Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

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By : TristaML
Category: Missing Data > Missing Data
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Chapter List
- 12
- 13
- 14
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Chapter 13 (VP) Perspective:
I’m awake but I have yet to open my eyes. I have too much to consider before attempting another day in my life and my body is tired with a weariness I’m not used to feeling. My reality has morphed into something almost morbidly disturbing. Kakarot’s become a monster and, I feel I have to admit something, even if it’s just to myself:
I don’t even care.
He destroyed everyone’s life who he’s claimed to care for and… He’s changed me once again. Isn’t that so? Do I have to admit it? At least to myself.
Yes, I don’t fucking care. Why should I?
I am too deep in my feelings. The fact that I even have feelings is laughable at this very moment. Who would have thought? I’m still cold, but am I heartless?
Deep down I know that I am, aren’t I?
I must be to have allowed all of this to happen and done nothing to stop it. Now I can do nothing to change it.
My ultimate defense mechanism has always been adaptability. So, here and now, I find myself in great need of a new perspective.
What time is it? Oh, fuck, who cares what time it is… I can’t even open my eyes should I wish it, I feel so drained. My very breath seems borrowed.
Where am I? How long have I been out? I smell grass and water, dirt and trees. I can sense the sunshine from beyond my closed lids, and hear the birds chirping in the background of the softly running water.
Have I been sleeping this whole time… and how long has it been? I can’t believe I was sedated by that genius fucking bastard thanks to the clever but thoughtless acts of my wife.
I finally manage to open my eyes and realize that I am, indeed, outside. I sit up onto my elbow, with some effort, and hide my eyes from the sun. It’s hot and I feel queasy, but I fight the urge to throw up.
Kakarot.
I let my upper half fall back to the ground. There’s no point in getting riled up right now.
He is nowhere to be found, but I notice as I look around that he has set up camp here. A small fire is over to the right, and there are a few remains of the last meal that he had. I turn my head to the left as I lay in the grass to look over at the lake.
Is this… where we went swimming that day? It seems like so long ago now… But… He brought me here. I’m tempted to lift my head again, but I just don’t feel like it. My mind drifts to other things; to everything.
Where is Bulma? And my son? I thought I heard Trunks’ voice last night, but… I couldn’t have. He wouldn’t be so stupid.
Kakarot brought me with him… Why? And why did he bring me here?
Those things that I said… I said them all in desperation, but they were the truth.
Damn.
Knowing that I will live forever has slowly been affecting me in a strange mental and emotional way that I did not foresee happening. I really fucked up this time in telling him all of that. Did he believe me? Does it matter? I wasn’t lying, because I have no reason to, but he doesn’t know that.
I guess I confessed my feelings because… He’s not the same man, so it wasn’t so awkward, but I still feel the same.
What sense does that make?!
Have I been using my previous emotions as an excuse for his actions this whole time? Have I been going along with whatever he wants just because I wanted the opportunity to explore life with him, no matter how I got the chance? Or is it something else?
For the first time since he’s been reborn, like a slap to the face, I find myself fully considering his true situation.
He isn’t the same person. Yet, I believe him to be… very much… a version of himself.
He can’t be so far from the same man.
Have I lost my fucking mind?
This whole time I’ve been assuming so much about him, trying to pursue him, and at the same time plotting against him… Is that truly the case, though? Have I not been equally as cruel? I cannot blame him, whoever he is, for the actions I have taken in all of this…
I need a break. I need a minute to myself!
I’ve never wished for normalcy so much in my life, and yet, been so far from it.
What am I talking about? Nothing about my life has ever been normal, save for having a lover and a son and a home, but even that I longed to run away from… Not because I don’t care for them, but because it’s not… satisfactory.
And what of this beast that has been created?
Why would I claim to love someone I technically don’t know?
I really don’t know this new Saiyan, do I?
My head hurts, I’m groggy, and all this deep consideration isn’t helping. Unfortunately, I don’t think that it’s only because of that damn tranquilizer I was given courtesy of my dearest, Bulma. Damn it.
Damn him for what he’s done, yet, I cannot simply forgive myself just because I feel as though I am living, now more than ever, through his inconsiderate efforts at a new life for himself.
Why live out some sort of distorted fantasy in such an unconstructive way? Why have I been so… easygoing about his distasteful appetites? Perhaps Piccolo had a point, and I’ve been getting off on all this mayhem, in a way.
Have I been enjoying this?
Have I egged this all on?
I certainly haven’t stopped it. I haven’t even so much as threatened a punishment in response to his heinous actions.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Kakarot appears before me, “Good.” He tosses some fish beside the firepit he built without really thinking. His words were laced and sour.
I don’t have time to consider a reply. I am instantly put off by his attitude, which doesn’t seem too… like him…
There is a hole in my logic. I need to reassess everything!
“So, how are you feeling? You slept hard. Very unlike you,” Kakarot asks me nonchalantly, a little too casually, in fact, as though he’s trying to change his poor demeanor to satiate me. Not like me? He doesn’t even know me. Is he mocking me?
Forcing myself onto my elbows once again, I do my best to turn and watch him and pretend that it isn’t taking a lot of energy out of me to do so, while I grunt and reply sarcastically, “Well, it seems I was drugged last night, Kakarot. A needle was involved.”
At the word I can see him stop for 1/1000 of a second, but he continues on with his simple deed, prepping the fish and starting the fire.
I ask him, curious suddenly, “How is it that you can remember how to do things, but not how you remembered learning them?”
It’s his turn to snort, and he answers, “I guess it’s just like fucking, you just know how to do it.”
I chuckle, catching the not-so-subtle correlation to our conversation last night, but I still sense some disdain in his comment.
He smirks and turns to me when I laugh, then he looks back at his task and asks, “What’s your point?”
At this moment in time I begin sitting up all the way, hiding my queasiness to the best of my abilities, and answer, “I’ve been trying to understand what you’re going through.”
Then the darkness in his demeanor returns and his response is anything but casual as he explains, “I’m not going through anything,” he throws some fish on the fire, continuing, “I’m just… a Saiyan, living my life.”
‘Denial,’ I think to myself. I ponder his words, though, for a few moments before I pry a little bit more, wondering, “So, you don’t have a problem with having a huge chunk of your memories missing? Nor the fact that you truly know nothing about yourself other than what you’ve discovered so far?”
The look on his face is anything but normal, I can see a depth in his eyes even as they are focused on the fire before him. I’m beginning to sense that there is something that he is upset about, but that he’s trying to hide from me.
He declares, “I have enough memories now, thanks to Gohan, to gauge a little bit of my past. And as for ‘discovering myself,’” he pauses, and looks back at me, over his shoulder, from under his bangs, “I think that people of intelligence are constantly ‘discovering’ little bits about themselves, and others, every day,” he turns back to his chore, “Life is in the day you’re living, not in the past.”
Wow.
This is the exact reason I both hate and love him.
He’s capable of such deep thought, yet his philosophies are so simple, even I can be roused by him, and I am anything but simple…
But, he’s not him! Regardless if that remark was very much like him.
“So!” he begins again, “What’s the plan?”
I hesitate to answer, and somehow, I know that he does not like it. I huff and reply, honestly, “Kakarot… my plans are… yours. But, more to the point, I would rather we move away from this place. I would like to go off planet. I thought I was clear about that.”
“Anywhere you have in mind?” he asks briskly.
There is something he isn’t telling me. “No,” I reply and finally sit up and cross my legs. “My only intention is not to return.”
“Why not?” he asks with a stale tone.
“Hn,” I smirk. I’m obligated to revisit the original topic of conversation we had at this very spot only a few days prior. “When you came to me… telling me you intended to leave… I don’t think you meant for a vacation, otherwise, why would you have come to me at all? What difference does it make if we leave now, together?”
He continues to cook the meal he prepared silently.
“Kakarot,” I whisper. I feel the need to throw this out there, after all, I spilled my feelings out to him last night, what harm would it do in telling him my thoughts, now? I admit, “I wish I knew what you were going to say to me, before all of this. Or if there was anything other than a simple good-bye that you had in mind.”
“Well!” he huffs, and I can tell he isn’t impressed as he answers, “I can’t say that there was or wasn’t. I wish I knew, too, then we could move on with our lives in peace. But…”
I watch closely, waiting for the next part of his speech.
He stops what he’s doing, his shoulders trembling slightly, and he says, “I don’t know, and I don’t trust you.”
I roll my eyes, regardless that he isn’t even looking to see it. He’s acting so childishly. I growl, “So you still don’t trust me, hm? You don’t believe anything that I’ve told you?” I’m exasperated at this point.
“No,” he remarks and turns to look at me. He tosses the rest of the fish in the fire before standing to his full height, flaring his energy for a moment to clean himself, and then he begins walking towards me.
I’m too tired to be affronting towards him right now, but I glare as he approaches nonetheless.
His eyes both soften and narrow as he kneels down beside me. He asks, “You must be exhausted? I bet you couldn’t fight me if you wanted to right now, could you?”
“Try me,” I bluff, locking eyes with him.
He smirks and chuckles, “Do you remember anything that happened last night?”
“I remember all of it,” I growl again.
“I don’t think you do,” He says confidently, “Do you remember Trunks stopping by?”
Alarm grows in my mind, but I try my best to keep it from showing on my face.
“I know you don’t, because you were out cold,” he says. He sits in front of me, mirroring my position, but leaning forward, staring into my eyes. He explains, “Trunks told me something rather interesting. I don’t know which one of you to believe, or if I should be believing anyone. Would you like to know what he said? Or would you like to tell me everything you know.”
He’s testing me, but I don’t know what the fucking questions are on the quiz. What could Trunks have told him? Whatever it was, it’s caused Kakarot’s distrust of me to resurface, and I have little hope of gaining it again. Here I thought getting into a relationship with him would be difficult before! Man was I ever wrong! Why am I thinking about that?
“Well?” he smirks.
This is what he’s so upset about. He knows something that he thinks I know, too. Gohan and Piccolo, maybe? But why isn’t he going after them?
I reply, unsure of myself, “I can’t imagine the things he might have told you, whether they were true or not, or whether they were an attempt to shatter your confidence. I expressly told him to stay away.”
The smile falls from his face and he responds, “I have no doubt that you did. But he didn’t listen to you, and now you will have to answer to me.”
I smirk, “Go ahead and ask, then,” I reply, ignoring the fact that he probably meant that as for more of a physical altercation than a verbal one.
As I stare into his eyes, Kakarot looks so pensive, it’s kind of strange to see him like this. He’s hesitating to confront me. Does he think I’m trying to manipulate him? I am, aren’t I?
He tells me, “I am caught between how I want to handle this situation… What to do, first.”
“Sounds like a personal problem,” I remark.
“Yes,” he nods, “for you and me, both.”
This conversation is unnerving and quickly getting old. I suddenly tell him, “If there’s something you want to discuss then tell me, damn it! I don’t know what he told you, and so I can’t answer your questions if you don’t ask them yourself!”
“There’s no need to get angry,” he smiles. “I’m getting there. I’m just trying to gauge your emotions in all of this. What’s true and what isn’t. What’s real… and what’s fake.”
“I’ve never been anything but honest with you! I may not have always been one hundred percent forthcoming, but I have never lied to you,” I growl, “It’s not in my nature to do so, there would be no point in it.”
“Then tell me why you want to leave?” he asks again.
“Kakarot!” I muse, growing tired of his games, “We don’t have a place here! If we did before we’ve certainly lost that now!”
He shakes his head and says, “No, we don’t. But I’m still going to destroy this planet. And you’re going to watch.”
This again…
He stands up now, glaring down at me as he bursts forth with what’s really been bothering him, “Trunks told me you have a plan to stop me! I thought long and hard about his words, Vegeta. Then, when I knew you weren’t going to wake up, and that he was of no more use to me, I went looking for Gohan and Piccolo in the dead of the night! Guess what?! I couldn’t find either one of them! Do you know where they are?!”
I can’t help when my eyes widen as he survey’s me.
His face turns into a mask of anger and betrayal, and he yells, “You do! I knew you did! Which means that Trunks was right, or at least somewhat,” his sentence tapers off.
I stand quickly, fighting off the nausea, and rebuttal, “What the fuck does this have anything to do with us?” My head begins to spin but I concentrate on him, not wanting to show my weakness, but my anger is bridling as I add, “I did not know that they left until after you went after Bulma!”
He sneers, “Even so, your plans for me wholly differ from what you have been telling me. I doubt that if you had been completely sober you would have told me, anyways, so don’t play those games.”
“Who’s playing games?!” I cry, “You are! You have been this whole time!”
“And you haven’t?!” he growls, “You don’t give a fuck about me! I don’t think that you ever did, to be honest!”
I don’t understand what’s going on! We’re fighting like an old familiar couple! What in the hell is he so upset about? Where is this coming from? He’s supposed to not care about anything, but from where I stand, all he cares about is having some sort of… fight.
Oh.
He rants, “From what I understand- you HATED me!”
He’s… just a Saiyan…
“Old me, new me, all of me! You were JEALOUS of my power! I am stronger than you and better than you! And maybe- MAYBE- I had feelings for you!”
He needs me, as a fellow Saiyan, to acknowledge him for who he is.
“But you didn’t! You didn’t want to see me leave! You wanted to keep me here! You don’t want me to do what I want to do! You want to destroy me in any way you can! And you’re a patient man for waiting so long! Buying your time!”
I half-laugh in mildly shocked and sedated amusement, simply retorting, “Shows how much you know me, if you think I’m patient,” I snort and cross my arms, unimpressed and still trying to figure out exactly what to say to regain the upper hand here.
What upper hand? We’re thoroughly fucked. Unless…
His eyes shake as he looks from one to the other of my own, and he adds, his voice growing deeper, “I hate to ruin your plans, but I’ll be going away by myself! You see, I don’t need your stupid ship, or your food! And I certainly don’t need YOU! It took me some time, but I have found them! Gohan and Piccolo! They’re very clever, aren’t they?! Going off planet to New Namek!”
Damn him!
“Ah! You’re wondering how I found out! I can be resourceful, too, you know! I used that technique Gohan showed me and crept into Trunks’ room last night and I read his mind! That’s what I meant when I said I got all I needed out of him. Now I know exactly when they’re going to arrive and, lucky for me, all I have to do is Instant Transmission and just like that, I’ll be there to ruin their good time!
Does he really think I’m just going to let him leave? My mind is racing through my slim options as he rambles.
“These dragonballs they think they’re going to stop me with will ultimately be their undoing!”
“Tch...” I growl, and retort, “They are fools if they believe the Dragonballs can stop you. Piccolo already tried that, didn’t he?!”
“And you didn’t?!” he yells again.
Actually, no.
He glares at me while asking, almost sarcastically, “I just have one more question for you, Vegeta! What did you wish for that day?!”
He already knows, doesn’t he? It’s why he didn’t try to fight me. It’s why he’s allowing me to know what his plans are. He knows he cannot kill me.
“You don’t want to share in your secrets? Hmm?” He smirks. “Well, there will be two invincible Saiyans running around the universe soon enough!”
I stand tall before him, now, smelling the fish cooking on the fire to our sides, and I find myself strangely calm considering my circumstances.
We are at a stalemate.
I should just kill him now and be done with it. Maybe I can make him bend to my will for once. Or…
Then he says, “Gohan was right about you, you are very cunning. You would do whatever it took to win a fight. That’s why you were so confident yesterday.”
I smirk, but my response is not in kind. I ask him, “I wonder, since you’ve read my mind, what else did you search for? Or did you only seek out the information most convenient to your situation?”
“What do you mean?!” he growls.
I daresay I have nothing left to lose, so I take a step closer, and confide in him, “If you had taken the time to find out everything there is to know about our circumstances you would know how I really feel. Whatever Trunks said to you about me could have turned any doubt and made it fall to the wayside if you cared to delve a little further when you had the chance. Then, you would know that I’ve been questioning my innocence in all of this foul play. And, moreover, you would know that there is nothing we can do to stop Gohan and Piccolo from getting their wish. Whatever wish that may be.”
He frowns, “Perhaps, and yet I’m not so sure. Explain.”
I smirk, “Well, for starters, I am immortal. I could have finished you long ago if I wanted to. I could have stepped in at any time and stopped you, but I didn’t.”
“I’m flattered,” he huffs.
“Besides,” I bark, “When Trunks told me yesterday about the plans that Gohan and Piccolo conjured up it got me thinking... They kept me out of their little circle, too, you know, so I wouldn’t be so offended.” Kakarot stops frowning, listening intently, waiting impatiently for me to continue. I smirk, and finally tell him, “But I know something else that you don’t know.
“What’s that?” Kakarot asks, annoyed, and yet I can tell that his curiosity is piqued.
“The Dragon on Namek only speaks Namekian. You need a Namekian to grant your wish there,” I laugh as his eyes widen, and then I add, “It sucks not being able to remember everything doesn’t it? If you had your memories, or if you had been more patient about sifting through ours, you would have found that knowledge out all on your own.”
“You’re lying!”
“Am I? Would you like to come have a look for yourself?”
He grits his teeth as he stares me down.
I chuckle, “Actually, Kakarot, I believe I have a better idea. Why don’t you just take us both to Namek? Why wait for them? We can gather the dragonballs. Bulma has a radar that will make it easy to find them, and if they’re keeping them like they used to, there are 7 major cities that will already have them ready for us. I’ve done this before. Then we can talk some poor fool into summoning the beast for us and even granting your wish. In fact, if you play your cards right, they will believe every word that you say. They love you there, or do you not remember?”
“Shut up!” He cries, but he is considering my words.
I have to bluff my way out of this. I have to make him believe that… I don’t know anymore. I turn from him and say, as I slowly walk towards the fire, “I’m going to eat some of this fish you’ve burned over here. I’ll let you think about it. It would be nice if you’d join me for the meal you provided in the meantime.”
“Vegeta!” he yells, his mind in tumult, but I do not heed him.
It takes everything in my strength just to walk a straight line and bend down by the fire. I take one of the large fish out of the flames, sit down, and immediately begin eating.
He’s heading towards me now, watching closely.
“You wouldn’t lie, now, would you, after everything?” he asks as he comes ever close.
“I never lied to you in the first place,” I manage in between bites.
“But you withheld information from me,” he growls.
“Of course, I did,” I confess, “Your behavior has been reckless. I have had to take precautions that you obviously don’t agree with.”
“So,” he bends down beside me, staring at me as I eat, and says, “Why haven’t you stopped me in the least, if you’re so afraid of me? Why are you trying to help me?”
I swallow a mouthful before answering snidely, “I wouldn’t call it being afraid so much as treading through unfamiliar territory. And, no, I haven’t tried to stop you, have I? I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the Saiyan in me that’s been waiting for the Saiyan in you this whole time.”
“What if he never came?” he asks, and then changes the way the sentence was worded, “What if I never surfaced?”
“But you did, and now that we’re here, and the things that are done have passed, we have to decide what our next course of action will be,” I explain, finally acknowledging the truth of our circumstances. I find myself adding, “You know I wouldn’t have been so angry with you that day… or even at all, if I knew what you wanted from me in the first place, coming to me like that… without rhyme or reason, without… even so much as a second option to give to me, considering your intentions.”
He looks solemn and remains quiet while I eat for some time. I’ve never seen him ignore food that was right in front of him. I’ve never seen him unsure of himself like this before. Is he questioning his own logic for once?
“You never answered my question,” he finally mumbles, sitting down beside me.
“Which one, Kakarot, you’ve been hammering me for information ever since I woke up?!” I groan, thoroughly annoyed and exhausted, although I can feel some of my strength returning as I eat. I am grateful for that much.
“Why are you trying to help me?” he asks again, this time with more of a sweetness in his voice than I’ve heard all day.
I look him in the eyes and answer, “I’ve been… feeling differently ever since you woke up like this. And ever since I was granted immortality, I realized that even if you and I made it work, eventually I would have to let you go. It might as well be that we both get our wish, at least then, no matter what, we’ll never have to go this universe alone again.”
He smiles, and I’m so… serene.
This is what I want, isn’t it? I want this chaos in my life again… I want the freedom again. The rush. The thrill!
What difference will it make when everyone who wishes to judge us will soon be gone forever?
Chapter 13 (VP) Perspective:
I’m awake but I have yet to open my eyes. I have too much to consider before attempting another day in my life and my body is tired with a weariness I’m not used to feeling. My reality has morphed into something almost morbidly disturbing. Kakarot’s become a monster and, I feel I have to admit something, even if it’s just to myself:
I don’t even care.
He destroyed everyone’s life who he’s claimed to care for and… He’s changed me once again. Isn’t that so? Do I have to admit it? At least to myself.
Yes, I don’t fucking care. Why should I?
I am too deep in my feelings. The fact that I even have feelings is laughable at this very moment. Who would have thought? I’m still cold, but am I heartless?
Deep down I know that I am, aren’t I?
I must be to have allowed all of this to happen and done nothing to stop it. Now I can do nothing to change it.
My ultimate defense mechanism has always been adaptability. So, here and now, I find myself in great need of a new perspective.
What time is it? Oh, fuck, who cares what time it is… I can’t even open my eyes should I wish it, I feel so drained. My very breath seems borrowed.
Where am I? How long have I been out? I smell grass and water, dirt and trees. I can sense the sunshine from beyond my closed lids, and hear the birds chirping in the background of the softly running water.
Have I been sleeping this whole time… and how long has it been? I can’t believe I was sedated by that genius fucking bastard thanks to the clever but thoughtless acts of my wife.
I finally manage to open my eyes and realize that I am, indeed, outside. I sit up onto my elbow, with some effort, and hide my eyes from the sun. It’s hot and I feel queasy, but I fight the urge to throw up.
Kakarot.
I let my upper half fall back to the ground. There’s no point in getting riled up right now.
He is nowhere to be found, but I notice as I look around that he has set up camp here. A small fire is over to the right, and there are a few remains of the last meal that he had. I turn my head to the left as I lay in the grass to look over at the lake.
Is this… where we went swimming that day? It seems like so long ago now… But… He brought me here. I’m tempted to lift my head again, but I just don’t feel like it. My mind drifts to other things; to everything.
Where is Bulma? And my son? I thought I heard Trunks’ voice last night, but… I couldn’t have. He wouldn’t be so stupid.
Kakarot brought me with him… Why? And why did he bring me here?
Those things that I said… I said them all in desperation, but they were the truth.
Damn.
Knowing that I will live forever has slowly been affecting me in a strange mental and emotional way that I did not foresee happening. I really fucked up this time in telling him all of that. Did he believe me? Does it matter? I wasn’t lying, because I have no reason to, but he doesn’t know that.
I guess I confessed my feelings because… He’s not the same man, so it wasn’t so awkward, but I still feel the same.
What sense does that make?!
Have I been using my previous emotions as an excuse for his actions this whole time? Have I been going along with whatever he wants just because I wanted the opportunity to explore life with him, no matter how I got the chance? Or is it something else?
For the first time since he’s been reborn, like a slap to the face, I find myself fully considering his true situation.
He isn’t the same person. Yet, I believe him to be… very much… a version of himself.
He can’t be so far from the same man.
Have I lost my fucking mind?
This whole time I’ve been assuming so much about him, trying to pursue him, and at the same time plotting against him… Is that truly the case, though? Have I not been equally as cruel? I cannot blame him, whoever he is, for the actions I have taken in all of this…
I need a break. I need a minute to myself!
I’ve never wished for normalcy so much in my life, and yet, been so far from it.
What am I talking about? Nothing about my life has ever been normal, save for having a lover and a son and a home, but even that I longed to run away from… Not because I don’t care for them, but because it’s not… satisfactory.
And what of this beast that has been created?
Why would I claim to love someone I technically don’t know?
I really don’t know this new Saiyan, do I?
My head hurts, I’m groggy, and all this deep consideration isn’t helping. Unfortunately, I don’t think that it’s only because of that damn tranquilizer I was given courtesy of my dearest, Bulma. Damn it.
Damn him for what he’s done, yet, I cannot simply forgive myself just because I feel as though I am living, now more than ever, through his inconsiderate efforts at a new life for himself.
Why live out some sort of distorted fantasy in such an unconstructive way? Why have I been so… easygoing about his distasteful appetites? Perhaps Piccolo had a point, and I’ve been getting off on all this mayhem, in a way.
Have I been enjoying this?
Have I egged this all on?
I certainly haven’t stopped it. I haven’t even so much as threatened a punishment in response to his heinous actions.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Kakarot appears before me, “Good.” He tosses some fish beside the firepit he built without really thinking. His words were laced and sour.
I don’t have time to consider a reply. I am instantly put off by his attitude, which doesn’t seem too… like him…
There is a hole in my logic. I need to reassess everything!
“So, how are you feeling? You slept hard. Very unlike you,” Kakarot asks me nonchalantly, a little too casually, in fact, as though he’s trying to change his poor demeanor to satiate me. Not like me? He doesn’t even know me. Is he mocking me?
Forcing myself onto my elbows once again, I do my best to turn and watch him and pretend that it isn’t taking a lot of energy out of me to do so, while I grunt and reply sarcastically, “Well, it seems I was drugged last night, Kakarot. A needle was involved.”
At the word I can see him stop for 1/1000 of a second, but he continues on with his simple deed, prepping the fish and starting the fire.
I ask him, curious suddenly, “How is it that you can remember how to do things, but not how you remembered learning them?”
It’s his turn to snort, and he answers, “I guess it’s just like fucking, you just know how to do it.”
I chuckle, catching the not-so-subtle correlation to our conversation last night, but I still sense some disdain in his comment.
He smirks and turns to me when I laugh, then he looks back at his task and asks, “What’s your point?”
At this moment in time I begin sitting up all the way, hiding my queasiness to the best of my abilities, and answer, “I’ve been trying to understand what you’re going through.”
Then the darkness in his demeanor returns and his response is anything but casual as he explains, “I’m not going through anything,” he throws some fish on the fire, continuing, “I’m just… a Saiyan, living my life.”
‘Denial,’ I think to myself. I ponder his words, though, for a few moments before I pry a little bit more, wondering, “So, you don’t have a problem with having a huge chunk of your memories missing? Nor the fact that you truly know nothing about yourself other than what you’ve discovered so far?”
The look on his face is anything but normal, I can see a depth in his eyes even as they are focused on the fire before him. I’m beginning to sense that there is something that he is upset about, but that he’s trying to hide from me.
He declares, “I have enough memories now, thanks to Gohan, to gauge a little bit of my past. And as for ‘discovering myself,’” he pauses, and looks back at me, over his shoulder, from under his bangs, “I think that people of intelligence are constantly ‘discovering’ little bits about themselves, and others, every day,” he turns back to his chore, “Life is in the day you’re living, not in the past.”
Wow.
This is the exact reason I both hate and love him.
He’s capable of such deep thought, yet his philosophies are so simple, even I can be roused by him, and I am anything but simple…
But, he’s not him! Regardless if that remark was very much like him.
“So!” he begins again, “What’s the plan?”
I hesitate to answer, and somehow, I know that he does not like it. I huff and reply, honestly, “Kakarot… my plans are… yours. But, more to the point, I would rather we move away from this place. I would like to go off planet. I thought I was clear about that.”
“Anywhere you have in mind?” he asks briskly.
There is something he isn’t telling me. “No,” I reply and finally sit up and cross my legs. “My only intention is not to return.”
“Why not?” he asks with a stale tone.
“Hn,” I smirk. I’m obligated to revisit the original topic of conversation we had at this very spot only a few days prior. “When you came to me… telling me you intended to leave… I don’t think you meant for a vacation, otherwise, why would you have come to me at all? What difference does it make if we leave now, together?”
He continues to cook the meal he prepared silently.
“Kakarot,” I whisper. I feel the need to throw this out there, after all, I spilled my feelings out to him last night, what harm would it do in telling him my thoughts, now? I admit, “I wish I knew what you were going to say to me, before all of this. Or if there was anything other than a simple good-bye that you had in mind.”
“Well!” he huffs, and I can tell he isn’t impressed as he answers, “I can’t say that there was or wasn’t. I wish I knew, too, then we could move on with our lives in peace. But…”
I watch closely, waiting for the next part of his speech.
He stops what he’s doing, his shoulders trembling slightly, and he says, “I don’t know, and I don’t trust you.”
I roll my eyes, regardless that he isn’t even looking to see it. He’s acting so childishly. I growl, “So you still don’t trust me, hm? You don’t believe anything that I’ve told you?” I’m exasperated at this point.
“No,” he remarks and turns to look at me. He tosses the rest of the fish in the fire before standing to his full height, flaring his energy for a moment to clean himself, and then he begins walking towards me.
I’m too tired to be affronting towards him right now, but I glare as he approaches nonetheless.
His eyes both soften and narrow as he kneels down beside me. He asks, “You must be exhausted? I bet you couldn’t fight me if you wanted to right now, could you?”
“Try me,” I bluff, locking eyes with him.
He smirks and chuckles, “Do you remember anything that happened last night?”
“I remember all of it,” I growl again.
“I don’t think you do,” He says confidently, “Do you remember Trunks stopping by?”
Alarm grows in my mind, but I try my best to keep it from showing on my face.
“I know you don’t, because you were out cold,” he says. He sits in front of me, mirroring my position, but leaning forward, staring into my eyes. He explains, “Trunks told me something rather interesting. I don’t know which one of you to believe, or if I should be believing anyone. Would you like to know what he said? Or would you like to tell me everything you know.”
He’s testing me, but I don’t know what the fucking questions are on the quiz. What could Trunks have told him? Whatever it was, it’s caused Kakarot’s distrust of me to resurface, and I have little hope of gaining it again. Here I thought getting into a relationship with him would be difficult before! Man was I ever wrong! Why am I thinking about that?
“Well?” he smirks.
This is what he’s so upset about. He knows something that he thinks I know, too. Gohan and Piccolo, maybe? But why isn’t he going after them?
I reply, unsure of myself, “I can’t imagine the things he might have told you, whether they were true or not, or whether they were an attempt to shatter your confidence. I expressly told him to stay away.”
The smile falls from his face and he responds, “I have no doubt that you did. But he didn’t listen to you, and now you will have to answer to me.”
I smirk, “Go ahead and ask, then,” I reply, ignoring the fact that he probably meant that as for more of a physical altercation than a verbal one.
As I stare into his eyes, Kakarot looks so pensive, it’s kind of strange to see him like this. He’s hesitating to confront me. Does he think I’m trying to manipulate him? I am, aren’t I?
He tells me, “I am caught between how I want to handle this situation… What to do, first.”
“Sounds like a personal problem,” I remark.
“Yes,” he nods, “for you and me, both.”
This conversation is unnerving and quickly getting old. I suddenly tell him, “If there’s something you want to discuss then tell me, damn it! I don’t know what he told you, and so I can’t answer your questions if you don’t ask them yourself!”
“There’s no need to get angry,” he smiles. “I’m getting there. I’m just trying to gauge your emotions in all of this. What’s true and what isn’t. What’s real… and what’s fake.”
“I’ve never been anything but honest with you! I may not have always been one hundred percent forthcoming, but I have never lied to you,” I growl, “It’s not in my nature to do so, there would be no point in it.”
“Then tell me why you want to leave?” he asks again.
“Kakarot!” I muse, growing tired of his games, “We don’t have a place here! If we did before we’ve certainly lost that now!”
He shakes his head and says, “No, we don’t. But I’m still going to destroy this planet. And you’re going to watch.”
This again…
He stands up now, glaring down at me as he bursts forth with what’s really been bothering him, “Trunks told me you have a plan to stop me! I thought long and hard about his words, Vegeta. Then, when I knew you weren’t going to wake up, and that he was of no more use to me, I went looking for Gohan and Piccolo in the dead of the night! Guess what?! I couldn’t find either one of them! Do you know where they are?!”
I can’t help when my eyes widen as he survey’s me.
His face turns into a mask of anger and betrayal, and he yells, “You do! I knew you did! Which means that Trunks was right, or at least somewhat,” his sentence tapers off.
I stand quickly, fighting off the nausea, and rebuttal, “What the fuck does this have anything to do with us?” My head begins to spin but I concentrate on him, not wanting to show my weakness, but my anger is bridling as I add, “I did not know that they left until after you went after Bulma!”
He sneers, “Even so, your plans for me wholly differ from what you have been telling me. I doubt that if you had been completely sober you would have told me, anyways, so don’t play those games.”
“Who’s playing games?!” I cry, “You are! You have been this whole time!”
“And you haven’t?!” he growls, “You don’t give a fuck about me! I don’t think that you ever did, to be honest!”
I don’t understand what’s going on! We’re fighting like an old familiar couple! What in the hell is he so upset about? Where is this coming from? He’s supposed to not care about anything, but from where I stand, all he cares about is having some sort of… fight.
Oh.
He rants, “From what I understand- you HATED me!”
He’s… just a Saiyan…
“Old me, new me, all of me! You were JEALOUS of my power! I am stronger than you and better than you! And maybe- MAYBE- I had feelings for you!”
He needs me, as a fellow Saiyan, to acknowledge him for who he is.
“But you didn’t! You didn’t want to see me leave! You wanted to keep me here! You don’t want me to do what I want to do! You want to destroy me in any way you can! And you’re a patient man for waiting so long! Buying your time!”
I half-laugh in mildly shocked and sedated amusement, simply retorting, “Shows how much you know me, if you think I’m patient,” I snort and cross my arms, unimpressed and still trying to figure out exactly what to say to regain the upper hand here.
What upper hand? We’re thoroughly fucked. Unless…
His eyes shake as he looks from one to the other of my own, and he adds, his voice growing deeper, “I hate to ruin your plans, but I’ll be going away by myself! You see, I don’t need your stupid ship, or your food! And I certainly don’t need YOU! It took me some time, but I have found them! Gohan and Piccolo! They’re very clever, aren’t they?! Going off planet to New Namek!”
Damn him!
“Ah! You’re wondering how I found out! I can be resourceful, too, you know! I used that technique Gohan showed me and crept into Trunks’ room last night and I read his mind! That’s what I meant when I said I got all I needed out of him. Now I know exactly when they’re going to arrive and, lucky for me, all I have to do is Instant Transmission and just like that, I’ll be there to ruin their good time!
Does he really think I’m just going to let him leave? My mind is racing through my slim options as he rambles.
“These dragonballs they think they’re going to stop me with will ultimately be their undoing!”
“Tch...” I growl, and retort, “They are fools if they believe the Dragonballs can stop you. Piccolo already tried that, didn’t he?!”
“And you didn’t?!” he yells again.
Actually, no.
He glares at me while asking, almost sarcastically, “I just have one more question for you, Vegeta! What did you wish for that day?!”
He already knows, doesn’t he? It’s why he didn’t try to fight me. It’s why he’s allowing me to know what his plans are. He knows he cannot kill me.
“You don’t want to share in your secrets? Hmm?” He smirks. “Well, there will be two invincible Saiyans running around the universe soon enough!”
I stand tall before him, now, smelling the fish cooking on the fire to our sides, and I find myself strangely calm considering my circumstances.
We are at a stalemate.
I should just kill him now and be done with it. Maybe I can make him bend to my will for once. Or…
Then he says, “Gohan was right about you, you are very cunning. You would do whatever it took to win a fight. That’s why you were so confident yesterday.”
I smirk, but my response is not in kind. I ask him, “I wonder, since you’ve read my mind, what else did you search for? Or did you only seek out the information most convenient to your situation?”
“What do you mean?!” he growls.
I daresay I have nothing left to lose, so I take a step closer, and confide in him, “If you had taken the time to find out everything there is to know about our circumstances you would know how I really feel. Whatever Trunks said to you about me could have turned any doubt and made it fall to the wayside if you cared to delve a little further when you had the chance. Then, you would know that I’ve been questioning my innocence in all of this foul play. And, moreover, you would know that there is nothing we can do to stop Gohan and Piccolo from getting their wish. Whatever wish that may be.”
He frowns, “Perhaps, and yet I’m not so sure. Explain.”
I smirk, “Well, for starters, I am immortal. I could have finished you long ago if I wanted to. I could have stepped in at any time and stopped you, but I didn’t.”
“I’m flattered,” he huffs.
“Besides,” I bark, “When Trunks told me yesterday about the plans that Gohan and Piccolo conjured up it got me thinking... They kept me out of their little circle, too, you know, so I wouldn’t be so offended.” Kakarot stops frowning, listening intently, waiting impatiently for me to continue. I smirk, and finally tell him, “But I know something else that you don’t know.
“What’s that?” Kakarot asks, annoyed, and yet I can tell that his curiosity is piqued.
“The Dragon on Namek only speaks Namekian. You need a Namekian to grant your wish there,” I laugh as his eyes widen, and then I add, “It sucks not being able to remember everything doesn’t it? If you had your memories, or if you had been more patient about sifting through ours, you would have found that knowledge out all on your own.”
“You’re lying!”
“Am I? Would you like to come have a look for yourself?”
He grits his teeth as he stares me down.
I chuckle, “Actually, Kakarot, I believe I have a better idea. Why don’t you just take us both to Namek? Why wait for them? We can gather the dragonballs. Bulma has a radar that will make it easy to find them, and if they’re keeping them like they used to, there are 7 major cities that will already have them ready for us. I’ve done this before. Then we can talk some poor fool into summoning the beast for us and even granting your wish. In fact, if you play your cards right, they will believe every word that you say. They love you there, or do you not remember?”
“Shut up!” He cries, but he is considering my words.
I have to bluff my way out of this. I have to make him believe that… I don’t know anymore. I turn from him and say, as I slowly walk towards the fire, “I’m going to eat some of this fish you’ve burned over here. I’ll let you think about it. It would be nice if you’d join me for the meal you provided in the meantime.”
“Vegeta!” he yells, his mind in tumult, but I do not heed him.
It takes everything in my strength just to walk a straight line and bend down by the fire. I take one of the large fish out of the flames, sit down, and immediately begin eating.
He’s heading towards me now, watching closely.
“You wouldn’t lie, now, would you, after everything?” he asks as he comes ever close.
“I never lied to you in the first place,” I manage in between bites.
“But you withheld information from me,” he growls.
“Of course, I did,” I confess, “Your behavior has been reckless. I have had to take precautions that you obviously don’t agree with.”
“So,” he bends down beside me, staring at me as I eat, and says, “Why haven’t you stopped me in the least, if you’re so afraid of me? Why are you trying to help me?”
I swallow a mouthful before answering snidely, “I wouldn’t call it being afraid so much as treading through unfamiliar territory. And, no, I haven’t tried to stop you, have I? I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the Saiyan in me that’s been waiting for the Saiyan in you this whole time.”
“What if he never came?” he asks, and then changes the way the sentence was worded, “What if I never surfaced?”
“But you did, and now that we’re here, and the things that are done have passed, we have to decide what our next course of action will be,” I explain, finally acknowledging the truth of our circumstances. I find myself adding, “You know I wouldn’t have been so angry with you that day… or even at all, if I knew what you wanted from me in the first place, coming to me like that… without rhyme or reason, without… even so much as a second option to give to me, considering your intentions.”
He looks solemn and remains quiet while I eat for some time. I’ve never seen him ignore food that was right in front of him. I’ve never seen him unsure of himself like this before. Is he questioning his own logic for once?
“You never answered my question,” he finally mumbles, sitting down beside me.
“Which one, Kakarot, you’ve been hammering me for information ever since I woke up?!” I groan, thoroughly annoyed and exhausted, although I can feel some of my strength returning as I eat. I am grateful for that much.
“Why are you trying to help me?” he asks again, this time with more of a sweetness in his voice than I’ve heard all day.
I look him in the eyes and answer, “I’ve been… feeling differently ever since you woke up like this. And ever since I was granted immortality, I realized that even if you and I made it work, eventually I would have to let you go. It might as well be that we both get our wish, at least then, no matter what, we’ll never have to go this universe alone again.”
He smiles, and I’m so… serene.
This is what I want, isn’t it? I want this chaos in my life again… I want the freedom again. The rush. The thrill!
What difference will it make when everyone who wishes to judge us will soon be gone forever?
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Disclosure	By : TristaML Category: Missing Data > Missing Data Views: 167 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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