Housework

Just a reminder, a flamel is the alchemic symbol of a snake on a cross. But, I'm sure you all knew that, which is good, cause I didn't. But, I have learned, go me. Thanks for reviewing, I'm incredibly grateful to everyone for keeping my spirits up and my fingers moving.

Presents

Three weeks had passed since they decided to have a birthday party and those two were driving Roy crazy, even worse than Maes. They wanted to know every little detail and they wanted to help, even encouraging Maes just so they had something to do. Al was so excited, he did everything twice, just to make sure. Edward was a bit more controlled, making a list and following it exactly. And now, they were fooling around in Edward's room, making all three of them late.

“Hurry up you two! We're late!” Roy tied his boots and grabbed his bag, holding the door open and tapping his foot.

“Colonel, Colonel, we can't find Brother's coat!” Al's voice floated through the house.

“Well, leave it, it's not cold today. Grab a sweater and let's go.” Late, late, they were all late and Carter and Hawkeye were both going to kill him.

The metal suit zipped around the corner and into sight, “We can't! He's had that coat forever and we can't lose it!” He ran back towards the blond's room.

“It's probably under the bed or something, we'll look tonight. Let's go!” He forced them both out the door, Edward sulking. “Where was it last?”

“In the closet.” Roy arched an eyebrow, that wasn't where he found it. “On the floor in front of the closet. Close enough.” The older brother pouted and refused to look at his guardian.

They missed workout and Carter was on the phone when Roy got to the office, ranting about irresponsibility and laziness. Once he escaped that, he listened to Hawkeye's version of the same speech. Not even half an hour passed before the Dean was on the phone about Edward starting a fight, Alphonse getting involved when his brother started to lose, and could he come get them? Now?

Roy lectured the entire way back to the office and sentenced them both to being Hawkeye's assistants for the day. His head hurt and it wasn't even 9:30 on day one. Six more to go; maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. Too late, he'd have to make sure they kept the scraps.

The blond Lieutenant opened the door and ushered the two boys in. Edward's cheek was swelling and there was a scuff on Al's armor. They stood and looked at the ground and no one said anything.

Hawkeye prodded the blond brother, who shuffled and kicked his brother. “Edward.” He hunched his shoulders and looked stubborn. “Alphonse.” Metal hands clenched and he shook his head without looking up. The woman sighed and looked at her boss. “Sir. These two are no longer allowed to work in this office.”

“What did you do?” Both boys stayed still. Roy's head felt like it would explode. He snuck his hand into the top drawer and patted around for the aspirin. His hand found the bottle and he hauled it out and turned it over. Nothing. Right, he'd already had a few today. “Well, I'm waiting.” No response. “Alphonse, tell me. Now.”

“We were just trying to be quick, it was boring.”

“What was boring?”

“Filing. We made an array to do it. It just didn't work very well.” He sounded defensive. “It'll work next time.”

“There are papers everywhere! It will take hours to resort those reports. Sir.” Hawkeye spoke up, her voice stiff with anger. The 'sir' sounded like a very bad word.

“Al, does we mean Edward? And it didn't work because he's in a bad mood and didn't think it through.” Al shuffled and shot a quick glance at his brother. “Hawkeye, leave us please. They'll be out in a few minutes.” Her heels clipped and the door closed gently. “Sit down." They didn't move. Fine. "Now, Edward, why are you being like this?” The boy stuck his nose in the air.

“We can't find his coat, sir, it's important! He was going to wear that coat until we got our bodies back and now we can't find it.” Al's distress was obvious and tears threatened.

“Alright. I have the coat. Ah!” He held up a hand, “It's for your birthday. Now, can you please start behaving properly?” Metal feet shuffled and Edward worried the edge of his shirt. “Where did you get that bruise, it wasn't there before?” They looked at each other, then the floor. 'Oh God' “You didn't just make a mess of the files did you?”

“Um, well, I was going to fix it but Brother said he could do it but he'd already made a mess and then he kicked me so I kicked him back and”

Roy cut him off to ask his favorite question, “What did you break?” He was long resigned to broken things with these two.

“We fixed it!” Roy frowned. “A desk, a chair, and Fuery's glasses. But that wasn't our fault, not really! I tripped and fell into the door and it shut in his face.” The Colonel started to get up from his chair. “He said he wasn't hurt and he wasn't bleeding or anything.” He sat back down and put his head on his arms. “Colonel, sir?”

“Just... stand there for a minute.” Roy left his head down, he was not going to let these two make him cry dammit! “Alright, go out and apologize. Send Fuery in here. Then, offer to help sort. Without alchemy! You are both banned from alchemy for the day for being careless No reading, no practicing, and no doodling arrays. I am not pleased that you two put everyone in this office at risk with an untested and unreliable array. You could have seriously hurt someone if it had exploded or backfired.” He glared at them and they looked horrified, the impact of what could have happened occurring to them.

“If Hawkeye does not want your assistance, come back and I will find something for you to do.” They both looked like they sincerely hoped Hawkeye was in a forgiving mood. She was, with the condition that they work on opposite sides of the room. Fuery was fine, he's jumped back in time to avoid being hit but had lost his glasses on the way.

The week passed uneventfully, both brothers raiding every cubbyhole in the house looking for their present. Roy even let them explore his room; they found nothing, not even a receipt. Finally, the day of the party arrived; Roy hadn't been this grateful for years.

“Now, I wanted to give you these before everyone arrives. If you don't like them, that's fine, we'll change it right back.” Roy got two boxes down, identical except for the names. He found himself terribly nervous. “Happy Birthday, late as it is.” Al carefully opened his box while his brother shredded his. They lifted out identical coats; black for Edward, white for Al. They were similar to the original, but had more fitted waists and skirts, like Roy's military uniform. On the back of each coat was a flamel in red, made from Edward's old coat.

“Edward, yours will be too big, I had them made to my size but we'll have them fitted and” His free arm flailed as he wrapped the other around the warm body that slammed into him. He found himself on the floor with a wriggling Edward in his lap. The blond was trying to hug him and put on his new coat at the same time, waving for his brother to try his on as well. The older man sat amazed while Edward struggled into his jacket and immediately set about fitting it. He felt the first tingle of energy rush over him and blue light flared. Before he could object, the full impact slammed over him, arching his back and leaving him breathless.

He fought to breath and heard Al calling him. “Roy! Roy! Are you alright? Brother, how could you?”

The harsh voice Roy liked to hear so much answered, “I'm sorry, ok? I forgot.”

“How could you forget?” Al was on a roll here, berating his brother was a favorite pastime and if he was feeling guilty, a lot could be said. “Not everyone can do that clapping thing you know, and they certainly don't go around transmuting themselves all the time! You're lucky he's alive, you know what he thinks of using alchemy without preparing first.”

“Shut up. I said I was sorry.” Roy decided now was a good timeto get some air and gasped as much as he could. Al immediately began patting his hand and Edward did the same on the other side. Once he was breathing regularly again, he pushed himself up and stared at the blond, who was completely unaffected.

“What did you do?”

“I was fixing my coat. It always feels like that, I'm used to it. I forgot you might be affected. Sorry.” He squeezed the hand he was holding and got it squeezed back.

Roy shook his head and climbed to his feet, “Try to be more careful, please. It's a bit of a shock.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, let's see. Edward, how does yours fit?” The boy turned around, letting the skirt flair a little. The waist was cinched in and the shoulders were fitted, showing off the slim, fit form. “Good, good. Al?” The metal boy turned, showing the waist needed to be brought in and the shoulders were a bit loose. His brother clapped and fixed it quickly. “You both look great. I hope you like them?”

“Oh, yes sir. They're wonderful. Thank you.” Al was all bright enthusiasm.

The older brother was suddenly shy but smiled and said, “Thank you, Roy.”

The Hughes family arrived soon after, bearing cakes and a mountain of gifts for Elysia. She babbled away and played happily with Al and Edward in the yard while Roy and Maes set up tables. The boys refused to take off their coats, even though it was getting quite hot.

The office staff arrived together, Havoc bringing up the rear with a basket containing kittens, one brown and white and one bright orange. Al immediately claimed the less flashy one and named it Zip. Edward grabbed his away, claiming it would have nothing to do with one with such a dumb name. Al chased him around for a bit before being called over to share his new friend with Fuery. For no fathomable reason, Edward named his Tea and settled in the middle of the yard to play with it.

Eventually, his jacket got too hot and he generously made Roy hold his new pet while he removed it and placed it carefully on the ground to serve as a blanket. Al and Elysia promptly settled on it as well and the five proceeded to play a complex game of no touching and staying on the blanket.