Centrepiece

Chapter
17

I
was going to say no kittens in this chapter, but that's not exactly true.

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Ray
groaned, leaning back against the wall of the shower, closing his eyes as the
water fell over him. This was his sanctuary, his time alone… and it had just
been violated. He let out a shuddering breath, feeling the movements of the
other as he ran his hands through the two-toned hair, his loins burning as he
felt it approaching.

“Kai…”
Ray bit his lip, wishing he had something to hold onto as his knees threatened
to buckle, his head falling back against the wall of the shower as he climaxed,
groaning harshly. Once he had enjoyed this. Once, but not now.

Even
in the shower he felt dirty.

There
had to be some way out of this, some sort of escape. Even as Kai pushed himself
up and caught Ray’s lips with his own Ray was not there, shutting his mind off
and acting by reflex. There were moments he considered ending it all, taking up
his razor and slitting his wrists to watch his blood pool on the white tiles of
the floor. On other occasions he took his razor and slit their throats, watching
the startled looks on their faces that would be set for eternity, telling them
that it was no ones fault but their own. Then logic took over.

Of
a night Ray would lay awake as they slept, longing to crawl from their bed and
down the hall to Bryan’s, curling up against him. For some reason Ray only
felt safe when Bryan was near, felt normal and revitalised. Felt… happy.

Ray
heard Kai growl as he pulled Ray closer, their bodies rubbing against each
other. Ray hated how despite being revolted by it all his body acted on its own,
responding to their fondlings despite his hatred. He swore that his body had its
own mind as he felt Kai’s erection brush against his own.

Yet
another thing Ray hated about himself was the fact he was so light, Kai easily
lifting him and guiding Ray’s legs around his hips before he entered him. Ray
looped his arms around Kai’s neck as the other bore up into him, an idea
playing through Ray’s mind before he gripped Kai’s shoulders, digging his
nails into the flesh and knowing he broke the skin. Kai didn’t seem to notice,
but Ray didn’t care. Kai would feel it later.

Ray
sighed. Hadn’t he dropped enough hints that he couldn’t keep doing this
forever? Normally when he had his shower Kai and Tala would continue their
games, but apparently Tala had been tired so Kai had decided to let him sleep. Kai let Tala sleep. Yet no
one ever let Ray sleep, ever. No one
ever asked him, or let him be.

Even
that morning Ray had awakened to find himself lying on his side, Tala driving
himself up into him as Kai worked him from the front. No, even in sleep they
couldn’t leave Ray alone, insisting on giving him ‘pleasant awakenings’
that usually left Ray running for the bathroom before he threw up all over them.

There
was no way they would ever let him go. If he ever told them that he was leaving
he was sure that they would bar his path, forcing him backward before giving him
a hundred reasons why he should stay, those very reasons they would use the same
ones that were what was making him leave. There was no way that he could just
walk out on them.

Ray
let out a strangled sob, knowing Kai probably thought it had something to do
with the way Kai was ravaging him. Tears were lost in the running water,
dizziness playing at his mind as he felt his body erupt, though all the emotions
that came with it seemed unnatural, distant, like he was not part of the moment
but rather elsewhere, observing it.

He
was but a rag doll, a puppet of which they pulled the strings and he would
respond. A thing they could toss around and use to their own desires, fulfilling
their own needs with no consolation to his own.

They
were killing him.

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Ray
has Kai all to himself and doesn't enjoy it? Silly boy. ^_^