Family Therapy

D.     
And this is AU. And it’s all
about humor (and the endless lemons.
Goal for this story: get a lemon in every chapter like Hormone
Therapy.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****

yes"> Stuck one of her arms out of the cage and grabbed at him until he
crouched there and gave her his hand.

“Mommy,”
she whispered, “Mommy, where’s Daddy?
Is he okay?” Did she have to be
so disgustingly cute? He felt for a
moment like he was going to cry just because she was on that edge of tears
herself, but he was saved from that rather public display of his emotions by
Vegeta climbing to his feet, and Goku turning toward the fight.

“They
aren’t doing very well,” Vegeta said.
Wrapped his hands around the bars and looked toward the fight.

“They
lost level four,” Goku replied, “I should go help them.”

“No,”
Trunks said. “Leave them alone. If something happens they can’t handle, the
cage will fall apart.” Which sounded
stupid even to him, because the point was to keep that thing from
happening. But the scar on his shoulder
didn’t hurt and if Goten was really in trouble… What? The scar wouldn’t
hurt because his mate was never afraid of anything. Death did not faze Goten.
The past week had proved that even more perfectly than the suicidal act
of destroying the androids seven years ago had. But Gina would know, because Vegeta, the more intelligent twin,
was afraid of death.

“They’re
my sons,” Goku said.

“Yeah,”
that was Presta, and she showed up stinking awfully, tousled and bruised and
angry as all hell. “And he’s my
father. Except I don’t have kids to
hang around and keep safe. So I’m
going.” She glared right at him, as if
asking him to make some sort of objections, but he didn’t. Wasn’t going to tell her what to do because
she was fifteen and everyone knew that teenagers know everything.

Gohan
appeared just as she was leaving, and he looked just about as bad as Presta
had, only he had the strangest smile on his face—Trunks knew that smile, it was
sort of like the one that Vegeta (the twin) got after he got laid after a long
hiatus, and it was nearly identical to Goku’s constant smile.

“DAD!”
Pan screamed, “How could you just…” she motioned at him “My best friend! That’s so gross!” Which just showed off how human she was. “Stop smiling!”

Masuyo
was sitting quietly in one of the far corners, eyes closed, and he, of all of
them except the parents, was the only one paying attention to the battle that
was raging.

~~~***

Vegeta
(twin and first born son of his mother by the same name) put his hands on his
knees and panted for every breath that made it into his starved lungs. Buu looked just slightly winded, highly
amused by them, but not at all like he was really hurt by thefforfforts thus
far.

“I
think we’re in shit,” Goten muttered next to him.

“Yeah. Forgot to figure in how powerful he was
going to be, obviously.”

“You
ever learn that spirit bomb bullshit that Dad tried to teach us?” Goten
asked. Wiped his forehead and looked at
him. Still smirking, but there was the
barest hint of fear in him.

“Nope. Too boring.”

“Starting
to think it might have been a good plan.”

Vegeta
shrugged. Little late to worry about it
now. He straightened up str stretched,
watched Buutingting increasingly bored.
So his brother sighed, and the two of them went back into fighting
stance, would have done more, but there was a streak of bright gold, and Buu went
flying back and landed in the scarred ground.

Presta
turned and looked at them. “Figure
something out quick,” she snapped, “This thing is going to kick my ass.” Ah, a realistic Saiyan. What a rarity. But they didn’t object to her, at least, Goten didn’t object to
his first daughter playing the distraction queen, because he grabbed his
brother and turned him to face him.

“Okay,
‘Geta, waiting for a great idea to accidentally fall out of your skull. Say something stupid.” And he was tapping his hands against his
legs like he always did when he was doing some quick math. That skill of his, to totally forget the
fact that Buu was screaming as it raced back across the sky and kicked Presta
hard in the gut, was a true skill.

“Like
what, Goten? Should I reflect on our
childhood? Remember that time when we
changed the Bulma lotion for marshmallow crème? Or when we went to that school and put the psychotropic drugs in
their mashed potatoes? Or that one time
when we were playing truth or dare with the morons and they dared us to…”

But
he didn’t finish that sentence because Goten grabbed smacked him. “The scars!” he said. “That’s it.
You’re a bloody fucking genius, Geta.
Really. Brothers or not, I could
just…kiss you!” And a part of Vegeta
knew that was not what his brother was going to say, but was rather happy the
words Goten intended to say were not said.

“Please,
feel free not to.”

Goten
gave him the biggest, most disturbing grin of all time. “I’m going to do better than that. I’m going to bite you.”

“Please
tell me your joking and how did you get that out of them daring use to strip
down to our boxers anyway?”

“The
scar, remember. They asked me who bit me? And you told them it was you, and that’s
were that whole obsession with seeing us making out came from?” Then there was a shake of his brother’s
head. “Sheesh, you’ve got a freaking
small memory.” Still, he dragged his
brother closer to Buu. “Here’s the
plan,” he said.

“Shut
up, ass, I know the plan.” He did. Fighting was like that. Their common life force just combined their
brains or something so whatever Goten thought of was already in his mind and
all he had to do was go with the flow.
So he looked at Presta getting her head pounded in by Buu and
yelled. “HEY BUBBLEGUM MAN!” Got Buu’s attention and it grinned. Moved over to them.

He
shoved his power level up, felt it go up into third, and then fourth and he
grabbed Goten’s arm and yanked it up to his mouth, felt Goten grab his hand and
yanked it up to his mouth and then just when the pinkng wng was right on them,
he sank his teeth down into his brother’s arm overtop the scar he had put there
when he was six. Felt the power well up
inside of him and then it exploded.

Goten’s
teeth dug harder into his hand and he rolled his eyes, returned that action and
heard something popping and burning away.
Then, a darkness rose up over him and he was kicked back. Landed on his ass in the dirt and saw his
brother in the same situation, bloody grin in place, and all around them there
was smoke.

Presta
stood in the air between them.
“Morons. He was dead in the
first five seconds. What the hell was
that about anyway?”

“It’s
a twin thing,” Vegeta said. Looked down
at his hand and frowned about it. It
hurt like a sonofbitch and it wouldn’t stop bleeding. But, at least Goten was in the same situation.

“Whatever. Can we go let everyone out of the pretty
cage now?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****

Goten: I have a
boo-boo.

Vegeta: That’s nfunnfunny

Goku: Can I have
sex now?

Lil’Geta: Next
chapter.

Presta: I just saw
my father and my uncle biting each other.

Trunks: *sigh
*

Goku: SEX!!!!!!!

a:

Mechanical Butterfly: