, Bulma smiled girlishly at the way the place was decorated. It had a naturalistic theme, with rich wooden furniture and hand crafted pottery, often filled with unusual wildflowers that would have been harvested from the rainforest outside. Embroidered rugs adorned the polished redwood floors, and heavy silk curtains gleamed under the light bulb.

'Isn't it pretty Bra?' Bulma lifted her daughter into her arms, taking her over to an enlarged photograph on the wall of an exotic bird, also a native of the rainforest. 'Look at the pretty bird hun. It's called a King Parrot. Maybe we'll see a real one soon, hey?'

Bra had been very quiet and sullen, but a tiny smile warmed her features at the sight of the beautiful bird.

'Pretty red birdy,' she murmured.

'And look, he's got nice green wings too. Hopefully we'll see one tomorrow. Now lets get you to bed hun, you must be exhausted.'

Getting Bra settled and into bed took Bulma over half an hour. When she finally entered the master bedroom she sighed in frustration.

'Something the matter?' the prince questioned from where he was perched on the window sill.

'Bra just didn't want to go to sleep for some reason. It's alright, she's in bed now. What are you doing sitting up there anyway? You're like a cat sometimes I swear. Why don't you get down and come to bed.'

No reply, just a cryptic smile. Bulma rolled her eyes.

'Don't tell me you're gunna make a fuss about coming to bed too,' she giggled, sidling up to him and pressing her lips to his ear. 'C'mon... you'll get cookies and milk...'

'Really?' he murmured. 'And what do you really mean by that?'

'What ever pleases your majesty.'

'I see. Well for a start you could join me up here.' He reached down and put his arms around her, hoisting her up onto his lap and . 'Look out there, out into the forest. What do you see there, woman?'

'I... I see trees, and rivers. I can see a waterfall all the way over there, and uhh, some birds. And I think that might have been a rabbit.'

He was silent, giving her the impression her answer was wrong. 'I don't know,' she huffed. 'Peace, tranquility? Nice smells? This whole place smells amazing.'

'Close enough, though you can't really see the smells. It's a place of rest. It would be a good place to die.'

Bulma turned her head to look into his eyes, silently questioning, though all she could really think about was her poor neighbour Karen who sprung instantly to mind at the mention of death. 'Why would you say that? You're not gunna die...'

'What's the matter woman? What are you really thinking? You don't normally cry so easily.'

Her head was in her hands now, tears slipping through her slender finger tips and shimmering in the moonlight. 'Why did you have to bring that up? You know how I've been feeling about that stuff lately you jerk. I just want to get away from it all.'

'Then just let it fly out the window. Let it go. It doesn't flatter you anyway, having your face scrunched up and your nose running like that.'

For that comment, she elbowed him in the ribs. 'What is it with you making jokes about how I look these days huh? Even on my worst day when I've barely slept and just got out of bed, I still look a hell of lot better than you do! And at least I was beautiful when I was younger, unlike *some* people I know. Don't you forget that mister,' she finished triumphantly.

'You know,' he continued on as though he hadn't been listening, his voice startlingly emotionless. 'When I was young, I had a friend who used to tell me the same thing. Well, he was a little harsher perhaps. He very often used to ask me, 'how can you even stand in front of a mirror, looking the way you do?'

Immediately she felt guilty, and surprised he'd even tell her a thing like that. 'You never told me about that. It wasn't a very nice thing for your friend to say. Sounds like he wasn't much of a friend.'

'There are many things you haven't been told. There's a side of me you've never known.'

'Well I might, if you'd let me.'

'You told me that the little girl, Clarice, she died with her mother didn't she?'

'Vegeta, I don't-

'You know what we did with demented children like that where I came from? They were put down at birth.'

On hearing this vile revelation, Bulma wriggled out of the prince's arms and hopped back down onto the floor.

'That's disgusting Vegeta,' she fumed. 'Clarice was not demented, she was disabled, there's a big fucking difference, and if anyone is *demented*, it's the kind of people who do sick things like that. Why would you even bring something up like that as if you actually agree with it right now? You know what's gone on lately, you know how I'm feeling! Are you just trying to say things to upset me? I can't believe you brought us all the way out here and now you're trying to start a fight with me!'

He didn't look at her, only stared blankly through her, as though his eyes couldn't focus.

'I have to go back to see my doctor soon. It's very important.'

'What? What are you talking about? You can't go back to that doctor, that's where all this mess started in the first place! And why do you keep completely changing the subject, you've done it three times in the last three minutes. I thought we came to this place so we could relax and spend some time together and forget about all these horrible things that have been happening lately, but now you're acting weird again, just like when you first got back after disappearing and every now and then ever since then-'

'But Bulma, I need this,' he pressed on, his voice continuously rising as he spoke and his eyes wild. 'I need to see my doctor. I'm crazy, remember? You said so yourself.'

'I didn't mean it like that. I didn't even say it like that. God, when you act like this I feel like I don't know you. It's like you're a completely different person or something!'

'Just like the girl's been saying?' he replied quietly.

'Yes,' she stammered. 'Just like... Bra's been saying.'

'And just like Goten's been saying?'

'What- how did you know about that? How did you know Goten called me?! I was miles away from you when I spoke to him, how could you know about that?'

'I had no such knowledge Bulma. There was no way to tell for sure if he'd really spoken to you or not, but the manner in which he confronted me yesterday gave me the sneaking suspicion that he had. Of course you didn't feel the need to divulge that to me until now, did you?'

'Well I didn't think it mattered because I didn't believe anything he said.'

'Yes, I suppose I believe you. He was telling some very tall tales, I'd be surprised if anyone believed him. He was spouting all kinds of nonsense about how I wasn't really Vegeta and how I'd done something with the real one, and how I hacked up your neighbour into little pieces and strangled that dim-witted child of hers. Crazy stuff really.'

Bulma was gradually stumbling backwards, coming closer and closer to colliding with the end of the bed while the prince observed her with morbid fascination, unable to help noticing the deathly pallor that had overcome her features.

'You've gone white as a sheet. What have I said this time?'

'Hacked up? Who said she was... how do you know she died that way?! That isn't true!'

'Oh I don't remember how I found out really. Maybe it was on the news. Isn't that the kind of thing you humans have on the news so you can be entertained over dinner? What? There's no need to get so upset about it, I'm only asking,' he concluded, pretending to be exasperated. The silence between them lasted for about 15 seconds before the prince began to laugh, the sound growing louder and more manic the longer it went on. Bulma could only stare at him in horror, having finally realised the terrible mistake she'd made as all the loose ends that had been gathering around the edges of her life during the last month finally began to come together. Slowly she turned and began to head towards the door, not knowing how far she'd get and unsurprised when he appeared in front of her just as she reached for the handle. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as he took hold of her shoulders and pressed her back firmly up against the door.

'Now I know what you're thinking, and I want you to hold that thought. We aren't up to that part yet. I'll give you the chance to run when the time comes, but until then there are a few important issues we need to resolve, don't you think?'

'Let's get one thing straight,' she replied boldly despite the trembling of her body. 'I don't know why you're here or what you want, but whatever it is I'm not going to let you hurt my daughter. And I want to know what's happened to Vegeta. You might as well just tell me because I will find out somehow. I can see now that you aren't him, are you?'

'It's nice to see you're as bold as ever. However I should warn you that the last person who gave me attitude ended up with full body tribal tattoos, so best watch your mouth when you speak to me.'

*I hope he's not talking about Goten... God damn it, why didn't I listen to him!?*

'I'm not scared of you, you fucking freak. And I'll speak to you however I want.'

'Very well, have it your way,' he chuckled. 'I suppose I have to congratulate you on finally figuring it out. I'm not Vegeta, not even remotely. I am simply the discarded shell of someone he could have been, but that doesn't mean you ought to underestimate me. You don't know how long I've been waiting to do this.'

'Waiting to do what?' Bulma tried desperately to maintain her brave facade and keep the nervousness from her voice. The prince was speaking quite loudly, and hopefully Bra would hear what he was saying, know what was wrong, and run. It was times like these that she regretted not having asked her friends to teach her how to speak telepathically. She'd always trusted her 'women's intuition' way too much, and looking back on her youth, it hadn't been all that reliable. *Bra...* she thought, concentrating hard. *I don't know if you can sense what I'm thinking, but please, go! Run!*

'What have you been waiting to do?' she repeated, her mouth incredibly dry.

'Oh you'll see. Do you know when I dragged Karen into her little girl's room, the little idiot just stared at us. Didn't have the slightest clue anything was wrong. Isn't that adorable? I dropped her stone dead mother on the floor right before her eyes and all she did was stick out her disgusting tongue. Vile thing it was, large and flat like her face, and coated in white fuzz. Why the hell do you earthlings keep those creatures alive? Made me sick to the stomach just looking at her, so I wrung her neck. Hah, I think I made the world a better place don't you? Not to mention I got rid of that uptight, frigid bitch that gave birth to such a disgusting thing.'

Bulma didn't care anymore that he could see the tears now running down her face, too distraught about the fact that a man who looked so like Vegeta was doing and saying these sickening things.

'She was a beautiful little girl. People like her bring joy to the lives of their mother's and everyone else around them. The only kind of thing that would make people sick to look at is a thing like you!'

'That's enough woman. We've dwelt on this dull subject far too long don't you think? It's time to move on. Now tell me, you think I'm crazy don't you? Is that correct? I know you've said it before. I've heard many of the things you've said. You may not have sensed it, but I was there sometimes, laying beside you at the same time he was. All those times he looked back at you and seemed far away, or gone, I was there.'

'You... you mean Vegeta? But how? How could you have been there? What are you?'

'I told you that already. I'm the person he could have been. There's a great darkness inside him, but of course you know that don't you? Better answer me quickly, if you want to know the truth.'

'Yes,' she admitted reluctantly. 'I know. I always knew it. But I don't care. Everyone deserves a chance, even the worst of us. That's something an old friend of mine taught me.'

'That's a very nice sentiment, but Vegeta harbours a darkness that even you don't know about. Even he isn't completely aware of me. I'm all the things he never wanted to be, all the thoughts and desires he pushed away. He committed some heinous crimes, but he could of done worse. He could have given in and become me. There were times he was me, almost. But in the end the good in him won out completely, and I was locked in the cage of his warped mind, permanently discarded. Do you know who I mainly have to thank for that Bulma?'

She only looked at him, almost knowing what he was going to say as he mouthed the word 'YOU'.

'You're wrong. I wasn't the one who changed Vegeta. He chose to change. He overcame his past, even though it was so hard to do-'

Again the prince was laughing that incredibly disturbing laugh of his. 'Fool,' he cackled. 'Vegeta is weak on the inside, he could never change alone. He simply becomes what those around him at the time mold him into. There's no substance to him at all.'

'That's not true! Very few people have the strength to come out of what he has and still be a good person-'

The outstretched hand roughly colliding with her face silenced her.

'Nonsense!' he sneered angrily. 'I'm going to punish you for what you've done. When ever you unknowingly sensed me within Vegeta you called him crazy. You're going to learn that's it's you humans that are crazy, because you blindly believe that your goodness and kindness can change things for the better.' Again he slapped her, this time even harder, sending stars sparkling across her vision.

'This is what you get for getting involved with him, humiliation and death. And don't imagine for a moment that you or anyone you know will survive this. We'll have our sport, I'll give you the chance to escape with your daughter, but in the end I'll find you, just remember that. You and this entire planet will end very soon.'

Before Bulma could try to respond he slapped her again and spun her around, pushing her already swelling face into the door. The feeling of him tearing her nightgown in two made her heart sink, but no matter what happened, it was necessary to stay strong for Bra. Her baby had to stay safe, no matter the cost, no matter if it killed her. The imposter's body smothered hers, and even as his knee roughly forced her legs apart and his other hand ripped off her underwear, she couldn't help but realise how the body violating hers still felt and smelled so much like her husband's. It broke her heart to think she hadn't realised until now that this wasn't him, to think of all the uncharacteristic things this monster had done, all the false niceness that she'd been fooled by because deep down she'd wanted Vegeta to change, to be more human. The fact that she'd wanted that disgusted her now. He was and always had been fine just the way he was, and had done all he could manage to fit into the human way of life that was always so alien to him. Who was she to expect more, especially since she was supposed to be the only one besides Goku who accepted Vegeta for what he was? Perhaps she deserved this. If she'd realised sooner, if she'd only listened to her baby girl, listened to Goten, then it never would have got this far, and they could have done something to help Vegeta.

'After all the times you helped to protect my life, I couldn't protect yours,' she whispered mostly to herself, forcing back her tears in spite of the pain and the shame she felt over failing him. Vegeta would scoff at seeing her cry, if he were here.

'Muttering to yourself are you? And you people call me crazy.' Powerful arms encircled her neck and stomach to hold her in place, constricting and squeezing the life out of her. The suffocating pressure of his body and the forceful movements of his hips were also becoming unbearable, making her feel as though her frail body was collapsing from the inside out. It would be so easy for him to tear and break her like a doll, so easy that she could already feel it happening, but she wouldn't beg him to stop, wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

'Silent now?' he panted, his breath hot and moist over her ear. 'Well I can't have that.' For a moment he withdrew and pulled them both away from the door, only to ram her body back into it violently, shattering several of the bones that took the full impact in the process. A piercing shriek filled the house, and little footsteps could be heard frantically approaching the room. Soon enough Bra's terrified voice could be heard at the other side of the door, screaming for her mother. The prince began the laugh hysterically and continued to fuck her, more violently than before though she wouldn't have thought it possible. He seemed to be ignoring both the unnatural rise in pitch of Bra's hysterical screams and the sound of her kicking at the door, but Bulma could see the crack already forming in the fibers of the rich wood.

'You should be ashamed of yourself you filthy fucking whore, your daughter's listening!'

Bulma somehow managed to gulp in just enough breath to call to her daughter, even though she could barely breath from the pain and the constriction of her air supply. 'BRA NO! Run away, just run as fast as you can and get help! Don't stay here baby, mummy will be OK! RUN!'

'I don't think so,' the prince growled angrily, removing his hand from around her neck, pulling her head back by the hair and slamming it into the door. The last thing Bulma saw before everything went black was the door splintering in two with Bra's foot coming through the middle, and the thick blood dripping from her head wound onto the spotless polished floor.

*(Vegeta's POV)*

Either I'm still sinking, or I'm floating. One thing I know for certain is that the light has not yet returned. I feel the night tightly coiling around me like vines despite the fact my eyes are closed, but the stranger thing is the absence of the colours and visions that have plagued me for so long. The whole time I was remembering *it*, there were no impossible patterns on the walls, no hallucinations, no distortions, no livid colours, nothing. It's all gone now. With a great deal of effort I lift a hand to my neck, stroking the side weakly and finding the swelling where the chip was inserted has gone down. It's been removed, but what does that matter, if it only serves to show me that the things I'm seeing now are exactly as they were when they first happened, unaltered and true. A perplexing question which I'd rather ignore arises in the frayed mists of my mind, a black tendril of smoke that clouds everything else out. It asks me why I've been avoiding this for so long. There have always been hints, flashes of this memory and many others like it darting through my mind like mice scurrying across the kitchen floor into some secret hole, mice I'm forever running from. Just as a small child would.

Why? It wasn't the worst thing that was done to me. I've been surpassed in ability by a low class warrior of my own race, I've been tortured, even killed. So why run deny for years what I've known all along? For what reason...? The days of childhood are long since over and gone, so isn't it foolish to still be trying to escape them like this, to escape what no longer exists? It's the worst kind of cowardice, the way I hide from those things that I should already have overcome. And I call myself a saiyan. No wonder I'm stuck in this hell, here in the past again; it's because I never really left it behind in the first place. In my constant denial of it, in refusing to deal with it and put them it rest, I've kept the memories eternally breathing, alive and around me always, waiting in shadows until I drop my guard for just a second. Others have warned me about this, both Bulma and the doctor, back when all this started. I can still hear his words in my head, despite efforts to ignore them.

*Stirs things up? Like bad memories? Well I know a lot about memories, and I can tell you that you can try to make them disappear for months or years or decades, but you'll never succeed. The more you try to suppress them and run from them, the more they haunt you.*

It was the truth, what he said. So often has my own mind waged war against me with greater ferocity than any enemy I ever faced, insisting that I think of, believe and remember whatever it wishes to impose upon me. So perhaps it would be best if I, for once, stopped fighting. When I open my eyes, the shower head stares down at me again. Already I regret my decision, but I won't turn back now, won't ignore the sound of Jeice's voice pushing through the fog of my thoughts.

'C'mon V,' he urges me nervously. 'You gotta stop this now. Say something, please... What am I supposed to do when they come lookin for you, huh? They'll be wondering why you're just lying here not sayin nothing. Please? I didn't mean it. I didn't, I just... why did you have to fuckin get me so mad?! You always do it, you always go and get people angry! I'm sorry, I won't yell anymore OK? You're alright... you ain't hurt that bad, just a few bruised ribs, maybe pulled a muscle down here,' he rubs my pelvis for emphasis. 'Nothin serious... you can get up can't you?'

I wonder, why I was coughing up so much blood before? Being punched couldn't have injured me so badly, could it? I stare down at my stomach. That's right, there's still a bullet wound there. That's why I'm so damaged... all these wounds, but he can't see them, he can only see the damage he inflicted, all those years ago. But what does it matter? The physical damage is inconsequential, it's the damage no one can see that never leaves, still fresh and bleeding long after the wounds have closed up and the bruises have disappeared.

'Maybe we'll take you to your doctor, ey? That lizard fella... you like him, don't ya? Would that make you feel better?'

Jeice is talking to me like I'm a baby now. I ought to say something back, anything to shut him up, but my mouth won't work. I feel sick and don't want to go anywhere. Even under the stream of warm water, I'm shaking. Don't want to go anywhere ever again. This is the last straw, the thing that will send everything spinning out of control, but I could never hate him for it, not for very long anyway. I recall hating everyone else a lot more, all the others. The others. They must have heard him shouting at me, must have heard him hit me, through the walls. They must have heard me crying, though I tried to be quiet, would have heard the sounds he was making, heard me screaming into his hand while he fucked me, but they didn't come. They didn't help me.

He lifts me up into a standing position, and my insides protest violently. It hurts. This young body is so unaccustomed to pain. My head starts to spin as I'm pulled along, desperately trying to put one foot in front of the other. If only I was home, back on my own planet, with my father. Why can't I just go home? Why do they all keep telling me lies, why do they keep saying that my people are dead and my planet is gone? Even Radditz and Nappa say so. Lies. They're lying, everyone is lying to me and I hate them all. The more I think the more upset I become, and the more my head spins. There's a really funny feeling in my stomach, and my mouth is filling with saliva. Jeice looks at me with worry, somehow knowing something is wrong. He pulls me over to the toilet and pushes my head over the bowl. When I throw up, my ribs and abdomen scream at me in pain and hot tears sting my eyes.

'Fuck,' he whispers. 'You gotta calm down V, you're making yourself sick. Maybe if you just get into bed, an I'll go get him, bring im here. That's what I'll do,' he says in a harried voice, practically carrying me to the bed and tucking me into it, then finally leaving the room. Not long after, he returns with my doctor who leans down beside me. Things are starting to feel very fuzzy. I feel him poke and prod at my chest, my ribs and my pelvis, but when he goes to draw the covers away from my lower half, I grab his hand.

'Vegeta,' he says gently. He always had a soothing voice, but I can't even remember his name anymore. 'Let me take a look.'

'It's alright,' Jeice interjects. 'He didn't, uh, hurt nothin down there. You know, his legs. They're all fine.'

'Sir,' the doctor addresses him. 'Would you be so kind as to retrieve some pain medication from the med lab for me? I think that should be all he needs. His shoulder is dislocated, and there's a few broken ribs. Looks like he has a sprained pelvis too. It's the pelvis that I'm most worried about, it will all heal naturally but he'll need to keep off his feet for a little while. It'll be very uncomfortable for the next few weeks. Just bring whatever you can find, I'll figure out the details when you get back.'

The doctor's request is heeded, and once he's sure Jeice is a fair way down the hall he looks back at me and begins to speak again in a hushed tone.

'Vegeta,' he says my name again, and the sound of it makes me want to disappear into the floor. 'Did he do this to you?'

I don't answer.

'It's alright, you can tell me. He isn't here.'

'No,' I say firmly, though my voice waivers a bit.

'You don't have to protect him. If you just tell me, then I'll let your superiors know what happened, and he won't-'

He stops short when I reach out and place my hand on his chest. I'm not normally like this, wouldn't normally grab hold of his shirt and cling to him in such a pathetic manner, but it provides just that little bit of comfort, just enough to distract from the foreboding feeling that some small but fundamental thing has changed, that I'm not quite myself anymore.

'No,' I insist as my voice falls low again and I try to keep it steady, to make the stupid lump in my throat go away. 'He didn't. He wouldn't... he's my friend.'

All he does is sigh and give me a very sad look that I can't understand, at least I couldn't back then. I close my eyes to the memory, having had enough. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's pity. A very long time seems to pass by before I open my eyes again, not to the memory but to a dark, cold room that seems to stretch on for eternity. My mind is empty, thoughtless. Perhaps this is the true appearance of this dream world once all the thoughts that usually give it shape have left the mind, just an abandoned room. Or perhaps this is what my mind is when I have no thoughts to fill it with, but that doesn't really make sense, because my mind is just my brain, and my brain is just a mass of nerves. If anything that one imagines in this place becomes reality, then I could destroy myself and put an end to it. Just imagining that I've done it will make it so. While it may be possible to create anything here, it isn't possible to escape, so what's the point in continuing to exist? Once I'm no longer sleeping I won't even be able to control what happens anymore, because that freak Lennon will take over again and the cycle of reliving these cursed memories could go on for an eternity. The place where I'm held captive may not even be visible to human eyes, and with my energy signal as heavily supressed as it is, no one will be able to locate my power level, so the only escape is death. Again I go to close my eyes, wondering how to go about a, only to find that Trunks and Bulma come to mind, which of course causes them to take on physical forms. Trunks just rolls his eyes at me, as he always does when I've done something stupid that I'm not aware of, while Bulma's has her arms crossed and that grumpy look on her face that I know so well. She begins to scold me, just the way I imagine she would in this situation.

'Don't even think about it Mr! You've already blown yourself to bits once before, and if it didn't work the first time, how do you think it's going to go the second time? Did you know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting to get different results?' She smiles at me triumphantly, the way she always does when she thinks she's right.

'Leave me alone,' I say, feeling frustrated that I'm talking to beings that are essentially a figment of my imagination. 'You aren't the woman I know. Don't try to get in my way, I haven't much time left.'

'So this is good bye then? Just like that?' Trunks cuts in and asks me in a disappointed and annoyed tone, like his mother's just told him he's grounded for drinking too much at some friend or other's party.

'I'm sorry... but this is the only way now. I know you'll take good care of them, your mother and your sister. I've always trusted you with that. You know I've always been proud of you, that's never changed, no matter how much you drive me nuts at times. I'm sorry that I can't return, but you all have to understand that this is for the best. I know you can get along fine without me, perhaps better...' I turn back, hoping to find the phantoms gone. Looking at their faces only makes this that much more difficult. Trunks has disappeared, but Bulma remains, staring at me somberly now. I can't help but smile, she just doesn't give up. Before she can say a word, I stop her.

'All you ever wanted was for me to open up to you. You humans just have to know everything about each other don't you? I don't know why that is, but I suppose it wasn't much to ask for... and I'm sorry that I couldn't give you what you wanted. There you go, I finally admitted you were right. Hopefully that makes up for everything that's happened. I hope to see you again in the next life.'

When I'm finished speaking and feeling able to focus enough to carry out the task at hand, I see my daughter standing in front of me, and my body grows cold. There are tears in her eyes, and all the colour has drained from her little face.

'Help me daddy...' she pleads, staring at me with fierce intensity. For a moment she looks far older than her four years. If I don't shut my eyes now, this will be impossible. My energy begins to swell around me, what little I have left anyway. This will all be over soon.

'I'm sorry Bra. You know I'd never leave you, if I had the choice. I'll always... love you.'

'Don't go, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die!'

The sound is deafening, and the destructive force of the energy is already taking its toll on my weakened body, but over everything, I hear her.

'What...?' I whisper, but then I'm distracted by another voice.

'Vegeta stop! What are you doing?! You're going to destroy everything, you'll kill yourself!'

For a moment my energy begins to dissipate as I search frantically for the source of the voice. Somewhere behind me, far off in the left corner of the room, I catch sight of someone I never would have expected to be the last person who'd flash past my eyes at the moment of death.

'Strange,' I call out to him. 'I never thought you'd be the last person I thought of Goten. Your father perhaps, but not you. Kakarott's the one who normally haunts me at moments like these. Go away boy, leave me be. I know you're not real.'

'No, you're wrong! This isn't a dream, I'm real! Well, I'm sought of real, but I really am here! I know what this place is, he told me all about it! You've gotta listen to me Vegeta!'

'No... I won't talk myself out of this with these foolish apparitions! Now leave me alone!'

Again I focus all my concentration on gathering energy, ignoring Goten's pleas and shouts. He's saying something about everybody being danger, about dying, begging me to help him just like my daughter did. The room begins to dissolve from the centre outwards as my energy steadily grows, forming a vortex which sucks the remains of the room into it. Everything is falling away. Something at the centre of the vortex shimmers brilliantly, and I stare at it mesmerised until I notice the source. Bra is still standing there on the verge of being sucked into the vortex, staring up at me silently. The source of the shimmering is her tears, floating from her eyes and disappearing into the widening void.

I hesitate.

***

...These days are numbered, This close encounter

To the heartland, through the madness

Oh, If my shame spills our worth across this floor

Then tonight, goodnight, I'm burning Star IV

Only, I don't even think of you

No, I don't wanna think of you anymore

Goodnight, tonight, goodbye

Goodnight, tonight, goodbye...

***

NEXT CHAPTER: Will Bra escape, and does Bulma have any chance left for survival? Goten has entered the rift, only to find that Vegeta and himself are about to be either destroyed or trapped. Trunks finally realises what's going on, but something might stop him from coming to his family's aid.
- 11
- 12
- 13
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Hope Leaves