Adult-FanFiction.org : Gundam, Beyblade, DBZ, FMA

Lonely Desire	By : Petya Category: Gundam (all others) > General Views: 12083 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Pairings: Athrun x Kira

Disclaimer: Don�t own Gundam SEED / Destiny, only
borrowing the characters and the universe for this fic.

Warning: NC-17, but
this chapter is safe. Yet I should warn you it is getting sappier.

Comments: Here it is, the next chapter. I am sorry, but it is likely I�ll
continue to take a lot of time to update, at least until Jan 26, when is my
last exam.

Special thanks to:
Mat
for the editing. You know who�s guilty for any mistakes found, don�t you ;-)

Chapter
SIXTEEN

Dust
of Dreams

Kira
felt something throwing him in the air and then he hit the ground. Everything
went blank and his consciousness left him�

Kira�s started to come to but everything was as if he
was standing neck-deep in thick jelly. He felt he had some kind of awareness of
himself but was unable to move. His limbs were heavy and rigid and he couldn�t
even bring himself to open his eyes. He decided to begin with evaluating and
perceiving everything he could in his current state.

He felt he was lying on a hard surface but
something softer was supporting his head. There was a dull pain in his head and
some discomfort in his left side, but he had dealt with worse injuries in the
past. What had happened to him? Where was he? Those questions were still to be
answered.

He opened his eyes in search for answers. But
in the position he was lying, the sun was shining down straight into his eyes
and all he could see was a dark shadow hovering over him. That was probably a
face, but all he could make out was that the person had blond hair since it
glowed like an angelic halo around his or her head. He closed his eyes as he
was almost blinded by the intense light.

He mind was like a shattered mirror. One was
able see one�s reflection in it, but everything would be extorted and
incomplete. Then the pieces started to fit together�

And he remembered�

* series of flashbacks
*

��Marry me, share
with me all the joys and sorrows this world has to offer.� I want us to be
together forever, Cagalli.�

A car
honking and himself at the middle of the street� Frozen unable to move he
watched the blue vehicle coming closer and closer�

�Of course I am sure, Cagalli! Especially now,
after the night we shared. We made love and that means a lot to me.�

Screams
around him�The honking growing louder and more urgent�

�I don�t want kids.�

The
wide-opened eyes of the driver at the realization that he wouldn�t be able to
stop in time� The amusing thought that the man was a Natural popped up in his
head out of nowhere and it was ridiculously improper, but he remained glued in
the middle of the street not moving and his thoughts came slow and hazy�

�I don�t need kids.�

The
impact� Something colliding with him and throwing him in the air� Him flying
and then hitting the ground� And then there was blackness�

* end of the series of
flashbacks *

His mind was fully awake now and one horrible
thought flooded his mind� His baby� What had happened to his baby? His eyes
opened in shock, the pupils dilated and unseeing. All that he had left in his
life was the small being that was growing inside him. If he lost his baby, he
would be left empty-handed. He had lost Athrun, and as much as he wished he
were stronger, he wasn�t going to be able to cope with another loss that soon.
His mind was sending desperate signals through all neurons trying to assess the
state of his body. The stress overwhelmed him, he
stopped thinking logically and started to hyperventilate. His breathing turned
deep and fast. And there was that weird feeling � it was as if someone forced
electric impulses through his entire nervous system.

His ability to move now restored, he bolted to
a sitting position and his hands flew to his abdomen. Someone stopped him and tried
to get him back into a lying position. Kira resisted the push and was ready to
fight the hands that tried to calm him down and put him back down. He
desperately started to touch his belly searching for any sign that his baby was
still in-there � healthy and safe. He found none� He was as afraid as he had
never been in his entire life. He had never even known he was able to feel such
terror. Even the betrayal of Athrun was nothing compared to that. Yet he didn�t
feel as if he had had a miscarriage so he tried to push the horrific thought
away. He shouldn�t think negatively, that was something all the books he had
read, agreed on.

He concentrated on the person that continued to
push him down. Now that his eyes had regained their ability to see, he
recognized the face of the person.

�Rey-kun?� He was surprised to see the boy here. But that
hardly mattered at that moment. �What are you doing here? What happened? Where
am I?� His questions came in one after the other as he searched for reassurance
that he and his baby were fine. Then it dawned to him that no one save for
Erica Simmons knew he was pregnant. And that it would be better if it remained
like that.

�Kira-san, daijobu desu ka?� [Kira-san, are you OK?] Rey�s
voice was filled with concern and worry. He pushed the brunet back until he was
lying on the ground and carefully adjusted the light jacket that he had taken
off himself to put it under the older boy�s head.

Kira nodded. He didn�t feel strong pain, his mind was clear and his senses operational. All he
desired now was to contact Erica Simmons as soon as possible and to consult
her�

He tried to stand up and leave, but Rey stopped
him and calmingly said. �Kira-san, please don�t move. You might have some inner
injuries. You have to be examined. I have already called for an ambulance.�

At that information Kira started to struggle to
get up as he had no desire to be examined by other doctors. What if they found
out he was pregnant? What if he turned into a news article in the paper � �the
weird male that can get pregnant� � he needed to get away from that
place as soon as possible. He could hear the sirens of the ambulance in the
distance and he doubled his efforts to move. He freed himself from Rey�s grip and stood up. He felt some dizziness but that
was of no importance. All that mattered was to get away. He needed to run� His
body jerked at the idea but he ordered his muscles to oblige to his desires. He
was already ready to bolt off when Rey grabbed his hand and tried to calm him
down. He thought that Kira was disoriented and couldn�t act adequately,
little did he know that the brunet was fully aware of his actions.

�Kira-san, calm down. Everything will be fine.�
He started to talk as he would to a small child or a frightened animal, but
Kira paid no attention. He stood still until he felt steady and was sure that
he won�t fall if he made a step then he pulled away from Rey, who by that time
had loosened his grip and headed away.

Only now did he notice the curious onlookers
that surrounded him. It was in human�s nature to watch other people�s dramas.
He discarded them and tried to make his way through the crowd. Yet Rey was
faster and got him once again.

�Kira-san, what are you doing? You might be
hurt. You need to be examined by doctors.� He seemed to think that the brunet
was in state of shock, which was probably quite close to the truth, but that
didn�t prevent the older boy from making decisions based on common sense.

Kira continued to walk and just looked at Rey
from the corner of his eyes. �I am not going to the hospital. I am fine.� He
was not sure about the last one, but he could hear the ambulance coming closer
and closer. He needed to get away and fast. He looked around and noticed a taxi
just a few meters away. He headed towards it but it took off just before he
reached it. There were no other taxis in the area as far as Kira could see. He
was left with only one option. He turned to Rey. �If you really want to help
me, please, get me out of here.�

Rey didn�t know what to do. The older boy was
obviously determined to leave, but he could be injured and he remembered his
orders not to let even a hair fall off his head. Yet he was left with no
choice, it was his shift and he couldn�t risk lose sight of the object. Besides
he was obviously set on leaving and something could happen to him and there
might be no one to help him. The blonde nodded. �OK, Kira-san, I�ll help you,
but you should promise me that you�ll consult a doctor as soon as possible.�

That was an easy thing to promise. He wanted
the same thing, it was just that Kira had a certain
doctor in mind and not just any doctor.

Rey led him to a small van with the logo of a home-delivery
company Kira knew well, since he used their services. The brunet took the
passenger seat and carefully tied the seatbelt. They took off shortly and left
the crowd and the ambulances behind. He finally relaxed a little and became
curious how had it turned out that Rey had been there.

�Un�, Rey-kun, what happened? Why were you there? Was I not run over by a
car?� He didn�t know very well what had happened. The last thing he remembered
was the impact and himself hitting the hard surface of
the street. But he didn�t feel as if he had been run over. Not that he had any
idea how would one feel in such a case, but he supposed it would just be
different.

* flashback *

Rey
was staying close to the front door of the Residential Palace waiting for the
object to exit and to resume his surveillance, when unexpectedly soon after he
had entered, Kira Yamato came out through the door, or more correctly bolted
out of the building. His eyes were filled with tears and he tripped as he was
running down the staircase, but he regained his balance and continued his run.
Rey followed him careful not to get noticed, but in his current state the
brunet didn�t seem to notice anything.

The
older boy kept running blindly colliding with people on his way, barely
mumbling incoherent apologies and crossing streets not caring to look left and
right before he stepped on the roadway.

It was
evident something was wrong but in accordance with his orders Rey was not
allowed to act and get noticed unless the object was in danger, and even if his
actions put him in some danger there was no imminent threat for his well-being
at that precise moment. It was good that so early on Sundays the traffic was
not very intense.

Then
the boy just stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of a big street and just
stood there oblivious to his surroundings. He was clenching his fists and his
face showed pain and hurt. Rey almost felt sorry for him. He liked him to some
extend. He had always been nice to him unlike other customers, offered him a
snack or a beverage and always gave him a tip.

The
blonde had mixed feelings. On one hand he � a trained soldier had to work as a
supplier, just because his superior officer had ordered him to manipulate the
food and drinks the object consumed. On the other � the same object had cared
for the feelings of an unknown worker in a service company. That had made him
somewhat guilty but he never gave it much thought. Orders were orders, and had
to be followed even when one didn�t like them.

And he
had an order to make sure Kira Yamato was well and healthy so when he saw and
heard the blue car that was closing on the object and was bound not to stop in
time he just did what had to be done. He ran and jumped on the boy taking him
out of the way of the vehicle and falling on him as they flew and hit the
ground. He was surprised that a Coordinator would pass out that easily because
of a mere hit on the ground, but he remembered that the boy had been aggravated
about something so he assumed that had had some influence on the case as well.

* end of flashback *

Rey thought it best to answer the question. �I
happened to be passing by and I saw you in the middle of the street. You seemed
not to notice that a car was closing in and obviously couldn�t hear the
honking, so I just pushed you out of the way. You fell on your left side, so I
suppose you are bruised. I am sorry that you got hurt.� Rey didn�t look at Kira
while he was talking, concentrating on driving instead. �Should I drive you
home?�

The brunet was glad that the fate had stepped
in to protect him and more importantly his unborn child. �Un�� He nodded in
answer. �Get me home, please, you know the way, I�ll be fine. And thank you. I
suppose I was deep in thought and just didn�t notice the car. I owe you my
life, and even more.� He didn�t care about the bruises. They were a small price
for his baby�s life. He was ready to sacrifice much more if it meant his
child�s safety and happiness. �If you ever need anything, just say so and I�ll
do my best to help you.�

Kira relaxed on the seat and caressed his
abdomen happy that his baby was fine. He loved it. He loved it even more now,
because he had to love the small creature for two. It wouldn�t matter that
Athrun had rejected it. Kira would love his baby enough so that it never felt
deprived of the love of its second parent.

He still couldn�t believe what had happened.
His eyes watered at the memory of Athrun�s proposal
to his sister and his fervent statement that he wanted no kids. It hurt. Hurt
so much that the pain was almost physical. It surpassed the dull ache that the
bruises gave him or the annoying headache.

Then something inside him clenched and he felt
pain as if someone had stabbed him in his abdomen and had started to rotate the
knife in order to inflict maximum pain. He fought for air as the pain was so
intense that he couldn�t even breathe and started to see double. A moan escaped
his lips and Rey turned to see what was going on and there was Kira folded in
two, pressing his stomach and rasping for air. He didn�t know what to do. The
older boy obviously needed medical attention and urgently. But for some reason
he had refused medical treatment.

�Kira-san? What is going on?�

Kira couldn�t answer. He couldn�t think of
anything else but one thing. His baby� something was wrong with his baby�

Lacus was at home watering her roses and
singing to them when she felt it. Something was wrong with Kira. Something was
very wrong with him. She had never felt this strong connection to him as in
that moment. She dropped the watering can and reached for her phone. Kira�s phone number refused her call as it had been for the
last 11 days.

She dialed another number � this time Athrun�s. Maybe he was going to have more luck contacting
Kira. If not she would call Cagalli or anyone else who had even a remote chance
of getting in touch with him.

Athrun picked up on the third ring.

Athrun and Cagalli were in one of the city
parks happy that there were not many people around. They had taken precautions
and had disguised but it was still better that there were hardly any people
around.

It was too early for those who liked to take a
stroll in the park in their days off and it was relatively late for the
joggers, who preferred the early hours of the morning.

Somewhere in the distance they heard the sirens
of ambulances and they hoped that whoever needed their aid, would be alright.
They couldn�t even imagine that it was Kira that those ambulances raced to get
to�

They walked in comfortable silence, rarely
saying a word, happy that the wall that had stood between them for the last 11
days was finally gone.

Then Athrun�s phone
rang. He wouldn�t have picked it up, if he had been someone that he didn�t care
much for, but since it was Lacus, and since he hoped to hear from Kira soon and
he could very well go to Lacus first, they did share something that made him
jealous, even if he knew that was definitely not love, he picked up.

�Hello, Athrun Zala
here.�

�Athrun,� the pink-haired songstress started
without any introductions, as soon as she heard the voice on the other side of
the line, �I know you wouldn�t believe me, as you didn�t back then in the
hospital, but I feel something�s wrong with Kira. Please, try to contact him. I
couldn�t reach him, maybe you�ll have more luck.�

Athrun didn�t know what to think. He was not
the type to believe in the supernatural, but she had turned out to be correct
about his beloved the last time� �Lacus, calm down. I�ll try to call him, but
he refused my calls, and for all I know he does the same with everyone else�s,
since neither Cagalli, nor Yzak or Dearka could get him. But I�ll call him
right away and I�ll call you back to tell you whether or not I succeeded. Bye
for now.�

Athrun cut the line and stared at the small
devise. What was going on with Kira? First he had left so suddenly leaving a
note that said virtually nothing, then he refused any phone-calls and now Lacus
was sure something was wrong with him. He was worried.

Cagalli watched him curiously. She had caught
the conversation had revolved around her brother, when she heard about the
refused calls, but had no idea what exactly had Lacus wanted. �Athrun, is there
a problem with Kira?� She asked and when he didn�t answer immediately she
pulled his sleeve to get his attention.

He looked at her with distracted eyes. �Uh? Oh, Cagalli, sorry. Lacus called.� He paused and the
Natural got annoyed. Why did he need to state the obvious?

�I got that� She snapped and rolled her eyes.
�Tell me what she said to get you this way.� Men, were really thick sometimes,
especially in the moments they least needed to be.

�She said something was wrong with Kira. She
had called him but to no avail and asked me to try to call him as well.� With
that he hit the dial button and waited to get connected, but as soon as he got
the call was refused. He was not surprised, yet he asked Cagalli to try to call
him too. That attempt was also futile.

They looked at each other. What had been going
on with Kira? He was becoming stranger and stranger. It was not like him to set
his phone to refuse calls. Athrun was worried yet there was nothing he could
do, but call Lacus and inform her that they had had no more luck in reaching
Kira than her.

The mood was ruined and Cagalli suggested
�Let�s head back, we can always get together and find a way to get Kira.�

The blue-haired Coordinator nodded in agreement
and they headed for the car that he had parked in closer vicinity.

As they traveled Cagalli fumed. �Till now I
respected his wish not to look for him, but he went too far. I am gathering a
search party and I�ll dig him out of his hole even if he has gone to the North
Pole. And once I get my hands on him, he shall face my wrath.� She seemed really pissed off and her eyes sparked with
determination.

Athrun only nodded in agreement, knowing better
then to talk to the fierce blonde when she was in such a mood.

They had hardly entered the palace when a shy
servant-girl, who as everyone knew was �secretly� in love with Kira, bowed in
front of the princess and asked her.

�Shitsuree, Cagalli-sama, demo� is Kira-sama all
right? He seemed very troubled today, after he met you��

Both Cagalli and Athrun jumped as they heard
the question. Kira had come back and had obviously been there at the palace. And
judging by Yukiko�s words he had come to meet them. Yet he had not. Something
was most definitely wrong and Lacus� claims had once again turned out to be
correct. Cagalli being in a state of annoyance already interrupted the girl and
asked.

�When was that? What did you see?� Her harsh
tone made the timid girl tremble and look franticly between the two people in
front of her, wishing she had kept her mouth shut. She started to fiddle her
fingers nervously and to shift her weight from foot to foot. But the princess
was just too absorbed in her own problems to notice anything. And when she
didn�t get an answer instantly, she pressed �What�s wrong, Yukiko? Speak up!�

The girl flinched further � her head sank
between her shoulder and she started to tremble visibly. Athrun, who saw that
if Cagalli barked at the poor servant once more, she would either run away or
burst into tears, neither of which would help them in any way, just grabbed his
beloved�s sister�s hand and prevented her from making a grave mistake. Before
she could open her mouth and start shouting, he stepped in and calmly addressed
the shaking girl.

�Yukiko-kun [1], please calm down and tell us,
what had happened and what made you assume that Kira-san was not fine.� He
controlled his expressoin in order not to frighten the
girl any further. Yet inside him everything screamed for an answer. She looked
at him with shy eyes and bowed, testing his patience with her slowness and
hesitation which seemed to take forever until she spoke.

�Athrun-sama, Kira-sama was here about an hour before you and Cagalli-sama got out. I saw him come and he was holding a beautiful
white lily.� Her romantic soul sighed as she remembered how envious she had
felt toward her princess for having a brother that thoughtful. Athrun clenched
his teeth as he wondered how many honorifics and pointless comments it would
take before Yukiko got to the point, but pressing her would most likely only
delay matters even more. �I was bringing new sheets for change as I heard him
talking to Mana-san and she told him you and the
Princess had been in her apartment, so he headed there. But a little bit more
than 20 minutes after that he bolted out of the palace and he seemed very
disturbed, I� uhh�� She seemed hesitant to continue
and Athrun had to fight the urge to force the words out of her and he could see
Cagalli clenching her fists and digging her nails deep in the flesh to prevent
herself from chocking the girl to death then and there. �Ano�he
seemed to have been crying.� She finally finished and with a hasty bow and
�With your permission� took off.

Neither Cagalli nor Athrun paid any attention
to her as she hurried down the corridor. They shared equally stunned glares and
wondered what was going on. Things concerning Kira had started to turn more and
more inexplicable.

The blue-haired Coordinator felt his guts
freeze and his mind haze at the thought of a crying Kira. He hated the very
idea, since he knew that the wounds that made his beloved cry were never ones
inflicted to his body, rather those that pierced his heart. Someone or
something in this Palace had hurt him and he or she had hurt him strongly
enough to make him cry in public. He had to know who, why and what had pained
his Kira.

Athrun abruptly turned and sprinted down the
corridors not caring what the people who saw him would think.

Cagalli was still shocked to find out that her
brother had come back from wherever he had been to and had come to visit her
only to leave before they met and didn�t instantly notice that her companion
was no longer beside her. The collective gasps of the onlookers who had no idea
what was going on and had assumed that their Princess and her bodyguard (or
boyfriend as many assumed) had had a quarrel. She snapped out of her haze and
barely caught a glimpse of Athrun turning around a corner. She followed him, although
she couldn�t begin to guess where he was heading to. But he still knew her
brother better than her, having the advantage of knowing him longer and being
close to him for years.

While running Athrun took out of one of his
pockets his ID card which also was a key card to all areas in ORB with
restricted access. He took a stop in front of a door that had a sing saying �Restricted access! Security staff only!�, ready to open it with the key but it was slightly ajar
and he just stormed in not bothering to knock to acknowledge his arrival and
shouted. �I want all the security-camera records for the last three hours!�

The people inside looked at him all stunned by
his sudden appearance, not used to see their boss in such a state, let alone
shouting. It was the video surveillance room and all the people who worked
there were hand-picked by Athrun himself. Their job was far too important to
leave place for people who would overlook their obligations. Before the staff
could mutter more that some discordant greetings the door flew open once again
and their Princess entered in such a speed that she couldn�t stop in time and
collided with her bodyguard. Everyone stood in their places with their mouths
gaping and at a complete loss what to say or do. Some tried to salute but
noticed that their superiors paid no attention to them and changed their
actions to confused scratching of their heads or arranging their disheveled
hair.

Two more swift officers started to order the
disks that were requested though they seemed to have become slippery and
constantly fell out of their grasp.

Both Athrun and Cagalli realized that the poor
people were not used to see them in such a state, them usually being calm and poised
when they would communicate with strangers. They looked at each other confused
and at loss how to act, but the green-eyed boy collected himself and almost unnoticeably
nodded to his friend to indicate he would take lead and she would do better to
simply agree with whatever he did.

�Sir,� a man with balding head saluted. �Is
there a problem with the security?� Those words broke the spell over everyone
and all the officers stood to attention and saluted ready to answer to anything
whey might be asked.

�No, I just decided to run an unexpected
inspection to see what the state of the security is.� Athrun felt nasty to
bother the guys on Sunday, but on the other hand they shouldn�t be slacking
off. Too much depended on them. And he knew they were serious and hardworking
people who didn�t deserve to lied to as he just did, yet he couldn�t really
tell them he was looking for a clue to reason why his lover had been seen
crying. And they had already come to their senses and he didn�t want them to
ask questions he couldn�t answer. So he grabbed the first straw that popped in
his mind. �I think you all know that the door to this area has to be closed and
locked constantly, yet it was ajar when I came!� He was looking for any excuse
to advert their attention from his and Cagalli�s weird behaviour
at least for the moment and that was the one thing he could come up with.

�Sorry, sir,� the same man said. �It�s just
that Takeda went to bring coffee for all of us and it would have been hard for
him to open the door or even knock with 7 coffee cups in hands. At that precise
moment a young officer entered with a tray carrying coffee and some candy bars,
obviously taken from a machine. The man observed the situation, noticing the
tensed atmosphere and quickly placed the tray on a nearby table and saluted.

Athrun nodded and said. �I see, next time close
the door, he would knock with a foot. Now give me the records I have a bet
going with the Princess here and I am in a hurry to prove her wrong.� Oh, God,
he had surely come up with a stupid excuse, but it was already said and he
hoped it won�t piss Cagalli off. Yet she played along.

�Or more likely I will prove you wrong!�
Her glare spoke nothing and he realized she was much more concerned about Kira�s case than he had thought.

�Here they are, sir!� A man handed him a case
filled with disks and he automatically took it. �They are sorted by time and
area of surveillance.�

Both Athrun and Cagalli saluted and quickly
exited, impatient to see what had happened.

Once in Athrun�s room
they started to flip through the disks looking for the ones they were
interested in. The green-eyed Coordinator placed the record from the camera at
the entrance of the Palace and fast-forwarded it to a point just before the
estimated time when Kira should have come. It took some time slower
fast-forwarding till they saw Kira entering the Place with the mentioned white
lily in hand.

Athrun�s heart leaped at the sight of his beloved and
he smiled at the happy and serene expression that adorned the precious face. He
noted the exact time and changed the disk to the one with the record from the
next camera.

Cagalli sat next to him and followed the
changes in his expression as much as what was displayed on the screen. His
heart was in his eyes, now that he either didn�t bother to control his features,
or was absolutely unaware how his feelings were displayed on his face. She
watched as he changed the disks according to Kira�s
route in the Palace.

They saw his brief interaction with Mana and were sorry that they couldn�t hear what the two
had been talking about�

Yet since all the security records were kept
and never got deleted, all cameras had been set to record only two shots per
second [2] and no sound. This saved a lot of space considering that even though
digital records required less space for storage there were still a fair amount
of cameras and records. The recording pattern however prevented them from
lip-reading as well, so they sighed in annoyance and changed the disk
continuing to follow Kira�s path.

They watched him as he went down different
corridors occasionally lifting the flower in his hand to inhale its scent.

The blue-haired Coordinator remembered how his
mother, who adored flowers, would tell him and Kira stories about different
flowers and the meaning they signified [3]. It had been back when they had
still lived in Copernicus and had no idea that Lenore would die and that the
two friends would oppose one another on the battlefield.

And then they saw him knocking and entering in
Cagalli�s apartment.

There were cameras there as well. As much as
the Princess hated the idea of being under constant surveillance she was aware
that her status and actions made her a target, which in turn meant that she had
to be protected. And the cameras were a part of the protection that was needed.
The only places in her lodgings that were not followed by the electronic eyes
of the cameras were the restroom and the bathroom. She had also the option to
turn the cameras off if she desired so, but she never did, apprehensive of the
tension it would bring to her bodyguards. The only thing that was different
from the other places was that the microphones were normally off unless there
was a suspicious situation when the operators in the surveillance department
could turn them on.

The two youngsters looked at the exact time
when that had happened and then to each other. They had been there at the time.
A sudden chill went trough Athrun and he had a very bad gut-feeling. His hand
trembled as he changed the disks yet again.

He double-clicked on the file and moved his
gaze to the video-wall. He saw Kira entering Cagalli�s apartment with a
mischievous smile on his face. He loved that expression. When they were little
it meant his friend was thinking about something naughty. The brunet advanced a
few steps and stopped dead in his tracks, his smile vanishing to be replaced by
a stunned horror. The beautiful white lily slipped out of his hold and fell on
the ground. His beloved made a step ahead and paused again, this time his hand
flew to his mouth and his eyes filled with tears. Athrun�s
heart clenched and skipped a beat. Something must have hurt Kira very strongly
to make him react like that. He watched the record and couldn�t understand what
exactly. He needed to see more, but then�

Cagalli couldn�t stand it any more. Her brother
was crying. And the expression on his face spoke of immense pain that ripped
him from the inside. She had to find out what was the cause for it. She reached
and stopped the player.

�Why did you do that for?� Came
Athrun�s confused and rough voice. She could see he
was hurting too. Kira�s pain was making him suffer.
The pang of jealousy stroke her heart again but she
paid no attention to it. Instead she reached to touch her friend�s shoulder to
offer him her support and calmly said.

�If we continue this way we won�t find out what
we are looking for.� Her eyes moved in the direction of the video-wall to
indicate what she meant. �It would be better if we watched everything
simultaneously.� She started to go through the disks while she continued to
talk. �You set the player to play a few files at the same time and I�ll get all
the records from my apartment. We�ll transfer them on the hard drive and then
we�ll set them to start at the moment when Kira comes in my place. That way
we�ll know what is the reason for his distress.�

Even before she had completed her explanation Athrun�s fingers already danced on the keyboard setting the
player as she had proposed. It was good she remained collected, because he was
on the verge of losing his mind. His worries for Kira and his anxiety to meet
him had affected his reason.

Soon everything was ready and they played all
the files at a time.

Once again they saw Kira enter the apartment
and how his face changed from joyful to pained but
this time they saw what they had been doing at the same time. They had been
talking at the table. Both of them remembered the topic they had been
discussing at the time � Athrun�s feeling for Kira
and his plans to court him. They saw the blue-haired Coordinator reaching in
his pocket for the rings and Kira taking his stumbled exit.

Athrun�s soul cried. Kira had been terrified by him� He
had been shocked that his friend was in love with him� His worst nightmares
were coming true. He had no chance with the person who possessed his heart�

Cagalli knew what should be going on in his
head but had no idea what she could do to ease his pain. She found the disk
with the records from the corridor and loaded it. In the meanwhile Athrun tried
to pull himself together. He would gain nothing if he fell apart. And as much
as the Natural girl was his friend, he didn�t want her to witness his weakness.
He drew a few deep breaths and reminded himself that he would have all the time
to ponder and recollect on what he had seen and would see once he was in the
safety of his apartment where he could cry or shout or ask the fate why she had
made him fall in love with Kira if they were never meant to be together. But
not now! Now he would see the records till the end, no matter how painful it
would be.

And it was. Ha saw Kira lean against the wall
as if he desperately needed the support, then run towards the nearest rest room
and throw up.

Yet for some reason after that Kira headed for
Cagalli�s place once again. Athrun didn�t know what to think and he left thinking
for later now only watching and remembering.

But this time his beloved remained in the
apartment for brief seconds before his face got pale and stressed and then Kira
flew out of the room and the Palace as if the Devil himself was chasing after
him.

Athrun stood still for minutes, his mind unable
to process what his eyes had registered.

Cagalli kept silent unsure if there were any
words that could make the impact of the records less painful.

The boy shakily stood from the stool at the
computer and without a word collected the disks and went to his room.

Cagalli remained behind wondering what was
going to happen next. Lacus� words that something was terribly wrong with Kira
rang in her mind. They had come after the incident in the Palace and she dreaded
what the �wrong� would turn out to
be.

A/N: [1] I use �kun�, because the girl is a maid and
as such lower in rank than Athrun, so san might be a bit much, on the other
hand, Athrun is not close to her to feel comfortable using �chan�,
so I guess the indifferent �kun� is the best option. (it
reminds me of Fruits Basket, where Shigure addressed Tohru as �kun�). And I refer to Kira as �san� because
Athrun is talking about him with a third party.

[2] Most surveillance cameras don�t record constantly, they rather take shots at certain rhythm since
taking 2 shots out of 24 means using only 1/12 of the space that would
otherwise be needed. And one can�t do anything unnoticed in the half second
that the cameras don�t record. Besides the people following the cameras do see
everything and can change the recording pattern if necessary. Yet the fact is
that this prevents from recording sound. (Ok, even if I got something wrong � I
didn�t dig too much in the matter � just accept that it is like that in my
story).

[3] White lily
signifies purity, modesty, virginity, majesty, it�s heavenly to be with you. (source: internet)

Ok, am I not a sadist for ending Kira�s part of the storyline like that? And I bet none of
you saw the �Kira knows Rey� coming. There was a very small clue in chapter
NINE. And I am so cruel to both Athrun and Kira.

@ M: Athrun was not actually practicing, he was
trying to explain his feelings, but the result is the same anyway. And Kira is
fine, but the baby�? You�ll find out in the next chapter.

@ mikyu: Kira is not happy. He won�t be for a few
chapters at least. You can make him sad and pregnant ^_^. And it is true. Kira absolutely
lacks any fashion sense, and that having Athrun and Lacus around. They could
buy his clothes, and Cagalli�s for that matter, both twins are so thick when it
comes to fashion.

@
Green Moonlight: Now, if they
did listen to the whole conversations, there would be no story, would there?
^_^. And Kira did try to believe in Athrun even after the first blow he received,
but denying the child was a tad too much and he broke down. And thank you for
praising me. My head won�t fit on the pillow any more. *eats lots of chocolate*

@ Corwalch:
I am glad you enjoy the fic. I�ll try not to disappoint
you (as in all my readers).
- 15
- 16
- 17
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Lonely Desire